Until the Biter End...
You know, usually you're much more standoffish than this. Usually you're calm, collected, a bit of a bitter and sarcastic loner. You generally don't go for physical contact, and you generally don't go out of your way to push anybody's buttons if you can help it. Today, however, you're willing to make an exception.
“Dawww who’s a cute little blue pony!” you croon out. "You are! Yes you are!"
Rainbow Dash looks up at you with an expression of pure and utter hatred. You can hear her grinding her teeth as you loom over her cooing out sweet nothings, and her face is growing redder by the second. Usually her anger would make you warry, but as you said, today is an exception. Today, Rainbow Dash is fair game, and you can tell she's hating every miserable second of your teasing.
Not that you care if she’s mad, you’ve never much liked the pony’s personality anyway. Always bragging, pretending she’s better than everyone else, never putting out when you suggest you go lift weights together and then have sweaty post-workout sex. But there’s no denying how utterly cute she looks right now. When Spike told you what had happened, you positively ran to see for yourself if the rumors were true (after giving him a swift kick of course). Now, you can see they are. And it's glorious.
After many MANY attempts, Rarity has finally gotten Rainbow Dash to go to the spa with her. It took bribery and threats, something about her having a special sleepy-time teddy bear, but that mistress of manipulation has done it again. You hear it was quite the battle at the spa, but they gave her a full washing, cleaning, scrubbing, drying, and polishing. Even down to her hooves. And now, squeaky clean and smelling like fresh cut flowers, Rainbow looks vaguely fluffy and completely cuddly. You simply can’t help talking to her this way.
The fact that this pisses her off is just a bonus.
“Knock it off,” she says, trying to sound tough as you let out another humming sigh of adoration.
As she speaks, her perfectly groomed rainbow forelock bounces a little, and a subtle blush kisses her cheeks. Her fur fluffs up a little with indignance, like a roosting owl. Nope, now she just looks even cuter.
“Dawww aren’t you just a cutie patootie!” you say.
Her blush deepens, until she's positively purple with embarrassment and anger.
“I said knock it off, Anon!” she says a little louder and poutier. “I-if you don’t I’ll…”
“What, snuggle-wuggle me to death?”
“No! I’ll…I’ll punch you right in the face!”
It sounds so forced, so empty. Usually it would scare you, but right now you simply can't take her seriously. You let out a condescending laugh and pat her gently on top of her head. Her eyes narrow as her sulking deepens.
“You are just too adowable Wainbow.”
“S-stop using Ws in everything!”
“You’re so fluffy and soft. From your widdle ears…”
Before she can protest, you reach up and wiggle both her over-groomed ears, holding them at the very tips. They feel like blue velvet under your fingers (the kind without butter.) She winces in embarrassment visibly as you do this, and it broadens your smile, as well as your bravado.
“…to your stout widdle button nose.”
Here you reach down and firmly but gently press your index finger directly into Rainbow Dash’s nose. Her nose compresses slightly, wrinkling at the bridge, and you can’t help but let out an audible “boop!” as you do this. Rainbow goes briefly crosseyed, glaring intensely down at your finger. She briefly looks like a confused and angry little bunny, the way her cheeks puff out and her neck cringes back.
Hnnngh, so cute and so annoyed! You’ve got to do that again.
Before she can say or do anything to stop you, you again reach down and boop her on the nose with your finger.
“H-hey! Stop!”
“Boop!”
“I said STOP!”
“Boooop!”
“If you don’t stop I’m going to bite!”
“Boop boop boooop!”
“I’ll…I’ll bite it right off I swear!”
“Boop!”
“I’m warning you!”
“Boo-”
As you reach down to once more humiliate the little blue mare, you suddenly see, way too late, her opening her jaws wide. Time seems to slow. Your pupils dilate as your finger charts its usual course to her nose, only to find a waiting, open, and flat-toothed mouth there instead.
You have a sense that you’ve made a terrible mistake.
The inertia drives you onward, unstopping, into her waiting jaws. Your fingertip touches her moist pink tongue, and for an instant you are surprised by how soft, smooth, and pleasant that sensation is. Then, before you can withdraw, her teeth come down. There’s a blood-freezing ‘CRUNCH’ as her teeth sink into your skin, then downward through your flesh. You feel a vibration, rather than pain, up your wrist and arm as the bone pinches, then breaks under the force of her massive horse teeth. You see her jerk away just as you pull back, and where there was once a finger, there is now a bloody stump.
Rainbow’s eyes go wide with horror, and she looks like she may throw up. A small trickle of blood stains her blue fur next to her mouth. Then, all you can do is scream.
“WHAT THE FUCK! OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK RAINBOW MY FINGER! YOU BIT MY FUCKING FINGER OFF!”
“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!”
You begin to howl, collapsing to roll on the ground, grasping feebly at your mutilated hand. She stands back from you, holding her hooves before her mouth with an expression that denotes confusion and regret. Your eyes focus enough to lock on her through your tears of pain. Your finger! You have to get it from her!
“AHHHH GIVE IT BACK!”
You lunge at her, blood spraying in rhythmic spurts from your finger stump. With a cry of defiance, you ruthlessly rip open her mouth and search the interior for what is rightly yours. But there’s nothing inside. Nothing. Her mouth is empty. You can feel yourself draining of color, and not just from the ever-growing blood loss.
“Where…w-what…” you manage to stutter, suddenly feeling a bit woozy.
Rainbow blushes in shame, and while it’s still probably cute you can’t help finding it disgusting now. How dare she be fluffy and adorable while you're sitting here fingerless and getting fainter by the minute.
“I…I was so shocked that I guess…I guess I swallowed it.”
“You WHAT???”
She winces at your words. If you could hit her right now, you would, but you've become aware that you don't have the strength for that. Hell, you don't have the strength for anything. You are shaking, and you stare helplessly in horror at the sheepish smile Rainbow Dash offers you. She shrugs a little, shaking all over too, but now with this slow, awful, creeping grin sliding onto her face.
“W-well…at least you learned one thing today, right Anon?”
You glare at her as you sway unsteadily on your feet. Learned? What is this bitch on about now?
“And what…the fuck..is that?”
You fall to the ground and look up at her bitterly, panting out your words as you do. Blood has begun to pool around you, and you can no longer feel your ravaged hand. Rainbow Dash almost laughs as she speaks, and as you begin to pass out from shock and loss of blood, her words are the last thing you hear.
“Being mean to others will just come back to bite you in the end.”
-End-
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Anon should have known that she'd fight tooth and nail for her dignity.
6950155
Dear god, how long have you had THAT one waiting.
Nom
XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD XD
I would have done the same to all ponies I cross. Nopony would be safe from the 'boops' and 'awws' of me!!
My body might be ready
Oookay
Oh
OH
God dammit
8/8 gr8 story m8
6951950
Keyword, might.
6951950
>>Xyseven
I wasn't ready for this, only partially.
Who knew pushing impulsively violent people would lead to horribly crippling dismemberment? Go finger.
AND THEN HE INSTALLED MIGHTY AUGMENTATIONS AND BECAME AN OVERPOWERED CYBORG AND ELEMENT OF ROBOTIC HUMANS AND THAT'S HOW EQUESTRIA WAS SAVED!! 010010000110000101101001011011000010000001110100011011110010000001001111011011010110111001101001011100110111001101101001011000010110100000100000001100000101111100111000
It's not sweaty post-workout sex, it's either a a fucking blow job or having a threesome with you, Rainbow, and the Deez Nuts guy.
(I have a comepletely fucked up mind. Cards Against Humanity has taken a toll on me.
I kind of want to look just to see what way you'd find to possibly make this concept horrifying, but I also kind of don't.
6952272
Oh, have faith, I did find a way!
6952276
I believe you there, sight unseen. I have complete faith in your abilities at that.
Was all set to call this my new favorite, but then...
and of course...
6950155
i.giphy.com/AzdZrT9OGEIyQ.gif
6952306 Hey! Don't be pointing fingers now! Puns are a wonderful invention...
6952378
Might you say they're punderful?
Sorry Lupus, had to do it.
6952387 Straight to the point, I like that!
You have no idea as to what you have just unleashed.
6952409
Welcome to my comments sections. You'll find you're among your people here.
6952387
6952409
memecrunch.com/meme/NWTJ/rage-intensifies/image.jpg
If your stories weren't so entertaining...
6952431
It could be worse, I could start replying in gifs.
Oh wait...
dashie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw9851-tumblr_m4o30oPnMA1qjxcywo1_500.gif
Oh my god I'm so sorry.
6952434 I feel at home!
6952434 i.giphy.com/ZanWL0MNtv3y0.gif
God damn it pencil, I wake up to find this waiting for me, and now I cant even remember what I was going to do this early.
Reminded me of this:
Sans? Is that you?
Man this story has something special about it, but I just can't put my finger on it.
6950155
6950162
I happened to like his oppression of all things good and right to make puns that make me cry from sheer disappointment of the human race.
There's a pun to be made here, but its not popping up in my head. At least this story wasn't too long and went to the point fairly quickly. Regardless, another good story with the usual Anon shenanigans as always.
Looking forward to your next one whenever its posted.
In Rainbow's viewpoint, could you say she took a bite out of crime? Meh, it was the only thing I could think of XD
*puts on sunglasses*
That story had some real bite to it.
Well... Anon got in Rainbowdash
I'd like more of these Anon mishaps where he tries something and ends up somehow getting major bodily harm and/or framed crime he didn't commit forcing him to make a group of ponies with special skil-I need to lay off the A-Team.
6959179
>Anon mishaps
Literally everything I write.
6959587 Can I marry you?
6959588
O-oh my...
In Soviet Russia, Rainbow taste you!
img.wonkette.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/russian_dancing_pony___rainbow_dash_for_dabu_by_diegotan-d4l2g0y.png
Maybe next time Anon won't push his luck, and he closer to post workout sex, after all he got a finger in her, they should dash to the hospital now, or Rainbow might eat him because he is so finger- licking good. I've gotta hand it to u Anon, (horribly disfigured as that hand is) this was good.
*sees the gore tag*
Mmmmm butterfingers...
Was it worth it
To write all that just for that last sentence
Cuz if so I commend you sir, I laughed
That lesson doh!
Ooookay then
I'd bleed on her, out of spite.
Spite blood.
Eh, I don't need that finger to fap.
To the author and everyone in the comment section;
you are all great and beautiful people, you all should be proud of yourselves!
you are all terrible people, and should be ashamed of yourselvesI enjoyed the buildup to the terrible great pun at the end!
Good job.
[youtube=p-zdeOzHx8s]
[youtube=LQ59UVFQJII]
6953020
Thank you for introducing me to that video.
You're the MVP of my day today (it is currently 12:38am)!
EDIT:
The part where he describes it as an assload of ponies and one donkey, is kinda reminiscent of Ponyville.
All I want to know it, Where did the finger go?
I've heard of finger food, but this is ridiculous!
7696712
Rainbow said it herself. She swallowed it.
7800486 Must've skipped over that part