For Want of a Vampire

by David Silver

9 - The City Never Sleeps

Richard swept his gaze across the alien vista. "Orange Peel, do you recognize what country we've traveled to?"

Orange didn't. He leaned over the edge of the balcony and shouted down to the twin bat ponies below, "Do either of you know where we are?"

Sunset tilted her head up at Orange. "We're still in the castle, master."

Richard raised a brow. "You've wasted no time instilling discipline in them."

Orange nervously chuckled, shuffling in place. "I'll go scout, master. I'm sure I can figure this out."

"Take caution." Richard frowned sharply at his new master of ponies. "I don't much favor the look of this place. It smells already damned in new and foreign ways I cannot entirely fathom."

Orange's wings spread in anticipation. "I won't let you down, master. Just wait here, master." He flashed his sharp fangs. "Maybe I'll find a victim for you."

Richard raised a brow. "That eager to have more ponies under you, servant?"

Orange went a bright red in his cheeks. "I didn't mean that, sir! Oh! Oh! I discovered a, uh, little mistake that may have been contributing to your ailment."

Richard snapped out a hand, grabbing Orange by the neck and hefting him up to the guard rail of the balcony. "You will speak everything you have learned."

Choking for air, Orange squirmed in his grip. "O-of course, Master. You were being... fed improperly." With a sudden flick, Orange was sent flying out into the air. Thankfully, his wings caught and they stopped his wild spinning. Dizzy and confused, he looked around. Richard was already stalking back inside. "I'll finish scouting, sir." Orange frowned a little. For the first time since he was turned, he thought less than perfectly of his master. How dare he be treated so poorly when trying to help!

He heard flapping from both sides. Sunrise and Sunset were at his sides, smiling at him.

"Are you going--"

"--somewhere master?"

"We'll come with you," they spoke in unison, both looking eager.

Orange smiled back at them. At least ponies were happy to see him. "Our mission is to look, see, and maybe raid if we see valuable supplies worth taking. We should avoid being seen, but if we do reveal ourselves, it should be as fearsome monsters, and we should leave nothing but death in our wakes." He grinned maliciously. "Understand?"

Sunrise tilted his head at Orange while Sunset tilted her head the other way. "We'd rather not hurt people," he began.

"Why can't we make friends?" She flashed her fangs. "We can take what we want if they're mean or stupid."

Sunrise pointed a wing at Orange. "Like you did to us. We were stupid and you made us into ponies."

"Vamponies," corrected Sunset, giggling a little. "Way better. Thank you, master."

"Yes, thank you!"

Orange flushed in his cheeks brightly at the combined praise, unsure how to deal with it. He was not used to praise as a human, and being a pony hadn't improved his ability to deal with people, four-legged or two. "Alright, we'll focus on looking for now. We don't know where we are." He folded his ears back. "Or when."

"When?"

"What do you mean when?" asked Sunrise, fluttering closer to Orange. "It's only been a day, hasn't it?"

Sunset bobbed her head, then turned in the air, looking out over the city surrounding them. "It does look strange..."

Orange decided it was time to go, and his wings agreed, carrying him easily over the walls and to the streets of the strange city. Sunrise and Sunset trailed after him, looking around with wide eyes. Sunset pointed at one of the sleek things that rumbled beneath them. "Look, it's like the carriage I always wanted." She grinned. "But all weird and stuff."

A bright flash caught their attentions, fixing their gaze on someone holding out some strange device that flashed at them again, forcing their slit eyes to narrow. They were being attacked!

Orange exposed his sharp teeth in an angry hiss before he dove at the person. The woman shrieked in horror and fell over herself trying to get away from the window she had just had her arm in, falling backwards as he flew through the window and landed on her belly.

The woman flailed wildly, throwing the strange device she had used to attack them across the room and landing on her bed. Sunrise and Sunset emerged from outside and each grabbed an arm, helping hold her down. Orange flashed a bright smile down at his would-be victim. "Why did you think you could attack us and get away with it?"

"What? Attack you? What're you talkin' 'bout? I ain't attackin' nobody nohow, but give me a sec and I'll get started if ya don't get offa me right now!" She struggled, heaving against her pinned arms and torso, but three ponies proved enough to keep her prone. "The 'ell are you?"

Orange leaned forward over the struggling woman, taking in her features. She was dark of flesh. African? Her hair was spherical and densely fluffed up. As humans went, pretty enough, but he wasn't a human anymore. He exposed his fangs at her. "We are vamponies. And you made a big mistake, thinking light could scare us away that easily."

Sunrise sat on her left arm. "Give up all your fruits and vegetables--"

Sunset claimed her right arm. "--and we'll leave you alone."

Orange frowned. "It's not that simple!"

"Take what you want, shoot! It's all inda fridge if ya want it s'bad. I taste bad, promise."

"Ick."

"Ew."

Orange didn't disagree with them, but acting disgusted at the idea wasn't a very vampiric thing to do. "Sunrise, go and claim our spoils. You--" He pointed at the woman. "Tell us where we are."

Sunrise stood up and strode to the fridge, fumbling with it with hooves and wings. "How does this work?"

The lady suddenly grabbed Orange with her freed hand. She was on top of him, squeezing him mercilessly as he squeaked and squirmed. "Think you can just punk me like that? Ah'll show you a thing'r two!"

Author's Note:

This went about as smoothly as anyone could have expected...

Comments

[DualKitsune]

Oh dear....

[Daremo]

Zero typos! Typoes? Typi?
*****
Still fun to read, and now I wonder how this new turn will play out.

Despite the predicament Orange finds himself in I'm suddenly concerned for Lily. I hope she's still in one piece when they return.

[Damaged]

6974070 Some saidisms here. I poked David with them via skype. He, and I, are avid in our fight against speech tagging and saidisms in particular.

[David Silver]

6974174 Some saidisms are okay, just don't let them bury things.

[Daremo]

6974174
6974202

Saidisms? I just looked that up and now I'm perplexed. Why would using the richness of our vocabulary to convey extra meaning, in moderation, be a bad thing?

[Damaged]

6974269 Because they tell rather than show. People who lean too heavily on them avoid describing emotions and thoughts behind the words, they cram what could be paragraphs of prose about someone's demeanor into one word. At least to my thinking.

6974202 Okay, noted. I will still avoid them like the plague. After the recent debacle with a book I purchased I am done, forever, using even such tags as 'said'. Especially said.

[Daremo]

6974329
Ah, I can see your point now. I'm going to have to keep that in mind as I go back over my own attempts at writing, and see if it improves.

[Lab]

6974174 That's as noble a cause as any.

[No one is home]

So saidisms? I looked it up. This is a thing that can be a problem? Using too many words for "said"? Cause I always liked using different words. It gets boring saying "said" all the time. And the you still gotta say how they said it. I get your point I'm just sayin'. I don't get this concept of "saidism". Tryin' to.

[Damaged]

6974740 The solution is, don't use tags at all. describe who is talking in the actions of those present. At least to get an established order of conversation going. Show how they are talking, why they are talking, don't tell people that they are talking :)

The best example of how bad 'said' can become as a tag?

http://www.tor.com/2014/05/21/lock-in-john-scalzi-excerpt-chapter-1/

Just read this first chapter. I can promise, said IS the most common word in the book, it doesn't improve.

[Bluenova]

Richard is going to turn Orange into his own Starscream at this rate.