The Zone of Friendship
If I was going to start helping ponies find their special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day, I knew exactly where I wanted to start. With my best friend, Shining Armor. Shiny and I had met while I was foalsitting for Twilight, and ever since then we’d been like two peas in a pod. I couldn’t think of somepony I’d love to share my Hearts and Hooves Day with more than him.
Shiny’s schedule was pretty consistent, on account of being in the Junior Reserve Cadet Training Program. In a couple years he would be going to West Hoof, and from there on to being an officer in the Royal Guard. He always said he wanted to be in charge of my bodyguards once he finished at West Hoof, so we could spend all day together. He was such a nice guy.
I found him on the training field where he was just finishing up with all the usual exercises they put junior cadets through. I’d joined in on that once, just to see what it was like. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but I wound up doing a lot better than I’d expected. Apparently being an alicorn comes with a few ... well Shiny had called them ‘unfair advantages.’ I suppose having the speed of a pegasus and the stamina of an earth pony did give me a bit of an edge over him.
I really hadn’t planned to lap him on the jogging track. It had just sort of ... happened.
I wanted today to start out on a much better note, so I was waiting for him at the end of the obstacle course with a nice, cold bottle of water. By the time he arrived sweat was pouring down his face, which made him seem surprisingly rugged and masculine. It was a nice look for him. He grinned when he saw me, though his eyes focused on the water bottle rather quickly. “Hey, Cadey, fancy meeting you here. Is that for me?”
“Hey yourself, Shiny. And it sure is.” I passed the bottle over, and he wasted no time guzzling it down.
The bottle was more than half-empty before he stopped drinking for long enough to answer me. “Thanks, Cadey. You’re the best.” He tipped the bottle back and drained it dry, wiping his sweat-clumped forelock out of his eyes. “What brings you around?”
I grinned and teasingly poked him in his very muscular chest. “What, can’t I just be stopping by to talk to my best friend? Now I have to have a reason to talk to you?”
“Of course you can,” he answered still breathing a little heavily from his run. “It's just y’know, I was wondering if there was any special reason you were here. To see me. Today. On Hearts and Hooves Day.”
I threw up my hooves in mock surrender. “Alright, you caught me, I do have a bit of a hidden agenda.” I grinned and leaned in close, whispering conspiratorially. “You might say I have some plans for Hearts and Hooves Day. I hope your schedule’s free.”
“Well, Friday night is usually when my Mazes and Magi group plays—” He paused, blinked, then shook his head. “I mean, yeah! Of course I’m free! What do you wanna do?”
I was a little surprised he was willing to pass up his weekly Mazes and Magi game; he always loved that. He’d tried to get me to play a couple times, and it did look like it might be fun, but with all my royal duties I just didn’t have time for it. Still, it was his choice if he wanted to play or not. “Well if you’re free, I guess it won’t be a problem if I steal you away. And if the cadet trainers have a problem with that, then too bad. I’m a princess.” I teasingly stuck out my tongue.
Shiny chuckled and nodded. “I don’t think anypony’s going to make a fuss.”
“Great!” I was so excited my wings fluttered of their own accord. “Is there anything you need to take care of before we go?”
Shining thought it over for a moment, then lifted one of his forelegs and sniffed himself. Judging by the way he recoiled and the pained expression on his face, he didn’t like what he’d found. “I think maybe I oughta grab a quick shower before we go ... anywhere that would put you downwind of me.” He grinned sheepishly, blushing. “Sorry. Y’know, exercise and stuff.”
If his own odor was enough to bother him that much, I certainly didn’t want any part of it. “Sure thing. Just don't take too long; it's not nice to make a lady wait, and that goes double for royalty.” I gave him a teasing poke in the side with one of my wings. “You don’t want another lecture from your mother, do you?”
Shiny rolled his eyes. “Like I told Mom, I didn’t mean to hit you in the face with that snowball. I was aiming for Twilight because she’d been pegging me all day whenever I turned my back on her.” Little did Shining know that I’d been helping her the whole time. It was part of my foalsitter duties. Honest. “Anyway, point taken. I won’t keep you waiting, Cadey. Promise.”
He trotted off to the locker room, and I made sure to stay upwind of him until he got there. I trotted over to some nearby bleachers and found somewhere reasonably comfortable to have a seat. For lack of any other way to distract myself, I made small talk with my bodyguards. “I bet this brings up some old memories.”
Sergeant Plum scoffed. “No, Your Highness. My parents were working ponies. They didn't have money to send me to some fancy-smancy military academy so that I could be a cute little junior cadet pretending to be a real soldier.”
Guardsmare Shields rolled her eyes. “Don’t be that hard on them, sarge. I’m sure you were a kid once, back before Celestia and Luna were born and the three tribes wandered the land, trying to find their future home.” She grinned, and the sergeant growled something under his breath that he definitely shouldn’t be saying in front of a princess. Shields turned back to me. “For what it’s worth, seeing a bunch of young ponies getting put through their paces does remind me of basic training. That was fun.”
The sergeant snorted. “As if this were anything close to basic. They get to go home to their mommy and daddy at the end of every day, and bed down with feather pillows and silk sheets, then sleep as late as they want. Put these brats through the grind and I bet half of them would quit by the end of the first night.”
I frowned and shook my head. “Not Shining. He’s strong.”
The sergeant frowned, but wasn’t about to argue with me. Instead he just shrugged. “If you say so, Your Highness. You know your friend better than I do.”
“Yes, I do.” That exchange killed my interest in any more small talk, so we all just waited silently for Shining to finish up. A couple of the cadets who hadn’t finished up their own exercises trotted by, and I couldn’t help but grin to myself when they spotted me, and immediately tried to pick up their pace and puff out their chests. I couldn’t help but wonder if that reaction was on account of me being a princess, or just a pretty mare. Probably a bit of both.
Before I could distract or motivate any of the other cadets, Shining returned. His mane was still a bit damp from the shower, but had been quite neatly brushed out, and he was dressed up in a very snappy junior cadet uniform. He grinned and waved, trotting over. “Hey, Cadey. I think I’m clean enough to ... y’know, be seen with you. And stuff.” As he trotted a bit closer, I caught a whiff of some cologne I vaguely recognized as his father’s.
I gave him a thorough examination, and I liked what I saw. “Well somepony’s going all out. Not that I’m complaining: I bet it'll be easy to find you a date with you looking this good.”
Shiny blinked, a slight frown flicking across his face. “Er ... yeah?”
The wheels started spinning in my head as I tried to think of who exactly I should set him up with. Considering how handsome he looked right now, I shouldn’t have a hard time; any single mare would jump at a chance to spend time with him. “Well, first things first. If I’m helping you get a date for Hearts and Hooves Day, is there anypony you have your eye on?” I waved towards the training field, which had no shortage of athletic young mares hard at work. “Maybe another cadet? There aren’t rules against that, are there?”
Shiny didn’t say anything, his mouth hanging halfway open. I glanced back, wondering what the problem was, and he finally seemed to recover his wits. “Um, excuse me? I thought, er...” He ran a hoof through his mane, his gaze dropping to the ground. “I ... well ... I think we might have had a miscommunication. I thought we were gonna ... um...”
“Oh!” I tapped my own forehead, feeling quite silly. “Of course! I didn’t explain what I was planning. Sorry, I guess I was just really excited to find you a date for tonight, and I got ahead of myself. But yes, that’s what we’re going to do. It’s Hearts and Hooves Day, and you’re my best friend. As Princess of Love, it’s practically my royal duty to help you find your special somepony.” I paused, hesitating for a moment. “I hope I'm not being too pushy.”
“No no, it’s fine.” Shiny coughed, looking to the side. “It’s just that ... well, I was thinking...” He cleared his throat. “That is, when you ... well I thought...” His cheeks flushed, and he scuffed a hoof along the ground. “Actually, it’s ... well ... something I've been meaning to ask...”
I cocked my head to the side, trying to figure out what he was trying to say. It was a bit hard to make out with how much he was mumbling. “What is it, Shiny?”
“It’s...” He looked up and met my eyes for a long moment, his mouth hanging halfway open. Then his head dropped, and he murmured. “N-never mind. S’not important.” He sighed, and his shoulders slumped. “I was just gonna ... um ... h-how about we go .... hang out!”
My ears drooped a bit. Why didn’t he want me to help him? Did he not trust me to help him find a good date? “Oh ... well ... sorry. I guess if you don’t want to—”
“No!” He blurted out, his eyes wide. “That’s not what I—you're great, Cadey! Everypony knows that. That's why I wanna ... go out—to hang out—with you. Since you’re a pony that's my friend but ... you know, as friendly friends.”
My shoulders slumped down. “Well, alright then. If that’s what you want...” I sighed, my own gaze dropping to the ground. “But I was really looking forward to helping you find your special somepony for Hearts and Hooves Day...”
He grimaced, hesitantly reaching towards me but not quite putting a hoof on my shoulder. “Hey, c’mon, Cadey. Perk up. Don’t get all mopey on me. I just want you to be happy. With me, and in general, but also with me. I know you wanna help me out, because you’re great. The greatest filly I know.”
I answered him with a wan smile. “Thanks, Shiny. You’re a great friend and a really sweet guy.” I stood up and stretched my wings. “I guess I better go do ... um ... princess things. Have fun with your Mazes and Magi game.”
Shiny bolted up from his own seat, galloping in front of me. “Wait, no!” He planted his hooves and took a deep breath. “We ... we can do whatever you wanna do, Cadey.”
My ears perked up hopefully, and a small grin returned to my face. “So ... you want me to find you a date?”
His face looked like he’d swallowed something very unpleasant. “Yeah. Something like that.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of his odd behavior, so all I could do was hope he would get over whatever was bothering him once I found a nice mare. I put on my best smile in the hopes that it would help lift him out of the funk he seemed to be in. “Alright then! Let’s find you a date.” I looked out over the parade ground, and settled on a surprisingly svelte unicorn mare. “What about her? She seems nice.”
Shining barely even looked at the mare before shaking her head. “Um, maybe I'm looking for somepony not going to my school. You know, fraternization being an issue.” He flushed and ran a hoof along the back of his neck. “I mean, it’s not technically against the rules for junior cadets, but it kinda makes things ... complicated.”
“Hmm.” I wasn’t about to give up after one failure, so I tapped my chin and thought over my options. “Alright then. Maybe somepony from the nobility? I’m reasonably well acquainted with most of them thanks to Aunt Celestia.”
Shining nodded along. “Yeah, that could work.” He hesitated, rubbing one of his forelegs. “Y’know, somepony really high up in the nobility, near the top of the ranks.”
Huh. That was a bit unexpected. Shiny had never struck me as the type to care too much about rank. Maybe his parents had been pushing him to think about how his romantic prospects would affect his family’s status? The Sparkles were certainly prominent enough that there was an element of politics to his marriage prospects. “Okay then, high-ranking nobility. Duchess Fairleaf's daughter is close to your age. Lord Electrum’s twins too, though they’re a bit...” I struggled to think of the most diplomatic way to put it. “Full-figured. House Cumulus has a few nice mares your age, but they’re not quite upper nobility anymore. Then there’s the Kicker heiress, but ... well, the age gap between you two might be a bit too wide for now.” A five year difference wouldn’t be a big deal once we got a bit older, but...
Shiny shook his head. “It’s, um ... well.” He groaned and slumped back onto the bleachers. “I don’t want to ... I like, erm...” He looked back up at me. “What I want to say is...” His mouth hung open, and no words came out.
Once the silence stretched for long enough to become awkward, I gave him a gentle little nudge. “Yes? What is it?”
Shining took a deep breath. “The thing is, I want to be with somepony I know. I don’t wanna go out with somepony I’ve barely even met. Y’know, it should be with somepony I’ve known for a while now. Who I know really well. Like a friend.”
“Hmm.” Well that certainly complicated things. So Shiny wanted a member of the nobility, and somepony he was good friends with... “Well, I don't know any mares like that. Aside from me, all your friends are stallio...”
My eyes popped wide open as I realized what he was getting at. “Oh! You're ... oh. I never realized ... oh.” Everything about how oddly he’d been acting suddenly made so much more sense. I couldn’t believe I’d missed all the obvious clues. He was my best friend, and I was the Princess of Love. I really should’ve noticed sooner. “Well, no wonder you were acting so ... oh.”
Shiny smiled hopefully. “Yeah? So ... um ... do you ... that is...”
I smiled and put a wing over his shoulders, leaning in a bit closer to make sure we had some privacy. “Shiny! Why didn't you tell me sooner? Oh, I feel so silly now with all that talk about fixing you up with a nice mare...”
I quickly scanned the training field, then pointed out a couple strapping young stallions. “So ... which of them is more your type?”
Shining blinked, and his jaw dropped. “What? I ... uh ... what?!”
I gave him a reassuring little squeeze with my wing. “That's what you were trying to tell me, right? That you like stallions?” After all, he’d said he wanted to hook up with a good friend of his, and aside from me, all his friends were stallions, so...
“What?!” His jaw opened and closed several times, but no comprehensible words came out. “No, nooo, nonono, that's not what I'm saying at all! What I was trying to say was that ... um...” He trailed off, his cheeks positively flaming.
I tightened that reassuring wing over his shoulders, letting my friend know I was there for him. “You don't have to be embarrassed, Shining. I'm the Princess of Love. All love. I know it can be rather frightening to confront and accept your own sexuality, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with preferring stallions. I will be here to support you every step of the way.”
Shining pulled out from under my wing, his face red as a beet. “I-I-I have something I just forgot! Big assignment! Get all the demerits if I don't turn it in on time! Sorry, gottagonow! Bye! We’ll, uh ... bye!” He galloped away so fast you would think a pack of timberwolves were on his heels.
I stared after my friend as he practically fled from me. I cast a concerned look back at my bodyguards. “Did I overwhelm him? I was just trying to be supportive.”
The sergeant, much to my surprise, was actually grinning. “I think you did, Your Highness. You're just too much for the young stallion.”
I sighed, my shoulders slumping in guilt. “I'll have to make it up to him later. Tomorrow, once he’s had a bit to settle down. I should’ve realized how fragile he would feel after opening up to me about something that big...”
Sergeant Plum snorted. “Assuming he can pony up. He won't last five minutes in the Long Patrol if he can't do better than that. Monsters are a lot meaner than princesses. Lot scarier too.”
I scowled at the sergeant, making no effort to hide my displeasure with him. “I’d suggest you watch your words, sergeant. Shiny's my friend.”
He nodded, his face stoically blank once more. “So I noticed, Your Highness.”
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Ohhh goodness. She completely has no idea.
...
The awkward.
The awkward is strong here.
Nope.... Shining Armor isn't related at all to Sparkler in the Winningverse. Couldn't possibly happen ever.
I'm going to bludgeon Cadence with something heavy. . . and made of metal.
Wow, friend-zoned so hard he's lucky he didn't go blind, and then mistaken for gay. I feel much better about my own love life now.
Love is blind. Princesses of Love, more so.
6937733
Been there, done that, although I don't think it was quite as awkward as this when I found out.
Aaaahh. It's so refreshing to see a fic where she's the oblivious one for once.
Not that we don't all love our adorkable friend Oblivious Shining Armor.
Whelp. Gotta make the story somehow (by making heartbutt really dense), even if it's so ultra obvious from the very first reaction of his
I'm reading along and start thinking "Her guards are probably rolling their eyes enough to roll them right out of their heads. Be funny if Plum said something, despite him not ruining the fun."
I was not disappointed.
This was both painful and hilarious to read
6936317 I don't see it ... (I kid, I kid
) Makes you wonder about how bad the teenage awkward is going to be for Dinky ...
Meanwhile Plum is gnashing his teeth and trying his damnedest not to cuff Cadence and Shining both.
I thought it was the guy that was supposed to be oblivious, not the girl.
oh god now my inner sappy sentimental bits want that to me me and the NEVERMINDSomepony please revoke her Princess of Love licence!
Pretty sure I hear Barbossa in the background somewhere yelling "Just Kiss!".
I found Cadence thinking Shining is gay way more hilarious than I probably should have, in between feeling bad for him. It's now in my head canon.
7169373 Hint to the movie Absolutely Everything, where the girl thinks the main character is gay.
Oh my god, Cadance. Just, oh my god.
Goddammit, Cadance
Yeah, aside from YOU.
Aside from ME again. That's twice princess.
At least somepony gets it!
It’s kinda hilarious, seeing Cadance as the oblivious one. Really hope I get to see her realize the obvious, and kicking herself.
Meanwhile, Aphrodite is looking in from another world and thinking how glad she is to have never gone through being a teenager.