Planeswalkers

by CoastBrumby

Chapter Four

Twilight Sparkle and Spike emerged from the portal. Twilight felt disoriented as she always did after exiting the portal. Her body had been changed by magic, but she didn’t know how. She was a little surprise when she saw Spike. “Spike, you’re still a baby dragon. You haven’t changed at all. Do you feel any different?”

Spike nodded. “I have a powerful craving for jade salad.” He replied.

“That’s not really different for you. You’re always hungry for jewels. How do I look? I’m human, and I am wearing different clothes from Canterlot high. I’m glad about that. I was a bit concerned Discord’s programing would have me emerge as a naked human. One, humans have a lot of emotional issues with the sight of an unclothed human. Two, it is harder than you think to find clothes that are both practical and flattering. The human female body is very curvy.” Twilight said.

“I think your clothes are more than flattering. You look gorgeous. Your robe and green cape make you look mysterious and powerful. The gold sash ads regality while the socks and shoes are just like those you wear at Canterlot high. Wish I had a camera. I bet the Rarities in both worlds would love to see you like this. You should check in that backpack you are wearing. There could be a camera in there.” Spike said.

Twilight removed the backpack that had been given to her by the magic of the mirror. She looked inside. “Let’s see. There’s a water bottle filled with water, a small pocket knife, a kit for handling cuts and scrapes, a notepad and pen, and some food.” Twilight said. She took a bight out of what seemed like cake. “It’s good. It’s very rich. Here, try a piece, Spike.”

Spike ate a piece of the caky bread. “Tasty. My craving for gems is satisfied. And after only a nibble. I can hardly believe it. Is there a spell on it?”

Twilight shook her head. Her long hair flowed about her shoulders glamorously. “No, I can’t sense any magic from the food. I think it is just well made.” Twilight returned the cake and supplies to the backpack. “It’s funny. I shouldn’t be able to sense magic without my horn, but I feel it all around me.” Twilight looked at her hands. They glowed with a magical light. Twilight point her hands at a nearby stone and levitated it with ease. “I think I can use all the magic I could in this world as we could in Equestria. I’d love to see what I could do, to test my limits and break through, but it is not time to let it go. I want to hold back for the time being. It’s not time for experimenting. It’s time for exploring. Come on, Spike. Let’s find our new ally.”

For the first time since she arrived on the new world, Twilight took in her surroundings. They were in a rocky clearing in deciduous forest. The portal was an invisible part of a large boulder. The clearing might have been a part of some ancient ruins of a long forgotten civilization, but Twilight couldn’t tell for certain. She spotted two paths leading into the woods. One led one way. One led the other. Twilight could not even tell which way was north or south as the sky was overcast with grey menacing clouds. Twilight picked a path at random and began walking.

Spike followed Twilight as they set off down the path. “Do you think the humans will be concerned I’m not wearing any clothes? I don’t really need ‘em because I’m a dragon. I don’t feel the cold, and my scales are hard.”

“Oh, Spike. You are one of the most beautiful creatures I have ever met. I am certain the humans of this world will feel the same way.” Twilight said.

“I hope this new friend we are seeking is this world’s Rarity in that case.” Spike said.

“I just hope we find this friend soon. There’s no telling what sort of damage that demon Ob Nixlix is capable of if left unchallenged for too long. I want to leave this place as soon as possible for other reasons. I don’t know how I know it, but feels like there is some unnatural corrupting presence in this world. Perhaps this is just the way this world is supposed to be. If that’s the case, we really don’t belong here, and we shouldn’t linger.” Twilight said.

Spike began to look around fretfully. “How are we going to find this guy? We just started walking along this path. We could be going away from the place we want to be. The right way could lead us into town. The wrong way could lead us deeper into this forest. I got a feeling this world has worse things than timber wolves.”

“It’s cute that you’re afraid of timber wolves, but they’re no threat to you. They can’t bight with enough force to penetrate your scales, and creatures made of would shouldn’t tangle with creatures who breathe fire hot enough to melt iron in my opinion.” Twilight said.

“I vowed never to use my fire on a living thing.” Spike said sternly.

“Your gentleness is admirable. You really are a noble dragon. Since you are still a dragon, but I am no longer an alicorn, I need your help. If I float you high into the sky, will you take a look around and tell me what you see?” Twilight said.

“I’m here to help after all. Levitate when ready.” Spike replied. Spike began to glow and he rose about fifteen meters above the ground. He surveyed the terrain quickly before Twilight lowered him gently to the ground.

“Did you see anything?” Twilight enquired.

“Yes, I think we are going the right way. There is a town or a city not too far from here. This track leads straight there from what I can tell.” Spike said.

Twilight nodded. “Let’s keep going then. I can’t wait to meet the locals. What sort of things do they like doing? Do they ride around on motorcycles, and play electric guitars like my friends in Canterlot high?”

“The town seemed kind of simple, and I couldn’t make out any people.” Spike increased his pace. “I know you are eager to get some answers. We should move at maximum hike speed.”

Twilight said nothing as she moved quickly behind spike.

Twilight was winded as she emerged from the trail to the edge of the town. She leaned on the side of a wall and then slumped down. She took her water bottle from her backpack and took a big gulp. Feeling a little refreshed, she spoke. “I think we’ve earned a breather.” She passed the bottle to Spike, but he passed it back without drinking.

“Until we find another source of clean water, we should save that for you. Water that would be too tainted for you would prove tasty to me, and I can go a long time without taking a drink.” Spike said.

“Suit yourself, but you needn’t worry. You forget. I still have my magic. I can fill this bottle using any number of spells at my disposal.” Twilight said.

“Yes, but you need to conserve your power for the times you really need it. The time might be now. We have a visitor, and he doesn’t look friendly.” Spike said.

A man was shambling towards Twilight and Spike. The man was wearing torn and dirty clothes. His skin was pale grey and sagging.

Twilight stood up. “Greetings, sir. My name is Twilight Sparkle. I am a magic user from another world, and I am looking for another magic user who travels between worlds. You wouldn’t happen to know anyone like that?”

The man said nothing. He shambled closer. Twilight wrinkled her nose in disgust. The man came close enough to touch Twilight. “Sir, I do not know the customs of this world, but I appreciate my personal space.” She said.
The man embraced Twilight. He opened his mouth to reveal ugly rotten teeth. Twilight screamed as he moved to bite her.

The man’s eyes glowed blue. He released Twilight and walked away.
Twilight breathed a sigh of relief.

“What a weirdo.” Spike retorted.

“Zombies have simple minds. Changing their behaviour is as easy as flicking a switch. They are far from the strangest thing on the plane of Innestrad.” A man’s voice said from behind Spike.

Spike and Twilight turned to see a man in a large blue hood approaching them. His voice was soothing and clear. He sounded young, but wise beyond his years. “Forgive me if you were studying the creature. I can tell you could have handled it with ease, but you screamed, and my instinct is to render assistance. I was in terrible war not too long ago.” The man lowered his hood. He was handsome. He had brown hair and piercing blue eyes. “Jace Beleren at your service. Be they friend or foe, there is always pleasure when two planeswalkers meet.

“Twilight Sparkle at your service. The pleasure is all mine. I am certain you are the one we came to this world to find”
Jace placed is right hand on his temple. There was a glimmer in his eyes. “I know I am.”

Author's Note:

Jace Beleren is one of my favourite planeswalkers because I bought a Jace vs Vraska deck when I was just starting playing.

Comments

[TailsTales]

Where's Chapter Three?

[FanOfMostEverything]

Do note that it's spelled Ob Nixilis.

[CoastBrumby]

7036246 It's an alien name. Spelling is flexible, but I might change it. It's a clunky name. That's why I call him simple Ob in many sentences.

[icecreammac]

7037607

It's an alien name. Spelling is flexible, but I might change it.

No, it's not flexible. His name is Ob Nixilis. Not Nixlix. Not Nixilix. Nixilis. Just like the plane is Innistrad, and Twilight's sister-in-law is Princess Cadance (though I kinda understand that last one).

Editing is tedious, and I am often impatient to publish. If this were something I was publishing for money, I would have gone over it several more times as well as engaging outside assistance.

That's not gonna do you any favors. Whether or not it's for money, you should take pride and edit your own work before publishing it, if not for yourself and your readers, then at least because it's in the site rules. There were many spelling and grammar errors, the worse mistake being misspelling the word bite. It's bite, not bight.

Author's Note:

A portion of this prologue text is from the chapter Up in Flames written by Doug Beyer from The MTG website. I needed to do this for my crossover to make sense to new readers. This is my only act of plagarism.

Then maybe don't put up this chapter? You didn't have to use someone else's work to explain this; a quick recap as Ob Nixilis entered Equestria would've sufficed, like so:

The air seemed to fold outward, and a demon stepped into the new world, sneering with disgust. He was almost rid of those nuisances. But that pyromancer just had to show up, freeing his prisoners, teaming up against him with the others, and overall ruining everything. No matter, though. Zendikar was doomed, and he would have his revenge on them. He turned his focus toward a forest, familiar from his previous travels to this very plane. He smiled. Yes, he would have his revenge, and he knew just what he needed to get it.

See? A quick recap before diving right into the story, and you didn't need to use anyone else's work (which is also against site rules, by the way).

(As an aside, I edited that little paragraph about three times before posting this comment.)

Lastly, Jace is useless--by his own admission--against the undead. It's only a nitpick unless they end up beset by more zombies, though.

Now that the negatives are out of the way, let's get to the positives. I liked the interaction between Discord and Nixilis. They both seemed well in-character. I also found myself genuinely chuckling at Discord's jokes at the game table. Lastly, I appreciate the effort with Zecora's rhymes (even if they were a tad clunky), and I'm glad you spelled Jace's name correctly.

I'll be keeping an eye on this. The story's premise is interesting, and I've been looking for a good Magic: the Gathering crossover story on this site. Hopefully, with a bit of editing, this'll be just the story I'm looking for. Good luck on this and your future endeavors !

[CoastBrumby]

7044105 Oh! If everyone cares so much, I will make more of an effort. Distressing my readers was never my goal. I'll fix the errors I can find and hopefully put a revised edition up soon.

I'm keeping the plagiarism. I like the seen where the pyromancer, Chandra, blasts Ob Nixilis with fire before he escapes. That was an addition I thought was needed in the original story.

[CoastBrumby]

7036246 Thanks for the heads up by the way.

[FanOfMostEverything]

7044476
Remember, if it seems like you don't care about your writing, readers won't feel like they should care either. Not bothering to get the characters' names right screams indifference, as does making no effort to edit.

[icecreammac]

7044469 I'm very glad to hear that you're gonna be making a better effort to edit and get names right. I still highly suggest just doing away with the prologue. Yes, it was a cool scene, but the very fact that you're calling it plagiarism means that you acknowledge that you shouldn't be using it at all. Don't get me wrong; I don't think Doug Beyer or WOTC is going to be throwing a fit over this, but like I said, plagiarism is against site rules. Someone might report this story and get it deleted, and then there goes all your work. I seriously suggest removing it before anything like that happens.

P.S. It also sets the reader's expectation of the story regarding spelling and grammar, and it will surely disappoint them when they see that every other chapter isn't quite up to snuff on the technical side.

[CoastBrumby]

7044752 I'll think about it.

[CoastBrumby]

7044105

There were many spelling and grammar errors, the worse mistake being misspelling the word bite. It's bite, not bight

One is an act, the other is a part of geography or a loop of rope. I did not know they were spelled differently, but now I do.

I really think the ordinary reader is not going to have a problem with it though. The words are phonetically the same, and it is clear I do not mean a loop of rope by the context.

[icecreammac]

7046704 I actually didn't know that the word bight actually meant something, so thanks for the quick vocabulary lesson . That said, I don't think people will overlook the fact that you misspelled bite.