It is common knowledge that the two Princesses of Equestria, Celestia and Luna, are sisters. Their lives have been documented since their births, each over 1300 years ago. Both had been raised from birth to lead the three pony tribes, and to guide the two celestial bodies across the sky. They are opposites, they are equal, and they are sisters. It was all going according to plan until a being from their past showed up, trying to take over the city of Canterlot. In the process, revealed a long forgotten secret they had held for over a millennia.
With the secret out, Princess Celestia is forced to reveal her sister's true origins, why the changelings attacked, and where it all went wrong between the two races.
Credit for the new cover art goes to Plainoasis.
Note #2: Well this got submitted quickly. That auto function is no joke. I'm so used to waiting for three to four hours for my story to pass moderation. Thanks I guess.
Note #3: Featured on 2-27-16. Now I'm going to party like its 1699.
Note #4: Reached 100 likes Oct 26th 2016
"The cover image does not depict any character in the story" Sorry that gets you 5 down votes." (Joke) Good story ! have a track.
Ermagerd Luner es ah changlang.
Shit... this is awesome. Like'd, fave'd, and followed for this one. Great job.
~ Neon Lights
liked and followed
should this be "before I splatter" or has Luna developed a southern drawl?
I spot some awesome stuff.
At thist I thought it was abaut Flurry Heart meeting a child of Chrysalis but this kind of crackpot theory is what I want in my pot.
Should be sister's.
Interesting! Tracking to see where this goes.
Looks like a promising start.
I'm curious where it goes.
Will we see Chrysalis again? Or is she forever blown away?
Are you sure about this? The cover-image doesn't look too wrong, since it shows an changeling-like Luna. Or did I miss something?
By the way: Are you sure you had used the right cover-source?
I rather think it comes from here.
Found a few errors:
(When I'm annoying you, just say it and I will stop.)
Better: not seen for a long time
Better: Indeed, old friend
Better: soldiers
Should be: ripped
A few times you refer the Changeling-Luna as "Luna". Better just use single-quotes instead of double-quotes, like this: 'Luna'.
Also a few times you wrote "XXX", said Y.
The comma belongs inside the quotation marks: "XXX," said Y.
For details see here.
Generally: make thoughts italic.
Should: your
6972004
Thank you for pointing out so errors for me. I'll fix them when I find some more time as I'm pretty busy. As for your questions, the cover image is not accurate because it is not what changeling Luna looks like. As for Chrysalis, she be seen again as she is one of the more important characters.
Not gonna list any further example because there's like half a dozen ones in the first two paragraphs alone, but seriously, don't start sentences with prepositions, much less every second one. It's one thing to do that in conversation, but in something that tries to tell a story, it's bad form.
How very convenient. You don't think you could've revealed that through a conversation somewhere instead of throwing in a "oh yeah, Luna is totes immortal, btw" like that?
A small, pudgy humanoid with hairy toes and a fondness for gardening.
6979860
So halflings are apparently a thing in fantasy. Shows that I know absolutely nothing.
6979897
Well, technically they're called "hobbits," I guess. Halfling is an accepted synonym, though. Maybe just replace that with half-breed.
6979899 They are normally half human half gnome, though for some reason they are smaller than gnomes in D&D 5e, seriously, how are they smaller than both of their parent races!!?!
Dat Cliff hanger
more please!
Eh, but your traditional halfling wouldn't exist in Equestria, so it works for a pony changeling hybrid name
Royal guard is idiot? Why she was didn't receive first aid. Except she save their all, she is only changeling for questioning.
...Dangit. This is going in the same direction as every other "X is a changeling" fic so far. In addition, the pacing is a little faster than this type of story calls for. It's still nice, don't get me wrong. I'm definitely not going to downvote it. However, I don't think I'll be sticking around.
6987301
I have noticed my story going in that general direction as well. However, its pretty hard to deviate when all x is a changeling story are all basically the same. I hope by the end that it won't end up like the rest of those type of stories.
As for the pacing, I would slow down, but my plan is to get done with this story by the end of March as I want to work on other projects. If I had all the time in the world, I would go in a direction similar to Mirror's Image. Unfortunately, I have to balance school among other things as well.
Such irony! This is the last sentence of this chapter!
I hope we will learn the full background of the whole "Luna is a changling"-story.
Good chapter!
But one thing surprises me: There are guards at the entrance of the dungeon, but why are none at the cell itself?
Here and there are small grammatical errors, but nothing critical.
I recommend you take a proofreader.
Stupid Ponies!!
Ugh I see that cliche in almost every story like this. It's getting so old at this point. It's a good story but good grief it's such a cliche.
There's no fishy business! The Sirens are all too busy in EQG-universe! Silly guards.
Lady luna, should a threat arise, my bow is at your command. Lady clestia, should you request it, I shall aid in thy plight.
You seriously couldn't come up with a better reason than "changelings are kinda sexist?" Really?
Nice chapter!
Now we know about Luna's true origin.
But now we have to hope Celestia isn't forced to fight her own guards at some point.
Conspiracy theory:
Maybe the guards are right an it is a big plot made by Luna to take over!!
Found an small error:
That should be two words.
Hmm... Pinkie pie was very quiet in the chapter... !CHANGELING ALERT!
update?
Is the rewriting (see Note #4 of the description) still in progress or is the whole story cancelled for good?
(Edit: Note #4 from 16th October 2016)
If still in progress, I recommend change the status to "Hiatus".
If it is cancelled forever I would update the description.
Wonderful story, and congrats on hitting 100 likes and getting featured! I know what that feels like... and it is a truly amazing feeling.
good story so far.. reminds me of a certain other story with a similar idea... (but "celestia" is the changeling)
no offense or anything, i love this story, but i personally believe that chrissy is a tactical genius and purposely let twilight see so she could put her in the caves where she would kill the real cadence, maybe escape and be worthless once she realized what she had done, therefore rendering the elements useless. but thats just a theory, that i accept as canon. chrissy is best villian anyway.well and that one pinkie clone- i mean tirek, i meant to say tirek. not like tirek was just a cover-up and could have possibly been a pinkie clone. no, nothing like that. *she said, lying through her teeth*
Yes!! Welcome back!
Wonderful chapter. So Luna banishment broke any attempts of their parents of reaching an amicable peace between the ponies & the Changelings. Luna is the key of everything as it seems.
I think Celestia must tell the general populace of her story, or there will be confusion. Will be waiting for your next upload.
Congratulation, as I'm writing this, it went up to 106
Awesome chapter, lets see how it'll continue on from here
Good to see you back!
The moment I'm writing this the like-counter had already increased by 10% (now 110 likes).
I'm curious what will happen now with Chrysalis and how Luna will react to her message.
6989821 i didnt see the irony until you pointed it out... shows what i know
Glad to see this story return
queen faust
i like the name carduus. i really like that name. yay characters named carduus!!!!!!!
7367041 oh, no chrissy still has spies!!! its the season 6 finale all over again. well, the part about her kidnapping the mane-6 anyway. maybe pinkie started daydreaming, and she didnt realize what was going on, and wandered off to get a cupcake. #headcanonaccepted
7674488 Alternia, The Changeling Queen.
Okay so how did the parents die?
These two paragraphs directly contradict each other. If she saw the shield spell forming and deliberately positioned herself safely in front of a window, then she did not smash into the wall. If she smashed into the wall, then she did not position herself in front of a window... she had to be in front of a wall.
If-then statements make things so much clearer.
Answered some of my questions but not all of them.
7677059 Carduus, huh? That sounds familiar
*starts reading chapter* wait, blueblood isnt an incompetent jerk?
gasp! *finishes reading chapter* ... i want more chapters.
So bugs and mammals can crossbreed, I take it.
Seems legit.
Or maybe... Luna = Alien Resurrection Half-alien Ripley clone?
Oh I could have fun with this idea...
7680208 It was me! I killed the cherngelerng and the treasonous infidel it bred with! FAUST AKBAR!!
"By"? Do you mean "my"?