GunslingerWhiteRose
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Looks great so far.
Oh, wait. Gummy's a girl? I thought he was a male. And what of the other pets? Owlowiscious, Winona, Opalescence, Tank, Angel, Philomeena, Peewee, are they humans too?
And I was hoping for Luna's male name to be Prince Artemis. Yes, I know that Artemis is a girl's name, but...
Also, you need to fix up your grammar more. Can you go back and correct your mistakes?
Don't see too much of Dash in a straight ship, Honestly my favorite ship is Rainbow Dash and Big Macintosh. Here's hoping on that slim chance.
Hold on a minute! Let's have Lyra's reaction! You know...
...with hands and everything...
@Nightelf37 I'm actually going through the chapters and scouring out mistakes. I should have all of them out and the new chapter out by this Friday. Hope you're enjoying the fic so far!
So far I like this, a lot. It's nice to see some Rarimac, it's my favorite pairing and I think it needs more love.
755322 Agreed my friend! It has TGE most potential out of all the pairings. But most fans want AppleJackXRarity and BigMacXFluttershy. No offense to tgose ships, it's just, I want variety. A nice hetero couple isn't too much to ask for, right? Plus, Farm boy with fashionista? Thats my relationship right there! And it's working out JUST FINE!
This fic Needs Lyra! You know what I mean! She's gonna have a field day with her hands!
759882 Thanks man!
If you're hungry for more, I got the link to my fanfiction in my profile. The one on fanfiction has up to 19 chapters with 80K words. And eaven with that... I'm at the 1/5th or 1/4th mark in the story. Hope you check it out, and if you do, leave a review, and tell your friends! I need as many readers as possible! 
759796 Lyra will be in the fic. HOWEVER, it will be a long time. She won't make her appearance and tell her side of the story until near the end. If you are patient, you will see many cameos, and if I am pleased with the results, I might put her in sooner! Please do continue following my story! Support is always needed! Thanks!
Good job luna and twilight are almost the same people
770298 ummm... Thanks? Care to explain your meaning???
770898
hope you get what that means
That....how do I explain this.....Oh ok like how you put rarity and big mac in one chapter because they made it a good chapter that is what I mean
English?
Needs more Lyra!
776145 if you are a nice reviewer, then I might bring in Lyra earlier than planned.
778919
Well, if you'll try and look over your work again for errors before submitting it, I'll do that.
...Wait, that's not a nice review, isn't it?
Poor Mac.
Hmmmm... WHO THE HAY IS VENOM MIX?! HE NEVER APPEARED IN THE EPISODES SO WHO IS HE?!
786206 Venom Mix is one of the few OCs. He is mine. But it would be cool if my OC Venom Mix could be canon. Then he could annoy Twilight and teach her a lesson on loving your family, no matter how crazy they are. Point of the matter is, Venom mix is NOT canon, and trust me. You're not the first to think he was an actual canon pony. Hope you continue to read. I shall be posting the new chapter tommorow, depending on my Internet being fixed.
786571 Thanks for explaining it! And i'm currently waiting for the next chapter of your story!
EDIT: Wow. I didn't see the updates.
I wonder if it was a bad idea to post chapters 5-19 in one day?
744784Who`s PeeWee again? I forgot
I SMELL IT!
812815
Peewee is Spike's pet, which he acquired after "Dragon Quest".
Needs MASS corrections. And Bluebelle would be a better name for 63!d Blueblood, don't you think?
You should really fix your grammar and sh*t if you want more readers. I'm only sticking around because it has the ponies turned human.
And why the Furry Confusion by adding horses. While they're like ponies, they have different proportions, so "exactly" is wrong. Have you even seen a horse in your life?
Pardon my rant, but you need to work on this better. Please.
818757 I see. So I did miss something! Thanks for pointing that out. I actually lost the notes I took for that part, they were going to have an impact on the story, but now, for TGE life of me, I can't remember. So I'm going back and taking out that part of the story. And no matter what I do, I can never find the mistakes in my writing when I know something is wrong. It's a bad habit, and because of it, I can't find mistakes easily. If you ever find anything else wrong with this fic, please do tell me. So maybe I can find them!
Did you even watch Sisterhooves Social? Because it seemed to me you didn't. Also, as for thoughts, please make them italics so we know whether it's that or describing events.
827861 I've watched all the episodes actually. It's just my memory. I forget things, almost anything that isn't burned into memory, in a snap. Which is why I'm trying as hard as I can with my fics. But the big thing in here with Fimfiction, is that when I upload a chapter, all the bolds, italics, and underlines disappear, so I have to redo them all over. Needless to say, after the first four chapters, I was tired and from being hunched over for so long... Yeah. So I only do the basics now. If you want to see all the bolds and italics, just click the link to my fanfiction page. Easy. :P btw, I also went back and read my story again. The only mistakes I caught were BigMac/AJ/AB/Beau/Braeburn talk. If that's the mistakes you were hinting at, I'm not changing those. They're there to try and emphasize how the Apples talk. If that's NOT what you were hinting at... Then I better read it all again. Oh well!
More reading time!
Just me or with each chapter are the views going down
Yep deffently dropping.
Meh this isn't to bad but where do the sex and gore come into it
Okay I'm sorry to say this but this is too much of a chore to read and I can't finish it. I shouldn't have to make myself read it, it should make me want to read it, want to live it each and every story has a different style and this one has clashing styles. firstly it's incorrectly tagged from what I can see unless within the next eight chapter you included a sex scene where somebody whips out there dick or some shit the sex tag isn't required and gore what the gore tag represents is this type of fic or cupcakes. Ok and what else here's a great example of a long fic 60 chapters which I didn't plan to read but was made to read as it dragged me into it I Disappeared in it . Look I don't want to bitch you've got a talent! I've spent the last 2 hours reading this and it feels like it's dragging on but I'll say the world is crafted beautifully! Not many fics by new writers have I read and been able to wander around in the world as I've read it. You can craft the world but it feels shallow and bolted together. This universe is great but it feels like your adding and removing characters on a whim I like it because of the amazing world and universe you've created but it feels like the multiplayer of dead island bolted on and rough round the edges. I'm sorry to bitch but I need to say this.
~Belove
834456 Hey. There's nothing wrong with what you said. Everypony is entitled to their opinions/criticism/or whatever they call it. I'm glad to just have somepony read my fic, albeit its not the best one out there. Sex does come in later, and gore was explained in the latest chapter. Gore will take a little while to come, but when it comes, you would be happy, cause I'm merciless. The whole point of the beginning, is to build relationships, and see how all the ponies are holding up all bottled up inside the Palace. Also, I put the sex and gore tags because I want to be safe. They're warnings. I've already thrown a small Gryffin boy off a mountain and tore open his wing. But I digress, it's your choice to or to not read a fic. I won't force you. All I'm doing is just explaining it for you so far. Hope one day you'll come back and pick up where you left off, since I do that sometimes with long fics. Anyway, thanks for the reads so far, and have a nice day!
To tell the truth, the sole honest I kept reading this was because you turned the characters into humans. At first, I was beginning to be unable to continue partly because of
being turned into a dude, then there's still no Lyra (who'd certainly be absolutely thrilled with her hands).
Just as Belove said, it's becoming a chore to read and so I can't finish it. Goodbye.
Big mac, AJ is going to kill you.
834292 you perv!
839195>>834456 What do you mean? This is really easy to read! Seriously, people these days...
845449 Now, now... No need call people out. I don't want anypony to fight with eachother. Though, I do appreciate you defending the story.
845616
Wow, you must be the nicest person in the world. You just take criticism so well! I hope your story turns out just how you want it to!
-Weatherstorm
849036 The key is this. If faced with a problem, ask yourself.. "What Would Fluttershy Do?" Plus, I'm naturally like this. So it's the first thing I think of when faced with criticism. Critics would respect you better if you accept their criticism and try to learn from their words.
Just Read all 20 chapters. Do you have any idea how good the fight scene between Celestia and Lunar is if you read it while listening to 'Up is Down' From the Pirates of the Carribean 3 Soundtrack? Best. Thing. Ever! Also, this story is pretty Darn good. At first I read it because of the title, But I don't really get how it fits. Still, This is a Really awesome Fic. Keep Writing! DON'T YOU DARE STOP!
1054298 It's called the Seventh Element because it refers to the elements of Life, which are like the elements of harmony. Except for the elements of life to work, they need the seventh element. If you got anymore questions, I'll be happy to answer, within reason. Thank you for reading, and I'll try to post the next chapter very soon.
Ah, Okay, It's like magic... Cool
Erk. Sky Light really irritates me. I appreciate his character, but he's just so... Argh!
Other than that minor grating, this story is really good. Loving it!
P.S. Don't let him beat up Rainbow again, please. It really goes against my principles.
This is Australia...
1166312 Sky Light just wants everything back in order. He wants peace and harmony to return. And let's face it. Celestia let's the Elements of Harmony get away with alot of sh
t. Sky Light noticed this and called her out. He can't help but not get angry. He's a good guy, but just stubborn, broken and all around very temperamental.
I've actually been thinking about giving up this fic. I felt as if I wasn't doing a good job, that the standards on FimFiction was too different than FanFiction. I felt as if no pony was reading my fic anymore, that the work of art I have been making wasn't good. That I wasn't good. But your support has got me back on track. I'll write more to make sure my lone fan will be happy. And not just my lone fan, but for myself too. I'll get started on the new chapter right now!!
1194858 Yes! Even If I am the only one reading the story, I am liking it.
And I'm not just saying that. This story is really good. Even if other people Don't think so.
And I wasn't taking Sky Light's past into account, so...
In Life, Happiness is good. I always try to make others Happy. (I also have a bit of a habit of capitalising random words.)
And no, I'm Not a human embodiment of Pinkie Pie. (But that would be kind of cool.)It's just... I do Crazy things, and those Crazy things make people laugh.
Remember what they say in Monty Python. "Always look on the Bright Side of Life!"
Keep up the good work.No you know what? Scratch that. Keep smiling!This is Australia...
EDIT: Wait, how many elements are we up to now? Also, I just noticed, the previous Five posts have Been between just me and you.
1195373 thanks. I really do need somepony supporting me.
Elements? Well... Time to explain. The Elements of Harmony ate the embodiment of friendship. The elements of life are all about the embodiment of the joy of life. Just like the elements of harmony, to truly enjoy life, you need honesty, loyalty, kindness, generosity and laughter. But to make those possible, you need a little magic. Those are the elements of Harmony.
However, like the elements of Harmony, the elements of Life require the seventh element. The seventh element is a combination between all of the elements of harmony. Can you think of the one thing that is a combination between them all? If you do, then kudos to you. If not, then it's ok. But along in life, not only will good things happen to you, but so will bad things. Which comes to the seven elements of death. Or Seven Deadly Sins.
Each holder of these elements will have to grow not only physically, but also emotionally. Only then, will their true powers be unleashed.
Did I just ramble?
1196292 No you weren't rambling, that was actually really helpful, Seeing the developments in the characters is really interesting.
Also, I just re-read the entire story. Some comments:
I really like the character of Glenn. I just Love what you've Created with him. Also, I really like how You've developed the character of Gilda. Many stories I've read keep Gilda as a snob, and just generally uncool. But in your story, Gilda and Glenn seem like the cool Aunt and Uncle that everyone wishes they have.
Watching the development of Pinkie is really interesting. We all know what her personality is, and now I understand why she's changed, But it still seems very abrupt. I realise that there are huge periods of time that pass when we dont see her, but she still seems to be changing very rapidly.
One part that I think You've done reslly well is the scenes leading up to and including Granny Smith's death. You seem to have portrayed them perfectly, which is a rarity in fanfics. I really like how you tell her life story, and expose her 'smoothness' when interrogating Rarity.
Related, I really liked the fight scene between Applebloom and Diamond Tiara, And how Applebloom got away with it. That was really cool
Also, is Dark Night to Lunar what Nightmare Moon is to Luna? Or is it slightly different? I didn't quite understand that.
You Know the best part of being the only reader of this story? I can finally say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I am the Number One Fan of something. Not many people can actually say that.
By the way, sorry for not replying for ages, but I've had computer problems. Also, I'm in Year 12 and the HSC is coming up, so my comments may start to get intermittent and short. Don't panic! I will still be reading!
By the way, just out of interest, What country do you live in? You don't have to say if you don't want to. I live in Australia.
Your Number One Fan
-Tim
This is Australia...
1. I have read stories like that too! I felt as if Gilda was just a child in the show, and that she needed a wake up call. That not everything is meant to be cool or uncool. And the fact that I created Glenn for her, I gave her a shot at being happy while learning that the meaning of life isnt about being cool, it's finding that one person who changes you for the better.
tch. So for my personal amusement, I had Apple Bloom kick her ass.
2. Dont worry, I'll get more into that.
3. Yeah. I love Granny Smith. She's the old lady I want to be when I'm old. Which is why I killed her off early. I'm sparing her. :(
4. Yeah. I don't like Diamond Tiara. She's a b
5. The whole Lunar/Dark Night thing is like Luna/Nightmare Moon except in male version. Plus, I see guys as physically stronger than girls, so I see them as alot stronger than their female counterparts. I really get into it in the story. So you'll have to wait.
6. It's awesome! I finally have a #1 fan! :starryeyed: I know how you feel man. I'm in my senior year in highschool as well. By the way, it's the United States. I'm an AhmerikCAN!
1231955
Where are you?! Are you there?! Apologies for not saying anything in weeks, but I was looking through my old favorites, and I found this. your tone in your last post suggests that you have more written, or at least more ideas. I would love it if you posted more. This is a good story, and I miss it.
This is Australia...