• Published 17th Feb 2016
  • 2,422 Views, 227 Comments

I'm Not A Tribalist - TheGreatEater

Princess Celestia sees a news article that brings about a choice that will change her life forever.

  • ...

Shaping Up ...

I knew what I needed to do, but it was hard to make that first step. Everypony knew us princesses were Goddesses, but very few knew what that meant. True we were immortal, but that doesn’t mean we’re invulnerable both to emotional wounds, nor physically. Albeit we are much more durable than mere mortals, take Twilight learning to fly for instance. The craters and ditches she left took weeks to fix up, yet no damage to her was sustained.

We had ways of seeing things far beyond mortal comprehension. For instance I use the Aetheric Plane to scry upon the lives and actions of others. It has allowed me to make judgement calls as fair as possible while ensuring the innocent didn’t suffer. My sister has her ability to see the memories and past of all dreamers should she deem it necessary to do so. Cadance and Twilight are too young at the moment to utilize those gifts, although Twilight’s table has the Elements send her on missions to fulfil their end goals. For whatever goals those may be … again, I need Twilight to find away to summon them … they’ve been just as helpful in their manipulations as they’ve been hurtful.

Anyways, while we see much. We aren’t omniscient without our tools, or without knowing what we are looking for. As such we can be taken unawares.

Most taxing though, is while we have power that is greatly superior to normal ponies. The weakest of us, darling little Caddy, has the power of 9 Clovers. Twilight had 1.3 Swirls when she was a unicorn, and my sister and I hold the power of 2.5 Swirls. At least I did in my last physical a few hundred years ago, and my sister was evenly matched with me in terms of magical strength. So she should be about that much … if it wasn’t for the fact that I don’t want to deal with diets, I would take my sister and I to get a much needed physical.

Nonetheless, while powerful. We aren’t perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist, if it did, there would be no room to grow. As corporeal, magical beings. We had feelings, needs, and desires. The major weakness to that is we made mistakes, and admitting we made them is incredibly hard to do.

So it was that I spent an hour staring at a strip of parchment that I needed to use to write my first of two letters. The first was the worst, since it would mean that I had to overturn a thousand years of tradition, and make amends to the futures I stole … if any were still alive. The second was something of a tickle of fancy to do something that would do much good for a few ponies.

I needed to get my Autobiography written. It would do much good to shatter my pedestal I was perched on, and hopefully, if I was lucky. Would let the two ponies I needed to let know how I felt about them know without a doubt how much they meant. Also I could do something for Twilight’s family, for all that they have given to Equestria.

*Sigh*, I think that’s going to become a problem later. Sighing so much, that is. After all my Cutie Mark was for the service and happiness of Equestria. Yet it seems that I’ve only been truly helping one third of the species as much as I should have. *Sigh*.

Dear Dean of CSFGU,

I hope you didn’t try to destroy records of non unicorn applicants after this most recent news article. I would be greatly interested myself in seeing how many non unicorns attempted to enter my school.

- HRH Princess Celestia

Philomena was an amazingly useful Pheonix, constantly regenerating feathers, faster than dragon mail, and cheaper too. I really hope the school didn’t try destroying those records. It would send all the wrong messages. I started on the second letter to Twilight Velvet, when the response arrived That was quicker than I expected. But why didn’t they send the records, I’m sure I gave them enough feathers of Philomena to send me a decent amount. Unless I’m lucky and … no. No trying to wiggle out of this.

Your Majesty,

While we didn’t destroy the records when the article came out. We do have a tradition of dumping them in the trash when we get them. After all it was yourself who said that this was a school for unicorns. So we never really saw the point in saving files for ponies that weren’t our race, after all it’s not like we could save them to see if they could retry later. Since they would have no reason to try again.

Although you’ll be glad to know that we tell them in no uncertain words that, as I’m sure you remember telling our founding members. ‘While a Cutie Mark is magical, and has a deep meaning to an individual. It doesn’t make the pony magical.’ and we let them know that, ‘only unicorns can cast spells. A non-unicorn just wouldn’t make it in our school.’ Although we no longer send a spell to carry our laughs at them. We make sure that we are civil enough to do it behind their backs.

So you won’t need to worry about those journalist finding anything. For there’s nothing to find.


Dean Wizen Berry III

I headdesked for real this time. Not just shattering tile, but obliterating a desk. I really like that desk too. I let loose a scream backed by the primal force of the Royal Canterlot Voice, while tossing the broken desk out the window.

I could hear the guards trying to break the door down to get inside. Casting a quick illusion spell to look my best, I undid the locks so the poor guards wouldn’t break themselves trying to ‘save me’.

“Princess! We heard screaming, are you … “ Random Guard number one said, until he saw the shattered window.

The first rule in misdirection is to take advantage of somepony when they are off guard, “Oh I’m fine my little pony. I just saw a rat.”

“A rat?”

I fluffed my wings, “Yes, it was a big one. But it’s gone now.”

“I - A- Are you positive?”

I let loose a restoration spell returning the window to its former glory, “yes.”

“Well alight princess. I-we will just be outside. Just incase more rats show up,” he replied uncertainly. At least I think it was a he. Those concealment charms made to make them all look the same made it hard to tell sometimes.

“Thank you, I’m very proud to have such brave guards watch over me.” I reply in the most sincere tone I can give. After all it would be horrible for those doing their patriotic duty to feel as if I didn’t have use for them, or if I was insincere towards their sentiments.

I teleported the desk after resealing the locks. With a flick of my horn the desk was fixed, and another it was magically reinforced … hopefully well enough to avoid shattering. Making sure everything was in order, I tried headdesking with less destructive force this time. *Sigh*, it was Bright Pen who said that “Only two things are infinite. The universe and mortals stupidity, and I’m not so sure of the former.”

I don’t know what was worse. That my school had an old tradition to send the a scroll big enough to store a spell just to laugh at some unfortunate pony. Or that my own words, spoken many centuries ago were taken out of context and used to hurt my little ponies. Quite possibly the worst was that they tossed the applications out and laughed behind their backs and called that being civil … I think all my employees there need to take a few new ethics classes after I fix this mess.

After all I have, I looked at the grandfather clock Luna invented for one of our Hearth’s Warming Gifts in our old castle, two hours scheduled to be at parliament. More than enough time to try and fix this mess.

I let loose another sigh at the mountain of additional work that I would need to do. I point at a random stone at the wall, loosen it, and without looking in there I cast a dimensional pocket spell. The point of it was to ensure that I would be uncontaminated by what I was about to do to ensure a stable time loop. While the Star Swirl wing did have a one use time spell. There were a few others, but like me and Luna learned the hard way. Changing time isn’t easy, and it’s much simpler to simply alter events that have no impact on your past, but could be used to help your future. Although it would still need to be done carefully.

Even then, there were some events that one simply couldn’t change. Such as when Luna and I cast Star Swirl’s unfinished spell a few days before Luna fell. I still don’t know what it did, and honestly I’ve been scared to hear what Twilight would say. All that mattered is the finished product allowed a pony to affect their destiny, and Twilight’s destiny I had shaped for over a decade came to be. I just hope the Elements found away to give the other bearer’s the immortality they deserved as well. Since I couldn’t simply ascend them myself, although I hope they don’t look to deeply into the explanation I gave Twilight of creating new magic.

Going to the Aetheric plane is something that is disorientating, no matter how much practice I got, but I knew that since Luna was waiting for me to give me a shoulder to lean on. She’d be here in 3, 2, 1.

“Sister!” Luna’s voice echoed around me, before her body formed. Seeing her flail about before falling flat on her muzzle was chuckle worthy. She always had problems forming here, and it was adorable seeing her entry.

“Hello Lulu,” I said giving her a loving nuzzle while giving her a wing up.

“So are you done brooding?” Luna asked returning the nuzzle.

“I wasn’t brooding, I was looking at my past. Seeing myself through an unbiased lens.” I replied, “and I saw things which I was rather displeased by.”

“So you came to stalk somepony?”

“No sister. You remember how we used this place to manipulate small events?”

“Oh yes! Like how you stole cake that one time?”

*Sigh* “It wasn’t theft. That unicorn queen told the ponies that they should eat cake, so I thought it would be funny.”

“Then we learned that she meant a different kind of cake,” Luna giggled.

“Yes. Still I didn’t like her, she said I was fat and that you looked like you like bathing with … that one word.” Even if ponies thought I was a tribalist, and I was an accidental one didn’t mean I said certain words. I’m not as uncivilized as a mule … which now that I think about it the world had a million sayings about mules. From “Too mule for school”, to “stubborn as a mule”.

Is that speciesist? I don’t think so, it’s not like mules are ponies. “Lulu? Is thinking derogatory things about Mules speciesist?”

“I don’t think so, even when we were foals those sayings were popular. But at least ponies now apologize for saying them.”

“Yes. Apologize.” How long did it take before ponies apologized for all the sayings about them? I haven't the slightest.

“Sister, are you worried about the article?”

“It’s true. Not quite as malicious as they made it appear, although from what my school has told me it does seem that a bit of maliciousness does exist for those that represent myself.”

“How so?”

“Well we’re about to find out. After this we’ll need to get ready for our little get together.”

Luna looked at me questioningly.

Author's Note:

Now with the physical goddess trope. People in the modern age think of deities as perfect and infallible. Yet ancient mythology and texts have deities that lived among mortals as capable of being petty, vengeful, feeling desires / emotions, even in rare cases being killed by a rather odd specific weakness / end times.

So I'm playing with that a bit. Deities [the Physical God trope that the alicorns have in their tropes page.]

Clover = Level of power equal to normal unicorn.

Swirl = 10 Clovers. [the amount of ponies needed to move a celestial body, or the power level of Starswirl the Bearded.]

Twilight's mother being a writer Story Trope is cannon for this story.

Starting today. I'll be updating this once a week. On Mondays. So I can build a good buffer.

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!