July 14 [Bad Buffet]
July 14
I woke up suddenly, 'cause I was dreaming that alligators with wings were flying around and trying to eat me but I was a better flier than them, so I was getting away and then there was an alligator in an airplane and I couldn't outfly it.
I hate waking up from nightmares, but at least it was the morning and not the middle of the night.
I had a quick breakfast and then I put on my flight gear and flew to Meijer, so that I could get more oatmeal and waffle mix and eggs and anchovies. And when I was there I bought some cheese, too, because I thought maybe I could make scrambled eggs with cheese. They didn't look like they'd be too hard to cook. Meijer had cheese that was already shredded, which was very convenient.
Nobody followed me around or anything, and there was a really nice boy who was shopping with his mother who came up and petted my nose. When she saw she said she was sorry, but I didn't mind.
I was heading out when I thought I ought to get some beer, too, so I got a box of Oberon bottles and then I also saw some Landshark which I had liked, so I put that in the cart, too.
The man at the cash register wanted to see my identification, and he got really confused when he saw what it said my birthday was. So I had to explain that we counted our years differently than humans and he finally asked someone who was wearing a grey vest, even though I insisted that I bought beer all the time.
I finally was allowed to buy it, though, and they put the stuff in bags and put them back in my cart and it was only when I got outside and wanted to put things in my saddlebags that I realized I'd bought too much.
The box of Oberon and the carrier of Landshark wouldn't fit at all, and I finally had to take them out of their packages and stuff the bottles in individually and I wound up having to carry a couple in my camelback, too, which was a bit worrisome 'cause I couldn't close the zipper all the way, so I'd have to be really careful on my flight back home.
Meijer has wastebaskets on lightposts, which is nice of them, although they weren't made with a pony in mind. It was a bit of a trick to get my empty boxes in them.
It occurred to me that if I had one fewer beer, I could close the zipper on my camelback and not have to worry about accidentally dropping it, so I slid one of them back out, closed the zipper, and drank it, then I put the bottle in the wastebasket too.
That probably wasn't the best way to start my day. I felt a little bit fuzzy as I flew back over town, and then when I landed I had to pee and there was no way I was going to be able to use my toilet with saddlebags and a camelback full of beer.
Aric had said it was okay to use a tree, so instead of going up to my balcony, I landed in the backyard and used the tree there, then flew around to my apartment.
Once I'd gotten everything put away, I flew over to Aric's house to check on his birdfeeder. There was hardly anything left in it at all, so I used up the last of the old bag and then put some from the new bag in, too.
I went back to my apartment and started reading more Psalms. I had just started the 136th when my portable telephone rang, and when I answered it it was Mister Salvatore and he said that he and Miss Cherilyn were coming over if that was convenient because he wanted to talk about the incident with the airplane.
So I said that they were welcome to come over, and went back to reading Psalms.
I'd only made it a few more when I heard my doorbell and I thought it must be them, so I went downstairs and opened the door and it wasn't them; it was a woman in a brown UPS suit and she had two boxes for me. I took her little pen and wrote on her hand-computer, then she asked for my last name. Humans have first names and middle names and last names, and their last names are their family names, so I told her that mine was Silver, 'cause I figured that was what she was asking for.
And I guess it was, 'cause she pushed a couple of buttons on her hand computer and then the pasture grass was mine.
I took it upstairs and opened both of the boxes and then decided I'd have a little snack to celebrate and tried a mouthful of the timothy.
That turned into a couple of mouthfuls because it was so good. I wonder how they keep it so fresh? Maybe it had come on the airplane I saw yesterday.
I'd just put the boxes in the kitchen when my doorbell rang again and this time it was Mister Salvatore and Miss Cherilyn.
She sat on the futon, and there was enough room for both of them but he just stayed standing.
He started off by saying that we both were wrong to be jerks on the radio, and I knew that I was, but you can't take back something that you said. And then he said that technically the other pilot had not violated any rules, unless he'd gone below a thousand feet, and he asked me if he had. I said I didn't know for sure, but I knew he hadn't come all that close.
So he said that this ought to be a learning experience for everyone involved. He told me that the airplane directors in Kalamazoo had maybe been giving me a false sense of security, and normally in uncontrolled airspace, the rule was 'see and avoid.' He said that I couldn't lay claim to a section of the sky; calling on the radio just advised other airplanes that I was there, but it didn't give me free rein.
He told me he'd had a lot of long conversations with the FAA, and I got a little nervous because they'd been pretty hesitant to give me a license to fly at all and I was afraid that they had changed their mind.
I guess he could tell what I was thinking, 'cause he told me that they weren't going to take my license away. He promised me that they weren't going to do that, but he said from now on instead of telling people that I was an ornithopter, I was supposed to say that I was an Equestrian pegasus. And he reminded me again that even if I had asked for airspace, that didn't mean it was exclusively mine. He said that even when I was under a thousand feet, where airplanes weren't supposed to be, I should still pay attention.
I told him that I understood, and I said that I always kept looking and listening for airplanes.
Miss Cherilyn asked if I wanted to go out to lunch, and I said that I would, so we went down and got in Sienna and she asked how I felt about Chinese. I said that I was willing to try it, and I knew what it was because there had been a couple of Chinese food days at college.
While Mister Salvatore was driving I asked Miss Cherilyn about Dallas and I saw Mister Salvatore's hands tighten on the steering wheel.
She got out of her seat and came back to sit beside me and said that it was really complicated. Then she explained how the short version was that there had been a social movement called Black Lives Matter which peacefully protesting police officers who killed black people when they probably shouldn't have and one man had become so angry that they had decided to shoot police officers. She said that there had been a man in Dallas who had done that recently and she said it was important to know that his actions had not been part of the protest, which had been peaceful, and she said it was also important to know that the police officers had acted to protect the protestors.
So I asked her if she was saying that the Black Lives Matter people had been protesting the police, and she said that was true. And then I was curious about why the police would have protected them and she said it was because it was their job.
Miss Cherilyn told me that one of the problems with the news reporters was that most of them liked simple stories and the reality was a lot more complicated, so they ignored some of it. Which I guess made sense.
She said that it was very easy for them to say one thing was good and one thing was bad but in reality it wasn't that simple at all. And she said that the reality was that there were bad police officers who did bad things but there were also good police officers who did good things. And she said that there were bad people who deserved what they got and there were other people who didn't, and it wasn't as simple as being something which could be determined by seeing what color they were or what religion they had or where they had come from.
I would have liked to talk about that a little bit more, but we got to the restaurant and Mister Salvatore looked kind of grumpy and I thought maybe it was because I was asking the wrong things.
The restaurant was like the college cafeteria; they had lots of trays of food and you could choose what you liked. So I got some spring rolls and fried mushrooms and fried rice and a crab roll and they were all pretty tasty and when I had finished what was on my plate I was allowed to have a second so I got another crab roll and two more spring rolls, and when I'd eaten that I was completely full.
Mister Salvatore really liked General Tso's Chicken, 'cause he had two plates of it.
We got fortune cookies at the end and my fortune said that I was very lucky and I read it out loud and added 'in bed' at the end and Miss Cherilyn nearly choked on her drink.
As good as the Chinese food had tasted, it didn't make my tummy too happy, and Mister Salvatore had to roll the windows down on the way back. I told him that I was sorry, and Miss Cherilyn said that the important lesson for today was to not take ponies to Chinese restaurants.
I told her that Taco Bell made me fart, too, and he said he was going to put that in the file because it was useful information.
When they dropped me off at my apartment, Mister Salvatore reminded me to stay alert in the air and not be a jerk on the radio even if the other guy deserved it, and Miss Cherilyn hugged me and reminded me to call or send a computer letter if I needed anything and said that I had done the right thing to tell them about the man in the airplane.
Mister Salvatore said that they were still working on rules for pegasuses flying and that I was an important part of the process.
And I hugged him, too, before he left, 'cause he still looked grumpy and maybe a hug would cheer him up a little bit.
I spent too much of the afternoon in the bathroom and decided that I ought not eat at Chinese buffets ever again, just to be safe.
I also finished the rest of the Psalms.
I was feeling a little bit better by the time I went to meet with Liz. And we talked about the Psalms and how some of them were happy and some of them were sad and some of them were hopeful and she said that they were a good view into the humanity of the authors who had written them.
She also said that it was funny that I had my glaive again, and I told her that I was hoping that the fighters would be practicing again, although I hadn't thought to send a message to find out for sure.
She said that she didn't have anything else to do, and thought it might be fun to watch me, so we walked together down to the little park. I did some exercises with my glaive, and then Stellan arrived so I traded it for a padded weapon and we play-fought for a little bit and he thought he was getting pretty good at stopping my swooping attacks.
So I told him that I'd show him how they were supposed to be done but he'd have to be careful and only do what I told him to do, and he promised he would.
I went up and got a little bit of a cloud and I brought it back down and then I set it far enough above him that he couldn't get it and I told him not to touch it, and then I told him to get ready and face the cloud. So he did and I couldn't really make a proper attack because there was only the one little cloud, but I still managed to catch him unaware, by keeping the cloud between us and flying through it.
I pushed the cloud-piece over the creek before I broke it up, 'cause I didn't want to get the ground all muddy, and I told him that a proper pegasus ile came through the clouds like that.
We practiced until it was nearly dark, and I got to partner with a few different people. It was kind of awkward, 'cause most of them didn't like being aggressive and hitting me until I'd hit them a few times. I guess people didn't expect that ponies knew how to fight when we had to.
Liz watched the whole time and Karla asked her if she wanted to join, but she said that she didn't.
When we were done, they put their armor and weapons in their cars and drove off, and I went over to Meghan's apartment. I should have brought her bra with me, but I'd forgotten about it.
She said that she'd get it tomorrow when she came over after work.
So we snuggled up in bed together and before we went to sleep I asked her if she wanted to ride in a hot air balloon and she said that would be fun, so I told her that tomorrow during the day I’d buy tickets for us.
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In regards to the airspace violations in the previous chapter, I'm pretending that they didn't happen because I didn't know that where they were flying was part of Lansing airport's controlled airspace.
7566180
You'll have to come up with some other scenario where she cusses someone out to make up for it, then.
7566186
Maybe an aggressive telemarketer.
If any of the readers has mad artistic skills remember a chapter or three ago where SG was in the Taco Bell and feeling like people were looking at her?
I wonder if at the time she was wearing her fluorescent green flight jacket with strobe light and radios on each foreleg.
Hopefully the strobe light was off.
So, I take it that Mister Salvatore and Miss Cherilyn declined to share their fortunes? I wonder what they got...
...in bed.
So I'm not saying that her handlers are from the X files... But whenever they show up I imagine Sully.
Silver. Darling.
You were a very naughty filly today.
Drinking in public.
Flying under the influence (of alcohol)
Public urination.
Use of a biological weapon on civilians (chinese gas attack on Miss Cherilyn.)
Finally some common sense. Every time they asked her what kind of aircraft she was on the radio, I wanted her to say "I'm not an aircraft, I'm a pony". If they don't believe her she can just make horse noises into the microphone.
There's probably a vast difference between what a college cafeteria calls Chinese food and what a really good restaurant calls Chinese food.
Wonder what Ponies call Montezuma's Revenge? The dragon's attack, the Griffon's Revenge? Also, if the ocean is your toilet
1 How do you flush?
2 What do you use for toilet paper?
As to Silver getting carded. Here in the USA you are supposed to be 18 to buy tobacco and 21 for alcohol. Store clerks are supposed to check ID until age 30 (AFAIK that is store policy not the law). How seriously do they take that law? Depends on the local cops. If they send in kids to buy and you sell, it is a misdemeanor criminal offence. Store clerk pays a fine (about equal to a week's pay for a 1st offense) & theoretically could be some jail time. Store owner pays a bigger fine & the store can't sell alcohol for several days -cops padlock the beer cooler. The store clerk usually gets fired.
As to Silver drinking on store property. Technically, store liquor license don't allow that, you need a bar license and the store clerk is supposed to stop you.
Passport is OK for ID, usually we just let it go if we couldn't read it. Either the clerk was new or the cops are having a crackdown & everyone is jumpy.
7566360 she was in her backyard when she urinated, hardly what I'd call public.
Silver! Don't give up on Chinese food! It's probably only one ingredient that did it, and it might just have been improperly prepared! The college's chinese food didn't bother you.
7566360
I'll need a clarification on that one. 'Cause I was lead to beleive that your ponies use a shorter year, that follow the moon's cycles instead of arbitrary month. Not longer years.
Context...
She IS going to visit Aric in a few days...
Silver Glow: "Yes, keep petting the adorable pony." covers up her cart full of beer
I guess ponies and MSG don't get along.
?
I really want this to be missile.
Ah dreams, gotta love the nonsense.
Chugging a beer in the parking lot probably isn't the best idea.
And finally, I've been saying that she should identify herself as a Pegasus for a while.
7566461 21 for tobacco in California. Really annoyin, and I don't even smoke.
Didnt Disneys Tailspin have an Alligator pilot? Or thers the Alligator soccar player in Bedknobs And Broomsticks?
Mr salvatore took a third option. Its super effective.
Silly silver. No Drinking and Flying. You will get a FUI if youre lucky, and FUG if you aint.
Suuuure you did, Silver.
Forget about it long enough, and it might become a trophy of your first time with a human woman.
7566360
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/034/706/winternet.jpg?1318992465
7566461 In the stores around here, the age you stop carding is 40, so it's definitely not a national standard.
It is probably beyond the scope of this story but I would be interested in hearing just how it was that Equestria was discovered or maybe I should ask how Equestria discovered Earth.
Maybe it was that only Equestria and Earth had SETI programs running at the same instant.
I would think that the radio telescopes would be useless but it was the underground neutrino detectors that found something unusual and passed it on.
DOUBLE PERIODS!
Saying that the Dallas-Shooter is a member of BLM is like saying the Boston-Bombers are avid joggers:
The protestors were upset about the shootings earlier that week. The police were there to keep order. An unaffiliated cop-hating white-hating lunatic saw an opportunity to ambush and murder white cops.
Bad pony, don't fly drunk.
"When you said it didn't matter what anyone looked like, you meant except for those useless unicorns, right?"
Well, you're not wrong.
Because otherwise they'd all have started talking like Mickey Mouse. As we all know, pegasi farts are made of Helium. https://twitter.com/fyre_flye/status/290354348775591936
7566459
*aerial horse noises*
7566360
Don't forget flying drunk.
I'm telling you, she's taking that thing back to Equestria with her.
7567627 Thanks. I'll add it to her charges.
7566693 I wonder how she'd react if instead of a child it was an adult that just came up and petted her.
I like Mister Salvatore, he knows where it's at.
I've never tried to buy tobacco or alcohol, but I have been carded for spray paint... And sharpies.
7566855 That's not a typo. Ile was used before, as somewhat of a pegasus synonym for squadron.
7566209 I can't believe it didn't occur to me that she still had her flight gear on! And she probably didn't turn the light off.
June 4: Taco Bell (excerpts)
Im glad they were able to get that mess with the other pilot sorted out. Lesson learned on both ends. Perhaps Silver can avoid using the term "ornithopter" as it is apparently not one of the official types of aircraft listed in the FAA guidelines. Perhaps if she must describe her aircraft designation, she can for "powered glider" maybe.
There is almost nothing more liberating than peeing outside.
7568257
¡Wow! That is an extremely racist thing you wrote. Here is an educational video:
7566180
Why not just edit the chapter to correct the issue?
7568603
Cops: * kill unarmed black people a lot, sometimes even children playing with toys, or parents shopping for toys for their kids, or people taking their wallet out to show their driver's licence to the cop *
Internal Affairs: I don't see anything particularly illegal about police using guns to arbitrarily kill people.
BLM: this is bad.
Jakomi of the rose: obviously black people protesting the murder of black people are racist.
Hmm.
7568773 Ahh, black-on-black crime, something you only bring up when you need to distract from cop-on-black crime. Any other time, you don't even think about it.
It's funny to consider that you act surprised that a civil rights movement sticks within the boundaries of civil rights, and act like that's somehow hypocritical of them. It's also funny to consider that BLM actually do protest police killings of unarmed or mentally disabled whites now - they naturally fell into that role because they're the closest organisation by default. It seems white folks are too lazy to set up a white lives matter, unless they get to dress up like a pointy ghost.
7568776 I'm looking forward to your debut south part episode: Cops are wrong for shooting unarmed black people, and black people are wrong for getting together to complain about it.
7568794 tepid_takes.txt
7568815 South park is garbage, "the truth is in the middle" is like a koan but for morons.
7567630
Which would make for a rather awkward conversation with the mares on her weather team if they ever found out.
I was right! Ponies do go by horse-years! Silver's five years old!
7566209
I hadn't put those together either!
She's been going to places looking like the magical alien equivalent of a construction site manager.
7569669
I thought she just meant that the date was in Equestrian, which probably uses a different calendar. Maybe it said something like "year 3234 after founding" and the clerk had no frame of reference for it because he doesn't know what the current year is.