I'm a guy who's watched the show, yet I'm neither a Brony norr an Anti-Brony. I merely watch, that I might better understand, and provide a bridge betwixt the two. I am the Knight of Space: I see all.
(If you leave a dislike, please let me know why you disliked it, as well as some comments on what you did like about it. Constructive Criticism is helpful!)
A human finds himself in trouble after discovering a Great Kanohi Olmak, and is forced to flee his home dimension, only to find himself in Equestria...
But, as little as he's heard about Equestria, it's not exactly "As Seen On TV"...
He's not the first human to arrive there, it seems...
And he's not alone, either.
Page generated in 0.083 seconds
Total duration
1,098 users online
1,972,139 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Interesting... I have a feeling Nova is gonna be working with you on this story... And you have my attention!
Hmmm... What is the Green Sun?
Uh oh... Wait... Gilgamesh?! How did he get there!?
7060987
Ok, just saying here...
I'm actually working with Nova, not the other way round. This is taking place in his 'verse, and I am thereby going to (try to) play by his rules.
As to the green sun... I've added a link to the page in the proper place, and again here! Obviously, I'm rather a large Homestuck nut.
And, nope, not Gilgamesh. (Thought you meant Gargamel there for a sec...) I've never played Earthbound, and as such, I feel I have no right to attempt to include or interact with it in-universe just yet. There is another, newer character who uses that as his theme, though... And I know more about the newcomer than about Earthbound altogether.
Sorry about not getting back to you very quickly. I was at work... And it's now ~2:45am for me as of posting this. :P
7061767 I had actually meant Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy, there's a Displaced version of him that has random music blasting off him.
Also,
I lost it at this sentence!
Heh, that line was inspired by
these
three
pages.
Hmm... Taking after Nova I see...
Ever so slightly, my friend. But the difference in length was because the intro has a story to tell as well. The idea for doing it was slightly inspired by Nova's, but is (probably) set in a different time. Or, at the very least, in a different place.
It was also inspired by the intros of several of the later Redwall novels, where it has characters from the time of the first book or later telling stories a out the last, as they understand it, and it usually serves to teach a lesson to those the story is being told to.
7089927
Of course, I will be revisiting that scene later... Probably much later...
*Drama intensifies*
Dang, was not expecting Caldoric to turn into a Turaga! Though... with the legs, you'd think he had turned into someone from the Convergence of Cyriss faction from Warmachine...
7269473
Nah, not that. It's supposed to be a sort of humanoid... Oh, wait. Spoilers.
The new title's relevance will be revealed...
Eventually...
My inner Homestuck is squealing at the references i'm picking up. this pleases me.
And your style is very flowing and comfortable to read.
This is probably going to be my new reading interest for the short time it will take to read up to the latest chapter.
7397758
All of the references. All of them.
Oh, it flows, you say? That's good. I almost felt that they were a bit... rough-and-tumble, I guess?
Dat Mulan reference!
come live in my Equestria! we have wolf-sized tyrannosaurs as an option for pets!
7514815
What about velociraptors?
Also, I'll get there eventually... Just gimme a bit to figure out how to work in a referral to your world's facility.
7515546 those too
i wasn't really rushing you, i was making a joke
Hmm... while I do like the story itself, there are a few things that I must state.
1:Self Insert. When you name your character 'Caldoric' when you are named Caldoric on this website, it's kinda easy to see where you got the idea from.
2: He never even considered how or why he suddenly became clad in armor, with a hammerspace to boot. In fact, there are many things a normal human being would question, such as the "physics being indecisive between normal and Minecraft". He doesn't question how his lightsaber suddenly became an actual lightsaber, how Makuta Teridax and GlaDOS are in this universe, and the list goes on. If I were in his shoes, my brain would have exploded from an overload of "what the hell?"
3: Pacing. Or rather, the lack thereof. He arrives in this world, runs like hell from Ponyville, Meets Makuta Teridax the very next day, builds a base, and gets kidnapped by a dragon. All within a single chapter. I know he'a telling the little one's a story, but it just seems extremely rushed.
These are the current criticisms I have with this story. Like I said, I like it, and it'S an interesting one, but these are likely some things you are gonna get multiple complaints about. You may do with your story as you wish, but I'm only stating what some people will consider as 'bad writing', when really it's great!
WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA
....This is a part of that series of stories?!
I haven't thought of that series in forfuckingever!
Okay...I need to take a bit to process all of this information. Many things are now clicking into place where once there was nothing.
7756149
Yup. Hence, Teridax in the first chapter. Also, I'm working with Nova on some stuff.
7756106
In response to your comments (thanks for the constructive criticism, btw! Always useful!):
1) When I first created this account, namely to post this story, which takes place in the Convergence Multiverse (as you now know, judging by your comment on chapter two,) I just typed in the same name and had done with it. I have been considering changing it to something less, shall we say, repetitively redundant, for this very same reason, but... other reasons (and life) get in the way. Will fix soon...ish. Good point, though.
2) Another good point. Then again, I'm not exactly the most "normal" dude out there. For the most part, I just tend to roll with the more outlandish things, whilst counterintuitively questioning more "mundane" things. I also believe that different realities/dimensions have their own set(s) of rules that they run by, so there's no real use questioning it, like questioning an unusual rule at someone else's house. "Hopefully, someone will be by soon enough to explain them to me, but until then, let it roll." Probably should've explained that in story, to be honest.
3) I do seem to have a bit of a problem with pacing, but you should've seen how I originally had the first four chapters... They basically covered everything through what will eventually be chapter 13 or 14 (once I finish #9, tweak #11, and a couple other things.) And Nova said I had a problem then. But still, point taken.
And man, will things be getting really involved with the Equestrians once chapter 10 is up...
Oy vey, those Lohrak can be nasty!
Damn, this is getting intense! Awesome work mate!
So Cal now has access to the hive mind, and we now know Roodaka's in on whatever Chrysalis is planning, but the question now stands... Is she truly helping the Changeling queen or is she planning a double cross...?