• Member Since 10th May, 2015
  • offline last seen Jan 30th, 2018

Sparkletop Rainbows


Just a pegasister who's a huge fangirl on the inside. She follows back and would love to be your friend! (Avatar found at http://swa-oku.deviantart.com/art/Hetalia-Fan-Art-Samovar-Teatime-360787743)

T
Source

Roseluck was a local living in Ponyville. She was friends with a pony named Bonbon. But Roseluck happens to stumble on a secret that she never knew Bonbon kept. Now that she knew Bonbon was a secret agent, the organization sees her as a threat. But because of Bonbon, Princess Celestia decides to let Roseluck join the agency instead of killing her. But if she proves herself worthy, of course.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 10 )

Some errors I stumbled upon.

"I only have 2. I don't have much money to afford any others."

In cases of numbers lower and equal to twelve, you write them as words. (At least that's how I learned it.)

"I'm sure Bonbon wouldn't hide anything from me, she's my friend," I say to myself.

*said

I know on Bonbon's door.

*knocked (?)

I tapped the door know with my hoof.

*now or *knob

"Sweetie Drops, your going to have us found."

*you're – Somehow a really common mistake nowadays.

The guards walked up to my cell and reported, "yes, princess."

Hmmm. I'm unsure about the use of capitalization on titles such as Princess. But I'm pretty sure that that "yes" is supposed to have big Y :derpytongue2:

"very well. She can only be an agent if she proves herself worthy. Otherwise, she'll be killed."

*Very

Because of your foolishness, your fired.

*you're

Bonbon let a smile small cross her lips

*small smile

My parents were agents, and so were my grandparents. Even my sister is.

...and she's just telling her that?!

And one final thing: this is rated E for Everypony, yet they talk about death...

Okay, this was pretty neat written. Waiting for the second chapter :yay:

7001056

Thank you for telling me! I didn't realize those mistakes.

Then yo can stay warm

*you

surprised to see Bonbon wasn't disturbed by the freeing temperature.

*freezing

Comeome

*Come on

"Not that bad?"I questioned. "I am in the freezing cold for Celestia's sake!"

Missing a blank between "bad" and "I".

"Okay, onto to next situation.."

"Okay, onto to the next situation..."

MOAR.

Celestia said that you've go a month to train up

*got

I sigh. Alright, fine. Where are we training?"

Missing a " here.

Oh man, I can't believe I found this... a month after reading a fallout x MLP that involves a bit of Espionage made me watch joker game and now I finally found this. :pinkiehappy:

Hmm, Roseluck the luckiest agent to ever live...:ajsmug: Oh sorry its just a me imaging thing again :raritywink:

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