I was just going through my normal day and the next thing I know I'm being summoned to another dimension like I'm the great Beelzebub himself. I don't know where the hell I am or what these horse things are but I'll be damned if I get killed by one of them.
Who knows, maybe this purple horse thing will figure out how to send me back without killing me in the process. I won't hold my breath though.
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This is a Human in Equestria fic. If there is anything that comes up that needs to be warned about I'll let you guys know in the description.
Probably not going to be a clopfic, but if it does I'll make the appropriate modifications to the descriptions and add the necessary tags.
Chapters (5)
Totally ethical research, pulling beings from their home world against their will.
7037027 I know right? LOL
dunno, i have bad feelings about twi (too ooc), but awesome start ... i love it
7037210 She's had a pretty flagrant disregard for non ponies in the past, especially when it comes to magical experiments. Remember the frogs she transfigured into oranges?
She also has a tendency to use magic on others when she's stressed (Want it need it spell)
So, at least in my opinion, something like this isn't really out of character for her.
Thanks for the compliment though!
Well it is in the name of science and remember that old science model we do what we must because we can
7037240 It is OOC for a Twilight of season 5, though.
7037425 Not really. Sure she's improved quite a bit on how to be a friend and what not, but I could still see her trying to make advancements in magic and making some mistakes along the way. This is a pretty big one, but she'll learn from it.
ok now im good with this one, awesome job so far, i love the easy going human and so far i feel your style clear and fun to read so... you got me
7037448 we'll see.
Kinda OOC there...
RD has gotten really tamed this late into the show...she is no longer as brash and agressive as during the early days.
Though, this might not be an attack and more of a thoughtless action.
7037990 Rainbow didn't mean to crack his ribs like that, plus she over compensated because of how tall he is compared to them. For a normal pony that would of been an aggressive tackle but nothing more, but to a human its darn near fatal. You gotta take into account the vast difference in ability and durability there is between ponies and humans.
7038029 ok then.
while we talk about durability....don't do the stupid hollow bone theory for pegasi...they fly with magicz...hollow bone only make them less durable for no reason.
No, she's just been abducting, murdering and stranding people in an infinite void. This is not a darkfic how, exactly?
Well, I suppose that's why. An Applejack with actual common sense, now there's a new one.
Coughing blood means a rib punctured the lung, so... yeah.
7047323 I think there is a degree of malicious intent that needs to be there for a dark fic qualifier. Twi certainly isn't in the right by any stretch, but she was doing it out of pure curiosity than anything else. To the beings she ripped out of the dimension and didn't have a successful trip however that would be a hard sale to pitch.
7047477
Yeah, it becomes more apparent in the later chapters. I was commenting on that as I read it. Personally, I think apathy is where real evil comes from, but since that's clearly not what the story is meant to be about, don't mind me there too much.
7047787 No problemo! I completely agree with the apathy thing though,
7048064
One thing I really enjoy about this so far is how sensible everyone except Twilight is acting about the whole thing. The entire "what the fuck is wrong with you?" reaction actually feels like how a real person would react to seeing one of their friends do something this crazy and thoughtless. I'd very much enjoy it if that stayed a thing, with everyone continually expressing their disappointment at Twilight over the whole situation.
I think I´m going to stick to the story for a while, but I´m already getting sort of angry with Twilight for what she is doing, and once again doesn´t have any problem with it.
This is a bit similar to another story where Twilight was in the Human world after Humans and Ponys could travel to bth worlds, and the there was the friend of the guy, and Twilight. Twilight was turning him into a dog against his will, was doing other stuff against his will, and everyone thought Twilight was the nice person in that story and the Human just an asshole.
What I want to say with that, if she is going to stick to that, I hope she is kind of getting her leture by Celestia or notice her mistake before it really turns out like in that story. I just say it like that to prevent exactly that to happen. I don´t mean that you have to listen to that.
Okay this chapter probably fixed any problem that I had with the last chapter.
If I remember it right you wanted to decide if you add clop later or something like that right? Well since I already can see how they are reacting around that kind of thing, I hope that you can at least avoid, to make them dissapointed about the matter of his size, or stuff like that.
It isn´t really important to me, but I already saw some reasons why the Stallions in Equestria, or some versions of Equestria, doesn´t have to be at the "normal" size, since they are already smaller than normal Horses, and stuff like that.
What I´m really interessted in, is that they don´t make him look like an poor little thing, idiot or whatever.
Maybe you should just avoid to mention that part at all, it already worked pretty fine in some storys.
You sort of really bring this type of personality out in a nice way. One of the rare times when I don´t really mind them and actually kind of enjoy it.
Is he showing them off right now?
I´m glad for no scene where Rarity would have said "Well I know why you want to hide it, because it´s kind of small or something like that", I already said that it would be exactly my kind of joke, since I don´t want him to be an complete wimp.
I know there is more or less enough proof for that to actually work this fast for her, but I like it if she actually needs a bit more time, but then again I don´t know how fast a skilled person can make some clothes.
Okay I don´t know how to feel about him being that type of Human "in Equestria", that is going to nearly die because of such a thing.
I mean I don´t think she started to speed up from far away, and chrash through the window, and keep pressing against him till they actually made contact with the floor. What I mean is, maybe it was even a bit overreacting how much damage she did, from where and how fast she probably was right now.
I don´t say a real Human can endure much more damage, but it seems a bit overdone to me. I mean yes I don´t know his body build, but I still don´t know about that.
I kind of already see someone clapping him on the back in a friendly manner, and maybe even brake some bones in the progress. Even if that should be real, and I like it if some stuff is more real or if they have some common sense like in this story, but there is still stuff that maybe could pretty much be ignored.
At least he wouldn´t have been made that.....(I forgot a word again)
I like this story, the second chapter made everything better and only the third chapter showed one little problem for me again.
hmmmmm....................I have no idea what to say...here's a vid
Twilight is a bleepin monster! Abduction and murder are no small crimes. And as a physics student myself, I would like to say that even for science these things are still highly unethical. It even makes it worse, because it was intentional and she can't claim emotions spurred her actions.
Sorry for the rant, but this really rubs me the wrong way.
7049483 I'm going to find a way to work that dance into the story. Holy cow that dude got moves.
7049596
Here's another of his that I like.
7049591 You aren't alone; even within the confines of the story.
I would contest that she isn't evil, even with what she did. Evil implies malicious intent. She was reckless and most assuredly should pay for her actions, but not evil.
I'd place her in the same boat as Starswirl, who thought it was a good idea to banish enemies of his into another dimension without any regard for the inhabitants well being. I'd say that wasn't all that ethical either, and Twilght looks up to the stallion as an idol.
I still kind of feel like this was overdone a little bit.
Well that´s one way to make a compromise. I´m probably okay with it.
I´m always saying, if it is written in the right way, then I can like it too.
7049596 hhhhmmmmm well why not, but sometimes it seems somehow odd how they always have the Human dancing as the No.1 dancer at the party. Maybe he should just try that dance if he thinks no one is looking, at least that would be a different way for that kind of thing. Even if that is how Equestria seems to be, sometimes it seems as strange, as if he would run out of the room across Ponyille, singing about his wounds that are healed and after that he would just get something to eat.
The dance wasn´t bad, I like rhytmic dancing stuff, but there were also some moves that I didn´t liked.
Well nice story I really like it so far, especially since it looks some of the other storys I´m keeping track of are starting to die (no updates) again. I noticed you have two active storys and that is fine, I just hope you don´t make the same mistake as some other people, and start four or five storys at once. I mean I get the feeling that is the reason why I haven´t gotten any new chapters from certain people, one is even that slow, that he has a years old story with no updates.
I just don´t like it that that certain author makes so many storys that he can´t keep up with any story he started.
7049675
The strength gap between humans and ponies is massive, plus you have to take into consideration their bodies are highly malleable and subject to cartoon physics. The point is there is an inherent danger living in a world where the rules your body is built for simply do not apply. Imagine for a moment if you were in a Tom and Jerry chase scene, but your body reacted to those injuries realistically instead of the way it happens it happens to that cat and mouse. More than likely you wouldn't even last two minutes because the things that happen to those characters are so extreme our bodies couldn't handle it.
A human in a world of cartoon physics is a highly dangerous prospect, even if the locals are friendly.
If you keep writing them like this, this story is gonna be taking a spot of honor on my "characters who actually behave like people rather than caricatures" list along with "What I've Done" soon. It feels like he should have been a bit more upset about almost dying, though. It was an honest accident, but I always kind of dislike human martyr characters who just forgive any and all abuse that gets dished out to them. Maybe they can find a way for Rainbow to make it up to him somehow. Bit of a sense of guilt. Almost killing someone is pretty hard to get over, for both sides.
7049591
Chemist here. High five, science bro! Yeah, the ethics committee would have a field day with this.
I believe it was Socrates who said that "evil" mean knowing the difference between right and wrong, but choosing to do the wrong thing anyway. Monstrous, yes, but Twilight strikes me as the type who is genuinely far enough removed from reality that she didn't comprehend at the time that what she did wasn't right.
7049818 Daww! Thanks! That's a big compliment. Characterization is very important for me. An interesting premise with poor characterization is just doomed to fail, but you could write a scene about making toast interesting if the characterization is up to snuff.
7047348 Blasphemy! AJ has no common sense. Background ponies aren't ponies.
7049810 Well I understand that much, then again I only can see it as a story, and that there would be no need to follow any rules like those you just described to me.
Instead of a Human that would be nearly killed from anything, he could have already come to Equestria in that state, which Twilight gave him with her Magic. I´m just saying there are storys, where the Human still get´s hurt from that, but doesn´t have to nearly die from that allone already, and those often doesn´t look that much less realistic.
However like I probably already said, I don´t know how you view your characters, your Equestria and whatever else.
I don´t exactly completely see it like in that movie "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" and where the characters are kinda like rubber.
Before I look like I wanted to lecture you or something, I think I can accept it like that and I want to read your story, I just hope he doesn´t look like a wimp, or somehow that Apllejack has to care for in order that the poor little Human doesn´t die in their world
I just hope that you know what I mean, and how I wouldn´t exactly like to see him.
He doesn´t need to be so special, but even with those rules you want to have in your story, I´m not sure if she would made that much damage. I mean you haven´t even described her destroying any ......
aaaaahhhhhh That way it s far mor easier to believe. Okay I don´t say anything anymore, that way she would have had the time to speed up, and crash into him with a speed that could brake some bones without any armor for him.
I only thought she attacked in the store, and that way I didn´t saw how she could have gotten enough speed to do that.
I guess it really was only to late yesterday, I totally missed the part where Rainbow hurt him outside.
I maybe still don´t agree with that it "has" to be that way, but now I can finally understand it and go with a good feeling for this story.
Like I already said, I like the personality your characters have shown so far, and with the spell he is at least a bit more cartoon material if I understood it right.
7049979
Well, I did say "that's a new one."
7050031
Shift+# makes '. Please start using it instead of ´. Sorry, it's just something that has been bothering me for weeks whenever I see you comment on something.
7050109 That's quite alright, I didn´t even knew how it worked, but that is probably that is something I wanted to know anyway, I just wasn't interessted enough to ask about it.
I learn better If someone is correcting me like that after my comment is made anyway, at least I think that way it works better for me.
Clearly he hasn't encountered lyre-butt yet.
two.
I'm guessing that or you're a too-frequent Youtube user
, so here's a list of proper usage :
To: I'm going TO the store. I'm going TO hit you with this water balloon. This is going TO Hell in a hand basket real fast!
Too: This is TOO much for me to handle! I'm...TOO sexy for my shirt! You like Ponies?! Me TOO!
Two: Today's episode is brought to you by the number TWO. TWO girls, one- . Gears of War TWO.
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Rainbow Bitch to the rescue!
7050467 Homonyms and I don't get along too well lol. Thanks for that though -- sometimes its hard to spot your own errors when you see what you think is supposed to be there instead of what actually is.
given rules of multiverse how do we know she hasn't murdered a prince or other nobility of a world with magic... also good thing she didn't pull any of the predicted risks you know- elder gods, mad gods, royalty or soldiers capable to open gate home or start a purge against them, grey goo, sentient bacteria or virus, evil/hostile super powered individuals.... sentient planetoids or galactus.
princess or not shouldn't she get prison time (if the nations new easy enough to declare war for what she's been doing) also 1000's time bond seems like effectively massive gravity increase / compression to every cell + chance to forcibly mutate them into behaving that way normally if exposed to that for a bit. also cant help but think that will be an issue shortly as that should compress the body a bit unless its also causing mass cell acceleration to get number needed to not change size of organs or body by compressing them closer together. either way that might effect either the natural number human cells to other inhabitants in the body, and possibly cause issues to internal organs like the brain
7050811 She really didn't think of the Concequenses, but you best believe Celestia is all too aware of the kinds of things her faithful student could of started. Its part of the reason she is personally overseeing her efforts to rectify her mistakes.
As for Prison time, Equestrian Law is pretty lenient on the elements of harmony. Dash sabotaged a government complex just because she didn't want her pet to hibernate, something that would of certainly got her thrown in jail in our world if not worse. If it were anpony besides Twilight, Celestia would be doing a lot worse than reprimanding her and watching her efforts like a hawk.
As for increasing his mass. Magic has no mass, its a very malleable and buoyant type of energy. Its a field of energy around each of his cells that constantly needs to be replenished, part of the reason why he needs an anchor to maintain it. Essentially he's siphoning off magic from Applejack to maintain the state. His entire body in effect is constantly holding magic as if he were a magical being like ponies, even though he is a non magic organism.
To the question if this has consequences for later....we'll see
In other chases I would probably already be wary about some of the scenes, but I can´t stop saying that you really write those scenes between Applejack and him pretty well. I actually feel like this is a normal friendly talk and not completely perverted.
What I mean is, I think there is one way to say such stuff while joing about it, and probably the creepy way to do it. I guess that is as close as I can explain that tonight. I always say my mind doesn´t works the best in the Night, but that is when I usually start to read on this side.
Not sure if Applejack is already starting to like him a bit more than it would be normal for just friends, or if she was just joking with saying he would be up to something. Without the expressions on their faces it is a bit hard for me to tell if she was serious or not.
Normally I would ask for a slow paced romance, but this time I wouldn´t really be agains it if Applejack would ask him for a date, or if they just accidently would make a quite Evening a date without even to notice it.
I don´t expect this story to really get that many updates always as fast as it is getting them right now, but I hope this isn´t going to go completely still for a whole month like many of the other storys I have at the moment.
7050991
I haven´t really tried to understand everything completely in that comment, but it sounds a little bit like he maybe would only start to like her because of "Magic", I hope there is nothing like that in this story. I have seen much like that already, that is why I´m so quick to mention it.
Bro great story make this shit into more chapters!!!! I love this shit and whatch out for my story your gonnna love it!!! And for reals you'll like it cuz we think the same !!!!
7051209
No. I prefer characterization to contrivance. Making him like her because of a contrivance like 'cause magic' would be annoying at best and a cop out at worst. The consequences I'm talking about are removed from the romance, though I don't want to reveal it cause it would enter spoiler territory.
Great fucking chapter!!! And oh ze romance!!!!!
Bit rushed, maybe. You don't really start hitting on a weird horsie alien you've only known for maybe half a day, if that.
Oh god i cant wait for the next chapter!!!! Fuck yah!!!!
7051501 Have faith my brother, I've got plans for days lol.