• Published 8th Mar 2016
  • 2,126 Views, 107 Comments

We Three: Hebi No Onna - Eyeswirl the Weirded



Adagio Dazzle has snake-arms. Also; weird things happen.

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Chapter 9: Sayonara to Snake-arms!

With Adagio's feet limply trailing over the ground, the sirens were carried inside, where only their hypnotized mind-slaves would hear them. "Aria? Sonata? How would you feel about taking their offer?" They stared at her in surprise, which she met with a solemn look. "I've read that damn book cover to cover and found nothing I could use to turn us back. Those girls can dispell dark magic. I know our human bodies are a step down from what we once were, but if we don't get their help now, we may never even have that much again." It plucked something in Adagio's chest that her cute, serpentine sisters looked at her with fear.

"So, what," Aria asked with a worried frown, "we're just gonna surrender? After all this?"

"No, of course not! We're going to negotiate." She got two uncertain looks for this. "Even if we could outright enslave them, it's questionable whether or not we could get them to work their magic on us harmlessly while they were thralls, and we'd have some explaining to do if the book's magic dissipated soon after. This isn't even accounting for another appearance by some hitherto unknown element that completely swings everything in their favor again."

Neither Aria nor Sonata said a word at this. Adagio might have been a little paranoid ever since learning about the blue-haired girl and her magic car, but as they hadn't seen her with the Rainbooms this time either, maybe it was worth worrying about.

"We need them to work with us willingly, and to get that, we'll have to compromise."

Sonata pouted. "Aww, I hate compromising!"

Aria raised an eyebrow. "Surprised you know what that word means." She got an angry pout back.

"I know it means giving up stuff!"

"Yes," Adagio curtly interrupted, "but that doesn't mean we have to give up everything. We'll still reclaim our birthright some day, we'll still find a way to fix our gems, but the book, unfortunately, wasn't it. In fact, I'm thinking we can use it as a bargaining chip if things get desperate."

"But we still have to give up the hypno-powers?"

"I don't see a way for us to keep that and still return to individual bodies, Sonata, and the Rainbooms would never let us have even one servant through magic."

Sonata made a hopeful, pleading grin. "Not even a secret one? We could dress 'em in leather and say they're our gimp!"

Predictably, Aria flushed neon pink. "Gah, g-gawd, no! We're gonna have our own arms again, Sonata, so we won't need these guys-" she nodded to the two still holding them up, "-anyway!"

Not sold, Sonata pouted. "I know, but having to get stuff ourselves again is gonna suck!"

Adagio raised an eyebrow. "As much as being an arm?" Said arms were very quiet. "I'm actually a little surprised you two haven't complained more about being fused to me."

"Well, y'know," said Aria while flicking a fin, "I think all three of us were itching to get our magic back these last couple'a months, and it was kinda nice being in our old skin-" she smiled apologetically at Adagio's annoyed, envious stare, "-sorry, Dagi!"

"Rrrgh... I'm. Completely. Over it. Really."

"Right, uh... Anyway, by now? I miss having my own body, whether we've got people to do everything for us or not." Privacy was nice too, but she wasn't about to give her vicious sisters that kind of ammo.

"Alright," Adagio said with some finality, "then we go back out there, don't antagonize them any more than we already have, and see if we can't strike a deal that doesn't leave us as their servants." Sonata in particular looked shocked at this last part.

"They can't make us slaves when we're not allowed to have any!"

Aria rolled her eyes. "I'unno, wouldn't put it past 'em."

"Regardless," said Adagio as she rested her feet firmly on the floor again, shrugging off the two that had carried her, "keep those kinds of thoughts to yourself until we're out of this."

Having recuperated from their near-death experience with fatal hilarity, the sirens walked back out to the porch under their own power. Lemon had pulled herself together as well and was doing card tricks for the still-pinned, afro-addled Rainbooms.

"...And I know this isn't your card, but here in my sock is the Queen of Hearts!"

Twilight sputtered. "Whuh, h-how, when did-"

Rarity rolled her eyes. "I hope you'll forgive us for not applauding in our current state, Lemon Zest."

"No worries!"

Adagio cleared her throat, again looking down at Sunset Shimmer. She held her tongue regarding any and all comments about relishing the sight or being loathe to work with her of all people. "We have... agreed to discuss your proposal."

Her face brightening immeasurably, one would think Sunset had forgotten that she was still being held down. "Really?! That's great!!"

She really wants this, Adagio thought to herself, use that! But first, a show of good faith. She nodded. "Servants? Let them stand."

The Rainbooms were released. Most of them held their breath as Rarity glared at a very, very contrite Pinkie, but the young fashionista had apparently cooled off enough to wait until later to seek retribution, sighing as she offered Pinkie a little smile. It was returned with gusto.

"Okay," began Sunset, "so, what did you have in mind?"

"We'll release all of our slaves and relinquish the magic we've used to ensnare them. In exchange, we want your help in getting our old bodies back and the freedom to continue to try to fix our gems."

Sunset needed a second to process the statement. "Okay, uh... first, when you say 'our old bodies'...?"

"Being returned to our full glory would be lovely, but we'd settle for the forms you first saw us in."

"Ah, okay. If it's as simple as breaking whatever spell you used to turn into... that, then I think we can do that."

To Adagio's mild surprise, Aria glared. "We aren't letting you rainbow-zap us again!"

Rainbow, whom the servants had politely untied with Applejack when given the order to let them stand, furrowed her eyebrows. "What?! How else are we gonna break the spell?!"

"We don't care," chimed Sonata, her face equally annoyed, "but we don't wanna get hit with that thing again!"

"Ohh, suck it up, it's just lights and stuff!"

"Deal," said Sunset, "no rainbow-zapping." The exclamations of shock from her friends had her turn toward them, Rainbow in particular, with a very cold stare. "Do any of you know just how much that actually hurts?" The unsure looks going around said they didn't, though Twilight may have had an idea.

"I didn't get quite the same thing, but I remember that ray you hit me with being... unpleasant. If we're not fighting them, there must be a way to administer the same effect more gently, right? Because willingly taking your hand didn't hurt at all."

Nodding, Sunset turned back toward the sirens with a smile. "It might take some time, but I think we can work something out there." Then she slowly slipped into a frown. "But, uh... that second part, about your gems...?"

Knowing where this was headed, Adagio rolled her eyes. "Relax. We learned the first time what happens in a head-on conflict, but those gems were part of our bodies from the day we were born." She frowned a little herself. "We just want our birthright back, even if we can't go wild with it anymore." Truth be told, the gems could work with a lot more than just negative energy, but nothing else was quite as powerful and plentiful. Still, the Rainbooms didn't need to know that, or they'd be confined to songs about skipping in the sunshine for life.

Ever since she had come to this world, Sunset missed her horn. It wasn't a constant feeling of loss, but it never really left her altogether, either. She smiled in sympathy. "As long you guys can promise to resist the urge to cause huge fights and suck up the energy to keep doing it, I think-"

"Actually," interrupted Twilight while punching numbers into her pocket calculator, "from what you've told me about the sirens, all we'd really need to do to prevent their return is not argue, our group in particular, because if there's only one portal to Equestria, the odds of them finding anyone else with anything near the same level of magic are so abysmal that it's nearly hopeless."

"Are you accounting for the fact that they clearly found completely separate magic on their own?"

Twilight blinked, glanced back and forth at the snake-woman and her calculator, and pouted. "But... but... n-numbers!"

Still offering a sympathetic smile, Sunset gently pat her back. "Numbers may not lie, but sometimes they don't have all the data."

"Yea, yea," Aria cut in, "we'll keep our pants on, we just want our legacy back, okay?"

Remembering that she was given the benefit of the doubt too, if only by her friends, Sunset smiled. "Okay. Now," she glanced around at the mind-slave army, "there's one more little thing we've gotta talk about..."

Sonata rolled her eyes. "What? We already said we'd let 'em all go, what more do you want?"

Lemon actually answered this one first. "We've gotta say 'sorry.' I think that's where things really went bad for you guys last time; you never did the important apology part."

"We didn't get much of a chance," hissed Aria through gritted teeth.

"Maybe not, but we've got one now, right? Like this." She faced the Rainbooms, stood straight, and bent over at a 90-degree angle with her arms at her sides in a traditional, Japanese bow. "Sorry for all the trouble we caused."

There was a pause before everyone turned to look at the sirens, who looked over themselves in confusion. Adagio in particular seemed flummoxed. "I... Given the current distribution of my body weight, I don't think I can manage that pose without tipping over."

"Yea," remarked Sonata, "your hair would be way too heavy!"

"Shut up!!"

There were giggles from everyone but Applejack, who still wasn't looking anywhere near the talking snakes. "It'd prob'ly be enough if ya just said the words, Sugarcube."

Moving up to Adagio's ear, Aria whispered her complaint. "Do we have to?"

"Grin and bear it," she answered through a clenched jaw, "because even if all goes well, we're going to be powerless again soon." She addressed the Rainbooms at normal volume. "We're... sorry for causing so much trouble." The pill was easier to swallow when Aria and Sonata said it too. Unfortunately, Sunset gave them a sheepish look.

"That, uh... wasn't quite what I meant." Three irritable cries of 'WHAT?!' told her to talk fast. "I mean, that's a great first step, but I was actually referring to making things right with the people you've enthralled. You've torn these people away from their lives to serve you, and while they may think they're happy with that now, it's only fair that you-"

"Uhh, actually?" Lemon gestured to the sirens. "Dagi here pretty much gave everyone free reign to live their lives normally, it's not like we've just had everyone stand around the house this whole time. It might not have been for the nicest reasons, exactly, but nobody here was 'torn from their lives' for long, and she specifically ordered everyone to stay taken care of. That you caught us all together like this is sort of a happy accident." Lemon might have been disappointed about the lack of magical laser shows, but the hilariously gobsmacked looks of shock on the Rainbooms' faces was a pretty good consolation prize.

"Nobody here has really lost anything, guys, because for the average Crystal Prep student, most of the expenditures over the last few days have been chump change, and even the house barely makes a dent in the family that built half the city."

Sunset wasn't sold. "That... that may be, but it's still essentially theft, and stealing from someone just because they have a lot of something doesn't make it right!"

"The house could easily be made into a tea shop," offered Adagio, somewhat uncertainly, "I don't know how much the necessary renovations would add to the cost, but with the set-up we have in a few rooms, you could easily make the place into a relaxing hub for food, drinks, and civil discourse. Give it time, and that may eventually cover the cost of the place."

Her face doubtful, Rainbow crossed her arms. "How many people would really visit a place just to sit around sipping tea?" She was startled by Fluttershy's immediate answer.

"You might be surprised."

"...Okay then?"

"If they did the whole Japanese thing," continued Lemon, "people might pay more for the atmosphere than the drinks themselves, and there's gotta be something we can do with that flatscreen hanging from the living room ceiling."

"Alright, alright," said Sunset while dismissively waving one arm, "so you've more or less got that part down, now-... Rarity? What are you doing?"

As Sunset had been looking behind the sirens when she asked that question, they turned and were startled to find the girl in question fussing over Adagio's hair, even while her own remained a huge, puffy afro. "Fixing this messy top-knot of hers, it got all disheveled while she was rolling around on the floor- which is terrible for a kimono! -and I simply can't stand it any longer!"

Not wanting to do anything outright hostile at this point, Adagio tried to step out of her reach, but was immediately followed. "It's fine, just leave it!"

"It most certainly is not! My hair might be a trainwreck right now, but yours is an easy fix, like a crooked portrait that just needs righting, and the kimono could use straightening up too!"

"Oh, here, lemme!" Lemon quickly joined in, tightening up what had come loose during the shenanigans.

Increasingly baffled, Adagio had no words at all when Aria craned her neck around to look at Rarity.

"Careful back there, if the wrong hairpin comes undone, the whole thing'll break loose and rip your face off."

"Duly noted, Miss... You know, I never caught your name."

"Aria Blaze."

"Rarity, nice to formally meet you! May I say that your scales have an almost silken shine to them?"

Adagio beamed. "Right?!"

There were more giggles and exchanging of names (both groups had spent the longest time mostly referring to the other as 'the Rainbooms' or 'the Dazzlings,' give or take the leaders in each) before an agreement was made for everyone (barring the soon-to-be-free mind-slaves) to meet up at CHS to see what could be done about reverting the sirens to their human forms. As the Rainbooms walked back to the bus, Applejack gave Sunset a curious look.

"Ya sure we can trust 'em not to go doin' what they did again somewhere down the road?"

"Pretty sure. They could have taken the entire city, maybe more, as they were, had all the power they could have wanted, and didn't use it. If they could look at that and decide they didn't want it, there's gotta be hope for them too, because if it were me? The old me? I'd have made all of you my slaves forever without a second thought." She felt all the familiar twinges of guilt and shame, but her friends only smiled at her in understanding, which helped make it go away faster. "They had that same choice and chose to start over rather than pursue a path they knew they didn't want, even if it wasn't for the best reasons." Giggling, she winked. "Plus, if the legacy they wanted back is just their gems, I'm not worried, because I know enough about geological spell matrices to know that they won't be able to fix those things without the right equipment any time soon. And in the meantime, maybe they can make some more friends at CHS?"

Pinkie frowned. "Wouldn't that take them away from Lemon? Their first real buddy besides each other?"

Twilight shook her head. "If no one minds a bus-ride and they all have phones, keeping in touch is pretty easy. I may not spend time with them on a daily basis, but the Shadowbolts still invite me to outings sometimes."

"More importantly," said Rainbow, "those three don't go to CHS, I'm pretty sure they live over here now."

Chuckling, Sunset smirked. "Just leave that part to me, I think I can convince them to come back..."

~~~

That night, Rarity helped fix everyone's comical afros, exacting her revenge on Pinkie Pie by making her hair very, very straight. Pinkie's sisters interpreting this as Pie solidarity led to much confusion.

~~~

One week later...

The Dazzlings sat around a table in their old apartment in their own, separate bodies again, quietly enjoying a dinner of leftover pizza. Aria, as was common for her, talked with her mouth full.

"Corn't buhleeve they hulped us move back 'ere."

"I can," deadpanned Adagio, "it was their idea. To keep an eye on us, no doubt, but they were right about getting away from the people we once enslaved. We don't know whether or not all the memories of us I ordered them to purge are truly gone, or just deeply buried and might resurface someday, but not seeing our fa-well, my face, reduces the chances of anyone remembering anything we don't want them to." That she happened to know her way around this part of Canterlot much better was a happy coincidence. Really.

Few of their early lessons had stuck with Sonata by this point in her life, but table manners was, mercifully, one of them as she swallowed her mouthful before speaking. "I can't believe you went around asking all the brain-slaves how much they spent on us! The Rainbooms weren't around when we were letting them go and we could'a totally gotten away with that one!"

"We could have, but if I hadn't tallied up our debt, it may have come back to bite us, and that's if the Rainbooms don't outright force us into hard labor to pay it off." Propping up her head on one arm, she sighed. "It was nice of Lemon to repay all of them herself, but I don't know how we're going to repay her now."

Aria just rolled her eyes. She knew Adagio was serious about appeasing the Rainbooms if she was determined to 'clean up their mess' even when Lemon waved it off, eventually agreeing to let the sirens pay her back just for Adagio's peace of mind. That didn't cover the cost of building the house, but... "Lemon still helping 'em set up the new 'tea shop' over there? It's lucky that her family is all about that traditional atmosphere crud, because I don't think it would have worked if you hadn't set up the guys who paid to build the place into thinking it was their idea."

Adagio just chuckled. Erasing memories was convenient, but implanting them was an artform. "She called earlier today. If all goes well, the, er, Hebi No Onna Herbal Beverages shop should be open for business some time next week." This won an amused snort out of Aria.

"D'you really burn the book like you told the Rainbooms?" The sinister look on Adagio's face was answer enough, but she and Sonata were still treated to a cryptic half-truth anyway. It was something they'd long ago learned to live with, made easier with how those kinds of theatrics livened up their Sewers and Sphinxes games. Adagio was nothing if not emphatic as a DM.

"Ohh, I'd never dream of using the book that way again, especially after the trouble those nice girls went to to turn us back." Reflecting on that day, her smirk slipped away. "It, really was nice of them to refrain from just blasting us and hoping for the best." According to Princess Twilight, such an act while they were morphed into a creature of dark magic may have broken more than just the spell. Or their voices. Apparently, they were extremely fortunate not to have been physically fused to their gems in this world after all...

Turning pink, Sonata shrunk down in her seat. "It was kinda embarrassing when they broke the spell and we popped up naked..." Judging by Aria's sudden imitation of a Stop sign, Sonata guessed she agreed. She smiled sheepishly at Adagio. "Thanks for taking off the kimono so we weren't the only ones."

Smiling haughtily, Adagio brushed her hair aside, secretly thrilled to be able to do that with her own two arms again. "Any time. Princess Twilight joining in was a surprise, but she evidently doesn't like this world's arbitrary clothing rules any more than I do." She was equally surprised when Sunset didn't follow suit, as it were, but her turning scarlet while averting her eyes didn't make her claims that she was from Equestria and thus not bothered by nudity either very convincing.

The focus on someone else's embarrassment, Aria snickered. "The other Twilight actually fainted when the first one started taking her clothes off, bet that's gonna be awkward for her friends later!"

Sonata tilted her head. "Haven't you seen us naked a whole bunch too?"

Slapping a hand over her eyes might have been answer enough, but Aria never missed a chance. "Sh-shut up, Sonata!!"

Adagio had flushed crimson as well, ducking her head down in memory of her own agonizingly awkward moments when they were a snake-woman, but to her quiet gratitude, Aria and Sonata had never mentioned them since. Still, couldn't hurt to change the subject. "We don't have any classes together, so I have to ask; how have you two been doing in school, since we returned? Not getting harassed too much, I hope?"

Crossing her arms, Aria shook her head just as much to throw off certain images. "Just the usual dirty looks and snide comments, nothin' outta the ordinary."

"Hm. Well, I'm not exactly expecting anyone to trust us, but maybe we can use that disdain the 'friendliest school in the world' is happy to throw our way. I can't begin to guess how long it might take, but we will repair our gems some day."

There was a pause. Aria frowned. "So, uh... When that happens, what exactly are we gonna do with our magic? Because if I'm bein' honest? Trying to make people our slaves hasn't ended well since before we were banished." Judging by Adagio's grimace, she hadn't forgotten either.

"We'll, um... We'll have to be careful how we use our birthright when it's returned to us, yes. The Rainbooms won't show any mercy the second time. Still, like I told them, I'd settle for just having it back, even if we have to restrain ourselves."

Sonata smiled hopefully. "But, we can still make people fetch us stuff, right?" Her sisters chuckled, which probably wasn't a 'no'!

"More importantly," said Aria while directing a severe expression at Adagio, "you're gonna take it easier with working on those things, right?"

"Of course not," she scoffed, "why would-ack!"

Aria and Sonata were both doing the one thing she thought they'd never be able to sway her with again after the loss of their scales, fins, and snake-like eyes; giving her a double-dose of puppy-dog stares. She felt her willpower crumbling apart like a dried sandcastle. It wasn't like they were asking her to stop altogether, right? They wanted their gems back too, but Aria had a point in that spending every waking moment trying to repair them hadn't done them many favors. In fact, what was the lesson their own servants had posed to them? That maybe obsession wasn't all intent focus and desirable results? She sighed.

"Alright, alright, I'll... I'll find a hobby or something. Maybe make a new campaign in that game we played a few times."

Sharing a quick look of contentment, Aria and Sonata smiled, the latter in particular. "Y'know, the Twilight with the glasses saw our books when we were moving, and said her friends play it too. She even invited us to join them the next time they got together for a session!"

"Really?" Aria grinned wickedly. "Sweet, I can roll a thief and rob 'em all blind!"

And the siren sisters laughed. They may not have known exactly what their future held, but as always, they would face it together.

...Just, less-so than they had as woman with snake-arms.

Author's Note:

Forgive the slightly cheesy ending, but they were eating pizza at the time.

And so ends part 1 of the We Three series! Don't worry, this one is only supposed to be a trilogy, as opposed to another really long story I rarely update or that other series of mine that's due to be about 11 or so parts in total.

The really fun news is that for the next one, you'll be deciding what happens! It'll be a bit of an experiment, but I can hardly wait to see how it goes!

Also; just going to stomp on the embers a bit now; that possible memory resurfacing they they talk about at the end? It's false, my Word of God here is that the memories are indeed gone, but the sirens can't know that for sure, which was a large part of what Sunset used to convince them to skip that part of town.

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Comments ( 18 )

The really fun news is that for the next one, you'll be deciding what happens! It'll be a bit of an experiment, but I can hardly wait to see how it goes!

I really don't know if that's a good idea, but here's hoping for the best.

7273492
The plan is something more structured than having everyone comment with random suggestions and picking one out of a hat, but I'm not sure how it'll go either. And that is what makes it exciting! :pinkiehappy:

Huzzah for a happy ending and a trilogy! Looking forward to the second part.

And nobody was hurt or even inconvenienced!

Except the people who were brainwashed for a few days, completely changing their priorities and wants, at very least changing their thoughts for days and days.

... :unsuresweetie:

Everyone was like "they did some terrible things" but nobody was able to mount a serious attack on the idea that brainwashing was bad, and it was successfully argued that several days of brainwashing dozens of people was water under the bridge.

7275104
I don't know if it was spelled out clearly enough, but the victims' memories of the sirens were erased, so at best they have a hazy few days in which they're not sure where they occasionally wandered off to or why. I can understand that being scary, that it wouldn't take much to piece together that something strange had happened, and that all of them were victims of the same thing, but as no one is hurt, nothing is missing (with Lemon having repayed them any money they spent to please the sirens, who owe her now, and plans made to cover costs of the house as best they can), and they've already been willing to forgive worse, what else can they do but drop it?

That said, it's not as though the sirens are redeemed with this and everyone trusts them now, especially considering that they're still trying to fix the gems.

I had A LOT of fun reading this story! You explored some great concepts and tied them all together brilliantly. The resolution was a pleasant surprise - something quite befitting of the core franchise! The "bad ending" you described was just as clever. I also liked the notion of Lemon Zest being of Japanese descent (maybe it's her green hair).

I look forward to reading more of your tales. :twilightsmile:

7276629
Glad you enjoyed! :pinkiehappy:

I think I went with Lemon being Japanese because it went well with the Hebi No Onna's motif (needed an explanation for the kimono and the style of the house), the rest just kind of fell into place on its own.

A great ending. I was worried the slam-book would appear in-universe at the last second and derail everything, but luckily it didn't. Rarity chasing after Pinkie was hilarious!

7273531 I hope the next part of the trilogy involves Adagio DMing a game of Sewers and Sphinxes for the Dazzlings and the Rainbooms. She'd be a killer DM!

7291794
She does send them out! I've gone over the movie at least four times and still missed that part!

...However, I don't quite buy Shining, a student who worked under her before, and Cadence, someone who works under her daily, not knowing what kind of person Cinch really is and why Twilight might change her tune so quickly, especially after Cinch brings up the completely unrelated matter of the study program Twilight is interested in.

That said, Cinch picked someone that had won before and probably has better memories of it than Twilight would, so it's possible Cadence and Shining turned to each other the second the door closed and went
"She's threatening her, but it's virtually guaranteed to turn out okay and everyone'll get what they want in the end, so might as well play dumb."
If not for the magic part that none of them knew about, they might actually have been right.

7291812
Lemon isn't exactly meant to be seen as in the right for what she's saying, if the part where she willingly, knowingly works with the bad guys just for the sake of a cool spectacle wasn't hint enough.

It's a Sirens-Apology tour and it makes the heroes look worse than they really are.

Is anything said here false? Did Twilight not get forgiven immediately even after nearly tearing reality itself apart? Should the sirens not have fled after finding themselves powerless (which they didn't know for sure until after they started trying to sing again) before a crowd that started throwing things at them? Is there not a measure of manipulation, even without ill intent, (mileage may vary on whether or not peer pressure counts as part of that deal, I guess) to friendship? Did our wielders of that very force not badly drop the ball a few times, whereas the sirens (surprisingly, given their characterization) have apparently stuck together no matter what happened to them?

I wouldn't say it's making anyone look better or worse than they really are, just laying out details that curiously seem to go unnoticed most of the time. Like someone being sent out of a room just before forceful coercion starts. :derpytongue2:

7291937
They turn the whole getting-pelted-with-fruit thing into quite a drama, don't they?

If you think back to the first movie, Sunset Shimmer was left lying in a crater. Crying her heart out. And then ordered to rebuild the damage she caused by hand. While almost the entire school hated her guts, day in and day out.

And she worked through that. She has every right to tell them to suck it up; it wasn't like they couldn't approach them for a truce at any moment. But before that could even happen, Twilight admits she was fully in control of herself during her rampage and thus undermines Sunset's point, despite the fact that seeing Spike in distress actually snapped her back out of her power high long enough for Sunset to overpower her.


You did write in the author's notes that you wanted to have the heroes' quirks show them in a bad light during an important scene. Well, you succeeded. Rarity attacked Pinkie when normally, they are thick as glue when it's most important—in fact, that's the lesson they learned the first time they went up against the Sirens. They forget this just in time to look like the worst friends and make the Sirens look good in comparison.

It doesn't help that your interpretation of the Dazzlings here was veeeeery generous towards them. Would this Adagio ever call her companions idiots? Or would this Aria ever call Sonata the worst? Apparently, they got over that.

The whole thing was fun until the Rainbooms entered the scene. Then, it stopped being fun. I even rushed through the second half of the last chapter, with the intention of coming back to it later. But I was kinda frustrated with the thing.

And I feel really rotten for saying that.

7292009

If you think back to the first movie, Sunset Shimmer was left lying in a crater. Crying her heart out. And then ordered to rebuild the damage she caused by hand. While almost the entire school hated her guts, day in and day out.
And she worked through that. She has every right to tell them to suck it up.

If you think back to the first movie, Twilight got to talk to Sunset before the crowd could have a go at her. That's why Sunset specifically outlines that their circumstances were quite different in this chapter.

it wasn't like they couldn't approach them for a truce at any moment.

It wasn't like they trusted that they'd get the same mercy as Sunset (and even if they did, weren't keen on weathering months of hate and scorn when they could just run off, fix the gems, and try something else next time) if they came crawling back, either, hence feeling it necessary to work out a deal while they were still in a position to bargain in the next chapter. There, they come crawling back because it's the only way they know to break the spell they accidentally put on themselves and they don't think they'll get away with it if they try running again.

But before that could even happen, Twilight admits was fully in control of herself during her rampage and thus undermines Sunset's point, despite the fact that seeing Spike in distress actually snapped her back out of her power high long enough for Sunset to overpower her.

He wasn't in distress, he just called out and made puppy eyes at her. Emotion overpowering megalomania isn't an uncommon trope, but that's part of why I think she knew what she was doing if it took so little to slow her down. Note that she didn't stop resisting entirely even when 'snapped out of it,' just that Sunset took advantage of the opening.

You did write in the author's notes that you wanted to have the heroes' quirks show them in a bad light during an important scene. Well, you succeeded. Rarity attacked Pinkie when normally, they are thick as glue when it's most important—in fact, that's the lesson they learned the first time they went up against the Sirens. They forget this just in time to look like the worst friends and make the Sirens look good in comparison.

"So, I wanted to try a scene in which the heroes don't fight, get knocked down, and then miraculously get bailed out by the hand of fate, and their crazy idiosyncrasies are actually annoying and inconvenient." is not the same as "I want to make them look bad," though I guess in going for contrast with the usual number of ego-inflating heroic spectacle, that was bound to happen.

Here, most of them don't really even see the sirens as a threat in light of how things have gone before, similar to your (comedic, I imagine) idea of how Flash might have responded, because while they don't get ultra instant-win magic out of nowhere this time, they're still vaguely on the same wavelength as Lemon in thinking it'll just work out for them no matter what happens, if only in an unconscious kind of way... and as the next chapter shows, they're right, even if not in the way they expected.
Rarity chasing Pinkie around even when at the end of her rope was a bit much, but they very nearly stopped the sirens by making them laugh regardless.

It doesn't help that your interpretation of the Dazzlings here was veeeeery generous towards them. Would this Adagio ever call her companions idiots? Or would this Aria ever call Sonata the worst? Apparently, they got over that.

Sorry if I'm not referencing the popular lines as closely as you might like, but Adagio doesn't call them idiots more than once in the movie, as part of an attempted cover-up in front of Sunset, at that. While I've not been attentive with the borderline meme of 'Worst' name-calling, Aria and Sonata still bicker in this story on about the same level as before. Truth be told, the sirens actually spend most of their screentime cooperating fairly well, even while facepalming at Sonata's stupidity.

Still, I don't know if I adequately demonstrated that Adagio still doesn't hold the highest opinion of her sisters' intelligence while she was having her fun nuzzling their 'cute' little faces, because I had no intention of whitewashing that detail. You'd probably berate kittens a lot more if they weren't fuzzy(scaly in this case) and huggable, too.

The whole thing was fun until the Rainbooms entered the scene. Then, it stopped being fun.

You know, I had similar thoughts regarding the Dazzlings being dealt possibly* the harshest penalty for defeat (on top of apparently being abandoned in another world) in the entire series after being outright robbed of a hard-earned win, then vanishing off the face of the earth with no questions asked at the end of Rainbow Rocks.

*Though heck, for all we know, they got over it right away and went off to be part of an underwater ballet or something. It's a bit of a leap when you think about it, but not impossible.

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Sorry if I'm not referencing the popular lines as closely as you might like, but Adagio doesn't call them idiots more than once in the movie, as part of an attempted cover-up in front of Sunset, at that. While I've not been attentive with the borderline meme of 'Worst' name-calling, Aria and Sonata still bicker in this story on about the same level as before. Truth be told, the sirens actually spend most of their screentime cooperating fairly well, even while facepalming at Sonata's stupidity.

Still, I don't know if I adequately demonstrated that Adagio still doesn't hold the highest opinion of her sisters' intelligence while she was having her fun nuzzling their 'cute' little faces, because I had no intention of whitewashing that detail. You'd probably berate kittens a lot more if they weren't fuzzy(scaly in this case) and huggable, too.

It's not about popular lines. It's about how their relationship felt. You think the namecalling memes are overdone considering how often they were on-screen? Well, you have them apologising to each other again and again. How often did that happen in the film? Adagio threatened Aria into submission one time, and not with smelly socks. If there ever was a time to say 'I'm sorry', that would've been it. They were caustic, sniping, and never said anything hinting at a true affection for one another. That doesn't mean it can't be there, but here, it came on awfully sudden and quick.

Now compare that to how the Rainbooms were presented.

"So, I wanted to try a scene in which the heroes don't fight, get knocked down, and then miraculously get bailed out by the hand of fate, and their crazy idiosyncrasies are actually annoying and inconvenient." is not the same as "I want to make them look bad," though I guess in going for contrast with the usual number of ego-inflating heroic spectacle, that was bound to happen.

Maybe I just don't get it, but for me, the above coupled with how perfect the Dazzlings looked compared to their enemies as well as their movie selves just kills it. I dunno. I want to like this story so much, but like I said, it's like I'm reading the EG booklet thing again, only now written by the Dazzlings.

/sigh

Maybe it'll clear up when I read that last chapter. Maybe I'm just overreacting. I usually love your writing to pieces, so I don't know what happened this time. I'm sorry.

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It's not about popular lines. It's about how their relationship felt. You think the namecalling memes are overdone considering how often they were on-screen? Well, you have them apologising to each other again and again. How often did that happen in the film? Adagio threatened Aria into submission one time, and not with smelly socks. If there ever was a time to say 'I'm sorry', that would've been it. They were caustic, sniping, and never said anything hinting at a true affection for one another. That doesn't mean it can't be there, but here, it came on awfully sudden and quick.

It's entirely possible that in a few months of desperation to get their power back and subconsciously huddling together with the niggling fear that they'd be found any day, they might have undergone a bit of character development together. Not tons, granted, but as I get the feeling the sirens were specifically meant to have no redeeming traits in RR (and they really don't) so the viewer could feel vindicated no matter how sharply their fate contrasted Sunset's, any measure of kindness at all may feel like too much change from the source material.

Maybe I just don't get it, but for me, the above coupled with how perfect the Dazzlings looked compared to their enemies as well as their movie selves just kills it.

I can kind of see where you're coming from here, and perhaps I can help. (Pseudo theme-spoilers!)
This series is partly my attempt at exploring Aria, Adagio, and Sonata as the Ego, Superego, and the Id, respectively. It isn't a perfect representation of the theory by a longshot, but with Adagio completely in control as the Superego (the part that strives for perfection of oneself, as I first understood it), they're far more collected than their more human opposition, same as in the film.
That, combined with the fact that the Rainbooms weren't terribly competent without their all-powerful rainbow beams in the first place, may present things in a very different, less flattering light than you're used to.

/sigh
Maybe it'll clear up when I read that last chapter. Maybe I'm just overreacting. I usually love your writing to pieces, so I don't know what happened this time. I'm sorry.

Please don't apologize for not loving something that bugs you, it's part of what got me to write the sirens in the first place. :twilightsmile:

For what it's worth, the sirens (and Lemon) don't exactly get off scot-free for all this, because 100% karma-aversion like Sci-Twi got annoys me, so they will have to make amends later on.

hehe, that's an ending i like. things pan out, but with more potentials in the future, pizza and some D&D potential talk.

I call the halfling sling-staff user in a silly hat!

Really though, i wonder how Adagio would DM. id love to see that. i wonder what her narration voice is like. hm...

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hehe, that's an ending i like. things pan out, but with more potentials in the future, pizza and some D&D potential talk.

The sequel is already ongoing, now with audience participation! :pinkiehappy:

Really though, i wonder how Adagio would DM. id love to see that. i wonder what her narration voice is like. hm...

You may yet get to find out. :raritywink:

oh. and the bad end and what it took to get here? i see... i had never heard of that tell all book, and frankly i think im glad i hadn't. so much book canon is up in the air these days, and though i haven't seen it, something tells me i wouldn't want to. great bad end, though!

From what I understand, the tell-all book is "This is how teenage girls act!" according to grown men. Cannot recommend, and have learned not to take seriously anymore. Everything outside of the show/movies, I hear, is 'soft canon,' translating to "Take what you like and leave the rest."
I vote to leave the tell-all book in a dumpster.

I know im quite late to this line of dialogue, but really, i take a fair bit of my perception of the characters that i enjoy, like Adagio, from your writing. its something to be said that i often mention sucker for a cute face as one of my top favorite fics ever , usually gushing about the character interactions and the little details- but not wanting to spoil, so tounge tying myself into a kind of fansquee. that said, departures from how characters are assumed to be adds a wonderful zest to reading stuff like this. the differing touches are quite nice, often enough. so a bit of a different Dagi from that is still plenty good to me.

SFaCF-Dagi is definitely a fun interpretation, to the point that I find I'm using something similar to her in one or two other stories, but with enough details switched around to still (hopefully) feel fresh. Glad you've enjoyed the story to such a point that it left that kind of impression! :twilightsmile:

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The sequel is already ongoing, now with audience participation! :pinkiehappy:

now i was aware of the sequal.. but audience participation? i may need to mosey on over far faster than i wagered. i wonder how the paritcipations works. ahh, ill see!

You may yet get to find out. :raritywink:

*smiles gleefully. well. as gleefully as an eye can* OOH OOH OOH, I wonder if ill learn a trick or two from her.

From what I understand, the tell-all book is "This is how teenage girls act!" according to grown men. Cannot recommend, and have learned not to take seriously anymore. Everything outside of the show/movies, I hear, is 'soft canon,' translating to "Take what you like and leave the rest."

I vote to leave the tell-all book in a dumpster.

aye, i heard that as well- no tellin' when a tie in book or comic gets pulled aside by the Retcon brigade on top of that (and with no fabulous batons either, why i never...). no problem dropping that one in there and ignoring it for more useful purchases. at this point i cobble my own "canon" based on the efforts a good folks like you. speaking of which...

SFaCF-Dagi is definitely a fun interpretation, to the point that I find I'm using something similar to her in one or two other stories, but with enough details switched around to still (hopefully) feel fresh. Glad you've enjoyed the story to such a point that it left that kind of impression! :twilightsmile:

well, it was really easy to enjoy. to me, you are great at writing my favorite characters in the series (the Sirens), and even with a premise like the one presented here (which i just... didn't know how to take it at first), you are great at setting up both funny moments ("roll for Sense motive!" nailed me) as well as heartwarming ones and cute ones (aww'd at Adagio loving the scales) in your own style. for lack of a better word right now, what you do is "just right" for me. SFaCF is also a special case because it consists of a paring that i didn't even realize i wanted and badly until i read it. Boy has it delivered and hard.

Yeah. the Wanderin' Eye is likely ta keep lookin' your way.

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now i was aware of the sequal.. but audience participation? i may need to mosey on over far faster than i wagered. i wonder how the paritcipations works. ahh, ill see!

No rush, the latest chapter was only posted yesterday, so there's almost a week before I even get started on the next one. :pinkiesmile:

well, it was really easy to enjoy. to me, you are great at writing my favorite characters in the series (the Sirens), and even with a premise like the one presented here (which i just... didn't know how to take it at first), you are great at setting up both funny moments ("roll for Sense motive!" nailed me) as well as heartwarming ones and cute ones (aww'd at Adagio loving the scales) in your own style. for lack of a better word right now, what you do is "just right" for me. SFaCF is also a special case because it consists of a paring that i didn't even realize i wanted and badly until i read it. Boy has it delivered and hard.

I heard somewhere that it was best to write the kind of story you'd like to read, and comedic slice-of-life with a side of cutesy romance (not always present in my work, but I do like me some shipping!) and some wacky antics is definitely something I enjoy. :pinkiehappy:

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While I know your comments were from over 2 years ago, I just wanted to say that your thoughts on the story mirror my own reaction fairly well, which is nice because it means I can just say I agree with you rather than writing anything else out.

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