• Published 13th Mar 2016
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Princess Twilight Sparkle's School for Fantastic Foals - kudzuhaiku



Princess Twilight Sparkle's School for Fantastic Foals is the place to go for friendship studies.

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Chapter 54

The back door closed behind Sumac and he found himself in the kitchen. Long Ears and Kabuki had fled the area, worried about being caught and put to work. As for Sumac himself, he was in good spirits. All things considered, he felt pretty good about things. He was tired, he was thirsty, he was hungry, but he was in a pretty decent mood, even with everything that was going on.

“Did you come home a warrior?” Pebble asked.

In reply, Sumac made a feeble shrug, then went over to the kitchen table and sat down. He was a bit more tired than he thought and it felt good to sit down and lean against the table’s edge. In front of him were treats, boxes, packages, mailing labels, more stuff than he could take in and comprehend.

“Where is Boomer?” Sumac looked around, but did not find her.

Pebble lifted her foreleg and pointed up. Tilting his head back, Sumac looked up and saw all kinds of dried plants hanging from the thick beams that supported the ceiling. Hanging from a wooden peg that held a collection of strung up garlic bulbs, he saw Boomer, sound asleep. She was doing her part, Boomer, keeping the garlic safe.

Everypony had to do their part.

“Hit any bullseyes?” Pebble’s ears perked up, waiting for a reply.

“Nope.” Sumac’s reply was cheerful. “But I’m okay with that. Kabuki got me to focus and I kept hitting the target, but never the bullseye. She taught me that anger is a gift.”

“No it isn’t.” Pebble shook her head and there was a curious grunt from her grandmother, who stood near the stove. “Anger is a destructive force that I have to hold back at all costs.”

Cloudy, who stepped away from the stove, carried over a teacup sitting on a saucer held in her teeth. She set it down in front of Sumac, gave him an affectionate pat, and then returned to her work. Ponies needed treats, and these treats didn’t make themselves.

“Wrong, Pebble. Rage is a destructive force and it is what happens when anger and potential are left to sour.”

“What?” Pebble sat there, blinking her eyes, and she folded her front hooves together on the table in front of her.

“Kabuki said that anger isn’t right or wrong. It isn’t good or bad. It’s a… it’s…” Sumac struggled to remember what he had been taught. “P-something?”

“Primary?” Cloudy turned down the burner on her stove and clapped a lid on a pot.

“That’s it!” Sumac bounced in his chair. “Primary emotion. Anger is a primary emotion. It’s different than rage, which is a secondary emotion. Primary emotions are never positive or negative, they exist to act as a foundation for other emotions and feelings. Anger has to be harnessed and made good, or else it will turn into rage.”

“I like you best when you are smart.” Pebble’s face turned a somewhat darker shade of brown.

“Kabuki gave me an earful. I don’t know what to think. So much of what I was taught was wrong. And it feels wrong too. When she talked, it was like… it was like opening a window and feeling a nice breeze. Everything made sense. I knew that what she was saying was true, but I don’t know how I knew it.” Sumac’s brow furrowed and he continued, “I feel a lot better now, I really do. I’m still upset, but I’m dealing with it. I’m worried, but I’m dealing with it. Kabuki told me to be grateful for what I currently have in any situation, and we talked about that, and I have all of you, and I was so angry and worried that I didn’t take that into consideration and I am really, really sorry. I was so wrapped up in my own bad thoughts that I almost missed out on making new friends. I’m sorry.”

“This world just keeps getting more confusing.” Cloudy’s words were a soft mumble. “It’s like having Maud around all over again. Scary smart little five year olds.” She let out a faint whinny, turned from her stove, and looked over at the foals at the table. “All is forgiven. These are trying times for everypony.”

After nodding, Sumac took a drink of his tea by sticking his muzzle down into it and slurping some up. He could see Pebble fidgeting in her seat and there was something about her face… distress? Sumac wasn’t sure, but something was wrong. Would Pebble spit it out or would he have to drag it out of her?

No words seemed forthcoming. Pebble picked up a toffee covered blue popcorn ball and began to devour it. Sumac had never seen blue popcorn before, this didn’t look dyed. It was blue. He had never seen a purple pumpkin either.

“Ew.”

“What’s wrong Marble?” Cloudy asked.

Standing in the doorway, Marble’s nose crinkled. “Stinky colt.”

Tea dripped from Sumac’s muzzle as he lifted his head away from his cup. He became aware of the fact that everypony was staring at him. There was an awkward moment of realisation and he saw Pebble nodding. He was stinky? He had taken a bath the day before the invasion… which was now… a couple of days ago?

“I’m washing you, Mister.” Marble’s voice was soft, delicate, but also dangerous sounding, as if she was daring him to be defiant. “I’m going to make you cute and fluffy again, so help me.”

“I’ll cooperate.” Sumac hunched over his tea and gave Pebble a sour look.

“Well, Marble has certainly become more assertive.” Cloudy stepped away from her stove and began to examine some treats cooling on the counter. “Those courses with Iron Will seemed to have sorted her right out.”

“That was funny.” Pebble, holding her popcorn ball, had something almost resembling a smile upon her face.

“What was funny?” Sumac asked.

“Iron Will mistook my mother for being a wishy washy pushover because she was quiet and didn’t say much.” Pebble smiled, and it was a disturbing sight indeed. Her eyes glittered, and not in a good way. One ear twitched and then she took a bite of her popcorn ball.

“What happened?” Sumac found that he wanted to know.

“Oh, we don’t speak of that. Bad things happened. Iron Will learned about quiet assertiveness. I learned how to speak up and be more assertive when I was trying to get both Maud and Limestone to stop.” Marble’s face darkened and she blushed for a time. “I had to raise my voice quite a bit. I became unruly.”

“She grabbed the microphone and shouted so loud that ponies were deaf for days.”

“Pebble, how could you?” Marble looked betrayed.

“I couldn’t hear anything for a week.” Pebble took another bite of her popcorn ball and sat there, staring at her aunt. After swallowing, she continued, “It took another month for my ears to stop ringing and my father walked around shouting for a whole moon.”

“Igneous too,” Cloudy added. “I was the smart one. I stayed home. There is something to be said about a mare staying at home in her kitchen where she belongs—”

“Mama, that’s sexist,” Marble protested, “and not a good message for Pebble or Sumac.”

“Not if a mare wants to stay in her kitchen, where she is in charge and runs her own business.” Cloudy narrowed her eyes at her daughter. “The princesses themselves would not challenge me in my kitchen. This is my domain.

Sumac, stuck trying to take all of this in, came to one conclusion: the Pies were silly ponies. They were a big herd of silly ponies. He thought about Trixie, and Lemon Hearts, and then he thought about the nice, quiet little house where they all lived. Quiet.

“If Sumac told me to stay in the kitchen, I think I’d be okay with that,” Pebble said in between bites. “I like cooking. I just wish I was better at it. I got teased about it.”

“See?” Cloudy pointed a hoof at her granddaughter and Marble let out an indignant snort. Cloudy, perhaps realising Pebble’s distress, turned to look at the little filly. “Pebble, dear, you don’t have a cutie mark that involves cooking. If you want to be good at it, you’ll have to go about it the hard way, with a lot of hard work. I do just fine and my business is booming.”

“I don’t want to tell anypony to stay in the kitchen.” Confused, Sumac wondered just what he was in the middle of. No wonder Pebble was so weird. This whole family… he didn’t know how to take it all in. These ponies were beyond his understanding. Discord would be right at home here.

“Pebble, you can’t just let Sumac tell you what to do.” Marble shook her head.

“Why not?” Pebble demanded. “I tell him what to do. Fair is fair.”

Cheeks bulging, Marble bit back an angry retort and then just stood there, her ears twitching. After a moment, Marble blurted out, “Mama, this is all your fault. You and Daddy, you both boss each other around and pretend that you’re all gruff and everything and now Pebble thinks this is normal behaviour for a loving couple.”

Arching an eyebrow, Cloudy replied, “It most certainly is.”

“Ugh, Mama, no it’s not!” Marble stomped her hoof and then in a fit of near foalish defiance, she crossed her eyes, stuck out her tongue, and blew a raspberry at her mother.

Fearful, Sumac stared into Pebble’s eyes, and for one terrifying second, he saw his own future. Perhaps getting involved with Pie family fillies was a bad idea, and maybe there should be a warning about it. There were lots of sensible families out there, with quiet, sensible fillies, a big wide world. But none of them were Pebble.

“Marble Pie, I will take you over my lap—”

“And spank me?” Marble’s eyes went wide. “That’s wrong too.”

“Every one of my foals turned out to be fine examples and upstanding citizens, and all of them were spanked, including you, Marble. Tell me where you found your sense of right and wrong.”

“Grammy also spanked my daddy once. I was little and I don’t remember it.” Pebble finished off her popcorn ball and wiped her muzzle.

Eyes blazing with fury, Cloudy shook her head. “Tarnish started to go down the wrong path. Got visited by Wardens. Got lectured by the princesses, both of them. Something had to be done… something had to set him straight… something had to make him follow the honest earth pony way.”

“Grammy paddled him with a big wooden spoon and set him straight.”

Sumac began to fear for his own backside. There were a lot of wooden spoons in this kitchen. Big ones. Real big ones. They were everywhere. Metal spoons too. And spatulas. There were a lot of spatulas. The kitchen was an armory of spankery. His gaze fell upon a big breadboard used to slide loaves in and out of the oven.

“Both of the princesses watched with bowed heads.” Marble lapsed into recollection and half closed her eyes. “Princess Luna called it an intervention and Princess Celestia said that if a pony doesn’t fear the decrees of alicorns then at least he should fear his mother.”

What sort of messed up world was this? Sumac thought to himself.

“Tarnish has kept on the straight and narrow way.” Cloudy pushed her glasses up on her nose and adjusted them. “He will never, ever, under any circumstances go astray ever again. I love my son and I will not see him slip off into darkness.”

“That was a very emotional day,” Marble whispered.

Turning around, Cloudy faced her stove and said nothing else, but the sounds of sniffling could be heard. Stunned, Sumac sat in silence, and Pebble eyed another popcorn ball. He didn’t know what to think, what to say, or even what he felt about everything he had just heard.

“I love my son so much.” Cloudy, still sniffling, turned off the stove and pulled a pan off of the still warm burner. “He made a mistake and—”

“And it was better for you to punish him than to have him taken somewhere to be sorted out by other means,” Marble said, sparing her mother the words. “Come on, Sumac, finish your tea. You need a bath.”

Sumac wasn’t certain how this series of events had led up to this moment.


The bathwater was hot, but not too hot. Sumac was in a tub that was almost big enough for him to swim in, a massive old wrought iron tub covered in yellow-white enamel. The scrubbing brush moved up and down against his back, and it was soothing. Leaning over, Sumac rested his chin upon the cool edge of the tub.

Some kind of oil had been poured into the tub and the steam that rose up from the water made his eyes sting just a little bit. He turned a bit as the brush scrubbed against his ribs. The brush had hard, stiff bristles and it had hurt him when Marble had started, but now, the bristles had softened a bit in the water and it felt good.

“What did Tarnish do? What happened?” He heard Marble groan and worried that he might have upset her.

The brush kept scrubbing, moving with long swift strokes that made his bathwater churn and make more suds. Marble held the handle in her fetlock with practiced ease. Sumac was impressed by how well she handled it, how dextrous her grip was. The brush moved up closer to his neck and she began to move it in shorter, more controlled strokes.

“Tarnish… made a mistake. And that is all I am comfortable with saying.”

“He had to be punished?” Sumac asked.

“Yes.” Marble’s voice was a soft, breathy whisper. “He did something that demanded punishment. We were all very scared for him and his future. Options were discussed, some of them unpleasant. Even Tarnish agreed that he had to face the consequences of what he had done.”

“So… Cloudy spanked him?”

Marble let out a pained sounding sigh. “Igneous said that if somepony had to punish Tarnish, then it needed to be somepony who loved him. Sumac… it’s complicated. When you punish somepony, it isn’t about pain, or making them suffer, it is about making them never wanting to do again what caused them to be punished.”

Closing his eyes, his chin still resting on the edge of the tub, Sumac replied, “I’m not sure I understand.”

“Punishment is the sort of experience that is so traumatic that it makes you not want to experience said trauma again, so you avoid doing what caused it.” Marble went to work on the other side of Sumac’s neck.

“So, the spanking set him straight?” Sumac wasn’t sure he understood.

“No,” Marble replied.

“Well then, what did?”

“Cloudy having to punish him.” Marble’s voice became a soft squeak. “I guess it was never about the spanking, but Cloudy was heartbroken. She had to suffer in the most awful way. She had to take the burden of punishing Tarnish on her own shoulders. She had to suffer and Tarnish had to watch what it did to her. It was pretty awful. She cried for days and wouldn’t come out of her room. She couldn’t work. As a mother, she had to do something terrible to her son, but she saved him.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Tarnish had to take a portion of suffering proportional to what he had done wrong. And he did wrong. A clear message had to be sent that what he had done was not okay and would not be tolerated. A lot of really terrible things were discussed to punish him. Bad things. Awful things. Things that made everypony cry, including Princess Celestia.”

Sumac thought of Trixie and how she had been in trouble. She too, had crossed that line.

“In the end, Cloudy spanking him was determined to be adequate punishment. Tarnish understood how his actions could affect others, especially those that loved him. I suppose that things worked out for the best, even if I don’t agree with them.”

“When I’ve done wrong, sometimes, Trixie gives me this look. Like she’s real disappointed with me. It’s awful. When she was my teacher and I was her apprentice, she’d do it when I did poorly on my lessons.” Sumac felt his stomach muscles tighten at the memory. “Sometimes though, she’d do something even worse. She’d ask herself, ‘what’d I do wrong?’ and it was the most terrible thing ever.”

“Mmm hmm. I know how that is.” Marble nodded and kept scrubbing.

“Right and wrong are so hard. The world is so complicated. I can’t make sense of it.” Sumac’s ears drooped and he turned his head so that it was his cheek resting upon the cool edge of the tub. “Trixie taught me to do the least amount of harm that I could while keeping myself alive. Other ponies tell me other things. Right is right and wrong and is wrong. But then there are those moments when everything gets all messed up, like when I had to con Pebble. I wanted to help her. She was running away and that was stupid. She was being stupid and doing stupid things. And it was wrong of me to trick my best friend, but I had to do it. Twilight gave me a long talk about choosing which wrong to do and nothing makes sense anymore.”

“The common pony doesn’t suffer too much with right and wrong,” Marble said in a low voice as she kept scrubbing. “They make simple choices and live with simple consequences.” Marble picked up a pitcher sitting near the tub, dipped it down into the water, and then poured it over Sumac’s head. “For this family though. we’ve had to struggle with extraordinary issues involving right and wrong. We’ve fought, and we’ve battled, and we’ve cried a whole lot, and we’ve laughed together too… but… but the struggle has changed our thinking. Changed who we are as ponies. I suppose it started with Pinkie Pie, who became the Element of Laughter. Maud and Tarnish became rangers and so much more. Limestone started business after business, but found no satisfaction in anything until she started working with Treehugger. As for myself, I’ve kept my nose in my psychology books and I’ve tried to keep us all from falling apart.”

Hearing Marble’s words made Sumac worry about Trixie.

“As for Pebble, she’s had things try to kill her. That was part of the decision to send her to Ponyville to be with Twilight. We’ve had attacks on this farm. Bad things have happened to us because we’ve struggled to do the right thing. Trouble comes to those who do right, Sumac Apple. It’s awful, but it’s true.” Marble squirted some shampoo into Sumac’s mane and then scrubbed his head with the brush.

Sumac squeezed his eyes shut to keep suds from getting into them.

“Poor little Pebble. She’s not like other foals. She has a lot of her mother in her. Making things even more complicated, I think that Pebble pushes others away without even knowing it, because she knows that she is a target and that she remains in danger. It’s a subconscious act on her part, I think.”

“If I could, I would protect her, but I’m little and I need protecting.”

“And I would guess that sometimes, that makes you angry, being so small and helpless.”

“Yes,” Sumac replied, being honest.

“Sumac, I’m helpless too, if that makes you feel any better.”

“But… but… but you’re an adult…” Unable to help himself, Sumac yawned.

Marble let out a soft, sad sounding laugh. “A long time ago, before we had the protection that we have now, our farm was attacked. We had enemies. A lot of bad things happened, Sumac, and I froze. I had a meltdown. Limestone was bleeding, there were spells flying everywhere, and I couldn’t do anything. I just laid down on the ground, curled up, and started crying. My father had to save me… he came over with his pickaxe and he… well, you never mind what he did.” The mare drew in a shuddering breath. “My point is, there is no shame in being helpless and needing others to save you. That’s the good thing about having friends and family, they will save you. And you shouldn’t feel guilty or ashamed about it. I help my family in other ways. I’m the sticky caramel coating that keeps all of us nuts held together.”

When Sumac did not reply, Marble gave the colt a soft prod with the brush, only to discover that he was sound asleep.

Author's Note:

:twilightoops: - I hope I never make my mother angry.

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