Condemnation

by Peekaboo

Has She Told You?

"She has instilled in me the importance and responsibility of being a good ruler. We've had many talks about the integrity and kindness a good Princess must have to be worthy of her throne." Cadance replied, as though reciting it from memory.

"That much is good, yes, but it is not what I mean. Has she spoken to you of the pains that come with the crown and alicornhood?" Luna's concern was more evident the longer Cadance paused.

"I... I'm afraid I don't know what you mean." admitted the younger princess.

"I was afraid of that. If she has not told you, then she certainly has not told dear Twilight either." Luna's lower lip shook as she held back a small sob. "Cadance, you and Twilight are indeed Alicorns. But you are not what would be called a 'natural' alicorn. By that I mean an alicorn born as an alicorn. A natural born alicorn is not created simply by the genetics of their parents, but by lifeblood of the universe. The magic that connects all living things runs heavily through their veins. This is what my sister and I are."

"Twilight and yourself are... different. Not in a bad way, mind you, but for either of you to have truly achieved the form you have now, Celestia has had to offer you up to the Universe for judgement, alongside the offer of a purpose you may fulfill for it. It not only toys with the natural balance of our world, but with your lives as well. I was unaware of her meddling in this sort of magic until my return from the moon. Perhaps it was her loneliness for family that pressured her to seek it out, or perhaps a need to fill my place royally while I was away. But it was wrong of her to do this without your understanding and consent beforehand." Luna explained.

"Do you mean to say that our becoming alicorns goes against nature?" Cadance squinted in disbelief.

"Yes, and no. I'm sorry if my choice of words has offended you." Princess Luna chewed on her lower lip. "But you must understand, the nature of the Universe is fickle. Like I said, if it did not deem you worthy, you'd never have become who and what you are today." Luna tried to smile comfortingly. "My qualms do not lay with that fact, but in that my sister has brought you both into the life of an alicorn unprepared."

"What exactly am I not prepared for?" Cadance's ears twitched.

"If I may ask, how old are you right now, Cadance?" Luna asked.

"I'm 23 years, why do you ask?" Cadance replied.

"And how old is your Shining Armor?" Luna pressed on.

"25 years... again, I- I must ask why." Cadance stiffened, discomfort clearly taking hold.

"Little is known about how unnatural alicorns age. Natural alicorns like Celestia and I live a life that is often described as immortal. We live as long as our presence in the Universe is needed, though our appearance rarely changes. If your lifespan is exactly the same as ours, or has been at least lengthened by your ascendance, how long do you think you'll live?" Luna asked, staring intensely and blankly at the ground.

"W-what do you mean to say?" Cadance stammered, the inkling of fear reaching into her voice.

"Cadance... Being an Alicorn is not a gift, but a condemnation. There is a price to be paid for the power and lifespan we hold." Luna turned forlorn eyes upon Cadance. "It pains me to say that the chances are very strong that you will outlive your beloved. You will likely outlive him, your families, Twilight aside, and all of your friends. Were you aware that by becoming an alicorn, you'd be forfeiting the fact that you will grow old with the ones you love?" Luna stated sorrowfully. "Were you aware that all the while, you will be expected to stand with your head high, and rule over your allotted ponies with the same poise as before you lost a single soul to time?"

Cadance sat wide-eyed and speechless. Confusion, a moment of anger, and fear flashed across her eyes. Luna knew that poor Cadance did not wish to hear this, least of all from someone other than her trusted Aunt Celestia. Cadance did not wish to believe what she'd just been told. Guilt panged at Luna's heart, and she feared she may have just driven her adopted niece away.

"I understand if you choose not to believe me." Luna said, rising to her feet. "I will leave you be if you wish, I will not torment you with things that I cannot prove to be true. These are my fears for you and young Twilight, and it has not been fair of me to unload this upon you if you did not wish to hear it." Luna turned to walk away, shame bearing heavily down upon her.

"Wait! Aunt Luna!" Cadance called out. "Even if what you said turns out to be true, the future cannot be so bleak! I am the Princess of love! I know for a fact that even those who suffered the loss of loved ones meet new ponies to care for. Their friendships and love for one another never really end! Can you deny me that truth?" Luna turned, lips pursed and wings tense. Cadance's pleading face pouted sadly toward her.

"My dear Cadance, it is true, you will meet new ponies. You will befriend them, and love them, but in time they too shall pass. I have not told you these things to upset you, or to express ill will upon you or Twilight, but because from experience I know how it hurts." Luna made no attempt to hide her tears as they began to well up. "I tell you this, because my sister loved you both too much to tell you, and I love you too much to not." With a sob, Cadance stepped forward and embraced the lunar princess, catching her off-guard.

"Please tell me that that cannot be all the future will hold. Tell me there will be happiness." Cadance pleaded. "Dear Luna, I have to tell you what I've told to no-one else yet. I am pregnant! Am I destined to suffer that loss too?!" Luna stared at Cadance in shock, before holding Cadance in a tight, sorrowful hug. The princesses wept together for a few moments.

"I cannot know for certain." Luna eventually admitted. "As I said before, I cannot guarantee that these things I've told you are anything more than fears. But I implore you, assume that I am wrong, for the sake of the foal you carry. Don't ever stop loving others." Cadance sank to the ground and continued to weep. "My anger and sadness with this statue lay in the fact that it was not built to celebrate Twilight's new life, but Celestia's accomplishment in keeping someone she cared about by her side. It is truly a disgrace." Luna lifted Cadance's chin.

"But please, do not interpret this as a reason to hate my sister. You have a happy relationship with her, and I did not wish to tarnish her reputation in your eyes. Remember that she cares truly for you both, though I fear that her intentions have been unintentionally misplaced." Luna pleaded. "It is wrong that she has made this decision for you and Twilight. Without either of you ever knowing what it is you'd be potentially giving up. Should my theories be right, Twilight too will outlive her friends, and family. But in the very least you will have each other in this journey, and Celestia would not have made that decision if you were not precious to her." Cadance blinked back tears and smiled sadly.

"Thank you... And lease don't tell anypony I'm pregnant yet." Cadance sniffed. "I had wanted it to be a surprise to everyone." Luna smiled and crossed her heart.

"Stick a cupcake in my eye." with a tear-filled smile, she helped Cadance to her feet.

"But Luna?" Cadance paused, a moment of hesitation became present.

"Hmm?"

"I promise not to hold anything against her that you don't, but if I may ask..." Cadance paused again, calculating her words. "You said that your sister did something terrible to you... What exactly did Celestia do that pushed you to become Nightmare Moon?" The Lunar Princess froze, staring coldly up to the setting sun. Her magic flaring up, she grasped the moon, and raised it. From the library, she presumed, the sun too was grasped and lowered.

"Twilight herself asked me that very same question not too long ago." Luna said icily. "I'll tell you exactly what I told her: I can tell you everything that I know from my perspective. And I will do so now if you wish me to. But if you truly wish to know what her motives were... then you must ask the sun. Because someday, I too would like to know."

Author's Note:

Okay, so I think I'll end this here. Yup. Seems like a good place.

Comments

[Isumo1489]

Very well done!! This whole things jut makes me want to see the two sisters finally hash things out even more!! GAH!! And this was unfinished? Damn but that jut goes to show the kind of ability you have as a writer, I'd say!! Well done, and hope to see more in time!

Also, previous offer about help with writing still stands!!

[Peekaboo]

7329155
I'm glad it was so well received, lol.
My usual editors have been super busy lately, which is totally fine, so I had to post it without it having been edited or proofread by anyone. It makes me happy to hear that it wasn't too bad after I ran my fingers through it a couple more times! Chances are, you'll see a lot more like this over time.

One of my favorite topics to toy around with is the subject of alicorns, magic, and how the MLP universe works. My thoughts are rarely always 100% show canon, but I think they're fun anyway.

It'd be nice to have someone to bounce ideas off of once in a while, so maybe I'll run some thoughts past you the next time I come up with something I feel like writing.

[supersport]

You said in your other story this was not intended to be a Celestia bashfic but to me it seems like you are writing one and it certainly seems as such in this one too. Now i won't downvote because its written well enough albit I have a hard time seeing this happening in canon but if I see it as an AU it seems like an Ok story. I'll explain why I feel this couldn't happen in canon:

*Celestia held the elements of kindness and generosity when fighting discord which together are probably the least likely personality traits to lead into how you describe Celestia in the past. It is highly unlikely that she would betray her elements because of her newfound power but I suppose it is possible.
*Giving you the benefit of the doubt lets say she did somehow turn into a power hungry tyrant after she came into power do you really think she would have been able to harness all 6 elements against Luna? It's pretty clear in the show that the elements have some kind of intelligence and also seems highly unlikely they would choose to side with her if she did act the way you say towards Luna.
*Cadance was chosen for ascension without any influence from Celestia as per her that "crystal heart spell" book which is about as canon of a backstory for Cadance as you can currently get. You could however certainly argue for Twilight's manipulation but even that you should remember that her cutie mark appeared on the tree of harmony before she was even born. It would be a monumental error on Celestia's part if she chose not to teach Twilight, if anything it seems like Celestia was trying to accelerate her ascension which could be taken as trying to manipulate her.
*Now for probably the thing that gets me the most riled up on these sorts of story's where Luna is blameless in her transformation into Nightmare Moon is that she really has no reason to feel any sort of regret for her actions nor any reason to even act civil around Celestia. If that were me i would be screaming the truth about the past at the top of my lungs and would certainly not have offered an apology as the first thing I would say to the being that caused me all that strife after i had been purged of NMM.
*In the show time and time again Luna has been shown as someone extremely remorseful about her own past actions, the fact that she resorted to torturing herself as a way to seek redemption speaks a lot about how she feels, If the events in your interpretation took place though I really see no reason Luna should feel any kind of remorse for what she did.

Now as rare as I see it happen I also hate when Celestia is presented as the Woobie instead of Luna as she is here. Although I do personally feel that Luna is more to blame for her transformation than Celestia is there is no doubt she did play a big role in her sister's fall.

*Celestia is never seen apologizing to Luna something i have always found pretty odd, while possible she did it off-screen Celestia always comes across as feeling self righteous about the whole thing even though Luna supports it. This could lead to what Luna did to herself in the whole tantabus fiasco as she could have felt that everything was entirely her own fault even though that might not have been the case.
*Even though Celestia might very well have the best interest in her subjects livelihood she seems like someone who is always looking at the bigger picture and always overlooking the individuals and those close to her. I feel that because of that she did not notice her subjects growing reverence towards her and the growing shadow she cast over Luna. My reason for believing this is the episode "For Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils" where Luna is speaking from experience to show the shadow Rarity casts over Sweetie Belle even though Rarity might actually be acting in Sweetie's best interest behind the scenes. I feel a lot of people overlook that little tidbit in that episode as it seems like the writers where trying showing parallels in both Sweeties and Luna's situations with their bigger sisters.

Really I'm tired of the countless blameless Luna story's and after reading the first part I was hoping you were not going down that path but after this one I really don't see how Luna could be blamed for anything that happened.

[Steben]

I'd argue this is an overused genre (The immortality part), but you did a fantastic job of giving two seemingly flawless ponies their own flaws.

Thanks for posting this it was a great read.

[Peekaboo]

7330236
To start, I'm sorry that it was a disappointment to you. But... one note is that these are written from their own perspectives, not taking into account what the other may or may not know, or what we know from watching in 3rd person. It's their perspectives on the situations, and as we all know, perceptions are often skewed when the whole truth isn't on the table.

I don't really agree that this one was necessarily hateful towards Celestia so much as attempting to portray her as a pony who feels sadness and longing as much as anypony else. That she's not perfect, and may still make selfish decisions. That even though she bore the elements of kindness and generosity, that she wasn't always kind and generous (which the show has canonly portrayed amongst a number of the mane 6 as well, that their elements can be sort of abused, or rather gone neglected, in a way). That being another reason I feel she may have lost her connection to her elements when all was said and done. But even Luna stated that Celestia should not be held on contempt for her actions, because while she sometimes questions her sister's decisions and intentions, she doesn't dislike her or doubt her kindness. She even stated that it should not be questioned that she loved her sister. She would still remember the bond they shared before everything went to pot for them. All Luna expects of it personally, is an eventual apology and peace to come at last to her sister. If she did not think Celestia was a fair ruler, or decided that she hated her still, I doubt she would have given up completely after she was stripped of her previous anger.

But anyway, this story is definitely more based on one of the headcanon possibilities of how things may have gone down. It's by no means show canon, probably something I should have stated in their description.

To answer this comment:

*Giving you the benefit of the doubt lets say she did somehow turn into a power hungry tyrant after she came into power do you really think she would have been able to harness all 6 elements against Luna? It's pretty clear in the show that the elements have some kind of intelligence and also seems highly unlikely they would choose to side with her if she did act the way you say towards Luna.

It would happen the very same way that it happened canonly in the show. She still used the elements that her sister was connected to against her in order to banish her. Also, in my first story, Celestia states that it was Luna's connection to her elements that lessened her sentence and allowed her eventual escape. It did not go unaccounted for, but the elements still recognized her as a danger, and followed through. Plus, afterward, the elements cut themselves off from Celestia's use, another reason she left them behind in the old castle until new ponies came along who could bear them properly.

Oh, also, on the note of Cadance... I'm actually too poor to be able to buy the comics and books that have been released. I was completely unaware of any of that. But again, these stories I wrote are not necessarily intended to be show/story canon.

Another note: my intention was not to make Luna appear blameless, I had hoped part of the conversation with Cadance had portrayed that at least a little. She still tried to leave the world in eternal night, and take over forcefully. It's by no means denying that she went beyond kinda crazy. She deserved the imprisonment she got, something she'd admit openly within this canon, especially if you reference to the first story when Celestia mentions how much longer and bloodier the battle was between them, and that the ponies suffered for it. I meant to imply that ponies died because of Luna's rage and the battle that took place. This is one reason Luna doesn't react in the way you seem to expect she would in this scenario. She is guilty. Very much so. 1000 years to reflect on that, plus having all the anger from the past forcefully removed from your heart (like happened to her in episode 2), I imagine kind of takes that need out of you. It didn't matter to her who was "right or wrong", because in the end they were both wrong.

The way I view it, Luna's transformation into NMM was less "being taken over" as a lot of people like to think, I view it more as an altering of her physical form merely to reflect the rage she held inside. I believe it to have been a conscious decision on her part, at least within this headcanon, meaning that Celestia didn't force her into it either. But rather Celestia actions eventually led to Luna deciding for herself to make that change. Clearly it was a poor choice on her part, because it cost them both.

But yeah, explanation over. I hope maybe it helped a little? If not, then I guess this story just wasn't ever gonna work for you. I'm sorry it didn't turn out as you'd hoped, maybe next time I'll write something you end up liking better. Oh, and good luck with whatever your endeavors you have on here too. Have a good day/night.

[Peekaboo]

7330283
Thank you!
I'm glad you enjoyed it. It's the first time I've written stories like this, so they may be a little less than they could have been, but I'm always trying to get better!

[supersport]

7330397
I think the main thing throwing me off in this is Luna's seemingly having very little remorse. Basically in the first part Celestia rightfully piles the blame on herself and in this Luna pretty much reiterates the same thing Celestia said in the last fic plus even more. That's why to me it seems like a bashfic, Celestia doesn't have a leg to stand on and Luna seems to know as much. And like I said that's what makes it hard to believe this is the same Luna from the show whom seems to have endless remorse. If Luna's only fault was doing evil things after she was literally driven to madness by the acts of another it's hard to take her redemption as legitimate seeing how she was always originally a perfect pony. Maybe you're not making it clearer, did Luna do anything wrong in the past besides be a good like able pony? What reasons did she have to be jealous when she knew her sister was actively sabotaging her popularity?

[Black Hoof]

Nice fic with good questions. But there too, you wrote "feet" instead of "hooves".

[Peekaboo]

7330738
I'm glad you liked it well enough, though from what a few are saying I'm guessing that it actually really seems to need work.

Also, hooves are feet, silly. There's no reason they wouldn't use what is such a generalized term.

Nobody ever believes me when I say that, and some others get defensive, so by definition: a foot is (in vertebrates) the terminal part of the leg, below the ankle joint, on which the body stands and moves. (Sorry to go all dictionary on you )

[Fracturedheart]

I liked it!

[Peekaboo]

7330475
I wrote a ridiculously long response to your comment, in the hope to maybe defend it a little, or at least try and explain my thinking on their world, but that would take too much time and energy to write and read. But I realized that none of that really matters in the end anyway, so I deleted it and wrote this instead. It's too bad this didn't appeal to you more, but I'm not going to change it or start writing it completely different because of that. I do intend to make edits, and perhaps put a little more sadness and remorse into Luna, because I get where you're coming from with this.

But the Luna I wrote for this isn't defined solely by her remorse, it plays an incredibly large part in her behavior, but after her first Nightmare Night it's sat bubbling under the surface rather than worn on her sleeve. To me, that's exactly the same as in show up until the Tantabus event, which these stories take place a number of weeks before. But there are still other things going on in their world that I want Luna to be a part of. I want her to be interactive rather than so completely wound up around her sadness, that it's all she really is as a character. I mean it is certainly there, but she seems to internalize it more than show it.

The reason Celestia is dealing with so much regret in my first story, and is being so hard on herself in general is the exact same reasons that Luna does on her part, I just wanted it to focus a little more on the other side of that coin for once. It's not meant to be bashing her, it's meant to show that she too is full of remorse. That she too was capable of becoming something worse than she ever should have been, and that she hates the very memory. That she too suffers her own form of self-wrought punishment. She's busy feeding her own tantabus of sorts. On my part, with the way it was written, I guess I fail to see how it was bashing her rather than stating their individual (NONcanon) views on her actions.

This is why it stings a little when people think this is a bashfic, or about a tyrantlestia. If I bashed, I'd probably be at least a little meaner about it, almost tauntingly so, and it would be a larger portion of the focus of both stories. And if she was a tyrant, all of Equestria would have been suffering under her rule. But she wasn't, and they didn't. She wasn't ever evil in my story, she was just a spoiled teenager who was in love with the adoration she received. She felt powerful, not so much physically, but emotionally. Like she was on top of the world. She was addicted to that feeling, so much so that she didn't really want to share it, not even with her sister. So like some kids do, she made some cruel mistakes just to stay on top, and they backfired on her one day.

It therefore seems to me that the Luna and Celestia your looking for are in another castle. Remember that this is a fanfiction, one that's not based solely around show canon and it contains personal ideas that include the idea that there is so much more to Luna's personality than just sadness and remorse. And the same stands for Celestia and her usual confidence and joy.

But anyway, there will likely be a third installment to these stories. Maybe you'll end up liking that one better when it's posted if you decide to read it.

[Peekaboo]

7331472
Thank you, I'm glad.

[supersport]

7331495
Now keep in mind this is merely a suggestion. After reading your defense I can definitely see where you were trying to go with this. Like I've been saying at least to me there seems to be very little Luna should be sorry for seeing how all her wrongdoings were done while she was insane. I think this would have worked much better if Luna did not find out until after she returned that it was because of Celestia that the public shunned her especially if she found out without Celestia's knowledge of it. That way it is true that her own very real jealousy is what ultimately led her transformation into NMM even though it was really Celestia's fault that the public shunned her in the first place. Luna knowing that in the past makes it that much harder to make her remorse for her past seem genuine. Similarly Celestia continuing her misdeeds towards Luna even after she was busted just seems entirely too evil, irredeemable, and a very one-sided conflict. Certainly if I was in Luna's shoes it would be nearly impossible for me to ever even think about forgiving Celestia.
A big part of why I love Luna as a character is her redemption and triumph in developing herself into a better ruler. Reading people write her as basically faultless always cheapens her image and just turns her into a very flat Mary Sueish character in my eyes. Giving Luna a bit more fault could do wonders for making the emotions in this seem much more realistic and I do like what you are trying to convey with Celestia being a bit bratty in the past even if I do feel it is going past that into the realm of villainy.

Sorry if my previous comments have seemed a little harsh. I regret not conveying that I do like the basis of the story and the majority of the ideas presented even if Luna's emotions seem artificial and that Celestia seems entirely too evil.

[Peekaboo]

7331824
So I made some minor changes throughout With Tears in Her Eyes. I'm hoping perhaps it may have made some aspects at least a little bit better? I would like your opinion if you wouldn't mind taking the time.

[SeventhBrony]

tia want so tia gonna get and to heck with anything, anyone and any consequences for those tia's want affects

[randome284]

I actually got a bit tear eyed from this story. It was beautiful. I'd like too see things from Luna's perspective. Now, onto the sequel.

[DivinePanzer]

8743514
That's fair.

Rainbow Dash is too dull to be cyan. Or at least, in my view she is, going from games I've played Cyan is much brighter. And a touch greener. Or maybe that's teal.

Half the reason I haven't written my own stuff is things like that. I'm not sure if I'm colorblind, or just color stupid. I'm never sure of my word choices, and that's important in writing, or so I hear.

I'm sorry if my comment came across as harsh. I've learned to avoid commenting massive amounts of corrections, and while you had a few it was very readable, save that one part. Which, now that you mention it was less a public celebration and more a gift...I'm at loss for what Luna's beef is, unless it's just more ignoring Luna, in her eyes? Or maybe Luna just misunderstands Celestia's intention.

Ugh, now I feel bad nitpicking it. As an analogy, you described a Great Cat, and I'm asking if it was a tiger, Lion, or panther.

[Peekaboo]

8743563
Don't go fretting over it or anything, it really isn't a big deal. Like I said, most of these were written quickly and are clearly filled with errors, it's good when someone points them out so they can be addressed.

Again, I'm sorry if I came off as frustrated, but this series of stories seem to have new errors I missed every time I look over them lol. It's not the comments frustrating me, but the stories themselves.

[protator]

I enjoyed this story and it's prequel ... but the last chapter is rather weak.
Why would Cadi be so shocked by the fact that she's going to outlive her husband and friends?
Did she never in all those years since her ascension think about the implications and consequences?
It just doesn't seem like something she'd need to be told.
Sure, she was young when she became an alicorn and may have had other, more fun things, on her mind, but surely she would've realized those things very clearly when she was starting to imagine and later actively plan a future with Shining. She would've realized long ago that being an Alicorn and growing old together with your spouse are mutually exclusive.
Same with purple smart. Twilight IOverAnalzeEverything Sparkle. Twi is emotionally fragile, more so than most other characters. So she's probably shoved it as far to the back of her mind as she could the moment she realized ... but she's certainly aware as well.
Luna is ranting about the one thing that's so obvious that there was no need for Celestia to shove it in their faces.
The real tragedy is how immortality is going to affect their relationships before those ponies pass on.
Friends being reminded of their age and withering bodies every time they look at them, ponies telling them to move on because they don't want to hold them back, aging lovers questioning their feelings, accusing them of sticking around only out of obligation ... etc.
What happens when their partners reach an age where they can no longer 'perform'? That can only mean the alicorns must be cheating on them, right? And what if that's actually not so far from the truth? For an immortal stuck in eternal youth physical needs and love/loyalty towards a spouse will - inevitably in my opinion - become completely separate things.
There's so much potential for tragedy Luna could've hinted at, but nope. In best princess tradition she only states the most obvious.

Welp, it doesn't look like the author is ever going to read this ... but I needed to get this out of my system.