Brony-wan-kenobi
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Brony-wan-kenobi · 24k words · 137 27 · 3.9k views
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So how long until Diamond Tiara gets banished? I get the feeling that she will not end up very happy when she has no money, job skills, or any symphony when it gets out. I think she will end up in the oldest profession when she is found out. Kinda sad that this was only a single shot as I wanted to see her get brought to justice.
7065341 Oh, this plot line will continue in the next story
7065385
So who is next?
7065528 More Luna/Big Mac
God why is it every time luna does something, it somehow goes back to nightmare moon. I kinda dismissed the whole tantebus thing since no one was really hurt. Heck, you could argue that they had fun fighting that thing in the dreamworld. This school seemed to be a way for her to help herself as well as others. And now Diamond Tiara had to go and mess it up for literally everyone. I wish you would continue this. This has the makings for a good drama story.
7065831 This story line will continue. It's part of a series that I am writing.
7065831
It's not all one-sided either. That is, I hope it won't be. Diamond Tiara did something horrible, but she's also kept in a place she doesn't want to be. Forcing kids into military schools to "straighten them out" is a terrible idea, as is collective punishment. It creates the sort of violent bullying you can clearly see, and the teachers are doing their damn best to encourage it.
Reasonable Voice may be presented as an antagonist, but honestly, I think she's right. Luna's school is atrocious. She needs to change some things.
I'm probably the only one who sees it that way, though.
7066068 You make a good point and I hope its flushed out. I can see that reasonable voice does have a vaild concerns about the type of school Luna has made but throwing up nightmare moon as a deterrent was a low blow. You can argue that the tantibus was indeed her fault but again it was spawned from a moment of weakness. Had she been strictly professional about the situation than she probably would've been more likeable. But she basically made it personal. Its possible that she may even try to sabotage the school just to close it.
7066215
Oh, definitely. Reasonable Voice's conduct is completely inappropriate. All things considered, the three most reasonable people currently appear to be Zecora and her three drugged students.
7066215
7066068
I hope you have both read The Secret Island and Nightmare Night Fun which are both part of the same clop series. The Island talks a bit more about the school.
7066268
Perhaps you should add that part in the description somewhere. If it's part of a series, readers could use the hint about what stories to read in what order.
I did read it now, and, well, Diamond Tiara did some really rotten things. But this school doesn't help any. Nor are the teachers helping things. The best thing would be to take her out of there, because now she's even got the other students threatening her with violence and Harvest is stoking the fire every chance he gets.
And that's simply not acceptable.
They need some changes around that school, and Harvest needs to be put as far away from any students as possible. Just because Reasonable Voice is presented with and obvious bias and extreme rudeness doesn't make the other side spotless.
7066284
This behavior is based on stories that I've heard. The idea behind it is supposed to show actions have consquiences and for the students to help detour bad behavior. However, I don't believe that they would like what happened at the end.
Lol, violence is always the answer
On a re read I am surprised that Diamond Tiara had not had a sock party thrown for yet, multiple times. I have heard how unit members in the military would punish the members who routinely failed. With how Diamond Tiara has been I am surprised ey waited this long to have a little talk with her. I bet the fight ring will be a very painful experience for her.
AcademY'S. ies in this case would imply multiple academies, but you mean in this case the problem filly of this particular one.
School's. For same reasons as before.
FaIL. Nor far.
Exclamation mark, not comma.
UpS. Plural.
WaS.
You'll regret that.
This makes no sense.
Who hates their kid that much? It's like they WANT him to become a supervillain.
HanDsomE.
deter.
SweEt.
stallion'S.
SacK.
comma between did and she.
No apostrophe.
comma between breasts and he.
Comma between thrust and her.
GaG reFLEX.
One'S.
I think you want to put a between in the middle of from and her.
No a.
TantAbus.
She's immortal, and I can think of only 2 possibly 3 beings that can actually stop her. Celestia, Discord, and possibly Twilight.
HOLD IT! HOLD EVERYTHING! This isn't just her being a bitch or a bully. This is her being an outright MONSTER. This is PSYCHOTIC behavior.
GraB.
(With all due respect, get an editor.)
you know, i'm going to have to give this a dislike. Why? That abrupt ending.
I mean, seriously? You give as this backdrop of Luna having to deal with a bitch of a mare who's attitude towards luna makes me think way too much of the Golden Chalice family from one of my own fics, explain how Diamond is now going to be watched very carefully by her unit, that the investigation is still ongoing, hinting it will eventually lead to diamond being found out, and you end it there?
Really?
7191040 it leads into the next story
Diamond Tiara is just a snot nosed little brat that needs to be put in her place, but daddy didn't give any sort of discipline.
2 ponies I want to see die: Diamond Tiara and Reasonable Voice.
7544821 check out the next story
7544903
Already onto Pip's! I should be sleeping, but I had a fuckton of coffee for driving Uber until 4AM and I'm going to enjoy my remaining time awake. Say, could you perhaps make a future story dealing with Zecora's recovery and reintegration of sex into her life?
7544912 well, I had been thinking of a non clop story where Rumble and Zecora deal with what happened to they, but every time I tried to write it nothing seemed right to me. Maybe someday I'll write another Zecora story if I can find a good pairing. But the next story will be Spike, Sweetie Belle, and Ember
I can't read this. You need to have someone read it over before submitting. You need an editor.
Get an editor. Still hot, though.
I was hoping this would end up being less dark.
lol the thumbnail looks like porn