Antumbra

by Ice Star

Chapter 4: Maps to Everywhere We Haven't Been

She held it delicately in her lime green magic, as not to furl the precious parchment. The study was airy and well lit. Hardly and specks of dust or sand settled on the scrolls neatly tucked into the cubbies in their shelves. Plaques of gleaming metals listed the name of each scroll, the author, subject, date it was written, as well as who had recently borrowed the materials in glowing runes.

These runes were recorded in the arcane language used by many magic schools, or at least the more orderly ones that adhered to many laws and strict principles that left no room for the experimentation allowed by looser schools or guilds.

Stellaura laid the map on a nearby desk, smoothing out a corner as she did so. On it were bold strokes of colored ink detailing landscapes and borders, plainer hued stuff was used for writing out the names of kingdoms and citadels, some of which were as proud and grand as Marecca, although none were quite as special to the Princess. After all, this city was her home.

Her horn lit up with magic now forming a light to aid in her reading. All these places... they seemed so far away to her, which was far from the truth, but Stellaura wouldn't know, since she had never been outside of Al Far'iimbra and wondered what the other Alicorns were like. What were their kingdoms like? How did they contribute to the vast empire High King Noctus and High Queen Lumina kept in check? What made them different from her desert home?

She sighed and rested her muzzle on the desk.

Hasad peered over at what she was doing from across the table. "What is it, Sister?"

"Hasad, do you think that everything is going to be okay?" She dropped the majestic plural used by those born to the crown, which they were taught to use since birth. From the earliest days of foalhood this always that whatever she was discussing was serious even though most Alicorns her age spoke in the majestic plural, serious or not until they were teenagers when they finally started mingling with ponies.

His magenta aura lost control of the scroll he was holding, perhaps this question had caught him by surprise.

"What do you mean, Sister?" He replied, a mere repeat of the question he asked before. Hasad clearly looked puzzled by the vague question he was just asked.

"Well, Nora is trying to have me give a s-speech again and..." She paused, teeth chattering "...I JUST CANNOT DO IT! S-speaking in front of s-so many ponies and feeling like no matter what I do I do not belong, and the words never come, that I will never impress them like Nora does. I tried to tell her that this, this is the one thing I just cannot bring myself to do e-even though I know I cannot better myself if-"

"Sister," Hasad said firmly, magic collecting the scroll he had dropped. "Are you asking Us once again to give a speech in your place?"

"Yes," she whispered burying her face in her hooves out of embarrassment. The werelight she had conjured moments before snuffed out.

"Sister, look up."

Stellaura started sobbing.

Why was she always like this? Why couldn't she do anything? Was everything always going to be this frustrating? How could she ever be a queen if this kept happening?

"No, you have to stop this, Sister. Thoughts like that are not going to help you at all, and before you ask Us, yes we do indeed know your own thoughts were straying."

Stellaura looked up into her brother's concerned face, a curl of her dark violet-magenta mane falling between her eyes and aiding in the concealment of her own. "S-so will you consider...?"

Hasad shook his head in a clear indication of 'no'. "There is no need to even consider this. We have already made up Our mind and will give this speech in your place, as your frustrated state clearly need a break from your duties."

Stellaura nodded, although she still seemed downcast and Hasad noticed this.

"Sister, it is often said that the ones who hurt us most are the ones closest to us. This is especially true in your case, as we do not thinking anypony could hurt you more than your anxieties are now. We shall go to inform Elinora of this change."

Stellaura thanked him and when he left she sighed with relief. She just wished that asking for favors like this didn't make her feel as if she were manipulating her brother, however much he agreed.

She gulped and went back to poring over her maps and wondering what other country she might wish to visit in the future. There were lands filled with all sorts of creatures that didn't live here. When she was centuries younger Stellaura was shocked to discover that not every land was inhabited by ponies, horses, camels, buffalo, jinn, dragons, phoenixes, and the other creatures that lived where she did. Now she was nervous knowing how many creatures lived in the world. What could they possibly like? Maybe one day she would find, after all who could argue with an eternity to live over the few centuries that were allotted to all the mortal species. Only dragons neared anywhere close to the lifespan of immortals, but by the time they reached even a thousand years, they were frail and ancient. Little ever lingered.

She would see centuries roll by and watch empires rise and fall. They could be but children to her if she thought it so. She was not doomed to be like the few power-mad sorcerers who sought the only kind of twisted immortality that could be gained from the meddling they did in cheap enchantments that preserved nothing, or the fewer fools who thought any kind of technology would bring them a salvation that would never be. Their minds would twist and wither, and in no time at all they would become shells before they crumbled to dust.

The only magic that might come close to such things were the surges that created demigods, and some effects of spells only Alicorns and Harmony itself could produce, but none of these were the permanence that fools could only dream of. The few unhappy sorts tried and failed, their stories faded just as quickly as they surfaced. Neither a normal equine nor a demigod could handle immortality, and they were not known to. Only an immortal mind could bear eternity, and even mortals with hints and grasps of the trait and enduring spirit never found themselves among the everlasting.

It goes without saying that Stellaura would see many, many maps find their way into her hooves.

Comments

[RoyalBardofCanterlot]

I feel for her. Social anxiety is terrible.