Horses Before Ricks

by dereturd

"Fucking piece of shit portal gun!!"

"Rick?" Morty called out, still in his jammies. He was down because Rick yelled out his name, and if Rick calls out Morty's name, Rick definitely needs his help. Or company. Or his cloaking.

"In the garage!" Rick yelled back, Morty followed the voice's intructions and walked into the garage. He found Rick fiddling his laptop and his stuff. Morty walked in closer and was now beside Rick.

"What do you need Rick?" Morty asked.

"We gotta go to a planet and *urp* and-and collect some rainbow essence, Morty." Rick answered, he faced the side and grabbed his portal gun, cranking the setting to the location of the said planet.

"Um, what planet exactly, R-R-Rick? And why do we need to collect rainbow essence?"

"We need to go to Equis Prime, it's out of the *urp* grid of the galaxy, so it would take the gas of my *urp* ship to get there. So we're traveling by portal, and we need rainbow essence to make rainbows return to this neighborhood. Ever since you're birth, M-M-Morty, *urp* there was a solid colorful rainbow for a record of five seconds."

"Wait, why do we need rainbows?"

"Beca-*urp*-use, I need it for my research Morty. So go change to your casual and let's go."

"Alright alright!" Morty said, running back to his room and started changing his attire. While Rick leaned by the wall and drank more from his flask.

---

Starlight was just finishing the last batch which was a part of her experiment. She then took the tubes and placed it inside the cooler to cool. After closing the container, she then leaned on the wall, took off her goggles and gloves, and gave a big long sigh after wiling the sweat from her forehead. "Well, that finishes that. I better go check Twilight to see how her.. star gaze is doing." She said to herself.

Boy, do ponies have the habit of talking to themselves.

She closed her bedroom door to see Twilight. She was very sure that nopony will interrupt her experiment.

---

Rick and Morty walked through the portal which led to a.. turquoise bedroom with a purple carpet sporting the floor. The portal behind them disappears as Rick took his first glance at the cooler. While Morty gazed around the bedroom. What caught his eye was the mirror. Filled with pictures of.. equines? Bonding?

"Rick? What the hell is this planet?" Morty asked Rick, who was taking the last tube inside the cooler. Rick acknowledged his name from Morty, so he responded.

"I don't *urp* know Morty. All I know is that this was *urp* out of the Federation's hands a long time ago, and i-i-it has sunshine and rainbows in it." Morty wasn't impressed with his explanation of this planet. So he gave another shot at asking.

"Um, anything else Rick?!"

"Look Morty!" Rick yelled angrily. Startling Morty. "I don't give a shit about this planet's origin. What matters is that we need something really important to use for the-the-the thing we need to do! So we got our shit, and we're done! So let's get the fuck out of here!" He yelled, saying that also had saliva dripping along his mouth.

After ranting at Morty, he grabbed his portal gun and started to shoot portal. But the result was just green liquid spitting out from the tip. He raised a brow, after that he pressed the trigger again. Again and again. But to no avail the portal gun didn't work. He got pissed. The gun was working, the interdimensional plasma was there, the dimension bar was telling the supposed dimension they were supposed to go to, and the gun wasn't jammed.

"Morty, hold the-*urp*-se tubes." He said, giving Morty the tubes as he takes them one by one with delicacy. After that, Rick returned his mind to the portal gun. It was rare to make it have malfunctions, and the solution sometimes is to smack at it because, it works. So he pounded at it, three times. After that he pulled the trigger again, only to make it spit out goo. "Great." He muttered. He grabbed a screwdriver from his lab coat, and started taking off the plating of the gun to reveal the insides. He inspected the gun, and there wasn't anything wrong with it. He was very confused from the look of his face, so he placed and screwed back the plating and smacked the portal gun again. Before gritting out his teeth, and yelling,

"Fucking piece of shit portal gun!!"

"Hey what's the racket-?!" The purple unicorn gasped at seeing the intruders in her room. With the duo staring at the equine.

"Um, we come in peace?" Morty said.

And the unicorn let out a damsel in distress scream.

Author's Note:

I need something to get me back at writing. So here it goes.

I'll upload Why So VG? later, so don't worry.

Comments

[MLPKirby420]

Keep righting fucking awsome

[AyanamiRei]

Well this sounds promising....