Spring Showers
Joined 4th Mar, 2016 ·
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Awesome work, keep it up
You're sure this is your first work? Surely you mean your first work on this site, right? This looks a lot better refined than most first pieces I've seen.
I like the idea behind this. In fact I'm liking it more than I am my own Nightmare Night story.
6999530 No, I really mean this is my first piece of MLP fiction period. This isn't my first writing period although I'll admit it's actually been years since I wrote an actual at length story. Thank you very much though.
This is very well written and quite entertaining. I look forward to whatever you have next.
I KNOW WHICH PICTURES YOU ARE REFERRING TO...
I AM OFF, TO SEE THE PICTURES.
Intriguing. Looking forward to more!
T
Looking good so far.
Streaking time!
Love it!
Poor Applejack and Rainbow Dash. This won't end well, will it?
As I read this so far, a thought came to me. That being that if I was doing this story myself and went with the painted on costume, I would've spent a fair bit of the chapter coming up with a reasoning as to why Rainbow Dash didn't combine that sports equipment and body paint to at least make herself look like a zombie survivor who didn't make it; bloody baseball bat and bite marks on various parts of her body. That's just how my mind works.
Things just keep getting more and more interesting in this story.
Dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn! Fun chapter!
T
You are in dire need of a beta.
7019527 I am going to assume you mean something like a beta or a proof reader. I am aware of the fact, and would only be too happy to have one, if I knew anyone who'd be comfortable with this kind of content enough to actually do so. If you mean something else by beta, then I have no clue what you mean and would appreciate clarification. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment though.
Small typo:
Pretty sure you mean Rainbow, not Rarity.
About halfway through the chapter you start referring to Applejack as "Apple Jack."
Good story so far! I wish some of the descriptions of their bodies were a bit more detailed—for example, when Fluttershy bends over at the start of the story—but other than that, it's pretty nice. Looking forward to more.
7028764 you are right. Thank you. It is fixed now.
As well as the matter of Apple Jack vs Applejack. I let a friend get a little into my head while I was writing it that kind of confused me about whether it should be one word or two before you pointed it out.
On to the next chapter!
Oh Fluttershy, kindness will get you killed one day, but damn do we love you.
Next stop, Nude Partay! Well, more conversations, and acclimatization, THEN NUDE PARTAY! On to the next chapter!
Well this is getting interesting
I doubt if Princess Twi could care less considering dress sense where she's from.
What, no reviews for the new chapter? I'm disgusted.
Alright, first off, there's a few grammar issues to deal with, like commas being in the wrong place in some areas. Also is the [uh] in some areas, I think you meant to use the line break option which is [ hr ] instead.
Things advanced quickly, but considering the topic was being discussed fairly constantly, that might actually be expected. Pinkie getting things kicked off and acting natural despite being naked, that would probably make sense for why the others are willing to join in and give it a try.
Overall it was a fun read, and I'm seriously looking forward to seeing what comes next.
7089093 Thank you for pointing that little matter out to me. Totally spaced on actually double checking the line breaks thing. As far as my grammar errors, yeah. I'll admit I was in a bit of a hurry to actually post it after finally getting rolling on it after so many false starts and might not have double checked it as thoroughly as I should have. I fixed the hrs and may go over and fix those too at another point.
Very goood chapter
Great Chapter~hug
A day of RD trying to explain big knockers would have a been a fun chapter but good story nevertheless.
I knew there was a side of Fluttershy.
It sounds like Pee Twi.
wow way to dis yourself nicely done
Will there be a sequel?
7151302
At this time, I do not plan to do a sequel. Inspiration may strike and I may at some point do a sequel for this. But I have no plans for such at the moment.
7151316
Oh okay. Tell me if you do.
You have a great story here, it was wonderfully done.
So, A person who uses the letter D, creates chaos through his dealings, and is rather shady? Is that Discord?
7160628
Pretty much supposed to be. Basically just a fun silly reference to that hilarious mcguffin you can use to justify most anything gone wrong.
I really enjoyed reading this. Not too many "casual nudity" fics out there. Nice job.
7162123 I really hope that naked slumber party fic happens. Can you make it a sequel to this story, and have Rarity strip down?
While breasts, butts, and pubic hair are mentioned, this story is more comedy than mature. The only reason you would tag it as mature, would be if the girls inspected each other by hand and mouth to see the differences. This is just a mild ENF funny story. I rate it Teen
7151316 This deserves a sequel or two, it was well written without going too far on shall we say...bits! First on the slumber party notion for a couple chapters wouldn't be bad. Second maybe next years nightmare night, with maybe a clothing mishap with Principals Tia, Luna and maybe even Cadance getting caught up in, then seeking refuge at nearest students home being Flutters. Then by default getting included in the nudist party and enjoying themselves, bonding with their students a little differently to what they'd expected. Maybe include the rest of the mane 6 this time from Equestria? Just some thoughts. The following year could have the rest of the princesses joining in to catch up with their other selves out of curiosity.
Would there be any chance if I could right a sequel to this with your permission? So many comedy ideas and this is the story arc that could use them up. Please?
Delete repeat.
Nightmare Night
line
meant
delete 'her'
cook