Ancient Wings, New Soul

by Kowlickkid

Chapter 13: Ponies Are Racist... Just Like People

Ponies Are Racist... Just Like People

It took a few days of flying and surviving off of small game, but we finally got out of that rainforest. At the moment, we were perched on a cliff overlooking Stalliongrad. From afar, it looked pretty impressive. Massive edifices lifted out of the ground, the whole thing surrounded by a moat which came in through many rivers and went out through others. And it was pretty gosh darn big.

Using my superior eagle eyes(U jelly?), I sighted in the numerous gates, which all had the same thing going on. A pony came through, and he/she paid a couple of coins to the toll guy. Some other species(which included griffins and diamond dogs, and a few other things) would walk up, and had to unload an unfair amount. It was clear what was going on here.

"Ponies get in easy, other species have to pay through the nose. We can't get in either way, because we don't have any coins. We'll have to get in the hard way."

I made a sweeping gesture with my hands. Dark stormclouds immediately came up and covered the sky.

"Okay, this is going to be the hard part. The distraction is set, now I'm going to have to slip in. My illusion isn't perfect, but if the attention isn't on me, noone should notice me."

Flare was already on my back, and so I tried once more to cast the invisibility spell, which I had been working on. To my delight, it actually worked, though I was still blurry. With a few flaps, I went above the clouds, preparing for a swift descent. Within a couple minutes, I was above the city. Looking down, many ponies were either running around like headless chickens or frozen like statues. The other species were just shrugging it off.

'Wusses.', proclaimed my weapon.

'I concur.'

Tucking my wings, I began my descent towards an alley. I wanted to do it quickly, but silently, so as to not attract attention. The wind whistled by my ear tufts, my eyes intently observing my altitude. As I neared, I gently opened my wings, slowing my pace gradually until I could come to a safe stop. I landed right on target, inside an alley, where I removed my invisibility spell.

"Flare, you conscious?"

He gasped for air.

"Mildly... But I would appreci-oof-ate it if you could stop smashing me... against the wall!"

I quickly stepped away from the wall I had been glued against.

"Sorry, forgot you were there. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah... Can you hand me my spleen, please?"

After getting over the fact that I had just seen him swallow a purple-ish cartoony organ(Did I really see that, or was it my imagination?), I ordered the storm to disperse. With a few crackles of lightning, it disappeared, and the citizens began getting back to their respective businesses, the ponies noticeably uneasy. I guessed that was just because they thought the storm was caused by something evil.

Of course, I just casually strolled across the street. What's so noticeable about a double-sized, apparently mutant griffin-thingamabob that is carrying a young dragon with weird markings on him as well as a very long dragonscale weapon... Wait. Maybe some people would find it a little weird.

Yet somehow, most attention lingered on me for little more than a few seconds. I knew that back on Earth, I would be followed by a crowd of people, most probably either mocking or just walking with faces that said 'My brain has exploded, and I still don't know why'. Yes, it's that specific of a face. Most of the other species didn't even give me a second glance, except maybe a couple griffins who I was pretty sure were female... Miiiiight wanna stay away from that. I'm pretty sure that upraised wings when looking at someone with a blush and a guilty smile means something rather mature. Don't say anything.

"What are we looking for here?", whispered Flare.

"Good question. We're looking for most anything. Information would be a good thing, trouble won't be the best, but it might liven up our journey a tad. Other than that, I'm not sure. Perhaps some supplies... except we don't have any money. That sure puts a damper on our visit."

"You are pretty random, Truenis."

"You could say that. At times, I seem to fly by the seat of my pants, so to speak."

"What are pants?"

"Irrelevant to this conversation at this time. In other words, I don't want to explain it."

"Fair enough."

************

"So tell me a bit more about magic, Flare, in case I don't know something."

"Magic surrounds everything and is in everything, from a simple rock to the strongest alicorn. The only place where magic is not are some places of Tartarus, where magic is null. Every living creature has an absorption rate of magic energy, which can increase or decrease depending on how much the magic is practiced and the species. Also, different places have different amounts of magic. Zebrica has a good amount of magic inside it. The rainforest we were in is also chock full, as is Equestria, from what I know. The more magic a country has, the more creatures absorb. In many occasions, non-sentient creatures become intelligent, and something sentient in one country could easily be dumb in another. Have I lost you?"

"Not particularly. Basically, everyone is a battery which takes in more or less energy depending on the charger and how the battery is built."

"That's one way to put it. Magic energy is dispensed through different means, though I suppose you know those. Another topic to talk about is the different types of magic. There are various divisions, some more common than others. The most common is elemental, which is divided into mostly air, nature, water, lightning, fire, ice, light and darkness. Another common one is arcane, which is used for things like teleportation, levitation, and various other spells of that type. Then there are some less common ones, which include transmogrification and some other minor divisions. Sometimes, but very rarely, an animal gets... infused with enough elemental magic to gain an attribute. For instance, the lightning dragon that your weapon is made out of. It's an extremely rare occurrence, but it happened. Elemental creatures are stronger than normal creatures, for obvious reasons, normally being able to control their element to a certain extent."

"So some batteries get super-charged with a special type of electricity... good to know. Good to know."

*****************

"Excuze-moi, monsieur, I will have to ask you to walk on ze other side of ze street, s'il vous plait?", said a white unicorn with a blue mane and a "french" moustache in an obviously fake French accent.

"Pardonnez-moi, monsieur, mais je peux aller oú j'ai besoin du aller. Now quit with the phony accent and tell me why."

The unicorn bristled, elegant suit glinting in the sun(that was mildly unsettling), ready to do battle. His voice dropped the accent.

"Good sir, you are frightening away the potential costumers. I ask you to move your bulk to an area where it won't be noticed, lest there be repercussions."

I stooped down to glare at him.

"You, my dear boy, are a stuck-up prissy rich boy, and I have no intention of doing that just because you think I'm scary. And if I'm scaring away clients to your restaurant where someone will have to pay a royalty for 3 inches of minced veggies, I do not care in the slightest. Now skedaddle back inside, waiter, sir, before I decide I'm hungry for horse meat."

******************

"HALT!", screamed an official-sounding voice from behind me.

I turned around to behold a stallion and a mare, both in rather impressive armor. The mare was a unicorn and the stallion, of the pegasus variety. Officials, no doubt.

"May I help you, officers?"

The stallion voiced his lines in a powerful voice.

"Sir and dragon, you are under arrest."

'WHAT!?'

'Shut up, Thunderhilt.'

I looked at Flare.

"You know what we did?", I whispered.

He simply shrugged. Returning my voice to normal, I addressed the pair of guards.

"Under what charges?"

"Being a public disturbance, insulting the waiter of a restaurant, carrying a weapon-", he started to recite. I interrupted him.

"Wait, I've seen plenty of others who are carrying weapons. So...?"

"Law here states that only ponies can carry weapons. Any other species must get an official licence from a figure with sufficient authority. Now as I was saying, carrying a weapon, entering the city illegally-"

"What?"

The mare responded to me, her voice young but forceful.

"Do you think we're dumb? Granted, we didn't see you come in, but during that freak storm most fliers could do it. Also, the guard would be notified of something of your size coming in the city. Troublemakers, griffins."

"I'm gonna be quick to point out that I'm not a griffin. Sheesh, everyone seems to think that. I don't know what is wrong with them. I've got four wings and four legs, for goodness sakes."

"The guard doesn't care. Just, do you have any other reasons for arrest?"

"Only one: questioning authority."

"... Now that's just rude."

"Now if you would be so kind as to hoof over your weapon right now, your grave need not be dug any deeper."

'Hoof over? Some part of me just died.'

"Very well then, here is my weapon. You may take me into custody."

I took Thunderhilt and lightly tossed it to him. He caught it nimbly on one hoof... then started screaming as blue sparks started jumping about. His flesh quivered, and the hair he had was all standing straight up. I also noticed one more thing.

"Flare, where'd you get the popcorn?"

Flare looked down at the box he had and shrugged.

"I saved it for a good time."

The stallion finally managed to throw Thunderhilt back at me, so I caught it and used it as a sort of staff against the ground.

"Oh, did I forget to mention there's a possibility that could happen? Pardon."

The mare looked at her twitching companion and shook her head.

"Just Iss,", she began.

Thunderhilt began laughing uproariously in my head, and I suppressed a smirk with difficulty.

"How many times do I have to tell you to wait for me to give the okay? I can feel the magic radiating off this guy even without using the spell. I don't know how he can do it, but he's a good caster."

The stallion shakily got to his feet.

"H-how about y-you take the sp-sp-sp-spear thing?"

The mare rolled her eyes and grabbed my weapon with telekinesis, action that wasn't very smart, as she too began lighting up like a Christmas tree. While she was being shocked, I pondered an important matter, stroking my chin.

"How come you both are white with a blue mane? Is it some kind of illusion spell that comes with the armor, or what?"

At that point, the unicorn finally got the brains to let go of Thunderhilt. Once again, I held it in my right arm and used it to steady myself. The unicorn's horn began to glow again.

"All guards in the nearby vicinity, report to this location, I repeat, report to this location. We need reinforcements to bring in a screw-loose giant chicken."

"Well that's not very nice. But I must say that both of you make a nice couple."

"WHAT!?", they both yelled.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll keep your secret. Though I don't know how you managed to keep it a secret. You act like you're already married. The bickering, the eye-rolling, the attitude that's meant to say 'He/She's my partner and that's all' but really means 'I got a crush on him/her'. It's so obvious."

To my delight, they began blushing and stammering.

"She's not..."

"He's totally..."

"Just look how stuck-up..."

"Impossible to deal with..."

"WE'RE NOT TOGETHER!!!", they finally managed to blurt out after a few minutes, by which time some other guards had already arrived.

I rolled my eyes.

"Sure, I totally believe you. So how'd a big lunk like you manage to score such a lovely young mare?"

It was too easy. The stallion let out a roar.

"I'M GONNA NAIL YOU TO THE WALL!!!"

He charged toward me. Of course, I had been expecting this. As he neared, I simply side-stepped and "accidentally" left my back leg out, which he tripped over. I began whistling casually. By this time, a ton more guards had shown up. One bulky guy stepped forward.

"Don't make this any harder on yourself than it already is, bird. Just hand over the weapon and come quietly."

These ponies were too much fun.

"Oh, very well then. Here, catch."

The stallion, an earth pony, I believe his kind was called, got into a battle stance, interpreting my phrase as a prelude to me winging it at him as hard as I could. Needless to say, he was surprised when I just tossed it in front of him.

"Or don't catch it. Your choice, really."

He slowly approached the weapon, eyes on me at all times. He kneeled down, still giving me a stare. I was impressed with his dedication to not blinking. Until of course, he touched Thunderhilt.

*BBZZZZZZZZZT**BOOM*

It was comical really. The minute one pony would stop getting shocked, another one would try it's hand.

"The true definition of insanity is doing the same thing exactly the same way and expecting different results.", I whispered to Flare.

"Words of wisdom. I wonder if we should tell them."

"Nah, they probably wouldn't understand some of the words. Such as 'true', 'way', or 'the'. Those can be hard words."

We had a quiet chuckle to ourselves. Finally, the guards got tired of shocking themselves.

"Okay, you can hold on to your weapon for now. We'll find some way to pry it away from you."

"That's good to know.", I responded in an innocent voice, levitating Thunderhilt to me.

At that moment, a pegasus grabbed Flare off my back and held him in his wing.

"I'll just hold onto this little guy, to assure your... cooperation."

I didn't really like the sound of that. Neither did Flare, apparently. But the good news was: I finally got to see how Flare keeps getting things when I'm not looking!

He throws them up.

As in, he vomits them up.

...

Seriously, he made a little retching noise, and the ukulele, which I feel might be a good idea to point out it's BIGGER than him, popped out of his mouth into his hand.

You know, I wonder whether somebody can get extreme brain damage from being hit with a ukulele in the back of the head...

Meh, he'll get over it.

***************

Eventually, we reached an accord. I would go to jail with my weapon and with Flare, in a manner in which the guard was surrounding me completely, and keeping 16 eyes on me at once, at least.

When we reached the jail, I was impressed. It was a huge tower, shaped like the rook of a chess game, with a base that I assumed was the main office. Going in, they escorted me up about 15 flights of stairs to a room that only had one cell.

"Welcome to one of the high security cells. The only contact you will have with others will be with the guards and your cellmates. And don't even think about escaping."

It was nice, your typical jail cell. A couple of hard beds, a table, a couple of chairs, and little else. When we stepped inside, the door was shut and three unicorns locked it in turn.

"The bars are made of reinforced arcanite. Not even dragonscale can cut through it. And I don't recommend trying to break them; the force will be returned back at you, triple-fold.", said the unicorn. I believed it was the mare that had first encountered me.

"Okay, so how long am I in here for?"

"Until further notice."

"Meals?"

"You're gonna hate 'em."

"Entertainment?"

"What does this look like, a dinner-and-a-show pub?"

"Mint on top of pillows?"

"I'm gonna go. Too much insanity might get to my head."

"There was already a profound display of insanity back at the scene, my dear."

But she was already gone.

"Well, I'm bored. Ideas on breaking out, Flare?"

"I'll brainstorm later."

"Excellent idea. I'm gonna sleep."

"Hey, Truenis?"

"Yes, Flare?"

"How did we get into all this exactly?"

"This is a cartoon world. And thus, I know nothing, nothing"

Seargent Schultz, continue bestowing your wise sayings upon us humble mortals.

***************

A dreamscape... again. I knew that Chaos was going to show up sooner or later, but there was a key difference with the place: it was completely black. Did this symbolize the darkness I had chosen by breaking the law? Or something different?

"Not hardly.", said a voice next to my ear suddenly.

I jumped back. It's not everyday that you get shocked by the entity of chaos, while he's hanging upside-down in a half-dream, half-reality dimension.

"Haven't seen you around, Chaos."

He looked a lot different. He was dressing a business suit that would have looked quite professional... had it not been hot pink. His face looked a lot ovaler(I'm making it a word) than usual, but he still had those cheesy-yellow dentures.

"I've been busy."

"So, what's the scoop on Vex?"

He sighed and rubbed his temples.

"I believe he said he was sent by Revenge?"

"Yes, he did."

"Well, he was. By Revenge, capital R. That girl really knows how to hold a grudge."

"Hold a grudge?"

"Well, let's just say that about 3 thousand years ago she was subject to one of my prank streaks. And of course, she has to go all cliché and say 'revenge is a dish best served cold' and wait for a few millenia to get back at me. And she does that by taking someone who wants revenge on you and booting him into this world, with a few alterations."

"Hmph. A cliché? We've been around so long that nothing could not be a cliché. You always were mentally unstable, Chaos.", suddenly said a new, female voice.

The voice was chilling, pitiless. Something resembling the caretaker at the orphanage. Looking to the left, I saw that the black of our surroundings was being penetrated by a combination of white and blue. But not the good kind of white and blue; the kind that looked sinister, like ice and bleached bones. A feminine figure slowly came into view. She was hovering above the ground, and was rather slim. Her body was white, with a few blue accents, such as in her flowing ethereal mane that extended behind her at a tremendous length. She didn't have a mouth or nose, and her eyes were just glowing blue slits. She didn't have many other details either.

"Ah, Revenge. I figured you would stop by. Disappointed that your piece was too weak to beat mine? Well, knight takes bishop."

"Foolish Chaos, this is not the end. The true power of my piece has not yet been revealed. You will suffer for making my ice cream spicy." She turned to me. "So, you are Truenis, or Tyler, as I should say. Hmph, you are not much. I shall have words with my piece. To lose to one such as you is insulting."

"If you say so.", I replied.

"Don't fret, Revenge. The game will go on longer than you would expect. I have had plans for my piece for... a long time. Now away with you. Depart from this realm.", intervened Chaos.

"I will have my revenge. I will laugh last, with the sweetest revenge. Beware, both of you."

With that parting shot, Revenge disappeared.

"Well, she's charming."

"Quite. I never paid much attention to her until she revealed she had a crush on me. Scary thought, right?"

"Yes..."

"That's not quite the only reason you're here."

"Oh?"

"Listen, one of the reasons you've gotten this far with not so much trouble is because you got some 'guardian angels'. Now, you're really going to need to be careful, because the help is just about over. You're true magic power is much weaker, as is your physical body, so be careful. You are going to need to train."

"Does this have something to do with the fact that you've got plans for me? What's up with that, anyway?"

"Well, erm... uh... Gee whiz, look at the time! Time for you to wake up!"

That said, he punched me, and I began to wake up.

*****************************************

Revenge scowled. She had been put through much embarrassment around the entity community after what had happened. She arranged a meeting with her piece. She was going to discipline him harshly. Failure was not going to be permitted any longer. With a flash, Vex was before her. The creature looked around him, confused.

'Pitiful fool.', she thought. 'The fact that I've been able to do so much with him already is astonishing.'

Finally, Vex noticed her.

"Ah, it is the Revenge-ing entity..."

"Quiet, fool. I have no time for your broken speech, so I will make myself clear."

"B-but Revenge! What is being the cause of the anger which troubles you."

Revenge stretched out a hand and took him by the throat.

"Listen, and listen closely, pawn.", she began, her voice dangerously soft, yet sharp. "You are not impressing me. You have no excuse to have not destroyed him. Because of you, I have become a laughingstock."

"B-b-but..."

"SHUT UP!!", she screamed at him. "I AM NOT PLEASED WITH YOU! You designed your own body and powers, which took away seven ninths of my reserves. Do you realize how long it will take for me to recuperate?"

Vex tried to reply but she squeezed on his throat harder.

"You do not want to know. And do you know how much power Chaos spent on that miserable urchin he calls a knight? One fifteen-hundredth of what I spent. And yet he still defeats you! Pathetic Vex, you will not fail again. I may not have much power, but I can dedicate a good portion of it so as to make every waking moment of the rest of your life screaming in agony. Do I make myself clear?"

The black-skinned humanoid frantically nodded, and she let go of him, leaving him sprawled on the ground. She gazed at him a moment before lifting a foot and slamming it down on his chest, effectively expelling him from the dream world.

"Truenis... You may want to watch your back, lest you find a dagger in it. Threndal!"

A figure clothed in white appeared out of nowhere.

"I am here, master. Order me as you wish."

"You will follow Vex, and should the situation arrive, assist him. If it is not imperative, merely watch from the sidelines. If he does anything you opinion to be unsatisfactory, report to me. I trust your judgement.

"As you command, master."

The creature winked out of existence.

"Serve me well, Threndal. You may find a reward."

Well, chapter 13. Feeling unlucky, anyone? Before anyone asks, I just had to have Flare hork up his stuff. Call it a little shout-out to Rico of the Penguins of Madagascar. As for Vex, everyone liked him so much I had to put him in again, but this time, getting dominated by his sponsor. One thing's for sure, I wouldn't like serving Revenge. She seems a little... icy. Unless, of course, she gave me the cold shoulder. Well, thanks for reading, and keep your stick on the... ice.(Fine, I stop puns... I can see I'm treading on thin... ice.)

Comments

[Liqwidice]

I'd say that for Flare, anything he swallows is dissolved by his flames and dropped into "flame space". He can belch it back up the same way Spike belches up letters. Or instead of the item traveling to a destination, the glitter powder it becomes just sits in his crop till he calls it back up.

[Moon_Fire]

Well... your puns were a little... half-frozen. But I can forgive them because of the allusion to Madagascar and I have one last thing to say:

KABOOM!!!!!!!

images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/5300000/Penguins-penguins-of-madagascar-5323111-583-334.jpg

[Tay the Chemist]

If Revenge was being literal when she talked about spicy ice cream, I'll have you know that wasabi ice cream exists. And according to the person I heard about it from, it's not bad.
So, what did this do to be declared non-canon in the Chessverse?

[AppleTank]

1392094
I like it. Instead of being blown away,nFlare inhales it, and keeps it inside him. Trueinis should use his abilities like a backpack.

[Literature]

I notice a distinct lack of the last thing you said in every other chapter so far.
It would fit in the pun category as well.
So put it in.
...
Must... Not... Sa-
Bowchickabowwow
DAMMIT!

[IkioStar]

Pun it up!
Pun it down!
Pun it all around!
PUNS ARE WONDERFUL!
PUNS ARE GREAT!
I'M GONNA STOP TALKING LIKE THIS, LESS I GET PUNCHED BY A GUY NAMED NATE!