• Published 3rd May 2017
  • 3,187 Views, 18 Comments

Horses Before Ricks - dereturd

  • ...
13
 18
 3,187

"Discord!"

"Discord?"

"Rick?"

"Discord!"

"Rick!"

"Discord?" Morty asked. Weirded out by the situation. Rick and.. to Morty it looks like a chimera, know each other?

"Morty! Meet Discord! Discord, meet my grandson Morty!" Rick introduced, as he grabbed and pulled Morty in front of the draconeques. Morty took a quick glance and sheepishly smiled and waved at him.

"Ugh... Hi?" He said. While Discord stroked his beard, before smiling and remembered him.

(1)"Oh! Hello Morty! I am, Sair Disscordè!" Discord said, as he now wore a french waiter costume while giving a french accent to introduce himself. "Or you could call, me Discord for short." He said, popping back to normal. "I'm the Lord of Chaos!"

"What?!" Morty suddenly shrieked out.

"You're grandfather here has mentioned you time to time! Boy I'm so glad we met!" He said. Elongating his claw and wrapping it around Rick's neck.

"Why, are you even here *urp* Discord?" Rick asked.

"Oh! Well this is where I live!" He exclaimed. Discord snapped his paws where in front of them showed a portrait of Discord's house.

"Wow, big surprise huh?" Rick said.

"Um, how did you two even meet?" Morty asked.

"I'm glad you asked, M-M-Morty." Rick said, putting his hands on Morty's shoulders. "We go waaaayyy back! To him it's been 4 years but to me it's been 5000 years ago!"

"WHAT?!" Morty suddenly shocked from Rick's explanation.

"Don't worry, I'm still 81. Our time goes slower than his."

"Oh."

"Anyway, we um, met at a party. A party that only consisted of four."

"Hey, that was Bill's idea."

"Either way, it was still a great party."

"Um, who were invited exactly?"

"Well, the guy who *urp* invited us was, a yellow triangle with black arms and legs with only one eye, a top hat and a bow tie, aaand he was a dream demon." Morty, still getting shocked from what Rick's encountered. He thought he's seen it all but Rick's seen beyond. "He invited Discord here, and another guy who was.. a fat ass skeleton. With a blue hoodie, black shorts, and pink slippers. He also likes ketchup and puns."

"Remember his jokes?" Discord said.

"Yeah. Good times. And then he invited me. It was a good party and all, and we had fun." Rick said, finishing his explanation. "I'm also sorry for not inviting you to my party back at Earth. Have you heard that?" Rick added.

"Yes I did. Don't be sorry, Abradolf Lincler was there so I won't bother." Discord said.

'I regret knowing about this.' Morty thought as the two old friends laughed. The 14 year old teenager then remembered what they were supposed to do. So he had to yell it out loud. "RICK! WE GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE REMEMBER?!"

"Yeah yeah." Rick said, he was about to open his mouth to talk to Discord until a sound, similar to a jet flying by interrupted them. Rick let out his 'W' face as the sound booms across the forest. The trio pondered and stopped for a moment, until Morty broke the silence.

"Um, what the hell was that?" Morty asked.

"Oh! The reason I'm here in the first place is that-"

"JUST GET TO THE POINT!!" Morty rudely interrupted and yelled at Discord.

"Jeez Morty, calm down, the spirit of chaos is getting there." Rick said, taking out and took a swig from his flask.

"Anyway, the reason why I'm here in the first place is to do Celestia a favor. There was a break-in at Twilight's castle and I was told to find the theives. So I guess I found the theives! But in case I didn't find them, the scouts and drones are looking around the forest to find you two themselves." Discord explained, while he told them the scenario he reenacted his sentence word per word.

"Woo, this is really important to them. Anyway, can you take us to your place?" Rick requested. Discord willingly obliged by nodding, so with a snap of a finger they were poofed to Discord's living room. Rick was surprised, not that his house was reverse since he had already been here, but because of his loyalty even though they haven't hanged out that long and was willing to go against Celestia's instructions. Was that the name Rick heard? He doesn't care.

"Alright M-*urp*-orty. Go do some thing while I, sort this out." Rick said, heading down for the basement to check on his portal gun. Morty doesn't have much to do since he forgot his tablet or his laptop. So he figured he'd talk to Discord. Who was floating and swimming around him. All while he was listening into his thoughts on his next move.

"I see that you are planning to talk to me! Old Discord! Boy, it's been a while since I've spoken to someone that's not pony." Discord said, Morty stucked on the last word that Discord said. He decided to ask him as he sat down on his sofa. When he made contact with the comfy couch, he sank deeper into the furniture and screeched a little. He went back to his decision and asked him.

"Um, pony?" Discord just sat along with him but he didn't sink into the couch.

"Yes, we are in a world of ponies. Where they believe, friendship is magic. Have you seen that at
East once on your Interdimensional TV?"

"No, and jeez, sounds like a five year old world."

"It kinda is. But! Let's talk about you!" Discord popped in front of Morty but as a small version of him. Sitting on a couch with popcorn beside him.

"This is gonna be really awkward." Morty mumbled.


Rick walked down the basement stairs and came into a dark room. He knew the switch beside him was a fake, he remembered the real switch was on the floor so he stomped his foot onto the concrete floor and the lights opened. Revealing a different kind of lab, but still held some similarities. Such as the metal shelf on the side with, instead of a Meeseek's Box, it held a Fleaseeks Box, his time travel stuff was replaced with 'Paradox Stuff', and the monster hat he had back at the garage, was replaced with a replica of Sauron's helmet but was labeled: 'Skyrim DLC helmet'.

Anyway, Rick went onto his set of monitors and opened it. He logged in, good thing it wasn't Windows 10. He opened a secret panel on the desk and revealed some sort of USB. He plugged that in on his portal gun. A new window opened on the monitor and it showed the stats, history, charge and model of his portal gun. Sadly he can't fiddle around with the settings of the software because it's pirated. He was thinking of buying himself a paid version. Or just steal it from the destroyed Citadel of Ricks. He looked at the stats, and it showed the real problem of his portal gun.

It was because of magic.

He remembered, they were on a Pony planet. Equis is filled with magic. It was everywhere, and it was conflicting with the portal gun's in-works. So they can't portal home. "God fucking dammit." He muttered, pounding his desk with an angered fist. There was only two ways to get home. It's to either find an anti-magical area around the planet. Or he could command the A.I of his ship to fly to this floating rock in space. But, it would take an estimated time of.. "1 week and a half." Rick said, as he just calculated the time.

He needs to plan this properly so that nothing will cause any trouble to him. So he would make amends with the ponies, get along with them, buy some time until the ship would come and pick them up. That is if Rick picked 'Plan B'. But he's going with 'Plan A' first. So he, Morty and Discord would need to trek to a place where there's no magic in an area. Or he could tell Discord to make an anti-magic dome or something.

Yeah, that plan would work. He needs to prepare immediately.

But not without getting high first.


".. and that's the story of me living on another dimension while my other body is rotting in a backyard." Morty finished, with Discord wearing a brown suit and tie with a notepad on his paw and a pencil writing around on his notepad. Surprisingly, Morty finds it comfortable talking with Discord. They shared stories to each other, and interacted with each other just for a while.

"Well, you have to get used to it more often. I'd do the same if I were you but.. I've been on that rodeo." Discord said, inspecting his claws.

"What?! You've migrated to another dimension?!" Morty yelled with shock and surprise in his tone.

"Yes. Several times. Not that because my orginal world is nothing but ash, well.. it was one time. But for other purposes. Right now this is the 59th time I've done this." Discord said, as a glass of chocolate appeared in front him. He sipped on it, but the glass itself was decreasing, not the delicious looking milk.

"Wow, what a waste of chocolate." Morty commented.

"Hey, the glass taste like chocolate." Discord said.

CLANG!!

The sound of metal banging came from the basement. Morty jumped from the sudden loud noise while Discord looked at the basement door with no emotion whatsoever.

"W-w-what was that?!" Morty asked.

"Probably just Sam." Discord said, continuing to drink the glass out of the.. well glass. I think?

"Ugh..." A loud groan was heard from downstairs. This time Discord was lookign at the door with surprise.

"Your right. Maybe we should look down." Discord said, as the two rushed down to see Rick sitting on the wall with a bunch of crystals, equipments and glass shards on the floor with a red powder on the table. Morty rushed to Rick while Discord checked the metal shelf to see a green septic eye still swimming around his cylindrical home. "Oh good! Rick didn't destroy Sam's home." Discord said, properly placing back the cylinder container bsck on the shelf.

"Are you kidding me?! Can you help me here Discord!!" Morty yelled. As Rick groaned. His eyes opened revealing the same color red as the powder on table on his eyes. The red in his eyes quickly faded as Rick was no longer high.

"Don't bother, Rick just took a drug called Korax-sys. It makes you very pleasured but for the cost of your energy. It's just for a short time don't worry. By now the effects have worn off." Discord explained, on his claw was a blue arm cannon he was just about to put back on the metal shelf.

"Thank God.." Morty sighed in relief. Knowing that his grandpa is not in danger.

"Morty.." Rick said. As he tried to stand up. "Discord.. we're going to.." Rick sighed. He can't handle sleep right now. So he took a syringe filled with a chemical from his pocket and stabbed himself with it. He suddenly shook off his sleepiness and went back to being fully awake. "Woo, anyway. We-we-we're going to find an anti-magic area so we can *urp* portal home."

"Oh, do you? I have a room that is anti-magic." Discord said.

"Really?" Morty said.

"Well.. not really." Discord walked up to the main room as Rick and Morty followed suit. They turned to a door near Discord's meaningless umbrella rack. Discord opened it to reveal a medium sized room filled with black and grey sound foam on the walls and a grey carpet on the floor. In the center of the room was a machine that was touching the bright, bubbly, white dome. Making the dome even bigger. "This thing is still making the anti-magic bubble. We just need.." Discord then had a mailman attire with a calculator on his paw. "Bah," He then ripped off his costume into oblivion. "we need 12 hours more until this thing can fully charge."

"Alriight! In the mean time, let's just find an anti-magical area around this planet." Rick suggested.

"I know one!" Discord yelled out.

"Where?" Rick asked.

"You'll see. Let's prepare for now. I heard there's dangerous creatures around the area."

Author's Note:

(1) I don't know how to say: "Disscorde" so I just added "è". I'm not taking a smash on French people, just don't know how it works.

Also, I planned to make a detailed scene of Rick making the drugs. But sadly I won't do it.

Comments ( 7 )

8140147 You exactly just said the name of the chapter.

damn rick just took a shit on sans his jokes were savage

Can't wait to see where this goes!

So wait why would Celestia send out DRONES? That's what you call Changelings or Technology that does NOT exist yet.

Other then that this story is GREAT and wonderfully UNIQUE! <3

8562921 By drones they act like scouts but more aggressive.

Also thanks! :pinkiehappy:

"Well, the guy who *urp* invited us was, a yellow triangle with black arms and legs with only one eye, a top hat and a bow tie, aaand he was a dream demon." Morty, still getting shocked from what Rick's encountered. He thought he's seen it all but Rick's seen beyond. "He invited Discord here, and another guy who was.. a fat ass skeleton. With a blue hoodie, black shorts, and pink slippers. He also likes ketchup and puns."

I am watching

About the previous chapter, I wonder what did Luna meant about why does the "guy in a labcoat" seem familiar?
Like did she met Rick before?

Curious on how Luna and Spike be handled in this crossover?

Login or register to comment