Batsy Fluffentuft's Short Screwy Adventure

by Snowdrifter

Ooooh, shiny!

"Finally, after one thousand years, I'm free! It's time to - ooooh, shiny!"

With that, Batsy Fluffentuft, Luna's bestest and cutest and smartest ever bat pony shifted her course, although the balloon pilot really needed a new career choice anyways. At least the castle broke his fall. There was no time to explain that though, so she didn't. Instead, she flew even faster! Silly earth pony balloonists shouldn't fly without wings! Whatever was the deal with that? Wait, where'd that shiny go? Oho, there it is!

Batsy was sure as Celestia ate too much cake that she saw something odd drifting though Canterlot. Not odd as in a number, although that would have counted too! No this odd was ponylike, pink, propeller-propelled, and particularly peculiar! She had to investors.. instiga...interro... inquisit... She had to look into this mysteriously mysterious mystery! Surprize was her greatest weapon. Fear and surprize. Yes, those were her two greatest weapons - fear, surprize, and an exceptional flying talent! ERM, amongst her *many* weapons were - ohmygosh, there's the shiny!

Of course, anything worth doing is worth doing the Batsy way, right? Since this was so odd, Batsy dexterously flew through tree branches and some red lanterns hanging outside a Chineighs restaurant. That UFO was flying way too low! It was foolish and dangerous! It would take an expert flyer to manage this chase! To catch the shining, spinning propeller!

Challenge Accepted!

As she pursued her quarry, Batsy was not sure how the propeller pony persistantly prevailed in preventing her perusal. Yes, as she finished her new dish of vegetable chow mein on the wing, she found the abomination that she was pursuing to be almost as good as she was! Almost as good as the chow mein, too! And that was pretty good. Dangerously good for something shiny! At least she could put down the empty bowl.

Someone would get it off the roof later, she was sure of it!

Batsy banked hard about a corner, and flared her wings to slow down, since she couldn't see the propeller any more. She looked about with a "Gasp!", realizing that the propeller pony was expressly mocking her, going around a corner back the other way! Wait a second...

There was another propeller going into a donut shop, and another crossing the street three blocks away, and another was looking at her from a tower nearby. Stranger still, they were all being worn by the same pony! That flashy shiny propeller was taunting her.

Now, she was seeing the same propeller, on the same pony, pirourtting in the plaza, whilst it appeared on the far side of a shubbery. It mocked her from the towers! It even appeared on her head - but it escaped with a strange giggling sound when she tried grabbing it. Batsy was in danger. Of being beaten! But Batsy's no egg. Oh no, the yolk will be on the propeller soon! She chased it back through the first set of trees, and back past the Chineighs restaraunt, having to slow to a wok to avoid overshooting it! Then, it split into a dozen copies and scrambled about! It was a plethora of propeller-powered pink ponies! But how could she catch them all?

Two could play that game - so Batsy waited cunningly until there were just two propellers. Then she pounced! But all she caught was some leaves and tree sap. So, she took off after the second propeller!

AND WHAT AN EPIC CHASE IT WAS!

As Batsy closed in on the shiny propeller, the pony wearing it went in a door on one side of a busy street. Certain of victory, Batsy pulled open the door only to see the propeller-wearing pony exit a door four doors down and cross the street! Swiftly, she flew over there, and readied herself to open that door... only for the propeller pony to pass perilously close to the foreground scenery and crawl inside a wooden crate. With a huff, Batsy ran over to lift the crate, only for there to be mostly nothing under the crate. Meanwhile she heard a door open, only to see the pony crossing the street again waaaaay back next to Background Pony Number Seven (of Nine). For several minutes, as a lively saxophone melody played along in the background, Batsy kept up the pursuit, before finally stopping, gasping and tired.

"Maybe I should get a simple, plain, ordinary glass of water before continuing?", she mused aloud. When a pink hoof offered her a glass of water from off screen, she gratefully accepted, and drank most of it, before spitting out the last bit of water in sudden realization of what had happened. Taking advantage of a different camera angle, she began chasing the propeller pony once more. The dropped glass detonated behind her with a dark bang...

Seriously, Batsy would almost catch that shiny propeller, only for the pony wearing it to poof! She had to have the shiny propeller! Every time she'd get close, she'd miss and crash into something odd.Never something even. That in itself was odd. But she was certain she'd get it now!

After her last crash, she headed into a park, an anguished cry of "My cabbages!", echoing down the street. She was so close, she could feel it, and even more helpfully, she could see it. Leaping over a hedge, she fell flat on her face in a cloud of white smoke.

Scanning frantically, Batsy realized that the propeller had gotten away. Still, she'd shown it a thing or three. Odd number of things because the thing was so odd! That meant she could relax. So, of course she didn't jump vertically a dozen feet and grab onto the tree branch above her, hanging upside down in shock, when a voice from nowhere right behind her yelled...

"SCREWBALL!"

Comments

[TodayIWriteFanfics]

Not exactly the same feel as the original.

Hilarious nonetheless. It's simply a different flavor of hilarious.

Have an upvote. You deserve it.

[Snowdrifter]

7060747 Thanks!

[Hopeful_Ink_Hoof]

I believe this is what you are referring to:

Not too bad. Kind of an amusing attempt.

[Snowdrifter]

7061030 You're right, but I can't change it till after the contest, if I read the rules right.

[fractalman]

Surprize was her greatest weapon. Fear and surprize. Yes, those were her two greatest weapons - fear, surprize, and an exceptional flying talent! ERM, amongst her *many* weapons were - ohmygosh, there's the shiny!

Nobody nopony expects the spanish royal inquisition!

[Snowdrifter]

7069683
Yup! Although I couldn't have Batsy leave the scene and come back in again. Had this been a Pinkie Pie fiction, I might have.

Now, who should be Biggles and Fang?

[PresentPerfect]

You realize you called her "Betsy" at one point?

[Snowdrifter]

7155427 It's not my fault....
It's a typo. I blame Trixie.
Will fix it.
Thanks!

[ocalhoun]

Batsy is pretty hard to get just right... and I think this one falls short a little. Just something about the 'ooh shiny!' strikes me as a bit too scatterbrained. Something's also odd about the occasional present tense. And then there's the narrative, which skips back and forth as much as Screwball does. That said, this is a pretty fun idea to work with, and I'm tempted to steal the idea of her leaving a bowl on top of a roof for somepony else to clean up. Oh, and the cabbages, of course. That made me snort.

cdn-img.fimfiction.net/group/vkuc-1448531607-209408-128
A review for ocalhoun's big 250k contest.
Remember to vote for the winner of the People's Choice award!
The rankings and ratings of stories in the contest are visible in real time, and you can see them here.

[CommanderBigMac]

absolutely funny in its own right

[Jtocool]

Seven of Nine, tertiary adjunct unit of uni-matrix zero one.

[Snowdrifter]

7633984
Indeed! You win an internet, and a moustache.
There's another famous Number Seven no one has mentioned though.

[WorldWalker128]

Honestly I didn't really enjoy this one. I like random as much as the next schuck, hence why Pinkie Pie is my favorite pony, still, that was almost too much to keep up with.

[pikammd]

My favorite part was the cabbages. That man cannot catch a break in any universe.
Definitely worth the read. Thanks!

[Comrade Bagel Muffin]

Loved it.