Twilight believed she was Princess Celestia's most faithful and only student – until the day that Sunset Shimmer stole her crown.
Surely, she thought, that that was the end of the students of whom Celestia had neglected to tell her.
But a package delivered to Twilight's door brings evidence that even Sunset wasn't the first, and worse still, that she wasn't the only Royal apprentice to mysteriously disappear!
For the first time in her life, Twilight is rocked by doubt regarding her mentor. Is the package a warning? Can Princess Celestia be trusted? Is Twilight the next apprentice destined to meet an untimely end?
Thanks to Lightning Farron for prereading, and heavy thanks to Dafaddah for a ton of editing.
Chapters (1)
A good piece of fiction. Hopely it will get more readers. Thank you for an exciting read.
Wow this was really sad... Does Luna even know about this?
Where does Luna come in all of this?
Interesting, I'm going to be watching this one.
The Dread Pirate Roberts.
7127985
... I hadn't made that connection.
It's pretty cool, though.
7127985
There was even a Princess Buttercup mention here too.
I loved this, and I'm keeping an eye out for the epilogue, but I have a ton of questions.
What will happen when Cadence dies--as in, will Equestria realize that it's possible for an alicorn to die? For that matter, why wasn't she in line to become Celestia in the first place? What about Sunset Shimmer, since we know she's living as herself in the mirror universe? Was Twilight just chosen quickly afterwards, still under Brilliant Beacon, or was it the previous Celestia who had to last longer? What about Luna, what happened with her banishment? Who is the concerned citizen, and will Twilight find out and quiet their fears somehow?
7127985 Yes! Yes, exactly!
My problem with this story is simple, it focuses on emotion over logic. Granted, it does what it's trying to do beautifully, as this story really plays with your emotions and tugs at your heart strings...
But the blatant disregard for logic is downright appalling to me. Allow me to sum it up: Nothing is explained.
Why do they need to pretend to be Celestia? Never explained. Why do they need to wipe themselves from history? Never explained. Who is Luna? How does she fit in? Never explained. Didn't any of the previous students have friends? Why did none of them notice the students being wiped from history? What's to stop Twilight's friends from getting suspicious when she's wiped from history? NEVER. EXPLAINED.
I'm going to keep myself optimistic for now, since there's a epilogue in the works, and that may explain all of this, although I highly doubt it will, but until then? This is, to me, just a failed execution of an interesting idea.
Interesting alternate take, don't really jive with how I see Equestria working but that's not really a issue with the writing now it is? Just preference. Does leave lots of questions open, does the Mantel change the wear's personality? Was there ever a real Celestia or was she always some pony playing the part? Does Luna work the same way? Will Cadance be expected to replace Luna? Though Cadance is known to be mortal, rules her own Kingdom and had an Alicorn child. Does that mean the Crystal Empire avoided this same problem by letting ponies know their Queen was mortal? Allowing them to just bear children to take up the role of King or Queen.
I could easily see Twilight spending years focusing on a way to have Celestia pass the mantel of princess of the sun with out having to pass the identity of Celestia along with it. Would Equestria really become unstable if it was just a line of Solar Princess ascendants rather than an immortal ruler?
... OK, while I liked this, and the writing is pretty good, I have some issues. Namely, THIS WHOLE CHARADE MAKES NO SENSE!!! Why on Earth would you waste time and energy deleting a mare's entire existence so she can take up "the Mantle of the Sun", instead of having normal laws of succession. This isn't knocking Brilliant Beacon or Aurora Borealis, since it was showed what happens when there isn't a Celestia; this is instead directed at the Original Princess. Why would she saddle her successor with taking up her mantle, instead of just naming her student her heir? Sure one might say that "Oh, but if she did that, then there could of been uppity nobles!" or something along those lines. I would respond with "So?" A strong monarch would be able to deal with such a uprising. Celestia Prime was in a position where she would be able to dictate new laws of succession when she and Luna defeated Discord. Speaking of Luna, how does she factor into all this? Does she know that the mare she called her sister is long dead? Is she in on the charade, putting on a mask to support the Pseudolestias' power? Why would she do this? WHY WOULD EITHER OF THEM DO THIS? WHY?!? ARGH!
... I'm calm now. But my point still stands. Celestia Prime put a pointless burden on her successors, and it makes no sense to continue this charade. But that's just me.
Also, I'm just going to throw all of this into spoilers.
definitely opens up debate on the reason for why they need a new Celestia and how the first Celestia came into being. Can't wait for the epilogue but also can't wait to see this universe expanded.
7128929
Ya, pretty much this.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? This story sounds familiar like maybe I've read a story like this one before. Either way, I liked it.
7128929 The reason for all of this is to make the other nations believe that there is an immortal divine ruler that will wreck their shit if they oppose it. Also, claiming that you rule by "divine right" is much easier than actually having to justify your actions.
7128835
You have the right of it in one way, comprehensive explanations were ousted in favor of emotional character moments and for pacing. I could have included more explanations, but I was focused on the emotional part of the story, so the explanation only happened if it forwarded the emotion.
As far as "blatant disregard for logic"...
Not giving the explanation isn't quite the same as disregarding logic. Although I think I understand the frustration because not explaining anything could conceal having no decent explanation to give. And just the frustration of having more questions than answers anyway.
7128836
A lot of the questions asked are really good ones. (Not just by you.)
Not all of them are going to be answered by the epilogue, because I want to save some for future, and because some of them are simply things that no character knows for sure, but hopefully the epilogue will at least make clear what is intended to be imperfect answers.
7129088
You know, when I was writing it I hadn't read anything like it.
But then, looking at this story's similar bar I saw a story by ocalhoun. And I knew, as soon as I saw the short description, that it was gonna have the same twist. Although it had more twists, too.
So yeah, you probably read that, before.
7130840 Like actual monarchs claimed in the real world. It's not that big of a deal for a throne to change hands (or in this case, hooves) over the course of generations. I'm just saying that the charade is pretty pointless. After all, none of the other nations have a immortal ruler (that we know of). Of course, none of this explains why Prime started this in the first place. Ugh... I know at the end of the day it really doesn't, but this is what entertains me.
7131271 Well, yes, but it comes with a slew of new problems. Slaughtering nobles aside, or however Equestrians deal with such problems, there would also be assassination-attempts on the soon-to-be ruler ad attempts to get on her good side. Then there is the fact that divine rule was primarily secured via bloodlines and not simply handing it over, which would raise a whole new amount of questions. And to the point of no other nation having an immortal ruler... so what? It doesn't make the threat of having a literal god come over and wreck your shit any less useful. In fact, I'd say that it's a plus for Equestria to have the only being of such power available. As to why prime started this... Well, I'd have a theory: Let's assume that Celestia Prime was the pony that banished Luna to the moon, thus loosing the Elements. Without the elements, she didn't have a nuke-everything-instantly weapon anymore, so she had to come up with a new idea as to why it would be a bad idea to oppose her. What better way than claiming to be absolutely immortal and powerful beyond belief? It would explain why Equestria wasn't annihilated during the times the elements were inactive and it would show us why there are only threats to them now that the old villains are back: Because, other than the rest of the world, they know that alicorns aren't immortal and can be beaten. Sure, after the wedding, the whole world knows the unbeatable part is a fraud, but now instead of gaining something, the government would loose something from not keeping the charade up: The trust and possibly loyalty of their subjects. I mean, only because it is a given in our world that politicians have forked togues that make snakes envious, doesn't mean Equestrians expect the same.
As for why this wouldn't have raised suspicions before... Well, let's just say that Twilight is largely considered one of the smartest unicorns the same way there have to be top 5-students at a school for very special people
...
Eh. It's alright.
7131337 That brings up a major problem I have with this fandom. I feel like people overestimate the practical use of the Elements. Let's look at the threats they've been used on or threatened to be used on. An Immortal Moon Goddess, an Immortal Chaos Spirit, an entire army of shapeshifting psychic vampires, and a centaur that can CONSUME THE MAGIC OF AN ENTIRE SPECIES, ONE WHO COULD CONTEND WITH THE COMBINED POWER OF 4 ALICORNS!! Do you notice a theme between all of those? They really aren't what one could call mundane problems. They aren't something that the military could deal with. But then again, what did the Elements do to the three that it did get used on? Banish one to the moon, and then cleansed her of an outside influence (if the comics are to be believed.), petrified one twice, and stripped the other of its stolen power (if I remember correctly, the EoH were used by the Diarchs to depower him the first time he was imprisoned. Even if they weren't, I think that the Rainbow Power works in much the same way as the Elements). This tells us that there is some form of limit to their power, in that the can't truly affect a being itself, and instead strips unnatural influences from them (Or, in the case of Discord, who is completely unnatural, stops him from having any effect on the world). These tools are obviously not something you would use on a bog standard invasion force (I know that the Changelings were just such a force, but, again, they aren't quite natural). I will concede on the no immortal ruler point, I wasn't quite thinking as I typed up that response due to guests. But still, I don't think that your explanation is satisfactory. Also, I doubt that there hasnt been people trying to curry favor with Celestia or her students by others, so I'm a bit confused why you added that clause to the assassination plot.
7131990 Eh... I'd be kinda careful with calling "war" something mundane... it's kinda something really terrible when you think about it.
On note of the elements, there is the case of the significantly weakened Luna: If all the elements did were to remove the nightmare, she would have no reason to be weakened, or to even have been on the moon at all. And that is only IF the comics are canon, because if not, Luna was still an alicorn and no more "unnatural" than Celestia, which means the elements would't have worked at all if the only thing they did were strip them from "unnatural" power. It also doesn't explain Discords petrification: If the elements can banish him, why did they not do that instead? Or why didn't they petrify Nightmare Moon?
Now, to be somewhat less destructive, let's say the elements DO indeed remove ALL unnatural influences. That would include the Nightmare, it would include Discords and Tireks power too... because all of them are magic, and thus unnatural. If that were the case, we would have solved why they work the way they did: Tirek wasn't vanquished, but drained, at which state he was vulnerable enough to be beaten, Discord is a spirit of chaos, so it can be assumed (even if it can't be proven) that draining him of magic will cease all animation and leave only the current shell he made himself and Luna would be banished (as Alicorns are magical beings to a high degree) as well as the Nightmare... and when she was blasted again, this time without a battle that weakened her, the Nightmare vanished and Luna was left in the magicless, weak state she was in the second episode.
How does this translate to our conversation? Well, think about some Tabletop-Games and RPGs you know. Ever heard of the term "buffing"? If yes, you can imagine what immense power it is to not only dispel them, but also prevent the caster in question from getting them up again any time soon. If not: A "buffed" fighter, in most systems, would slaughter an unbuffed one without effort, and from that information you can imagine how such a war would go...
7127446
I have no idea, but I'd be inclined to think she's dead/kaput/etc if the real Celestia is long gone.
I can't really see Twilight as okay with this, also she has her own castle/domain. If anything, a more mature version of her would let Celestia/Brilliant Beacon go into the night as it were and possibly do something to return her previous students to history. Really I have to concur with the others that this feels like a self-destructive charade. A logical possibility was that something happened to the real Celestia and it was her first "replacement" that started this nonsense.
six month checkup.
7632831
... Jeez it has been six months, hasn't it?
Basically, I figured getting out something else would be easy, because it's just the epilogue, but instead I didn't figure out a plan I liked going forward. Eventually I stopped trying to brainstorm.
But screw it, it's been six months, I need to see if I can get something out.
Consider my pants kicked.
Criminy, that felt very powerful. I see why you are proud of it. Very well done!
Two year checkup.
But seriously, it’s my first time reading this and I don’t see the issues with this that others have found. Most of the concerns can be easily reasoned out, or at least guessed at to (my personal) satisfaction.
I mean, going back to the original “list of complaints” in the comments:
Why do they need to pretend to be Celestia? Never explained. Except it’s stated that the last time someone refused the mantle, there was a war that took years to resolve despite only being between Celestia’s for a few weeks. And if it’s referring to the “why do it at all” then consider that to the world, Celestia and Luna were probably the first Alicorns. Willful enough to help bind the tribes, because let’s face it, generations of racism don’t disappear overnight. Magically powerful enough to control the Sun and Moon on their own rather than as part of a larger team. Bound to ancient artifacts tied to the very planet. All those things seen by Equestria as holding them together, keeping them safe; seen from other countries as a force to never be reckoned with. And then they just DIE? Of old age? This was probably seen as the route to lead to the least conflict, rather than a chain of succession. Heirs can be good, bad, strong or weak, but Celestia is always Celestia. I mean, who would want to mess with what seems to be a literal immortal avatar of the sun and moon?
Why do they need to wipe themselves from history? Never explained. If we accept that the above is seen as the only way of maintaining peace (and the war mentioned in the story supports it) then probably to stop future students a.k.a. Children from freaking out and no one wanting to be her student when they all seemingly die at 30.
Who is Luna? How does she fit in? Never explained. Since she spent a thousand years on the moon, possibly the original Luna. She might not even know that Celestia isn’t Celestia.
Didn't any of the previous students have friends? Sunset clearly didn’t, and one is listed as having family and descendants, so it appears they run the gamut.
Why did none of them notice the students being wiped from history? Because when you’re a child you don’t think about who your teacher has taught before you, and as an adult you’ve got adult things, princess things, and it’s been in the back of your mind so long you just accept it without thinking about it.
What's to stop Twilight's friends from getting suspicious when she's wiped from history? NEVER. EXPLAINED. They’ll think she died, and since Twilight is the only studious bookworm of them all, might never look. Their kids might be born before then, or if not will grow up on stories from their parents, but after that, they’re not going to care because they’re children and Celestia will have a new student by then.
While most of these are just me guessing, they’re fairly educated guesses that didn’t need support from the story beyond what was already there. Are they “canon” to the story? Who knows, but they’re good enough guesses that they seem to fit and are acceptable to me as probable truths. Still hoping for the epilogue though.
So, this was just added to a list about waiting for it. And I hadn't remembered I promised an epilogue... and I have lost my notes on this story. I don't remember what I wanted for an epilogue. I vaguely remember some ideas for some kind of followup, but I don't remember what I aimed for for an epilogue. The story is basically done, so I'm going to mark it as such.
Well this is incredibly depressing. Great story.