Many have said that garbage represents the inevitable fate of all intelligent life. They look into the refuse of a landfill and bemoan the way that civilization paints its own demise, showing emperors and fools alike rendered useless by the ravaging advance of time. Some ponies weep over their garbage, because of what they must cast aside.
These ponies have never met Silver Spanner, champion dumpster diver and Equestria's foremost poetic defender of the average pony's junk.
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I thought she was a pegasus
but oh well.
Yes, I had fun.
I had fun
Alright.
I enjoyed the characterization you have going on here. The dumpster diver clashing with Rarity strikes me as a delightful base from which to build some meaningful conflict. Also, like your other work, this one has near-impeccable grammar.
There are, however, a number of issues I had while reading this story, the most glaring of which was the opening sentence. Weather reports are generally bad openers because they're boring and cliched. That isn't to say that you should never use one, but I suggest only doing so if you have a very very very good reason. I saw no such reason here. In that same vein, I noted that you rely heavily on the "to be" verbs. Those are passive verbs and they tend to get boring after a while. It's usually better to use plenty of active verbs that engage the reader's attention. My last big complaint was the bit in the beginning where Rainbow's wings burst on fire. I believe I understand what you meant to do--you wanted to use some cartoonish slapstick--but it really doesn't come through very well in a written medium. It either gives the story a more surreal feel, which is bad for immersion, or makes it look like you literally maimed or even killed one of the characters, which seems to go against the fic's general atmosphere. Visual gags like that tend to not work well in stories, so writers turn to other avenues to write humor.
Still, this is a strong story, and if you walk away from it with an idea of how to further improve as a writer, then it's a win for you and a win for your readers. Well done.
This is really great! A nice, simple, little story with a good atmosphere and fun similes.
I'm glad a pic of mine inspired such a joyous little fanfic!
Yes, I had fun.
[youtube=DpZ5AWIlaTw]
A person in my friend group has all manner of rescue treasures. We went to his house and were inspecting some of his latest things and the answer to every "Where'd you get this" was "In the dumpster".
Including an almost brand new folding power strip, a cardboard standee (forget for which game) and some other cool junk.
That's not including anything you'd be able to pull from a dumpster that you could use directly as an artist working in "reclaimed materials".
7097606
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Mission accomplished.
7097752 And I'm glad you enjoyed it!
7097712 I'll be honest, my standardized education did barely anything to cover the English language. The difference between passive and active verbs is a concept that you've just now literally introduced me to.
As for the beginning, I honestly couldn't think of a better way to start it, and I'm not sure how well it would flow if I just hacked off that opening paragraph and cut right to Silver Spanner having a good day.
I'd appreciate assistance, if you're willing to offer it.
I think that was fun. You had fun to? I did. Now... shirtoid.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/scibot.jpg
7098778 Yes, Silver Spanner and her deathbots will shred all the sick tunes.
That was a most entertaining story!
A dumpster diving pony who loves trash and building things and fixing things from it. Ingenious and hilarious in its own right. I loved how Rarity was so use to it she never batted an eye lash at Silver Spanner.
7099537 So glad to hear that you enjoyed it!
As a man who's character in fallout 4 has a crippling addiction to screws (I once slowly walked from dimond city area to sacuary it took 2/in game days because me and Nick valentine where overloaded with 500 typewriters) And aluminum (similar story involving 900 surical trays) this story gave me such a resource boner.
Brilliant work. Short, sweet, and wierd as all get-out. Nice job!
My, my isn't this a trashy story.
Very fun. fun/7. Totally.
A lovely character piece, and further evidence for my pet hypothesis that all unicorns are at least a little bit crazy. Nice work.
(Also, note that I have several of your stories in my Read Later list. There will be further commentating, I assure you.)
7343432 Yay! The promise that I shall once again taste that most delicious of treats, honest feedback!
While entertaining as a bit of fluff, this story left me feeling... meh. The premise is excellent and not one I've seen before. Additionally, your choice of Silver Spanner was a nice pick as I think this is the first story I've ready where she's the protagonist. Even the concept was great. But I felt the execution lacking. As mentioned by PegasusMesa, starting with a weather report is not usually a good thing. Personally, I tend to stop reading as soon as I see that. I get that you're trying to convey that it's hot enough to cause a pegasus to catch fire, but I feel that there are better ways to do that. On that note, with most of Ponyville down for the count how is it that our hardy heroine is virtually unaffected by this monstrous heat?
I feel like this story leave me with more questions than I had when going in. While it was entertaining (and I did have fun reading it), for me, it's worth a thumbs up, but I won't be adding it to my favorites.
7605744 Very understandable.
Had fun
Your OC (is she an OC?) is fun and very interesting. Her love for trash is both gross and endearing. I like that she builds mechanical stuff out of garbage. I like that she uses crystals as conductors for electricity. I like the whole concept of 'teslafication'. I'm impressed by her really.
I enjoyed the part where you compared her sneaking in on the trash bag to 'a jungle cat stalking its prey through the tall grass'. The whole scene where she was treating the bag like prey was amusing.
Also, for some reason this last sentence was also amusing:
But alas, you made one mistake. You missed the perfect opportunity to name this story "One Mate's Trash Is Another Mare's Treasure".
7799131 She's a background pony.
7799141 Oh? Well shoot. What episode did she first appear in?
7799206 No idea. Just google Silver Spanner.
7799270 Oh okay!
Dude, some of the best stuff comes out of dumpsters. In fact, the writing desk that I'm currently using is a dumpster find, as is the lamp that's next to it, giving me light.
I love Silver Spanner (and other ponies with 'Silver' in their name), and while I've never gone with the official line that she's a tinker who likes to dumpster dive, that is sorta canon.
Have a fave, good sir!
I had fun.
I do wonder how often Rarity would need quadrupal rows of stitching, or if the extra needle-arms can be disengaged... Actually just removing the needles would do the trick now that I think of it.
Congratulations, your story makes sense to a mechanical engineer!
Heh, the key point is hidden well! It's not just any pony's garbage, but Rarity's. She who works with metal and gems, the foundations of magitech!
Cool!