• Member Since 9th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen July 5th


I don't read your stories because I'm crazy. I'm crazy because I read your stories!


Of all the times it had to happen, why now?

Oh, Celestia, why?

Here I am in the middle of a crowded street in Manehatten at the grand opening of my new store. And now is when I have to get an itch there?

What have I done to deserve this torture?

Edited by AlicornPriest

Special thanks to
Aeluna for their review
FamousLastWords for their review

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 23 )

I imagine this is what Rarity battles with on a daily basis :rainbowlaugh:

Just because it was low brow, doesn't mean it wasn't good. pretty damn funny.

:raritycry: what, why are you all in my office?
:moustache: Ah Rarity. . . .
:ajsmug: Ya look like ma dog
:pinkiehappy: Ohhhhhhhhh
:rainbowlaugh: scooter?
:facehoof: we wanted to take you out for lunch . . .but.....
:fluttercry: Poor Rarity
:moustache: claws ya know. . . .:raritystarry:

I can already imagine Rarity's reaction to that.

"Oh, it. It is? I, uh, huh, how did that...THE NOSE PICKER!" :rainbowlaugh:


Poor itchy Rarity *scratches raw skin*

This might be the stupidest fanfic I have ever read. :pinkiehappy:

This was undeniably, undoubtedly stupid.

But for some reason, I loved it.

I swear that one place just gets lit on fire, whenever your hands/hooves can't get to it. No matter if it's nose, butt, or anywhere else.

It pays to be sneaky.:raritywink:

Great work.

Oh dear, that was horrible. Bet you can't write Pinkie figuring out how to piss in a bottle.

Well, this was by far the most random thing I've seen all day. And y'know what? I loved every second of it. Hope you won your challenge, good sir.

I think I've stepped up my A-game and proven myself that I can write about scratching butts.

You know what's really funny?

If someone was reading the comments before they read the story and they came across your comment, they'd think you lost your f:derpytongue2:king marbles. *rimshot*

Anyway, I must decline that challenge as I don't feel like I can adequately deliver a good story. I was confident in this story because I am an expert at scratching my butt. I do it every day, and never miss a day of practice.

I'm a master at pissing, too. I've pissed in urinals, on trees, under bridges, in snow, in pools, in the shower, in sinks, in the wind, and even in bottles. But see, I come with a different set of equipment, and I don't quite understand the complications that come with a -- what is it called? -- a vah-gee-nuh?

The best writers know what they're writing about, and as surprising as it may seem, I am not an expert on vah-gee-nuhs, despite how attractive I am.:moustache:

The story is hilarious, but isn't Suri an earth pony?

Wait... Did I say Suri was a... Oh! It must have been the part with the scissors. I guess I might need to tweak that sentence if it can be easily misunderstood. :facehoof:


With her speech done, she snatched up the giant pair of scissors that Suri was holding with her magic.

There, FIXED!

Thanks for that.:twilightsmile:

Thanks for that.:twilightsmile:

No problem!

This reminds me of this:

This story really fell flat for me.


1. Opening was way too vague for it to be a hook.
2. You ran with the joke instead of running ahead of the joke. Go beyond what you wrote, because it was expected from the get-go.

This story would have to have a bit of a re-write for me to really like it, and also an editor to fix some of these dents.

I probably shouldn't be as amused by this as I am. :rainbowlaugh:

I feel silly replying to this so late, but thank you for the input. You wouldn't happen to remember what you meant by "dents"? Are you talking about something that you haven't mentioned in your comment?

Login or register to comment