Of Love and Loss

by tom117z

12 - Stirrings Of The Heart

Canterlot Castle

Princess Twilight Sparkle wearily looked down upon Equestria’s Capitol from her vantage point on the balcony. It looked just about the same as it always had done, but many moons of progress could be spotted to those who knew where to look, like Twilight did. The city had expanded slightly a little ways down the mountain, houses mostly, though a few industrial facilities had been set up alongside them. Canterlot General Hospital also had received an extension and upgrades to its current set of medical facilities. Twilight narrowed her eyes as she looked upon it all, on the ponies for which she had already sacrificed so much. For ponies who cared not for Twilight Sparkle, but the mystical goddess who raised the sun every day and lowered it at night, the protector watching over them all and allowing them to feel safe in their own beds.

She hated them.

She hated them all.

Every day they would come crawling to her throne, asking, begging and demanding any and all sorts of things. Every day she would listen to some self-obsessed noble go on about how ‘The children were too noisy’ or ‘That charity building is an eyesore’. Other days she had ponies come asking her to perform such miracles such as raising the dead! And then others would come with requests so menial that they didn’t truly even need her help at all. Every day she would smile and nod as if she cared for a word they were saying, before solving their insignificant problems in one way or another like the good little princess she was expected to be.

For over forty years it was the same, and she hated them all so much. She wanted to put them in their place, to make them know why they should fear her before tearing them limb from-

Twilight shook her head to rid herself of the dark thoughts infecting her mind like a horrifying disease. She sighed as she stowed those dangerous thoughts into the deepest pits of her mind as she had done for so long now, each time being just that little bit harder.

Twilight looked away from the city and instead up to the far more comforting nights sky, the stars twinkling wonderfully and washing her in their glorious light. She could easily make out the many constellations she had studied since she was but a foal, and the much needed distraction placed her mind at ease.

“Enjoying my stars, Twilight?” Luna asked as she walked onto the balcony and sat down next to her counterpart. “It is getting late, you should rest.”

“I know. I just needed some fresh air. I have a lot on my mind,” Twilight responded with a disarming smile.

“Anything in particular?”

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Twilight lied through the mask she wore.

--“Duty?” Sombra rolled his eyes. “Equestria cares nothing for you. Why submit to them, when they should submit to you? You could be so much more, Twilight.”--

Luna tilted her head. “Are you sure?”

Twilight didn’t answer, only pointing that smile at Luna.

‘She is so much like Tia, with the way she carries herself,’ Luna thought. ‘And hides herself. I can’t tell whether Celestia would be proud, or horrified.’

“What about your trip to the Crystal Empire?” Luna changed the subject. “Did you speak to Cadance?”

“What do you think?” Twilight responded sadly.

“She still isn’t speaking to you?” Luna sighed. “I suppose heartbreak isn’t something so quickly recovered from. Even this many years later.”

“She blames me,” Twilight said. “She blames me for Shiny’s death.”

Luna frowned. “Why do you think she blames you?”

“I wasn’t fast enough. If I just arrived sooner…”

“If WE arrived sooner, Twilight. And it sounds far more like you’re blaming yourself.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Shouldn’t I?”

--Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Shining Armor, Flurry Heart, Mi Amore Cadenza and Celestia were all written on the various graves with their cutie marks carved into their stone surfaces.--

“No,” Luna responded. “Do you really think he would want you to?”

“Shining Armor is dead. Does it matter?”

“Twilight Sparkle!” Luna scolded. “Of course it matters. He would not want you being like this, and he most certainly would not, and I am sure does not blame you, wherever he is.”

Twilight didn’t answer.

“What about you niece?” Luna asked after a moment.

“She is doing well, now that she has been coroneted from a princess in title only to actually ruling alongside us as equals as the fourth ruling alicorn princess. Though, it is tough on her. With Cadance shutting herself away from the world many consider her the current Crystal Princess, and she is taking on almost all of her duties for her mother. She doesn’t mind, she is a good kid.”

“She probably enjoys organising the paperwork, your influence I’m sure,” Luna joked. “But that is not what I meant.”

“She is fine, Luna.” Twilight assured. “Or at least I think she is, most of her interactions with me are all business and politics now.”

“Are you sure it is just her making it that way?” Luna asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I speak with her rather regularly, though I do hear little from Cadenza. Flurry is worried for you, she misses you.”

“Does she now?”

“Twilight, you are pushing others away, becoming reclusive when not performing your duties.”

“I visit my friends in Ponyville all the time!” Twilight protested.

“And that is it,” Luna shot back. “Where once you would have happily stopped to chat with some random citizen of Ponyville for a while, now you actively try to avoid it. Myself and Flurry are not the only ones noticing it, your friends are also concerned for you.”

Twilight chuckled. “I thought I was the one known for overreacting.”

Luna raised an eyebrow.

“I’m fine Luna, I promise. I’m going to Ponyville in a couple of days anyway, it will be good to get out of the castle.”

“I suppose it will. Just promise me will try to open up a little more, I hate to see you becoming distant like this.”

“It is good to know you care. I’m flattered Lulu, it brings a tear to my eye, truly,” Twilight teased.

Luna rolled her eyes. “You try to have a serious conversation and this is what happens…” She muttered.

Twilight chuckled, giving Luna a light bump on the shoulder. “In all seriousness, I do appreciate the talk. Honest.”

Luna looked at Twilight and smiled. “Happy to help.”

Both alicorns turned their gazes upwards to look up at the night’s sky, their ethereal manes flowing gently in the breeze. Luna slowly lowered her head to the side, until it rested gently on Twilight’s shoulder as the two princesses enjoyed each other’s company.

Twilight herself lowered her head so it rested on Luna’s while making sure her crown stayed fixed atop her head at the angle it was at. A small, contented smile was on her face as she shared in the moment with the Lunar Princess, all worries washed away.

Until her smile morphed into a tight grimace.

--“Do you love me, Twilight?”

“W-what?”

“Just tell me the truth,” Luna said softly.--

Twilight closed her eyes as she tried to shake the incoming memories.

--Twilight’s voice began to twist into something sinister as her fur turned a much darker shade of purple. “Rejected and abandoned by all.”

“Twilight?” Luna began to back away in terror.

“So be it.”

Twilight’s eyes shot open, slitted pupils homed in their pray as Princess Luna froze in fear. Violent dark magical energies flowed through Twilight’s horn as she fired one devastating lance at the other princess, wiping Princess Luna from existence in one swoop.--

“Twilight?” Luna whispered as Twilight broke away.

“Sorry Luna I-I’m just really tired. Yes, that is it. Tired,” Twilight turned away towards the door, intent on retiring for the night to try and banish the emerging darkness.

“Wait,” Luna called softly, and yet it was enough to stop Twilight in her tracks. “Can you stay a little longer, please?”

Twilight looked back at Luna.

“It has been a while since we just enjoyed some time together, as friends,” Luna quickly added.

'Friends, is that all?' Twilight thought sadly.

After a moment of hesitation, Twilight nodded. “Alright.”

Twilight took her place back next to Luna, trying to enjoy her company while trying to banish her own traitorous thought.

‘Luna will not betray me. She will not abandon me like the rest…’ The Princess of the Sun desperately thought to herself.

Luna herself fared little better.

‘She will be fine,’ Luna tried to assure herself. ‘My love will not follow my dark path, she will not succumb.’

Love. It was on both their minds, and yet both were too afraid to say it. One feared her own growing darkness and the possibility of heartbreak. The other also feared the darkness growing within her love’s heart, and did not trust herself to not make it worse, afraid that if she was to commit her past would destroy Twilight and all in the firing line.

Luna had seen Twilight in her own vision created by Sombra, if only she had known what Twilight had seen. And how similar each of their initial seeds of darkness were.

History does so love to repeat itself.

Comments

[ValNitak Choas]

yea for the update.

[Ratmandango]

Yesssssss... Let the darkness fuel you

[PonyPawz]

I must say I enjoyed this chapter.
Also loving the growing darkness in Twilight and the conflict between her and Luna just to say those 3 magic words that are known throughout the land that can and will change everything.
Though I don't want to see the same thing or or something similar to "Cry for Eternity".

Make sure to add those twists and turns to keep the story juicy.
And once again great joy on this story

[Lunar Justice]

A very ominous undertone in this chapter. And hate..hate is such a strong emotion, quite unknown to Twilight i'd wager, but now its her companion pretty much. Thats the feeling i am getting here. Fun fact Love and Hate are two sides of the same coin, its a thin line between them two. I am very curious whats gonna happen next. Good writing with describing the inner conflict Twilight probably has to deal with everyday, aswell as the neglect of Cadance, He might have been your husband, but he was Twilights brother. And Twilight is heading further and further down that dark path Luna travelled so long ago. I also love that comparison Luna did with Twilight and Celestia that they both are very alike with how they deal with their problems. And that she is unsure wether her sister would be proud or horrified at how alike Twilight's behaviour has gotten to Celestia's. Again a shorter chapter but still per usual full of content. It does not feel rushed and the pace feels natural and smooth. I also really like that Twilight and Luna does share the same feelings for each other but they are both hindered and stopped by their personal doubts. Gonna be interesting to see how they get over that obstacle or who makes the first move. But i fear Luna is running low on time with Twi's mental state slowly but surely unraveling and falling apart. I love this story soo much. And i love that Twilight is having a simmilar form to that of how Luna had when she fell to the dark. I am eagerly awaiting more. Gonna be interesting to see how the next few chapters progress. And we'll follow along as Twi descends. Great work!

[tom117z]

7327491 I'm glad you enjoy it so much! Sorry for the shorter chapters here, my focus is still on Change and I try to get chapters of this done when I can, difficult when I also have college. Most chapters will be this sort of length, with the exception of the big important chapters like Broken Armor...