• Member Since 20th Dec, 2013
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David Silver

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Richard Von Dracula is a very proud vampire, from a very proud lineage. Well, he was, until his blood seemed to sour. All he produces these days are bats. Not even normal bats. Bat ponies! They're not even VAMPIRE bat ponies! He's forced to make do.

Chapters (18)
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Comments ( 209 )

Not quite enough for me to really understand the story, but knowing you there will be a new chapter probally by morning

6947999 One a day is my goal! I'm generally pretty good at meeting that goal.

demense - demesne

You let himm go? - You let him go?

that may reveal - that might reveal
Everything is off to a solid start. You have my interest, sir.

6948070 Yes... you are. Still need to finish reading the pony zombie story. I kinda got overwhelmed by that. But Overwatch Hype is more important for meh atm.

6948117 Our first typo report! I'm delighted to have you aboard, good sir. You make every story a little better by being such a great reader and commentor.

I have yet to get through three paragraphs without laughing insanely. I should walk to the store post haste to buy more beer. I haven't enjoyed nyself this much since I watched "Humanoids of the Deep" for the fist time as an adult.. I may have to read this sober!

Oh No, a new story is a new place for typos to hide!)

6948497 It's true! That's why I need faithful readers to report them as soon as they show their faces.

You've caught my interest enough that I'll post corrections for errors I spot.

"You call, mister Richard?"


6948547 Glad to have you aboard, and I spotted another typo lurking nearby. Always nice when we get a two for one deal.

"vampire," Down vote for not using vamp-pony Oh sorry I did not see the human tag. So down vote because you did not have any.

Odd beginning with little yet to go on.

I am most intrigued by this teasing glimpse of Richard and his not-very-threatening minions.

I feel like the Richard/Rick thing might get confusing at some point

I'm certainly looking forward to how this progresses.

I think there's a pill for that.

Yes that was totally a vampire impotence joke.

David, David, David... :facehoof: You come up with some of the most... interesting concepts.

Not that I'm complaining; the world needs more overly-helpful non-vampiric batponies, and not just for tormenting irate descendants of true vampires. I, um, would really like to have my own guardian Lilly. If you want an audience, just bring an apple! :derpytongue2:

So it looks like Richard has staved off two of the most inevitable forces of the world: death and taxes.

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all night. :pinkiehappy:

I think I like how this is going! Hopefully his new minion does his job well and still manages to screw things up. Why do I feel that our vampiric lord will be wanting a stiff drink by the middle of the story?

As the once-human sank in Richard's grip, he pulled away from that spent neck.

I really feel like I should be making another impotence joke here. Maybe something about issues with penetration.


Just when you thought it was safe to be serious... "Oh gawdammit, Lilly!" :rainbowlaugh:

Watch Orange Peel be a vampire fruit bat :rainbowlaugh:

"You're getting better are preparing this muck."


might thing - might think

Why's - Why're

Definitely enjoying the change of pace in this story.

The setup and pay off for Orange Peel had me laughing hard enough that I had to stop reading for a few minutes.

Richard D's character is chewing the scenery so heavily that I will be imagining him as played by John DeLancie from now on.

Do the children of the night make music?

6950254 I'm enjoying every character in the story so far. They each have an important part to play in this comedy of failure and humiliation.

What's a vampire have to do to get some respect around here?!


What's a vampire have to do to get some respect around here?!

Not make adorable, fruit-loving, ponies?

6950470 He's trying! He'd damn it all, but he's already damned and such.

I can't get Hotel Transylvania out of my head when dealing with the characters interactions. Richard is talking in Adam Sandler's voice in my head. It is hilarious.

His servants are like the servants in Black Butler. Great combination.


While the writing is Mr. Silver's, this specific scenario was proposed by Lab and ValanceBond and I. Mr. Silver thought it was amusing enough to give it a try.

You call him Peach in two of the first three paragraphs.

Peach - Orange -or- Peel (?)


Too cute! I cant stop smiling as I read this. :twilightsmile:

6953143 Oops! Typos fixed. Orange has many things to worry about, but typos will not be one of them!

So I think we will have two inept vamponies here. So how long till we get a third so we can get some stooges action?

6953179 Hale and Pace? The Two Ronnies? Absolutely Fabulous? Abbot and Costello?

Come on, there are plenty of amazing comedy pairings. Or, if Orange somehow manages to at least get these two back to Richard, we might have enough for a troupe!


Hopefully we can get a group action then, like the early SNL years or Monty Python level style of humor. I just hope more people are reading this story.

A vampire fruit bat pony. Poor Richard.

Round the corner
See pony
Their eyes widen
'ha, yess! They are skurred, so skurred!'
"Such a...CUTE!!"
Much petting
Soo omuch
*Pleased horse noises*
"Gonna scratch ear"
scratch ear
*scratch sound*
passed out horse

Mission Failed

He is the boring sun, come to vanquish this terrible night.

Done in by ear scratches. Why do I feel that our vampire lord should quit why he is ahead? Yea this story looks to be a great comedy!

Someone is a fan of Castlevania with a chapter title like this.

Typo count = 0


Orange is certainly a clever pony!

Either that or his victims are a little on the dim and/or inebriated side.

The ease with which Orange is picked up and carried does raise a question though, just how large or small are ponies compared to the average human?

6957026 Greed is a powerful motivator, that can turn off many common sense drives.

Richard, your typo of a curse is only just getting started.

What a horrible night to have a typo curse.

A pack of pony peasants shall provide preposterously problematic prose for Richard.

Why do I feel that all these vamponies are going to be vegan? I loved the face palm that Richard did and why do I feel that he should quit while he is ahead, but fate will keep making his life anything but easy or normal?

Because Richard von Dracula. :trollestia:

slack - slake

he send me - he sent me


Still chuckling along with each chapter.

Soon, Richard will have an army of pony minions to sweep the land and... no fruit orchard anywhere will be safe... but imagine the inflation of fruit and produce prices! The horror... the horror...

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