El Paso

Out in the badlands of western Equestria, people come and go. Often enough, a pony will leave behind a story that will be told for generations. Stories such as the one of a traveling musician known as Martin Robbins

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 13 )

Viewing 1 - 50 of 13
- Newest First
- Oldest First

#1 · Jul 25th, 2011 · · ·

If you are trying to go for Marty Robbins El Paso then great job, however there were a lot of grammar mistakes; ie 'i' instead of 'I' fix those and you have a wonderful story.

I think its great story and great song to base it on, and I would love to see you do Mr. Shorty or Big Iron. So thanks for the story.

~Saddletramp

Shameonapony

Shameonapony #2 · Jul 25th, 2011 · · ·

715

Finally somebody picked up on the origins!

I thought I fixed those mistakes, I will fix that tomorrow hopefully (if I remember)

anyways, I'm glad you enjoyed it! I most certainly had fun writing it.

I also made a promise to my friend Will that i would write a second story for 'Feleena' if I got enough positive feedback.

Shameonapony

Shameonapony #3 · Jul 25th, 2011 · · ·

Ok the grammar problems are fixed (as far as i know)

#4 · Jul 25th, 2011 · · ·

keep up the work!

#5 · Jul 25th, 2011 · · ·

Great story.
You're a good writer

#6 · Jul 25th, 2011 · · ·

Touching story. I love me a good Western. Some spelling and capitalization bothered me occasionally, though. Also, some more detail would be appreciated.
In total, 7/10. Good work, man.
Oh, and the line "The essence of her form was portrayed with such elegance and grace that my heart simply melted away." ? I remember reading that on the pony thread. Scored some points, lemme tell you.

Shameonapony