• Member Since 10th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

NineCaliber


A silly nerd that loves making people swoon every once in a while.

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Source

During a special picnic with Sunset Shimmer, Twilight reveals her concern that she thinks Sunset is losing her true pony self. Her suggested remedy? A rousing game of tag!

Sunset would have preferred a pop quiz.

Or a dangerous quest to recover some magical artifact.

Or anything else, honestly.


Cover art by Suramii. Takes place before Legend of Everfree.

Featured on the front page March 25th and the 26th, 2018. Thank you!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 24 )

Kind of shocked Sci Twi didn't beg and plead to let Sunset take her with her to Equestria. Just because that should totally be a thing the fandom should do at some point.

And not in a romantic way.

Love the story.

8817557
Yeah, it'd be amusing for the EqG to find some reason to go to Equestria!

And thanks.

Awwr. This was really fun!

Can we all just take a second to fully appreciate that cover art of Sunset with the world's greatest "Are you fucking serious bro?" face?

This was a nice SoL, and I'm happy I read it. That is all.

Also, I started writing this before Legend of Everfree came out, so I was writing a Sunset without the boost in confidence she depicted in that movie.

Not a huge issue, but I think canonically Sunset didn't go back to Equestria at all until Mirror Magic, which is set after Legend of Everfree.

I liked this story fairly well, but the ending bothers me because you don't do much with it. You have leadup to a climax of sorts, but then you tell us Sunset has an epiphany regarding being silly through exposition, rather than showing us, and her starting to play tag at the end seems to fall fairly flat because we're not getting details here.

To me, it's not really an ending so much as it feels more like you're still leading into the ending and cut off here.

Huh, I can say I never read something like that.

Oh, and...

A teacup halted on its way to Sunset's lips and she batted her eyes at the other unicorn.

I'm certain that you simply meant to write 'alicorn' instead.

Why is playing Tag depicted as a pony thing? Do the humans not have Tag or something?

8818340
Hopefully you enjoyed it! And yes, I meant alicorn. I'll clean it up later.


8818194
Did they ever say she hadn't gone back before that? I can't remember.

But y'know hey, this is kind of what fanfiction does right? Dances in the gray areas where canon gives us wiggle room? I'll go back and watch Mirror Magic again. If Sunset says she hasn't gone back to Equestria till then... I mean... I dunno, does one detail like that warrant an Alternative Universe tag?

When I put down that this takes place before Everfree, my main concern was establishing where Sunset was in her personal development. By Everfree she was a leader and more or less at peace with her past. Here she's not.

But anyway, thanks for reading.


8818271
That's a fair point. I think I wrote this... Hrm... Almost two years ago? I found the rough draft again by accident and worked on it all day.

One thing I remember was an idea to write a story where Sunset gets roped into this zany tag game that sort of grows to the point that nearly all of Ponyville is playing. I guess my funny bone was on the fritz back then as this came out more slice of life. When I was reading that again all this time later, what stood out to me was Sunset's reluctance, and that's when I decided that the tag game itself didn't really matter. The point was getting Sunset to play.

Which of course all sounds well and good, but execution doesn't always meet vision. You've caught me out sir! I wasn't crazy about the ending myself, but more for the phrasing and use of the story's imagery than your view. All I can say is, I'm going to tweak the ending so it sounds better, but for the moment I'm still fine with where it ends and the idea of how it ends.

Thanks for reading and the honest feedback!


8818456
Twilight recommended tag because it's something exciting, fun, and frivolous, which she believed Sunset could use with to let go of the things dragging her down. It's not a pony thing. It's a let's-have-fun-connecting-with-each-other-in-a-simple-way thing. If it came off to you like she was saying humans don't have tag or are incapable of playing tag, that wasn't my intention. But I mean... Sunset IS an upper classman in high school in that world. Tag isn't something she and her human peers would be doing a lot.

Thanks for reading!

8818573
As I said it is not a big issue. Certainly not important enough to need an alt-universe tag.

Very cute! I like it a lot!

When I used to play Freeze Tag, you just had to freeze in place for 10 Mississippis, and then you became "it." It allowed for tag backs, because it prevented the same two people from just tagging each other back and forth while standing next to each other.

That was a nice read, though I believe it lacked enough comedic elements to warrant a Comedy tag. The story seemed more like a humble character study with some light moments of humor. We might have different qualifying thresholds, though.

Wasn't her human friends

Should say "Weren't" as you're referring to a plural.

Was she really stopping herself from engaging in a frivolous activity because she was afraid of how she would look, or because she was afraid that her innocence was simply no longer inside her? And that she was lesser for it?

Sunset Shimmer took a deep breath.

Maybe the point... is just doing it?

This bit was the high point of the fic for me. People can indeed become self-conscious about how they may look when performing certain activities, and a faded love of something, whether concrete or abstract, can breed feelings of shame and/or self-fear, as if it lessens their character or something along those lines. Once more, it is important to know when to relax the mind and stop overthinking things. These are all issues I myself have faced or still struggle with, so I was better able to relate to Sunset's fears the way they are expressed here.

Very well done story, also.. not sure if anyone has said this but..

Horses play Tag too. They will chase each other, and nip, then spin and run as the one nipped chases the others down. I have spent hours watching them "horse around" when i was growing up.

8820946
Oooh! That's awesome, I didn't know that.

8820751

That was a nice read, though I believe it lacked enough comedic elements to warrant a Comedy tag. The story seemed more like a humble character study with some light moments of humor. We might have different qualifying thresholds, though.

A fair point! My humor can be on the extra dry side.

These are all issues I myself have faced or still struggle with, so I was better able to relate to Sunset's fears the way they are expressed here.

You know what helped me get this story over the finish line after almost two years of sitting as a half-completed draft? I have a four year old boy (who also loves MLP, because he's awesome) and he asks me to play with him. All... The... Time. I think I can safely say that playtime is quickly becoming the most challenging thing of parenting. It's brought up all these fears that maybe I look foolish, or that I've lost some fundamental innocence. When I see other moms playing so well with their kids, it makes me self conscious. Usually though, when I muscle through the negative feelings, I find I can have fun with my son on his level too.

Except for playing with dolls. I hate playing with dolls! Even when I was a kid! I'm more of a Playdoh/Lego kind of gal.

Thanks for reading! I'll nip that typo later. Just woke up and typing this on my phone atm.

Tag is fer ninnies. Axe catching, on the other hand...

A nice slice-of-life character piece! I might even suggest that moments like this were responsible for Sunset’s boost in confidence if you want to get all headcanony. Anyway, it reminded me of the quote (think it’s C. S. Lewis) that goes something like “Nothing is more childish than the fear of being called childish.” Something I’ve tried to adopt myself... Anyway, thanks for writing this!

8820950
My parents dog would get in on playing too. When we'd go for a walk in the field (apro. 100 acres), the horses would come up looking for treats. The dog would chase them across the field. When they reached the fence, they'd turn around and chase the dog back to us. Repeat until tired.:rainbowlaugh:

Not bad, but I can't help but feel that the human Pinkie is failing in her duties as a Pinkie Pie if the elementary concept of fun so eludes Sunset. And that meadowlark generated more distraction from the story than poignant parallels to Sunset's situation. Still, an enjoyable slice of life. Thank you for it.

Good story!
Did they had to share their food with the ants once they were done horsing around? (No pun intended.)

Ha! This takes me back... playing tag was always tricky for me. I was never the fastest kid. I struggled to keep up with others let alone catch up, so I had to play smart. Pretending my attention was elsewhere before veering off to an unsuspecting target when IT or deliberately leading who ever was chasing me into other players to throw them off me.

Was a fun read.

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