• Member Since 24th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

shirotora


I'm just a simple, southern man that loves ponies, Star Wars, ridiculousness, and adorable things. I'm also an ex-Navy nuclear machinists mate, and life long martial artist.

T
Source

Twilight Sparkle was a daughter to Nightlight and Twilight Velvet, a sister to Shining Armor, and a student to Princess Celestia. That was who she was, nothing more and nothing less.

However, on the longest day of the thousandth year, her world will change forever. A secret kept even from her will be revealed and her life will be forever changed.


A different take on the Nightmare Moon incident with a slightly darker outcome.

I'm not sure where the cover came from. If you do, please let me know. Cover art belongs to rosahadoodle

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 87 )

Hmm, a interesting idea.

And it is bad that "twiluna" can not live with Celestia

An interesting take on the whole situation.

You know it is a sad and yet joyous story. So the next question is how long do alicorns live? Have an up vote!

Continuation? Pretty please, with Pumpkin Cake and Twiluna?

More? Please? Pretty, pretty please?:twilightsmile:

Like this comment if you want a sequel (or more chapters)!

This feels like it needs a LOT more world building. Like...a lot more.

7057023 Celestia says she should've passed on three hundred years ago, so alicorns naturally live sometime more than seven hundred years. Which means that TwiLuna and PumpLestia will have a long, long time together...

Found this, probably the source for your picture.

7057244
Assuming they were born on the night Luna was banished, yes. We have no idea how old they were when that happened.
7057023
Forever is the implications here. They use a reincarnation cycle to renew themselves whenever their physical forms burn out however. I suppose the question you are asking though is how long their physical bodies last before the need for the renewal, yes?

This is definitely an interesting take on the series.

I've got to wonder how all the baddies go. Discord's probably defeated by the EoH, and Shiny/Cadence'll help against Chrysalis and Sombra, but what about Tirek? Did he escape? Does Discord get redeemed? Do the vines do vine things? Does Starlight wake up to a garrison from Canterlot?

7057499 Which is why I said "sometime more than" 700 years. Like you say, we've got no better figures.

(I suppose Cadance has her own reincarnation cycle in this universe? That'd actually explain a lot about her...)

Like a phoenix, she rises from the ashes...

By the way, does Twilight just look like her normal alicorn self now, or does she look like Luna? Or some combination of the two?

Kinda vague until the end...

I'd like to see a continuation, it is an interesting concept I don't remember having seen before.
I am a bit confused, however, when it comes to Twilight. Since she's Luna reborn, what, exactly, was Nightmare Moon? A remnant of the former Luna, needed to fully recreate Luna/Twilight in her new incarnation? And how could she be reborn while incomplete?

Well, this was an interesting concept! I'm seeing all these people asking for Pumpkin and Twiluna, but what I think would be more interesting is Twiluna's and Cele-

wait

oHHH

You didn't, oh my god, you didn't.

Maybe Shining and Pound can start a club. The "I have a reincarnated alicorn sister" club. Because there is no doubt in my mind that Pumpkin= Celestia.

7057831
AHAHAHAHAHAHHA, oh gosh your thought process was beautiful. XD
Yep, I also heartily agree that Pumpkin could be the next Celestia.

I can see the sequel already.

The Cakes being shocked that Pumpkin is Celestia reincarnated...
Twilight teaching her how to do stuff...
Random disaster comes, Princess TwiLuna + EoH = Victory...

How about Starlight?

[Content Removed]

7057878

THat was my literal thought process lol

I literally figured out that Pumpkin was Tia as I wrote. And that ending clinches it.

Twilight smiled. “Not at all. If she shows that kind of talent at such an age, it's almost a guarantee she'll retain that into adulthood. Besides, I want to do for another what Celestia did for me.”

Pinkie pondered on that before replying with, “Yeah, but, Princess Celestia only took you on because you're the reincarnation of her sister.”

Twilight’s only reply was a knowing smile.

Princess Twiluna takes on Pumpkin because she's her dead sister

To be honest I wasn't sure about reading this. With the concept of "secret connection between Twi and Luna, Celestia's secret" and the number of tyrantlestia fics that have popped up recently I really was worried about this... then I read the reviews, had the story spoiled and read it anyway.

Very well done, heartbreaking and heartwarming at the same time. Unusual concept, and one that should be expanded on

A really cool story! :twilightsmile:

I just had to laugh really hard when others said that Shining Armor is Twilight's coldfriend. :D

Pinkie pondered on that before replying with, “Yeah, but, Princess Celestia only took you on because you're the reincarnation of her sister.”

Twilight’s only reply was a knowing smile.

Oh shit...

It's definitely a very neat idea, but it's very vague of the details of the how and why. We get just enough to be able to follow along with what you intend, but it leaves out a lot of details. It leaves much to be desired. This could be expanded greatly, and pretty much demands a much more detailed explanation.

Also, I have to take issue with how Twilight just rolls with it initially. Even with a variety of memories resurfacing in Twilight's mind, I think an emotional breakdown of some sort would still be totally justified, and we never really get that.

Shining also feels like he was thrown in as an afterthought, and other than to confirm the truth to Twilight, he felt somewhat unnecessary.

In short, it's a truly brilliant idea, but it's one that needs LOADS more fleshing out to really get the full effect out of it.

Huh.
Huh.

Okay. You have a wonderful concept, but your execution is subpar. I usually read and process things very quickly, but I had to skim parts of this - parts of it that felt like filler. I'm not sure.

It needs to be refined - but you have a beautiful concept going, here.

I give this a 6/10. It was a wonderful concept, but it was also a formulaic rush job.

7058100 No no no, how silly! Shining was obviously her husband.

I liked it but it did seem rushed.

7057780 Just guessing, but maybe Nightmare Moon was why the reborn Twilight!Luna didn't get her memories back until the two of them merged? In that case, Nightmare Moon would be a split part of Luna's soul, probably with a lot of dark magic all around it.

That was a very weird story, like seriously, still good though, just...weird, maybe because the short length.

And here I thought it would be a story about Luna riding a bike. :rainbowlaugh:

Seriously, this raises interesting possibilities. Have a moustache! :moustache:

Damn.
Now I want more, but there probably won't be. :ajsleepy:

"Maybe a diamond dog, but most of them are meanies. What would a diamond pony even look like?"

And that's where crystal ponies come from!

Pinkie pondered on that before replying with, “Yeah, but, Princess Celestia only took you on because you're the reincarnation of her sister.”
Twilight’s only reply was a knowing smile.

Awesome ending, good work. :twilightsmile:

I love how this turned out! This is so cute!

It's a really, really interesting idea, but the execution is terrible. The whole thing feels rushed, and very little is explained. Why did Celestia die? Why is she being reincarnated? Why is Twilight Luna? How did Shining Armour know? If Celestia told him, why? The dialogue feels very robotic and expository, especially from Shining Armour and the Mane Six. Almost nothing is done to set the scene, so I'm never quite sure where anything is happening.

The pacing is all over the place as well, with the journey through the castle taking forever, but everything after that passing in the blink of an eye. It doesn't help that there's a time skip of unspecified length right in the middle of it, so it's difficult to tell when everything after it is supposed to be taking place. As such, I can't help but feel that Twilight adapted to her new role far too quickly because I have absolutely no hints as to how long it's been. And to top it all off, I spotted a ton of grammar errors.

It's a shame, because with a bit of polish this could be a very interesting story. I've never seen this concept done before, and it has the potential to be a unique story. Unfortunately, it doesn't do its concept justice.

an interesting story, but you really need to up that writing quality. So much of the dialogue feels wooden and unnatural, it distinctly comes off that you have dialogue or story ideas, and you're trying to force them in with dialogue that just doesn't feel right coming out of the character's mouths. Your ideas are definitely good, but the flow is all off.

May I have permission to create a sequel to this amazingly stunning story?
If you like, just I can link you in the description.
If so, Thank you. :derpytongue2:

~Nyx Moon
Night Moon

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt chapter please

Pinkie pondered on that before replying with, “Yeah, but, Princess Celestia only took you on because you're the reincarnation of her sister.”
Twilight’s only reply was a knowing smile.

*mind gears working* Twilight = Luna...Pumpkin = Celestia?:rainbowhuh:

I have to say, this is the first time I've seen a AU like this. And I like it.
Have a green thumb.

Well, if nobody understood it before, Pinkie's last line at the end sure cleared that right up for them, didn't it?

7060659 I was thinking Sunset Shimmer

Definitively an different take on the same old. Great stand alone story.

Scrub!

You reached the top of the box.

That is all.

Sadly i can only upvote once...

This was a great read. I have seen many X is a changeling stories. I have seen several X and Y swap roles. This is the first character X and character Y are the same entity that I have seen. Well done. Loved the little bit there at the end.

Edit to add, Faved and upvoted.

Huh, well, I don't regret reading this. At all. Had a good time, laughed some, frowned some, even facepalmed once or twice. particularly at the whole Jak Attack phasing through walls stuff.

Other than mistakes in the words and stuff (I've been up for nearly 24 hours now with a cold and nyquil, so if things don't come out right that is why), I agree with what quite a few commentators have said already: Amazing idea, mediocre execution. Mind you, I find that to be my own struggle as well, having good ideas but then struggling to execute them satisfactorily (hell, I think that most people have this problem).

Maybe open up to maybe working with another author/editor to iron out the kinks and flesh it out into something amazing all around?

7061127
That'd work so much better.
But isn't Sunset, like older than Twi already? How does that work? And she's already in the human world.:rainbowhuh:

Login or register to comment