• Published 9th Mar 2016
  • 1,887 Views, 30 Comments

Mad Libs - Pen Stroke



You'll find a rampaging army of Rainbow Dash's, a chaos dealing Fancy Pants, cute coughs resulting in cuddling, and more, all in the same place. It's no mad house, it's Mad Libs.

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Chaos Marbles - [Slice of Life][Fancy Pants][Discord]

March 2016 Mad-Lib
Submitter: Briarpelt
Submission: This Comment
Pre-read & Editing: Illustrious Q, Kirk Heller, Kevinltk


It was a day like most others in Canterlot. No grand disaster was threatening to plunge Equestria into anarchy. No villain loomed with their devilish plan to steal magic, love, or the power of friendship that united the nation. Teachers taught their students. Florists made flower arrangements. Merchants sold their wares, and through the streets, one peculiar form of transportation rumbled, peddled by the stallion who sat atop.

A bicycle, with a particularly large front wheel and an equally particularly itty-bitty back wheel, wove gingerly through the streets, narrowly dodging passersby and carts. The driver, a gray-coated and black-maned stallion in a fancy, black tailcoat, made eye contact with no passerby. He just continued to peddle, whistling a merry tune. To others, it looked like he was paying no attention to where he was going, but by some miracle, no accidents were caused. The only damage wrought were panicked hearts and young ears assaulted by the colorful curses being shouted in the cyclist’s direction.

Eventually, the cyclist left the hustle and bustle of Canterlot’s core and began to peddle through the tree-lined streets of its wealthiest neighborhood. Manors with lavish grounds, hidden behind high walls and imposing gates, lined the streets. These were the homes of lords, ladies, and business giants.

As the cyclist rode, the gate to one of the most prestigious manors began to open. A simple gesture, but the cyclist adjusted his course. Soon, he was pulling in through the gate, a unicorn attendant using magic to close the gates promptly behind the cyclist. The stallion rode to the front steps of the manor, dismounting and passing his transportation to one of the manor staff. The staff only gave the slightest nod before gingerly rolling the large-wheeled machine away from the drive while the stallion slipped in through the manor’s front doors.

~~~

“As orderly as always. I think that’s what I hate most about this room.”

The cyclist arrived in the manor’s parlor, furnished in all the decadence the finest of Canterlot could craft. The doors were pulled shut behind him by the manor staff, leaving the cyclist in the presence of only one other pony. He was sitting in a high back chair, holding a newspaper and a glass of some liquor on the rocks in the gentle glow of his unicorn magic.

“How was the velocipede? Did you enjoy your ride?” the unicorn asked, not looking up from his paper.

The cyclist tugged at the collar of his suit, and like steam escaping from a hot tea kettle, the stallion’s body began to pour, shift, and expand into a new shape. Hooves became claws and paws. Wings and horns sprouted and grew into their regular size. Lastly, the pony’s eyes yellowed as the pupils became a vibrant red.

Discord began to unbutton the suit top, grimacing at each button that showed even the slightest protest to his efforts. “It’s wonderful. I loved it like listening to one of Twilight Sparkle’s lectures.”

“Did you cause any wrecks?” the unicorn asked as he turned the page of the newspaper.

“No, no accidents, no chaos. I was a model gentlestallion. I just about vomited with how normal I was being,” Discord said as he picked a clothing hanger off a hook on the back of the door and began to hang up his clothes.

“Considering you have vomited in the past, I’ll consider that progress.” The unicorn neatly folded the newspaper he had been reading, setting it down on a small side table before taking a final sip from his liquor. Fancy Pants then stood, a gentle smile resting just beneath his perfectly proper mustache. “A lovely ride through Canterlot on a wheeled vehicle without major incident is just the sort of thing a proper and dignified creature is capable of.”

Discord placed the suit, which was delicately hung on its hanger, back on the hook on the door before turning to glare at Fancy Pants. “And I thought being reformed was going to be torture.”

“Oh, you may belly ache, but this… particular protocol for properness the princesses prescribed is just what you needed.” An involuntary gag squelched out of Discord’s throat as his face contorted to match his level of internal discomfort. It was a sight that made Fancy Pants chuckle just a little. “Apologies, I forgot what alliteration does to your stomach.”

“No, you didn’t.” Discord turned and held out his lion paw. He made a small beckoning gesture, the claws of his paw extending a little in irritation and eagerness.

“Yes, I know. You’ve got places to be and chaos to cause. I don’t intend to keep you.” Fancy Pants levitated a small box from the table, one Discord had seen opened dozens of times before. A box that was enchanted similar to a bag that Discord had never seen but knew was hidden somewhere in the manor. Fancy clicked open the box, and from within, withdrew two small spheres. They were like marbles, smooth glass, but the insides swirled with strange, cosmic, chaotic energy. “Here, you deserve a double dose today. Two marbles.”

Discord snatched at the marbles, crushing them in his paw and shivering as though a cold bucket of water had been dumped on his head. For the first time since he had arrived at the manor, he began to float in the air. A smile flicked on his face for just a moment, but then his expression settled back into a glare that was focused squarely on Fancy Pants. “How generous of you.”

Turning, Fancy began walking back towards his chair and his newspaper. “Good days are to be rewarded, especially when you’ve been such a dignified draconequus.”

“How long do you and Celestia intend to keep me on this leash?”

“It is not a leash. It is a refinement program. You are free to be who you are when it is on your own time. But when you are asked to represent Equestria in the future, we all need an assurance that you won’t cause an international incident. Besides, as I’ve pointed out before, you have nobody to blame but yourself.”

“A guy loses his marbles once and you ponies won’t let him forget it.” Discord began to drift towards the door. “So when can I get another hit from my dealer?”

“Two marbles should get you through the weekend.” Fancy Pants began unfolding the paper, giving it a sharp snap to give a posture appropriate for reading. “We’ll have your next lesson on Monday. Perhaps a nice stroll around the neighborhood with a good walking cane.”

“Gag me with the cane.” Discord raised his eagle claw and snapped it, disappearing from the parlor as Fancy poured himself just a little more of his liquor. He was still smiling as he went back to reading his paper, the chaotic departure just another part of his organized and well-planned day.

Author's Note:

If you see typos, please report them via PM. The little bit of extra effort is greatly appreciated.