• Member Since 5th Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen Monday

Enderdragonslayer1


Ender-Born

T

A rewrite of Spirits

Sunny Days, a young alicorn filly, wakes up in the middle of a forest with no memory. She is adopted by Princess Celestia shortly after she is nearly killed by a Manticore.


Act 1: Rise of Princess Sunny Days
Act one follows Sunny's early life as she starts to discover her past and destiny. However, an old enemy of her mother's resurfaces to bring about eternal night. But is there more to this mare than meets the eye?


More acts to come.
Character Tags will represent the current act.
The story starts twenty years before season 1


Cover Art created by PonKing.
Find the previous cover arts here ---> https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/737867/past-cover-arts

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 29 )

Hmm, A very interesting beginning so far, I can't wait to see more!

If what Celestia's going to is bad when what I would in her place would besalute absolute hell:pinkiecrazy:

P.S good start although I'd say you should make the chapters longer:eeyup:

Wow the improvment in quality is stagering from the your first work of the series. Good work, keep it up.

And a good start i most say, even if the ransom demands sems a bit off for kidnapping a alicorn. But hey the world is full of stupid ppl looking for a way to gett rich fast.

7060293

Maybe that wasn't the original intent?

You'll find out next chapter!

I don´t really care if someone thinks that would work, but I think even if I have already seen Alicorn Stallions, I still need to see an Alicorn Colt/foal.
I read rather rarely only between 1000-2000 words, and I hope that you don´t rush the story later.

Sorry I tried so hard to think about the right words to describe what I mean without to sound mean, but I feel like that didn´t worked this time.
Please ignore any odd sounding sentences, I really like it, I just hope you don´t rush it, and that we get to see many nice parts between the action parts too. Not sure if this is suppoes a long Slice of life / adoption story right now.

It’s just that with my coloration and the fact that I’m always optimistic of everything,

I guess right now we haven´t seen much of her, and because of that I can´t really agree with her right now. However I can also can't disagree.

I know it is because I'm used to read much more, but it felt short. However I like it.

Okay I already don´t like the timeskip there, I feel like there should at least one, or two more scenes with her adjusting to the hospital, and maybe to Celestia till it happens.

“I don’t normally have a lot to do during the day,” she admitted, “Even with day court, I still have plenty of extra time to spare.”

Finally a Celestia that takes time for herself, or in this chase has time.

When I woke up again, I was expecting to be in a comfortable bed with my adoptive mother over me, smiling fondly down at me.

I know kidnapping is some sort of a ailment which adoption storys sometimes have or very often, but this is to soon I think.

I´m not really judging you to fast and still give you time to show me some stuff, but even if I´m nnot sure, I kind of want to say that you are already trying to rush the plot. I know I just prefer some Slice of Life to and not non-stop action only, but since you already had skipped the getting to know part, I thought you would let her have some.....well Child time I guess.

I noticed you already have two storys about her, and till now I don´t know if this story is some sort of sequel, or a start of a different story, but anyway those moment probably shouldn´t have been forced to happen that fast. Even the kiddnappers would probably try to get soem sort of plan and need two or three days for that.

Nice chapter, this one felt okay and not rushed. I know you probably want to have her grown up sooner or later, so I try to consider it if I read one of the other chapters later.

I finally have the time to review this. So sorry it took so long; school is really busy around this time. Anyway, this story i very similar to your first story, so I won't comment on the subject matter much. I will say, however, that this is much better written. Grammar mistakes are minimal and can easily be attributed to simple overlooking. Whether you've got a better editor or re better at catching your own mistakes, I'm very glad to see the improvements.

Now, for the Organization, Collective, or whatever you plan on calling them. I'm happy to see explained how they managed to get in the castle, though the progression from first day to kidnapping was pretty fast with no build-up. I also question their wisdom of trying to kill Celestia at all, given how powerful she is and necessary for the sun's path through the sky (of course, if they were a cult to Nightmare Moon, that'd make more sense). Lastly, how'd they know where Sunny was sleeping? Was the tunnel the result of them just trying to sneak into the palace, or did they somehow know that Sunny'd be there? How'd they organize their plan so quickly? It's been less than a day since Sunny was introduced to the nobles, and even the swiftest of evil societies need to plan things out a bit. Even then, how did they find out about Sunny so quickly? Are the nobles part of their group? It'd make sense, but I hope to see it explained sometime.

Now, I know how you write by now. I'm sure you're going to explain these eventually. If you haven't given these questions any thought, then let them guide you while you flesh out the Organization in your notes. If you have given them thought, then keep on keeping on, and I'll be waiting with baited breath.

Until then, I look forward to reading more, and I wish you luck in this and all your future endeavors :twilightsmile:.

awwww I don't really want Celestia to loose her daughter. I feel like that is my certain weakness that I have with such storys, for me her old mother is somehow interrupting the bond she has with celestia.

I admit for me it needs a bit to get used to the idea of the new magic. Not sure if it was the fact that they needed to scream the name, or if I just remembered an odd show while reading this. sometimes I feel like I like the same idea more, and sometimes less.

Well overall you have done a good job and I guess the best thing that could happen would be that Celestia would marry her mother, or Sunny would stay with Celestia and jus visit her old mother sometimes.

I like it that it seems like you would finally take it slower with the story, even if you maybe used the hospital scene for that.

7174069
You only need to say the incantation on the more powerful spells (with enough practice, you can avoid having to say it all together, though the highest tier of spells require you say it regardless, practice or no.)

Don't worry, Geia (Reveal if you want the name of the mystery alicorn) won't appear physically until much later into the story, so no need to worry about it.

Anyways, I'm glad that you enjoy the story. May you have a good weekend! :twilightsmile:

Awesome an update! Nice chapter, looking forward to the next one :pinkiehappy:

So basically the three items that were in her dream/memory is like the triforce from the Legend of Zelda

7251206 Umm, I didn't even realize that connection until you pointed it out :twilightblush:

Damn, just when it was getting good. Still hard to tell what the plot is though.

7254626 I don't plan to reveal that until late Act 1 or early Act 2.
Feel free to guess though.

My friend, I'm so glad to finally have time to read this. Sorry it's taken me forever to get to this; life's been very busy these past few months. My schedule has just cleared up, so expect a review for each chapter over the next few days. I'll keep this one informal, unlike my other reviews.

You've certainly integrated Sunny's past far better in this story than your previous one. I can follow rather well what's going on, and the time-stamps certainly help with that. I do have a few issues, though.

I really don't think Celestia would make Sunny's kidnapping public like that. It's really something you don't want to bring to light unless you really have to, even if it's only to a seamstress and her daughter.

“Remember, you can use this technique to get out of any fall unscaved.”

I believe the word you're looking for is unscathed.

Other than that, this was a good read, and I look forward to reading and reviewing the next two.

7636571 I'm glad that you like it :twilightsmile:

Edit: Also, Thank you for the Fav.

7136848
Sorry that it took so long to respond, but I decided to do a word of god on your question as I can't figure out where to place the answers. Anyways, they found out about her by pure accident as they were trying to get to Celestia's room while she was asleep, forcing them to change their plans.

7753244 Yeah, that makes sense. I don't mind the meta-knowledge answer, though. As long as you gave it the thought.

8783689
Thanks for the Comment! Sadly I’ve been having a small case of Writer’s Block recently with this story. However, I do have a collaboration that I’m writing with a bunch of other people. Hopefully, I should have a few chapters ready to upload soonish.

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