Nuts and Bolts

by Nines

Gremlins

Silver Spanner was rummaging through a crate of parts when she heard Mjolna clear her throat behind her. One ear swiveled in the earth pony's direction as the unicorn spared the briefest glance. "Oh, hey," she said. "What's up?"

"Silv," Mjolna said, as if speaking through her teeth. "You know that I am perhaps the only pony capable of tolerating your junk—"

"Treasures," Silver corrected.

"Treasures," Mjolna said with the barest hint of a growl. "But I must ask... What in the name of Equestria is that thing in the kitchen?"

Silver turned to scrunch her muzzle at her roommate. "Huh? But I told you already!"

The northerner sucked at her teeth before answering, "I think I would remember you mentioning the behemoth hunk of metal currently threatening to break our dining table."

"But I left you a note!"

"A note?" Mjolna scowled as she looked up in thought. Her eyes widened and her lips turned thin. "You aren't referring to that rag that was on my face when I awoke this morning, are you?"

"Yeah!" Silver chirped. "I used up all our paper designing your new hoof-weapon." She nudged her companion. "It's gonna be pretty amazing, by the way!"

Mjolna would not be distracted. "You wrote a message...on a rag."

"I just said we ran out of paper."

"You wrote a message on a rag and left it on my face. While I slept."

Silver Spanner's withers tightened as she felt a ghost of defensiveness rise up in her. "You are a very difficult mare to wake up, I'll have you know!"

Mjolna stomped a hoof. "How did you even write the message!?"

"The blood of innocent foals."

The earth pony's ears pinned. "What?"

Silver snickered and resumed rummaging through her parts, "Ink, mallet-head. I used ink!"

"Well, as I clearly missed your daft message, can you please just tell me what in Tartarus that contraption is?"

"It's an anti-gremlin machine." When this garnered no response, Silver sighed irritably and turned around to look at her friend. Mjolna was looking at her like she'd just started drooling. "You've never heard of gremlins in your homeland?"

"I'm afraid not. Can you explain to me why you think our loft is apparently in need of gremlin removal? If it's a pest, you know I can take care of it!"

Silver chewed on the inside of her cheek and sat roughly on her haunch. "That's the problem! Gremlins are fast. Sneaky. And they're attracted to technology. They like to make machinery stop working. This place is like a toy store to them." The tinker pony's ears went flat against her head as she ground a hoof angrily into the floorboards. "I've written countless letters to this monster-hunting agency in Canterlot, but they told me that gremlins don't exist!"

"Perhaps because they don't?" Mjolna said flatly.

The other mare snorted. "Shows what you know."

"Well how does this 'anti-gremlin' machine work, anyway?"

Silver brightened at the opportunity to show off her latest creation. With perked ears and a bright smile, she trotted over to the machine in the kitchen area. "Here, it's better to show you!" The large contraption was heavy metal soldered together with lots of bulbs, wires, and buttons in a chaotic spread across its surface. The round wood table sagged under the weight of the thing. Silver's horn lit up and a switch was flipped. The machine whirred to life, lights blinking all over.

The unicorn sat back and grinned. Mjolna flicked an ear as she sat next to her, a bemused frown on her face. They sat there for a long time before the earth pony snapped, "Silver, what the buck does it do?"

Silver shot her an annoyed look. "You're looking at it!"

Mjolna's penetrating stare indicated just how much she appreciated this answer.

The unicorn's tail lashed behind her, and she quipped, "It's a decoy! All it does is whir and blink those lights! I even put snozzberries inside, hoping the scent will attract the gremlins!"

"Very well," Mjolna said. "So what happens once the 'gremlins' come? Is a trap sprung?"

Silver stared at her blankly. "Er... No. I have a camera set up to take a picture once a trigger is activated. I was going to send it to the Canterlot monster agency." Her lips puckered as she glared determinedly at her machine. "I'm going to prove to those glorified jocks that I'm not crazy!" Her glare deepened and she stomped the floor. "I'm not!"

Mjolna, meanwhile, covered her face with a hoof. "Windigo teeth... How is it that I live with such a mare?"

---

She was dreaming of slaying an undead centaur when a loud bang startled her from her sleep. Mjolna sat up in her bed, her eyes feeling gummed up and her limbs sluggish. The ordinarily dark loft was softly lit by Silver's infernal Gremlin decoy. When the earth pony's vision had adjusted, she glared at the machine and flopped back onto the bed. Damned device probably woke me... Silver's lucky she paid the rent last month, or else I may have ignored her pleas and chucked it out the window!

As Mjolna settled down to rest again, she heard something scratching along the wooden floors. Now she bolted upright, her eyes wide and sleep fleeing her. A low chitter came from the direction of the kitchen.

With lips pursing, the northener slipped out of bed and went to investigate. A quick glance at Silver's end of the loft revealed that her roommate was dead asleep and no closer to waking. Mjolna quietly mimicked Silver from earlier that day, but whinier: "'You are a very difficult mare to wake up, I'll have you know!' Feh!"

She stopped short when she heard a tiny, evil giggle. Her face hardening, she moved toward the source of the sound. It had come from somewhere near the gremlin device.

"Who is there?" She hissed in the dark. No answer. Mjolna bared her teeth and said more firmly, "Show yourself, kujon! Or it will be the worse for you!"

There was a low growl, then the sound of metal scraping.

There! Atop the machine!

"Aha!" Mjolna bellowed. "I have you now!" She leapt up onto the table, which creaked under her weight, then reared up to get a better look at the top of the machine.

She saw a small green beast with batlike ears and red-orange eyes fly at her with a snarl, followed by a flash of white.

It was about then that the table broke.

---

"What do you mean, you didn't see anything?" Silver grunted as she used her magic to lift the Gremlin decoy off of Mjolna's back.

"It is just as I said," the northerner groaned as her roommate gave her a helping leg up. She winced and cracked her neck, then said, "All I saw was a flash. Nothing more."

"But the gremlin attacked you! Right? Why else did you get out of bed and on top of the table? My camera even snapped a picture!"

"To turn your damned machine off, that's why!" Mjolna snarled. She winced and started limping for the door. "Enough questions. It is just about time that I left for my work at the smithy—"

Silver tilted her head to the side, one ear drooping. "Huh? But Celestia hasn't even risen the sun yet!"

"Yes, well... I have special business to attend to."

"But—"

"Go back to sleep, Silver Spanner! We both know how you get when that skrælling brain of yours doesn't get its rest." Mjolna didn't wait to hear Silver's response. She hurried out the door, down the stairs, and out onto the streets of Barley's End. From there, she did just as she told Silver she would do. She went to work.

Four hours later, when her boss, Risky Axe, appeared at the blacksmith workshop, he was surprised to find her forging what looked like a menacing helmet.

"Mjolna?" The coal gray stallion asked with a quirked eyebrow. "What are you doing here so early? Did we get an order I didn't hear about?"

Mjolna's ear flicked in his direction, but her eyes remained focused on the helmet. "I need new armor," she grunted.

The stallion sat and scratched his white goatee. "Armor? Are you going to war or something?" He chuckled like the idea amused him.

The northern pony looked at Risky, grinning in the hot glow of the forge. His chuckles petered out at the intensity in her eyes. "Risky, I have a new beast to hunt! One that could earn me prestige with the Royal Guard!" Mjolna returned to her work. "I checked the machinery. It's all intact, so do not fear. But now I must hurry. My fjollet roommate may scare away my new quarry!"

Risky came closer, his brow now furrowing. "Mjolna, what are you rambling about? A beast? And why would you need to check our machinery?"

Mjolna's eyes went distant, her hammer freezing mid-air. "Gremlins..." she breathed with a hungry smile.

Comments

[Nines]

7150605 I'm actually considering adding an adventure tag. Some of the other readers let loose a plot bunny in my head, and it's just too tempting.

Mjolna is also threatening violence if she doesn't get to kick flank.

...She can be scary when she wants to be.

[nature of force]

Oh those northern gals.

[the frank]

Damn... already upvoted this one... well, have a +1!

[Evowizard25]

Seems both of them are a little more nuts then I thought. Not sure if withholding the information is a good thing, Mjolna, but if you do take one down, it does prove your friend right too. So, good on you.