Discord's Reign

by HiddenBrony

INTERLUDE: The Law

Author's Note: This was going to be DeviantArt exclusive, but I ended up writing a complete tone change and suddenly it fit back into the story proper. Enjoy!
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Tossing aside paper after paper, Discord grunted in annoyance. Who knew that getting the sitch on the Harmony girls would have so much paperwork involved? Still, all this confounded harmony and order sure did make hostile takeovers and espionage much easier. Within the Ponyville archives, the veritably bored draconequus started to lift the lines right off the paper, his arms turning the entirety of the documents around him into lasso of literary language. “I really don’t have a lot of time to spare until the darling little ponies get on the train to Canterlot. Find me a little something on a pretty little pony by the name of...” The word lasso hit a snag as Discord wheeled it about. Glaring at whatever offender may have stopped his nonsense, he was met by the bulging eyes of one very legal looking mare.

Discord noted that up until this point in life he hadn’t even considered ‘legal’ as a way a pony could look, but he was always in the market for something new. Snaking down to the beige mare’s level, Discord smiled his one-fanged grin at the mayor. “Oh, hello there! I didn’t even hear you come in!” Reaching out towards the frozen looking mare, Discord removed the line of letters from Mayor Mare’s hair with a delicate touch. “Sorry about that. You know how all this legal speak can be, am I right?”

“H-h-h-how c-can you–” Mayor Mare stammered out, before shaking her head ruthlessly. Stamping her hoof down, the fidgeting old relic suddenly straightened herself out, her eyes closed. “Ahem, excuse me, but this area is off-limits to non-employees. If you want to get information on anypony, you must go through our staff.” Having stated her intentions, Mayor Mare opened her eyes to see Discord flying in the air, his nose unamusedly poked in a book.

He looked down at her, slamming the book closed with a resounding tweet. “You’re not– serious, are you?”

Mayor Mare nodded in the affirmative. “Very serious. You’re lucky I’m letting you off with just a warning. The work on putting all these words back in the books alone is going to set us back a month.” Shooting Discord a smile that could-and-subsequently-had won elections, the elder pony started to shoo the spirit of disharmony out of her Archives. “Now, our usual hours are between nine and four, and you’ll have to set up an appointment with our receptionist–”

“Okay, no.” Discord halted in his tracks, quite tired with all the legal mumbo jumbo. “Do you know who I am?” His body arched over the Mayor Mare’s, his horn tussling her gray mane. After a moment of silence, Discord snorted.

Mayor Mare ignored it. “Well I’d like to know all of my constituents, but you must have somehow slipped my memory. Quite a deed for somepony who looks so... I hope you don’t mind me saying, unique.” Slipping right through Discord’s sinewy body, Mayor Mare trotted busily toward the door. “Although it doesn’t matter who you are, nopony is above the law.”

Discord stared in stark silence, the Mayor’s blue eyes scanning over him with practiced civility. “You’re joking,” Discord said, shaking his head. However, Mayor Mare kept a level eye on him. “You’re serious.”

“Absolutely. Now if you excuse me, I have a meeting to get to. If you’d like, I could escort you to the front desk,” Mayor Mare offered. In response, all she got was a long silence. Discord stared, his face pulled taut, resting it on his elbow.

Grimacing, his feet grazed the ground. Drawing himself to his full height, he sparked himself out of existence and reappeared in front of the Mayor. “I don’t really think you’re fully understanding the gravity of the situation here, little pony,” Discord began, “but I’m not in the market for any sort of laws or appointments.” Puffing out his chest, he made sure to flash his very imposing fang at the official. “I certainly am in no mood to deal with a receptionist—”

“Oh, you should!” Mayor Mare beamed, cantering around Discord as she went through the door. “She is such a sweetheart. And don’t worry about her eyes, they are quite unique. Not much unlike yourself, Mr...?”

Thoroughly deflated, the Spirit of Disharmony could only grunt out his name between exasperated sighs. “Discord. God of Chaos.”

“And I am the Mayor of Ponyville, you may call me Mayor Mare, as it’s my title for as long as I have office.” With the most professional smile, she opened the door to the front of the courthouse, Discord numbly following behind as she led him to the front desk. “Screwball! Be a dear and get this stallion an appointment, dear!”

Ears flipping up, Discord looked over to the receptionist. “Screwball? What a wonderful name!”

“Thanks mister!” A delightful mare called, her purple and white locks bouncing in the air as she appeared from under the desk with a clipboard. “My momma gave it to me when she saw my eyes and they were all screwy!” With a clear laugh, Screwball opened her eyes, revealing that they were just as wild as her mane, more spiral than iris. “What can I help you with?”

Opening his mouth, Discord raised a claw to request an appointment, but as soon as the words tried to come out of his mouth, he shook his head violently. “Wait, no. No. I didn’t come here to speak with anypony! I came here to get my hands on information regarding that animal-loving pony and cause as much chaos as possible while I’m at it!”

A long silence.

Suddenly, Screwball brightened up. “Oh! You mean Fluttershy? She’s the big animal lover around here!”

Discord stared at her. “I– yes. I suppose that’s her name.”

“Well! I don’t think she’s running any services from her cottage today, but if you’re here with the Photo Finish group, I’ve been informed to tell you that Miss Fluttershy has taken out a restraining order on Ms. Finish.” Screwball looked up and down, taking in all of Discord with her eyes before adding, “You certainly look like you’re from one of her magazines!”

Discord opened his mouth as he tried to retort, but he quickly took a look at himself. “Me? In magazines? Well, I don’t hardly doubt you, I am a magnificent specimen!” Aheming loudly, Discord snapped his fingers. “Well, I suppose I got what I came here for.”

“I’m always happy to help!” Screwball smiled, waving her hoof at Discord. “Let me know if you need any further assistance!”

Shoulders slouched, Discord shook his head. Walking away, he went over what just happened in his head. He had gotten what he wanted through sheer force of good will and the bureaucratic system available to him. His lip twitched, and he spun back around. “Well then! Thank you most kindly! For your help, I’ve decided to reward you!”

“Oh, thank you, but helping is it’s own reward.”

Her words sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard in his ear. “Yes, well, but I have something more than that!” Snapping his fingers again, this time with his lion’s paw, a small beanie hat appeared on Screwballs head. Almost immediately, the propeller on the top of the cap started to spin, propelling the earth pony into the air. “For how you’ve lifted my spirits today, I thought I’d give you a lift of your own!”

“Oh! My! This is–! Woo!” Screwball wiggled her limbs about, trying to stabilize her trajectory. However, as she laughed and soared, she made absolutely no attempt to stop her sudden flight. Discord’s smug smile would have lasted much shorter if it weren’t for the scream of the Mayor as she reentered the front hall.

“Screwball! What are you doing?” Mayor Mare called, galloping toward the center of the building. As she ran, the ground beneath the courthouse started to rumble with every step. Locking eyes with Discord, she kept her expression as neutral as possible. “Discord, sir, I can’t help but guess you have had something to do with the sudden aerial acrobatics course my receptionist has taken.”

Discord looked taken aback, putting a hand over his heart as if to recover from the shock of her statement. “I’m flabbergasted you could say such a thing! What if your constituents heard you make such baseless claims. I had expected a pony of your status to be above such smear campaigns!”

Huffing and puffing her cheeks out, Mayor Mare shook her head. Beneath her hooves, the shaking had started to worsen. “Yoooooou, I think I’ve seen and heard enough out of you to have more than enough base for my claims, thank you very much, sir. Now I demand you put my receptionist down before I contact the authorities!”

“Really now? I should think you would be much more focused on getting yourself down than her.” With one final groan, the entirety of the courthouse found itself detached from the ground below, rising into the sky with gleeful abandon. “Oh, isn’t this wonderful! Your own mobile airship, depositing your law across all of Ponyville!”

“Mr. Discord! Please, put this building down right now. I order you, with power granted to me by the Ponyville council, to cease your– Screwball, get back here!” During her speech, the pinkly pony had jettisoned out the front, taking the entire door with her. However, as she stepped forward, her balance started to shift as the building started to teeter in the air.

Discord stood still, moving upside down as the entire courthouse started to point at the ground. Mayor Mare, on the other hoof, was quickly moving to the ceiling from the northernmost wall. “Really, I think it’d look more intimidating if we had it pointed down, don’t you think? Like a pinpoint needle, ready to pick off any pony opposing your law!”

Mayor Mare’s eyes were bulging in her head as she looked up at Discord, who was still serenely smiling from the ‘floor’. “What do you want, Discord? Why are you doing this!?” she asked, her voice still maintaining just enough mettle to prompt Discord to respond.

Releasing himself from the floor, Discord started to drift in a dreamlike manner towards the chandelier, his eyes never quite leaving the Mayor. Even as he spun, she could feel his eyes on her, flipping and snaking with impossible turns and, more than once, rolling himself into a knot only to slip right through his own body. Approaching the Mayor, Discord slid across the ground on his stomach, before reeling up like a viper as he reached her. Smiling and, of course, flashing his one good fang, Discord eyes glowed a terrible color. “You want to know why I’m doing this?”

His breath smelled of garlic and oranges, his humid breaths causing her to blink multiple times as it stung her eyes. Leaning close, Discord put his forehead to hers. His arms, long since forgotten by the Mayor, reached up and seized the air around her. His paw reached her cutie mark and his claw tickled her neck. His tongue slipped in and out of his mouth, as if tasting her fear. “Because I need to change everything.”

Releasing his grip, Discord poked the Mayor’s nose with his paw with a fleeting laugh. “By the way, your mane’s pink.” And in a flash, he was gone.

Heart beating in her chest, Mayor Mare quickly pulled a piece of hair down to her eyes, staring at the most offending pink color she had ever seen. All facade of appearance fell from her as her eyes’ narrowed and she screamed over echoing laughter. “Scandal!”

Comments

[HiddenBrony]

I like to think Discord watches a lot of Disney cartoons. He seems like he'd be a big fan of Kim Possible and would use words like 'Sitch' for 'Situation.' He's such a nerd.

[Lemonschooner]

Well the Mayor's reaction was certainly unexpected. Props to her for maintaining that composure.

[Cheshire_Jackal]

Best chapter yet XD Props to the Mayor for keeping it together like that.. Loved how she yelled at Screwball for flying around, like she did things like that daily or something.. awesome.