Discord Vs Cartoon Physics

by Stevebond1990

It Begins

Chapter 1:

It all began with three fillies tussling around a statue... I know the statue has a story that started long before that but frankly I don't have time to look it up then write it here.

This statue was in fact an enemy of the Pony Princess' encased in enchanted stone, the aptly named Discord.

Where the ponies strived for Order, Discord lived for Chaos.

Now, personally, i have nothing against mixing things up a bit and playing a few pranks as long as they're in good taste and not dangerous, Discord was like that for a long time but he then became a dark shadow of his former self, presumably after realising ponies no longer found his antics funny but routine.

Well Discord went off the deep end and soon started to play steadily more viscous pranks until ponies got hurt and he then started messing with the fabric of reality itself.

Case in point, it's raining chocolate milk and an hour ago it hailed marshmallows.

That was when the Princess' stepped in, the Great and Glorious Celestia and her super cute sister Luna.

There's one more sister at this point but she was in charge of a country to the North far outside Discord's sphere of influence.

At first they tried force... think Wil E. Coyote trying to catch the Roadrunner and you get the picture, then they turned to some kind of Magical Superweapon and ended up with a life sized garden ornament... which they then left in the castle gardens.

The Lord of Chaos is now free and the new operators of that weapon are out looking for it after Discord swiped it.

So much for the Almighty Celestia.

Now, I could trust the main cast to recover it and not miss... ooooooor I could find a way to stack the deck in our favour.

Now where is the blue ball of cuteness.

Now, Discord has seemingly suspended the usual laws of science, nature and magic in favour of being able to basically do what you want if you focus hard enough.

I now have a rock from Earth's moon to give to my marefriend.

---

Oh that's right... Ahem! Hello, my name is Ruyter and I am a former Human living in Equestria.

I'm not the first, apparently Discord's past antics weakened the barriers between Worlds and occasionally someone falls through.

On arrival every Human becomes a pony, griffon or zebra, no one knows why, it just happens.

Still confused? Just do what I do. Blame Discord!

Now, I arrived about six months before the whole Nightmare Moon thing, only I wasn't an ordinary pony.

I am a Boer, a pony/zebra hybrid. Such unions are normally between Earth ponies and zebras, but the other races aren't unheard of, I myself apparently have Unicorn ancestry.

My coat is the colour of starlight with faint zebra stripes, my mane is a dull gold and I'm built like Shining Armour, only slightly shorter.

The real gem is my Magic being a blend of Unicorn and Zebra, I can do nearly everything a Unicorn can without a horn, only my Magic isn't as strong and takes a bit more concentration.

Also, multitasking like Rarity can is as bad an idea as letting the Cutie-Mark Crusaders into Pinkie's helicopter.

My Emblem (Cutie Mark to the mares) is a blue heater shield with a tree in a meadow with the sky glowing orange at the horizon but fading to dark blue above the tree, and right above the tree is a shooting star.

No, normal conventions for names and cutie-marks don't apply to Zebra's and their descendants for some reason. Have to admit I was looking forward to some cool tribal design like Zecora's.

Anyway, I have been a guest of the castle since I arrived and started to get to know Luna after she was saved, though it took a bribe of chocolate gateaux to get things rolling, after that?

I'm a sci-fi nerd and I had an interest in the space race, Luna loves the ideas now open to her thanks to a thousand years of advancement.

Next year we start on Equestria's version of Sputnik.

---

Where was I? Oh yes, looking for the cutest Alicorn.

---

I'm running through the halls of the old castle, in the process of being restored after I reminded Luna one bad night wasn't enough to justify tossing away centuries of culture and History.

Not to mention finding her diary and returning it without peeking got me a kiss and a cuddle.

I trip and skid on my face into the old throne room, as I groan I hear a flutter of wings and an angel descends upon me.

"Ruyter, art thou unharmed?"

I smiled softly, pretty in pink has yet to break Luna of her olde tyme-y speak, "just a little bruised, there's a present for you in my saddlebags."

The lump in the pack lights up with the burnished gold of my magic and lifts out of the pack, popping the flap, it gets about a foot before a blue field grabs it.

"This comes not from Our moon," Luna noted, I stifled a giggle as she took out one of those eye glass things jewellers use to appraise gems.

"It's from my moon," I grinned as she her eyes widened in shock and the eye glass shattered on the floor.

"What... bwah... How did you manage this?" the look on her face tipped me over rolled onto my side laughing.

"Discord, actually," I told her as she went from pouting to frowning, a clear danger warning, "I noticed he's suspended the normal laws of magic and science and decided to have a little fun."

"But thou wouldst have had to reach between Worlds to recover this?" Luna pressed, "it is beyond even Our power?"

"The normal rules don't apply luv, and that's a gift for you... oofph," I grinned, then just held on for the ride as she flew over to me, swept me up and pulled me into a tight hug twenty feet off the floor.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou,"the Moon Princess mumbled emphatically into my mane.

"Anything for you, luv," I told her happily as she lowered us to a safer height, "Now, while I was experimenting I got thinking. Celestia has placed her hopes on the Elements and sadly they are dancing to Discord's fife."

Luna hung her head, "This... is true."

"However, with the normal laws, and therefore limits, of Magic taken care of by Discord," I gave her a roguish grin, "I thought that perhaps the one pony in Equestria with experience shaping worlds might be persuaded to turn the menace's own game against him."

She arced a perfectly sculpted eyebrow almost Vulcanly, "and how mightest we do this?"

My grin turned positively feral, "my dear, we use my knowledge of cartoons to turn his world so far of kilter he'll be in no state to bother the Element Bearers."

"Pray tell," she said, tilting her head cutely, "what are cartoons?"

By the time I'm done she's giggling uncontrollably, oh Discord... He'll have nightmares to the tune of 'The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down' soon.

Author's Note:

I understand the first part might seem odd but it's meant to be a voice-over narration.

Comments

[Shadow of doubt]

Interesting concept, but you introduced the characters weirdly and put too much detail in how he met Luna. Characters that are already in a relationship are better received if the reasons are explained gradually over the story (more common in tender momenta) but I do like the concept so far I will be watching this.

[ponyheart07]

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