Nightmare has been defeated and wanders the Verses for a new host but instead finds her lost elder sister Tempest Flare the most powerful of the Three Royal Pony sisters and the middle filly in the birth order. As she finds out more about me and my soul I find out I can hop dimensions through my dreams and that I control Destiny itself in all Verses. When we return to my home Verse I find we both have to go to Equis to help Luna and Tia defeat a threat that once was thought long dead. I'm going to need all my newfound power to make sure that this thing never returns.
Chapters (2)
new alicorn that seems massively overpowered and is said to be stronger than any other? check
obvious self insert? check
4th wall breaking? check
swapping between present tense and past tense? check
extremely long run on sentences with essentially no commas? check
also the prologue contains a chapter...?
6948321 i made her strongest of the three because she control's Destiny itself and can call upon the full power of the elements of harmony at any time or use a single element's full potential to boost her own power. Because of the Dragonoid power she is stronger faster and has better control and senses than her sisters. Think on par with Twilight when she had all the alicorn magic that's how powerful Tempè is. At this point though she can't access and control said power only 20% of it at most. So unlike Lulu or Tia she can't really say that she is a goddess in her own right.
I had accidentally kept writing so I couldn't fix it but will fix soon the chapter thing is more of a short time skip than a new chapter.
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img03.deviantart.net/81a1/i/2012/142/8/4/mary_sue_ponys__by_puppygirlcanfly-d50r2ow.png
Pretty similar. Nailed the best at everything and princess thing.
Listen. 6948321 pointed out that your character is too overpowered. You then replied by explaining that your character is MORE overpowered than he thought.
Just sayin.
6968196 yes she is OP but it makes sense because like Twi she can't control the full amount power she has so she only uses her base set and the dimension hops are for her to learn how to access the full extent of her power and control it as well it may seem OP but think of it this was she is only able to connect to 20% of her massive reserves at this point. So while she may seem OP on earth she is weaker than cadance at this point.
Hell the Ursa minor weighed aleast 50 tons and Twilight lifted it as a unicorn a very powerful unicorn but still a unicorn nonetheless. So Tempè can't even match unicorn Twilight. Yeah she is OP but only when she channels the elements of harmony and pulls on Moonie as well.
The only thing I can say is I definitely want more
this is actually cool
Spelling mistakes in the title, grammar mistakes in the description and story.
I truly enjoy the idea, and well everything that this story has! I hope you don't kill it any time soon!
8025829 I've been stuck on this chapter it's not dead in any way it's just i need to break through the writers block that's barring me from writing this one as well as some of my others
8026284 That's alright, I just wanted to make sure that you do not kill it, and to know that many still like the story too!
8026284
have you made a break though yet?
8412693 in truth I plan on rewriting the whole thing and will be back with a better quality of writing.
Trunks is a DUDE!!! And HOW is he SSJ3?!
Edit: Nevermind. You already explained his new transformation. But still, why change his gender?
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Alternate timeline alternate possibilities I figured it'd be funny if "princess trunks" was actually a thing
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You know Goku is actually of a same Royal rank as Vegeta considering he is the Ox Prince (a lot of people forget that Chi-Chi is actually the Ox Princess) Vegeta has not claimed the throne of planet Vegeta because there is no throne to claim meaning he cannot succeed the king in this case, this means that Goku and Vegeta are both Princes
Will this continue?
Wonder what happens to Spike since he's a dragon too?
In fact is Destiny why he keeps getting left out hard from the Mane 6's bond since he's not an Element Bearer?
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Yes destiny is the reason but not because of the fact that he isn't an element bearer she is destined to become the dragon lord an important figurehead of the dragons themselves
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There's still the issue of being left out from the Mane 6's stuff/adventures so much though and being in their shadows so much.
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Three words: agent of smile
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Agent of smile?
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the canonical monster-hunting agency that Bon Bon is a part of
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So how is Spike in that match up to the "chosen ones" Element Bearers?
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Barb is equal
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Like also against foes that only "chosen ones" can beat?
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eyup
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Ok
So what happens now?