7292984 jeez you read fast.

7292993

did u ever get an editor to fix the prequel to this

Actually, you post fast, I had just finished one chapter, only for you to post 3 more!

7293004 I have a team but do to IRL issues in my end I am unable to get it edited right now

7293008 a high cost for those involved

7293021 its fiase I got them up and set up Tue. Went down and pressed publish on them all

7293028

k

i dont think i can read it yet bcuz i'll b cringing all the way thru it

i will read it tho

7293042 o do apologize for that but as soon as the issues are dealt with I'll be relaising my team onto the stories to fix my mess

7293125 Sheesh, everyone's a critic.....

Thanks for a great read! This is/was awesome ride.

7293212 you are most welcome. I already have the sequel up of you want to read it.

7293047

k

Well ill be cursing myself in the morning. Was about two am when i started and now it is 2:50 am. I really need to start sleeping.

GOOD NIGHT!

Loved it. A wonderful conclusion. Though i would have loved to see a concept of a bridge between the two equestrias..> That would be awesome, i think. of course it can cause it's own problems too... heh.. plot device hooo!

Either way, i wish i could like this story and favorite it more than once each... sooo good!

Was hoping for an Epilogue wherein Princess Twilight found her world's own Chrysalis and tried to build a bridge between...

Actually, I'd like to see EDF Chrysalis talk with the other Chrysalis.

"Who dare distrubs-"

"Don't f^ck up! She'll burn half your hive with a deranged smile on her face that makes Discord physically ill! Just accept their friendship pigsh!t before they kill the Hive!"

I was kinda expecting at least a couple more conflicts with the purifiers and maybe more in depth into the commander's psyche via one on one time with Luna or her just fully opening up to the princess so that was a bit of a let down to end it so quickly.

And is this the last we hear of the commander or is there perhaps another book in the making? SUBTLE HINT!!! please

7293626 the sequel is already up. I just don't remember how to link it to the other stories.

7293631
Lols it's ok I found it immediately after posting

7293632
wait drunk commander or princess?

7293537 I thought about both CTS and the major relizo g slem.chsngeli f where there and one of them was the queen before talking about jkw much of a bitch the major used to be as they talked to pts Chysailis and the major agreeing before they both punch chrysalis square in the face and tell her to leave.

But o had done a lot already and didn't want to have to much going on

The EDF had a thing about relying on their fellow soldiers regardless of race and the soldiers dealt with the problem soldier on their own.

"Blanket Party" and other forms of corporal punishment.

Holy hell that was good! Discord.......

as one story gets removed from tracking, another gets added. But i'll have to wait seeing how it is now 2:46 AM now and i really should get to sleep. Great story and i can't wait to start the next one.

This was magnificent mate!

Great story man, it was a fun ride. One thing was aj's pistol the same from fallout:equestria?

7294578 basicly yes, it's a refrance to FoE

7293256
Thanks for info! After spending part of night on binge re-reading of this story i can now get started on reading next one. That was..... Unexpected? Pun intended.

7295067 you are most welcome.

Once I figure out how to link them together correctly I'll do that as well so.the stories will be easier to find

7295067 you are most welcome.

Once I figure out how to link them together correctly I'll do that as well so.the stories will be easier to find

7295463 can't say I have ever heard of that as I based equestrian politics of das'damara from the Wheel of Times books

7297793 well since mu editor was back in SoM and had to quit yesterday I can assure you it has not been edited.

It will be as soon as I find a few new editors

7297800 that seems to be a common reaction to that chapter.

7299443 aswas pointed out with the two unicorns who were using magic, it ruins the entire brawl when you do that

And in acture combat she uses guns mostly and telaportstion as well as other spells such as sheilds and magical balsts.

The the has shown though that Twi is forgetful of just what spells she has on hand(so many times she should have just telaported and she didn't)

But yeah in combat she falls back on her training which was from non-magical humans so for the most part she fights like that except for when tactics demand another approach then she uses her spells

Mhmm i loved both storys! 3 days flat to read them both with college and work :D
It was a nice change of pace from the other type of storys i read :D

7301603 good news for you, there is a sequel.

Aw, i seem to have been all wrong with my theory of plans within plans and timelines within timelines. But anyway excellent story!

7310475 glad you enjoyed it.

7312917 think blowing up a city, killing millions and creating the Badlands qualifies as really evil.

as Thor would say. "ANOTHER"

7316492 short story sequel is out just not linked yet

7316503 i'm guessing its one of the stories with "soldier" in the title?

7318038 Soldier and the Unexcpedted is the sequel

7317513
Because we all know how good it is to not use your most powerfull atack from the start right, every vilan ever?

7341057 I know. One of the best songs I've found

exultant story.

7341532 you are a very fast reader.

I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

7352739 cause he is a pretentious nob who would like to rule equestria and he is only a prince in title

Finally got time to finish reading and I have to say whist not matching it's predecessor PaS has still been a wonderful and highly engaging story. I personally adored your usage of 'The Game' as not enough people use it. You did brilliantly my friend and I can't wait to start the next one.

7376342 thank you for reading. And yeah I try to have the books each have slightly different tones and themes so its not just a repeats of the previpise story as that would be borni g. Plus I don't think I can break CTS anymore without her becoming a villian.

And thank you. Its always nice to meet people who are familiar with The Great Game.

I hope you enjoy the other sequels as well.

I already wrote something about the first part, but maybe something about all three main stories I've read so far: It would be great if you find an editor as a future project to clean up the stories. I mean I can read over things like 'officer' instead of 'office'. But when the side sentence contradicts the meaning of the main sentence it becomes sometimes hard to understand.

Also I think sometimes you loose the sence of time when you write: They stood there stunned for 15 minutes (or similar, I did not look up the original sentence). Standing in an awkward position for 15 minutes is a very long time. There is more than one occasion like that which doesn't make sence to me. Furthermore try to be more consistent on words like 'Twilight' (there are two characters called that name) and 'Princess' (There are 4 Characters fitting that name). Sometimes I was a bit confused by that.

Otherwise I enjoyed this story. I especially liked the conflicts between the violent World of the Commander and the peaceful world of Princess Twilight. Also I like the additional background you tell about the Commander. Some more Interlude with Chrysalis would be great I think, to show her struggles a bit more. You also missed some opportunities here and there for some cross-references to the other main stories (this is also valid for 'The Soldier and the Unexpected). It would be more fun to put some additions of that here and there. I hope my critique does not sound to negative. I just wanted to give some tips to improve the story. I'm looking forward to 'The Soldier and The Empress' I will read it when it is finished.