• Published 9th Mar 2016
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Mad Libs - Pen Stroke



You'll find a rampaging army of Rainbow Dash's, a chaos dealing Fancy Pants, cute coughs resulting in cuddling, and more, all in the same place. It's no mad house, it's Mad Libs.

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Greater Giant God - [Folktail][Fausticorn][Zecora]

March 2016 Mad-Lib
Submitter: Sigmacipher
Submission: This Comment
Pre-read & Editing: Illustrious Q, Kirk Heller, Kevinltk


Tirek was a prisoner of Tartarus, but not its original nor its most dangerous occupant. In comparison to some of the darker beings kept in the ancient dungeon, he was a juvenile delinquent that needed to be scared straight. Other villains of far greater power were chained even deeper within Tartarus’s caverns, buried and forgotten by the world. One such creature was Gilgamesh, Giant God of the Griffins.

Before there was an Equestria, a great griffin empire prayed to and were ruled by their god king Gilgamesh, a griffin of immense magical power. So vast in fact that he had grown to be the size of a house, just so his mortal coil could contain the vast energies he commanded.

He was a force of nature. When he roared, it thundered with the force and volume of a volcano erupting. His fire magic could lay waste to acres of land, turning everything to ash with the snap of his claw. None dared to oppose him directly, and even those that followed him feared for their lives on a daily basis. Ponies were enslaved beneath his rule, and he held the entire world in his claw.

Yet, one day, a messenger arrived, bringing a written challenge to the king and his power. The equine species of the world had endured enough, and a champion was selected.

Gilgamesh strode to the badlands that bordered his kingdom, the land where the equine slaves of his glorious empire scraped out what meager existence they could. He called out for the champion to come forward, and the ponies fled from the great and terrible enslaver. All except one, a single zebra who did not even flinch in the face of Gilgamesh’s booming voice.

She sat on a simple, wooden mat, shielded from the badland’s harsh sun by a carefully placed umbrella. She was deep in meditation and seemed not to take notice of Gilgamesh even as he glared at her. He demanded that if she was the equine’s champion, that she step forward and face him.

The zebra however denied the accusation. She was not the true champion. She did, however, offer to bring forth Gilgamesh’s challenger, but she would need to borrow a small thing from him. A small sample of his fire magic, the tiniest of flame.

Gilgamesh saw no danger in the zebra’s request, and with a snap of his claw, a small orb of fire appeared before the zebra, fueled solely by his magic.

The zebra finally opened her eyes, her hoof sweeping out to catch the orb of fire. She turned and juggled it, manipulating the flames while not being burned by them.

In the fire, the zebra saw all the evils Gilgamesh had ever committed. It was a window into his soul, the sample of his magic letting the zebra see the darkness of his heart. Sighing, the zebra offered her apologies to the great and horrible Gilgamesh. She had hoped there would be a chance for peace, but she saw no mercy in his heart. For the sake of the world, he would have to be imprisoned.

A roar of laughter erupted from Gilgamesh. He believed the zebra truly was the champion, and in his pride, offered her to strike the first blow. After all, how could such a small equine who seemed only capable of sitting and juggling fire hope to unseat him, Giant God of the Griffins?

Still, the zebra only closed her eyes, returning to her meditation. From a small satchel at her side, she withdrew a single blue flower, known for its playful tricks. With no fear for the flower, she stuck its cut stem into the badland dirt before her and began to chant a rhyme. She spoke of righteousness, harmony, and the power of friendship. She offered herself, all of her descendants, as well as nine thousand and one heads of cabbage that were stored in a nearby basement.

Through her chanting and the mystic nature of the blue flower, the zebra summoned a power greater than her own. While Gilgamesh, mortal sorcerer king, had given himself the title of being a god, the zebra knew that such power would always pale in comparison to a true lord of creation. A Greater Giant God appeared, manifesting from the sands of the badlands: a brilliant, white alicorn with a red mane from which flowed the life blood of all equines.

The equine goddess said no words, only summoned her magic and blasted Gilgamesh. He had offered the zebra one free attack, and one attack was all it had taken. By the power of the goddess, Gilgamesh was forced deep into the earth, her attack forming the cavern of Tartarus and providing its first prisoner.

Gilgamesh roared and Vowed curses upon the equines and their god, but soon, his protests were silenced by the sealing of Tartarus’s great doors for the first time. The evil sorcerer king was defeated, and the goddess took her offering of cabbages and an oath from the zebra. For as long as she and her descendents spoke in harmony, the great prison of Tartarus would remain strong. Their words and dedication would fuel the spells placed to hold Gilgamesh and all those that would come to be held by the great prison.

~~~

Pinkie Pie smiled as she finished her fable. “And that’s what I think is the reason why Zecora rhymes all the time. She’s the great, great, great, great descendant of that original zebra. Heck, maybe she even is that original zebra, and that for all this time, she or her bloodline has been ensuring all the baddies in Tartarus stay safely locked away.”

“Well, that is certainly one interesting interpretation of the Gilgamesh legend,” Twilight said, having listened to Pinkie Pie’s theory over a hayburger lunch. The party pony had even brought visual aids, a lot of crayon drawings with glitter. “I have one question, though.”

“Yes?”

“Why did you give all the characters on your pictures googly eyes?” Twilight pointed to one pair of eyes that had been glued onto the drawn face of the griffin.

“Because nothing is greater than giant googly gods.” Pinkie explained as she gave the illustration she was holding a little shake, causing all the googly eyes to bounce around.

Twilight could only roll her own eyes and chuckle. “I suppose that’s true enough for you, Pinkie Pie.”

Author's Note:

If you see typos, please report them via PM. The little bit of extra effort is greatly appreciated.