Ponyville's Latest "Threat"

by NameGoesHere

Chapter 2

An awkward silence filled walk later, they sat at a nice little table in a lovely garden behind Twilight’s magnificent castle. All of these nouns were incredibly worthy of their respective adjectives, and so equally worthy of Seafood’s attention and perhaps even amazement. Instead, he just stared at his reflection in the crystalline table as though looking away would mean certain death. Twilight considered the implications of this as she levitated a few varieties of tea and the necessary silverware over from her kitchen, which was also spectacular.

“Do you have any particular preference, Seafood?”

“What? Oh, um… Actually, I think I would prefer not to have tea.” Seafood replied, reluctantly looking up.

The eyebrow raise made its triumphant return here. “Is that what you were trying to say on our way over here?”

“Y-you could tell?”

“Yes, a dear friend of mine is similarly reticent. I’ve learned to pick up the cues when somepony is working up the courage to speak. Would you prefer coffee instead?”

“Um, y-yeah, that sounds nice.”

“Excellent, the caffeine would probably do me some good, too. In fact…” She trailed off.

At this point, Seafood noticed that his host’s movements were indeed rather sluggish. He tried to recall if she had been like that earlier while he resumed his staring. He found, however, that it just didn’t have the same thrill as before, and so he looked up- only to see her focusing intensely (or as close to intensely as was possible for the increasingly exhausted princess) on a medium sized rectangular box covered in an odd assortment of locks. “Um, what’s that?”

“This is perhaps my greatest creation. I’ve genetically engineered a new breed of coffee bean.” She finished opening the box and pulled out a small bag, from which she in turn pulled out a number a coffee beans. She held them up with her magic and faced Seafood with a triumphant smirk despite her tiredness. “Behold.”

She poured some water into a mug and held the beans over it. Her magical aura around the beans shimmered for a moment, and the beans promptly collapsed into a liquid form in the water. “I bred them to respond to a pony’s magical signature. Upon contact, they dissolve into a form that instantly mixes with the water. The piece de resistance, however, is that they also take some of the energy from the magical signature and use it to produce just the right amount of caffeine for their drinker to be. I’m even working on a way to have it recognize Pegasus and Earth Pony magic, as well.”

At this, Seafood initially looked just the slightest bit depressed, but that expression was almost immediately replaced with one of astonishment. “Wait, that sounds like it breaks the law of conservation of energy. That can’t be right.”

“Oh, but it is. Something I have learned over the years is that many of our scientific laws are in fact mere suggestions in extreme situations.”

“I’m not sure coffee qualifies as an extreme situation. Do I have to drink that?”

“No, of course not. You, much like the world, are not ready. I will drink this while you enjoy a much more stable version of the beverage.”

Her Passion leaving her, Twilight quickly fell back to a near lethargic state, but she still managed to levitate a glass of non physics-defying coffee over to Seafood. With barely uncovered eyes, she raised her mug and took a long drink.

After she lowered her cup, it was as if the entire world froze for just a few seconds, and then the caffeine took effect. Twilight sat up straighter, opened her eyes wider, and developed an ear to ear smile. “AndsuddenlylifeisgoodagainthesunisrisingoveranotherbeautifuldayinthisgreatworldandhereIammakinganewfriendisntitwonderful?”

Seafood was unsurprisingly taken aback by this, but he was getting fairly used to it by this point, and so was particularly determined to recover quickly. Alas, he was not prepared to accomplish this task against a hyper-caffeinated Twilight Sparkle, who gave him only a couple of seconds to process what she said- to say nothing of responding to it- before continuing.

"Yesindeeditstrulywonderfulindeedtobemakinganewfriendlikeyouseafoodevenifwedidmeetunderquitefranklyterriblecircumstanceswasibeingredundantamomentagoiwaswasntinofocustwilightyouhavesomeponywhoneedsyourhelpherehesgoingdownadarkpathandyouneedtosteerhimstraightiprobablyshouldnttalkaboutyouasthoughyouarentherealthoughiguessitdoesntmatterallthatmuchsinceyouprobablycantevenunderstandmespeakingofwhichishouldprobablyslowdown.”

She was right on both counts, of course, but Seafood had no way of knowing this, because of that first count, which is why he was incredibly confused when Twilight put a look of intense concentration on her face. He didn’t know that she was trying to bring herself back down to the level of mortals.

Sounding like she was pulling a grand piano up a mountain, Twilight continued. “Anyway, welcome to my home, Seafood. It goes without saying that we got off on the wrong hoof. I apologize once more for my earlier rudeness. Would you like to tell me a little bit about yourself?”

The tone in her voice put Seafood off, but as suggested, he was now used to the sensation and was able to respond even so. “Um… uh… sure?”

For a certain given value of ‘respond.’

Twilight smiled again, and this one actually looked comforting. “Great!”

Seafood’s hopes that she might begin talking at length again were dashed when she didn’t continue. “Um… is there anything in particular you’d like to know?”

“Well, if you don’t mind my asking, why did you react so strongly earlier?”

Seafood seemed to slump in his seat in response. “I… I’m just a big old crybaby.”

“No, no. That’s not it. You’re sensitive about something I said, but if you were simply a crybaby, I suspect you’d have broken down well before you actually did, to say nothing of the courage, however misplaced, it must have takentocreatealasercannonandaimatthehomeofaprincessthenagainyoudidntseemtoknowwhoiamsomaybeohwaitimtalkingtoquicklyagain-“

“Wait!” Seafood surprised himself as much as Twilight by actually interjecting, so much so that he forgot what he wanted to say next. “Uhh…”

“See! You were able to interrupt a rambling royal at her own house. Now could a crybaby do that?”

“I- I guess not?”

“Great! Now, please, tell me the real reason. I promise I won’t judge you.”

Seafood knew where the conversation was going and didn’t like it. He also knew that he couldn’t stop it, but he was still going to pull out every lost stop in trying to. He started by draining his heretofore ignored mug of coffee and politely requesting a refill.

Twilight wasn’t fooled, but she complied regardless. Seafood took advantage of her momentary distraction to formulate his next plan of attack. “Oh! I remembered what I was trying to say earlier. Did I hear you say ‘laser’ in that last… whatever you call that?”

“Um…” Twilight racked her brain, recalling her previous coffee-fueled bout of motor mouth. “Yes, I believe I did. I was talking about how it must have taken a lot of wrongly applied courage to build a laser cannon and aim it at my home.”

“How did you know it was a laser cannon? I designed it to look like a traditional gunpowder cannon rather than your stereotypical laser weapon.”

“Ah, well, when using my magic on anything, I’m able to feel it as though I’m touching it with my hooves, except it’s the entire object I’m feeling, not just a single part. When I transported your cannon to that alternate dimension I felt all of its inner wiring, from which I could discern its true nature. Though, now that you mention it, why did you build it in disguise? And I must add that I’m very impressed with myself for keeping everything I’ve said just now understandable.”

“Uhh… why did you take out that clipboard and ask me those questions?”

It was a testament to how well Twilight’s coffee was working that she wasn’t the slightest bit annoyed, despite seeing full well what Seafood was doing, but even so, she wasn’t going to let him keep getting away with it. “How about this? I’ll tell you what the purpose of that was if you tell me the real reason you reacted so strongly.”

Seafood knew he’d been bested. “…I don’t have any magic.”

“What? That’s-“

“Not possible? Oh, but I wish that were true. It wasn’t very obvious at first, being a family of earth ponies and all, but when I started getting exhausted from the farm work hours before everyone else despite my being no less physically healthy than them, it became obvious that something wasn’t right. So, mom and dad took me to a doctor and, guess what, no magic! Itwasntsobadimeanmyfamilysnottheprejudicedsortsotheydidntreallytreatmeanyworsetheyevenarrangedformetogotoatradeschoolwhereihonedmynaturalengineeringtalentsandthatwasnicebutyouknowwhenyoulackanearlyessentialabilitythattheentirerestofthecountryhasitkindofwearsonyousoistillfeltlikeanoutcastandactedaccordinglyandthatswhenoopsimtalkinglikeyouwereearliersorryiveneveropenedupaboutthisbeforeheitsactuallykindoffunbutishouldslowdownyouprobablycantunderstandwhatimsaying.” He ended his spiel with a gigantic gulp of air.

“No, I actually read all of that pretty loud and clear. I guess the coffee has more effects than I realized. “Anyway… I’m sorry to hear you had to go through that. I don’t suppose there’s anyway I could help you, is there?”

“Thank you, but no. The doctors tried everything, but… yada yada yada.” His tone shifted from that of one forcing himself to speak to one of extreme bitterness.

“Well, you have my sympathies.” He grew a weak yet genuine smile “…I’m sorry, but I don’t quite understand how this leads you to attempting to destroy Ponyville.”

He now shifted to resignation. “Alright, but when I tell you, please don’t react too harshly.” She nodded cautiously. “I have some friends, met them not long after graduating. They… uh, they put me up to this.”

“They had you dress up like King Sombra’s rejected disciple and try to destroy my home?”

“Well, yeah, but-“

Twilight stood up. “Seafood, I understand you may still have loyalty to these ponies, but you must realize that I cannot allow them to get away with this. Would you please tell me where I could find them and accompany me while I apprehend them?”

Seafood considered this for a while; he was reluctant, but suspected she’d be able to find them with or without his help. “If I do, do you promise not to hurt them?”

“If that is what you wish, then I won’t use any more force than is absolutely necessary.”

He gulped. “Then, alright, I’ll tell you where to find them.”

Author's Note:

First of all, thank you very much for reading this far. I hope you've enjoyed it, but even if not, thank you for sticking with it.

I plan to have one more chapter for this story, but I thought it best to get some feedback before finishing. If you have any questions about certain events, concerns about my writing style, mechanical corrections to make, or criticisms of any other sort, please don't hesitate to voice them. I'm sure this story and my writing abilities are far from perfect, and I want very much to improve.

Lastly, if you're wondering just where the heck the name "Seafood Dinner" comes from, I'll explain that in the notes for the next chapter, though if you watch a certain webseries, you might already know.

Anyway, thanks again for reading!

Comments

[Blondlionblaster]

This was good The only problem is that seafood pic you have is making me hungry.

[NameGoesHere]

7036841
Well, I hope you find something delicious to sate your hunger.
And thanks, I'm glad you liked it.

[Blondlionblaster]

7036881 Welcome. I'm gonna eat popcorn shrimp.

[sevenofeleven]

Is that a paella?
It looks pretty good except for the mussles.

[Vertigo22]

This review is brought to you on behalf of the group: Authors Helping Authors

Name of the story: Ponyville's latest "threat"

Grammar score out of 10: 8 (I noticed a few errors, but it was generally great.)

Pros:

Surprisingly interesting story. I'm interested in seeing how it ends.

Very funny.

Well paced... However...

Cons:

That said, pacing in chapter 2 felt rather rushed.

I feel you went overboard with the motor mouth moments.

The short length of the chapters left me really wanting more.

Notes Section:

Okay, I'll admit, I'm new to reviewing stories. I'm more used to giving reviews on movies. So if this review is a bit lacking, sorry!

For starters, the pacing in chapter 2 I feel suffered from the overuse of the motor mouth moments. Once was fun, but the other two times felt unnecessary. Especially with Seafood Dinner explaining his back story (reading it was made rather annoying). However, that's just me.

As for the chapters length... I feel that's 50-50. On one hand, I do enjoy that they're brisk and don't overstay their welcome. On the downside, I'm left feeling like there's missed potential to give Seafood Dinner more development. Perhaps even some emotional moments.

On the upside however, I laughed quite a bit. The initial interaction between Seafood and Twilight was great and I do want to see how this story ends.

Overall: I'd say most of my complaints come from the second chapter. If this review isn't what you'd hoped for, it's the first time I've taken the time to review a fanfic. So, again, sorry. That said, good job. A little rough around the edges though.

[NameGoesHere]

7050271
Hey, don't worry about it. This is actually more or less exactly what I was hoping for, so thanks a bunch. I really appreciate the feedback.