The Duke Abides

by GrassAndClouds2

The Duke of Hazards

“What are you going to do?”

Greengrass had tended to Notary as best he could. He’d shoved Lightning’s form into a nearby storage closet. And now he was getting a few things from Fisher’s office and putting them into a saddlebag.

“We have about ten minutes before the party starts. The attack will probably happen that. I have to stop it, or all of this was for nothing.”

“How?”

“I’ll think of something.” Greengrass shrugged. “I have the advantage on him. He really is a terrible loser, and he’s not good when he’s off plan – and right now, he’s far off plan. What’s he got that I don’t?”

“A paramilitary force providing event security… a ticket allowing him inside the event itself… the favor and trust of everypony in there…”

“You know, Notary, sometimes you’re a very depressing pony to talk to.”

Notary smiled weakly.

“Alright. I’m ready to go.” Greengrass hefted the saddlebag onto his back.

“What can I do?”

“Stay here and heal…” Greengrass trailed off. Notary, he knew, would not want to be treated like a helpless foal. “Actually, no. Fisher has false evidence implicating us in the group.”

“The list I gave him of group members, and probably some forgeries as well.”

“You know his filing system. Find them and destroy them. Or,” Greengrass smiled and gave Notary an additional instruction. “How does that sound?”

“I can do that.”

“Good. I’ll be back in… oh, half an hour. You’ll know if I succeeded because I won’t be in chains.”

Notary grinned. “Bury him, sir.”

“Trust me, if I pull this off, he’ll never forget it.” Greengrass smiled. “And afterwards – I think we both need a vacation. Or you, at least; I might need to remain here to obtain a seat in the Court, but—“

“Sir, if you think I’m letting you out on your own after the past two weeks, you’re crazier than Fisher is.”

Greengrass laughed. “Fair enough. Alright, Notary. Time to go.”

###

The party for Cadenza was being held in one of the most ornate ballrooms of the castle. It wasn’t the Grand Ballroom, of course, as there wouldn’t have been enough guests to fill it, and ponies tended not to have as much fun in cavernous, half-empty rooms. But it was the Prance Ballroom, a smaller room on the eastern side of the castle, which was just as ornate and elegant, though only half as large.

Greengrass arrived at the tail end of the rush, and almost ran into Archduke Fisher. He hid behind a column in the entrance hallway (which itself was ridiculously ornate) and eavesdropped.

Fisher was talking to a motley crew of Royal Guards, Unicorn Special Forces, and a few Night Guards. “…I fear he’s going to try and crash this event. Princess Cadence does not need to be disturbed by some corrupt and depraved fool like Greengrass. If you see him, detain him.”

“Is he a danger?” asked one of the Night Guards, brusque and to-the-point like most of them. “We can suspend the event until—“

“No!” Fisher blinked. “I mean, he’s not a danger like that. But he’ll probably try some stunt, and even if he doesn’t, he’s not invited. Just – just keep an eye out, will you?”

The USF saluted, which made Greengrass roll his eyes. Hmm. I wonder why everypony thinks they still work for him?

Greengrass faded back a little, taking shelter in a storage room to one side of the hallway. Okay. So Fisher’s being cautious, either that or he somehow learned I escaped. So now not only do I not have a ticket, the Guards are all watching for me. The Royal Guards and Night Guards will probably just throw me out, but the USF are liable to knock me unconscious if they can get me alone. I either need to sneak in and prevent Fisher from signaling the CCPS, without any of them seeing me, or I need to find a legitimate way in. Who’s running this thing anyway?

It wasn’t Luna Herself, or Her staff. Parties like these were undertaken by the nobility, as efforts to show off their personal wealth and to curry favor with the Court. Greengrass had hosted the one for Cadenza last year, Fisher had done one for Luna several months ago, Nobility, Blueblood… who had it this time?

He didn’t know. He’d been disconnected from Courtly events for long enough that this one had slipped by him.

Cursing his lack or preparation, Greengrass casually walked across the hallway, hiding behind the straggling visitors and peering into the ballroom. There were a lot of wall-hangings, ornaments, and knickknacks in there. Too many, actually. The room was awash in silver and platinum treasures, some of them seeming ancient. Who has all those things? And who’s the sort of pony to fill a room with everything she has instead of just choosing a few items that work together… oh.

Vicerine Puissance.

And, at last, luck was with him – she was always a few moments late to any event she attended. That way, the other ponies could watch her enter.

The clock struck 4. Greengrass left the entrance hallway, entering the larger hall that fed in to it. Ah – there. Vicereine Puissance’s palanquin, surrounded by her assistants and servants (and a few Night Guard bodyguards) and born on the backs of four pegasus-unicorn hybrid ponies, all decked out in the fanciest outfits of the past millennium.

Greengrass hastily stepped in front of the carriage. “Puissance! I want to talk to you!”

“Hey!” One of the Night Guards jumped between Greengrass and Puissance’s palanquin. “Out of the way!”

“I need to talk to the Vicerine. It is very important.” Greengrass paused, then decided that he’d humiliated himself enough in the past few days that a little more couldn’t hurt. He bowed down, then prostrated himself before the ponies. “I would be most grateful.”

Puissance laughed from within the palanquin. “Alright, alright. But honestly, Greengrass, you should bow more often. It looks good on you.”

Greengrass resisted the urge to insult her. “Vicerine, you’re in charge of the party. Can you let me in?”

“I can invite whoever I please. But… why would I?” Puissance laughed again. “Your good looks and charm aren’t enough, I’m afraid.”

“Ah, but Vicerine, I can give you something that you want in exchange.”

There was silence for a moment. Then: “Bearers – lower me.” The pegacorns bent, allowing Puissance to step out of the palanquin. “Greengrass, rise.”

Greengrass got up. Puissance was wearing regalia of the sort that Luna had worn centuries ago; a fine black dress with thousands of tiny diamonds and pearls that sparkled like the stars and were scattered in the forms of Luna’s favorite constellations. It would cost tens of thousands of bits to manufacturer, could never be bought for any sane price, and had not been produced in centuries. Puissance, Greengrass recalled, had three similar dresses.

“What could you possibly give a mare who has everything?”

Greengrass smiled brightly. “I’ll give you this – if I get into that room, there is a staggeringly high possibility that I will be thrown out, possibly violently, maybe stripped of my title and fiefdom, and perhaps even sent to prison forever!”

“Tempting.” Puissance smiled; it was pure malevolence. “And you want this why?”

“Because, should I succeed, then there is a high probability that Archduke Fisher will be thrown out, possibly violently, maybe stripped of his title and fiefdom, and perhaps even sent to prison forever. So you see, you can’t lose!”

“Hmm.” Puissance paced for a few moments. “You know, Greengrass…”

“Yes?”

Puissance smiled again. “You always know just what a mare wants.”

###

Greengrass had nothing to wear, but that was fine; Puissance seemed happy with the idea of the Duke humiliating himself in front of all and sundry. She let him walk in front of her. “You can be my trumpeter,” she decreed.

“Your what?”

“Can you play the trumpet?”

“…no?”

Puissance sighed. “It doesn’t matter. This one plays itself.” One of her servants brought out a small box and gave it to Greengrass. It was a large trumpet, studded with emeralds and all sorts of other jewels, and gilded in gold. “It was a gift from a dear griffin friend of mine.”

“I didn’t know that griffins played the trumpet.”

“Well, when you move in the circles I do, you pick up a few things.”

Greengrass smiled at the Guards as they approached the door. Two Royal Guards, with a USF lurking behind them, moved to intercept him. “You’re not invited,” said one Royal Guard.

“He is now.” Puissance said, from within her palanquin. “He’s with me.”

Greengrass waved cheekily.

The two Guards looked at each other, then stepped back. The USF soldier, Turquoise Blade, frowned and stepped closer. She seemed shocked to see him, which Greengrass couldn’t really fault her for. “This party is for Archdukes and above, and a few business interests which the Duke does not—“

“As well as the servants and staff of the ‘Archdukes and above’. The good Duke here has agreed to wait on me head and hoof tonight, so I deigned to allow him to accompany me.” Puissance chuckled. “Isn’t it a sight?”

The few ponies still outside were laughing at Greengrass, who sighed to himself but just kept smiling brightly.

“Now! I believe we do need to enter. Forward!” called Puissance.

Greengrass waved once more at Turquoise Blade, and then he was moving into the room.

###

Fisher peered out from the small window of the side room. “Are you on track?”

“Yes, sir.” Majordomo was sitting in the center of the room, focusing and drawing magical energy into himself. “Cadenza should arrive in about ten minutes. I will be ready by then.”

In order to sell the CCPS as a legitimately threatening group, Fisher had been hoping that Mango would use the sun talisman to do something powerful and dangerous. Mango, however, was no longer available, so Fisher and Majordomo would have to do it themselves. A simple shockwave spell would move through the room, shatter most of the glass, and knock ponies to their feet. Then the CCPS would stampede in – they were waiting for a signal; that would be a clear one – and the USF could move in and arrest them.

Fisher smiled slightly. Majordomo was already a strong magician (his whole family was; they’d served Fisher’s clan for generations in large part due to their magical prowess), and he had some help as well. Ponies like Puissance thought the only way to get powerful artifacts was to buy them or have them made, but Fisher’s industries were always moving through unexplored areas – his mines digging ever deeper under the ground, his lumber company cutting into ancient forests. There were all kinds of treasures that had been lost to the ages, and his industries had standing orders to send him reports whenever they found abandoned settlements or ancient shrines. Fisher had gained a few things that way – like Mango’s sun pendant, at some long-lost shrine to the Sun, or the magic-amplifying bracelet Majordomo was wearing now.

Yes. He can make a powerful enough shockwave to send them all flying. Only the USF will be ready. Only they will—

Archduke! It was Turquoise Blade. Duke Greengrass has entered the party as part of Vicerine Puissance’s entourage. The Guards refused to stop him.

WHAT?! Fisher turned back to the window, and he saw it himself – Greengrass was blowing some ostentatious trumpet to announce the Vicereine’s presence. No! Stop him! Do whatever you must, but the moment he leaves Puissance’s side, drag him out of the party!

Turquoise Blade’s next comment had a note of honest warning. Archduke. Maybe we should put off this plan. We can launch the CCPS at any time, and—

Do not question me. Tell the other USF members to get him out of here. Get close to him, use a muting spell so he can’t protest, and block him off so he has nowhere else to go but with you. Do not let the Guards stop you; say it’s a matter of castle security. No, say the Shadowbolts asked you too. They won’t question that.

“Archduke?” Fisher turned to look at Majordomo. “Is there a problem?”

“No. No problem.” Fisher scowled. “Just keep going.”

###

Greengrass finished pretending to play the trumpet. He noticed all the ponies in the room staring at him and laughing amongst themselves Yes, yes, the once-great Greengrass, now a humble servant of Puissance, another of her many toys and possessions. Can we move on now?

Cadenza would arrive shortly. He had to find Fisher before then.

“Splendid.” He turned to see Puissance descending from her palanquin. “Well, be off with you, Duke,” she murmured. “You’ve got an Archduke to find.”

“I do. I—“

He noticed two USF members cutting towards him. As soon as he looked directly at them, they noticed him and immediately changed course.

Glancing in a reflective ornament, he saw two more sliding up at him from behind.

Great. I need to keep these ponies off my back until I can find Fisher…

Well, Fisher wasn’t in the room – at least, Greengrass didn’t see him, and the moss-green pony was difficult to miss – so he was probably in the only other place he could be, that storage area in the back. Greengrass needed to get over there. But he knew he couldn’t evade the USF for that long; there had to be at least twenty of them in the room.

They can’t drag me out if everypony is watching me, so…

He glanced at the stage, where a quintet of musicians, led by the impeccably honest Octavia Philharmonica, were warming up. “Puissance, what’s the music for tonight?”

“Cavallian formal dances, mostly. Why?”

If I’m dancing, dancing wildly, all eyes will be on me…

“When do they start?”

“Upon Princess Cadenza’s arrival.”

The USF were getting very close now. Greengrass resisted the urge to shudder. He’d be relatively safe while he was near Puissance, since he was part of her entourage, but she wasn’t going to hurry over to the back storage area just for his convenience (and, besides, he didn’t want her around when he attacked Fisher. She’d find some way to ruin them both and profit handsomely from the event). And as soon as he left her side, he’d be dragged away.

“When is that?”

“… eight minutes, give or take.” She smiled coyly. “Would you like it to be earlier?”

“Yes, that would—“

“Wonderful. I’ve heard such amazing things about the Greengrass family treasures.”

“We have treasures now?”

Puissance laughed. “Not as many nor as rare as mine, perhaps, but still… it was said that your grandmother rescued a tapir prince from an ambush and was granted a fine ruby crown in return.”

The crown or my life? Well, Puissance certainly knows how to drive a hard bargain. I should be glad she’s not after my fiefdom at this rate. “Fine. I’ll give you the crown if you start the music right now.” The USF were within ten feet of him.

Puissance smiled broadly, then flapped her wings and floated into the air. “Miss Philharmonica! Princess Cadenza should be welcomed by the music of her homeland. She will be arriving shortly, so please begin at once.”

Octavia bowed, and beckoned her quintet. In seconds, they began to play.

As Puissance landed, Greengrass was already tossing the trumpet to another member of Puissance’s entourage and hurrying into the crowd to get into the center of the room – that was the dancing area. He slipped right past a USF soldier, who was blocked from catching him only by the chance appearance of a waiter bearing a large tray of drinks. Then he was in the center of the room, looking about frantically for somepony to dance with.

Puissance, for her part, floated up into the air and flew to a little balcony, where she would have a good view of what she felt would be a fantastic show.

###

“…back in my day, they called parties like these ‘shindigs!’ And everypony who attended, every stallion anyway, wore fedoras and trenchcoats…”

Greengrass shoved past the old pony, a Mr. Waddle whom he vaguely recalled as being a friend of Archduchess Nobility for no reason that he could discover. I need a pony to dance with…

The crowd was, fortunately, beginning to vacate the dance floor as the music, an old-style Cavallian waltz, picked up. Greengrass looked around frantically – a few USF ponies were approaching him – and then smiled. He recognized one of the ponies. “Applejack, is it?”

Applejack, decked out in a fancy dress, turned. “Ah… Duke Greengrass, right? Saw ya at Trottingham several months back.”

“Indeed. Here to represent the Trust?”

“Well, we do—“

“Wonderful! May I have this dance?”

“Uh… okay?”

“Splendid!”

The Duke spread out his hooves to clear the immediate area, then began to waltz. He knew how to dance well, but unfortunately, that wasn’t what was needed. He wanted every eye on him, which meant his dance had to be… something special.

He began to dance in wild, exaggerated motions that just managed to meet the beats. “Come on,” he told his neighbors, who were looking at him with bemusement. “Let’s dance!”

Applejack chuckled. She wasn’t a great waltzer, but she seemed to know the steps. “Ya’r havin’ fun!”

Greengrass only smiled.

###

Archduke. There’s a problem.

Fisher growled. What now? He approached the window – and stared. Duke Greengrass and some pony he didn’t recognize were dancing – poorly – in full view of all the ponies. Most of whom were staring at them.

No! “What is he doing?!” he demanded.

Majordomo had finished his preparations and stepped over. “I think that’s the Cavallian Waltz, Archduke.”

Fisher was tempted to throw one of his chess pieces at Majordomo’s head. “That is not what I meant. Just… never mind. Cadenza will be here any minute; we launch the attack the very moment she gets in this room. He can’t get to us in that time.”

###

Puissance grinned. “Duke, you surprise me yet again," she said to herself. "No resources, no allies, barely any plan, but… ah, but unmatched ambition. And isn’t that enough, really?”

She moved along the balcony a little, to get a better view. She had formed an identical assessment of where Fisher was likely to be hiding, and of what Greengrass’s goal was. Judging by the USF’s movements, they were trying to stop him. She grinned. This was so much more interesting than another boring banquet-and-dance for ponies who didn’t have a fraction of what she did.

“Ma’am?” Puissance turned to look at her Night Guard bodyguards, who had followed her up into the balcony. “Is everything alright?”

“Oh, it’s quite fine.” Puissance nodded at the floor. “I just love watching… dance.”

“Uh… yes, ma’am.”

Fisher or Greengrass. Which one would survive the evening, and which would would suffer a serious, perhaps fatal blow? If Greengrass lost, would that be it for him, or would he perhaps just have to surrender his title, or his land, or his dear personal assasstant Notary? If Fisher, was that it for him, or could he scrape by simply by throwing Majordomo to the timber wolves?

Puissance did not sing often; she often seemed immune to the bursts of song that occasionally seemed to infect groups of ponies. Her last song had been at what was supposed to be Octavia Philharmonica’s final performance, and then it had been the whole Court singing. But she did sing now, not loudly, but just audible enough for herself and her Guards to hear it. She looked down at Greengrass, she glanced at Fisher’s hiding place, and she sang:

The one above, the one below,
Place your bets, which of their heads will roll
Made in Her, She glanced at one of the posters depicting the defeat of Corona by Luna; her glance was at Corona, Image we,
Are at least, as greedy and mad as She.
For my eyes, what a glorious sight!
Greengrass, the businesscolt turned on you.
And you say, “Oh the Court is my life!”
Well, he’ll take care of that for you.

She chuckled again. Let them squabble; they had both moved on her at various points in the past, so she was happy to see either one fall.

Archduke Fisher, Duke Greengrass
Love the titles, they’re lovely epitaphs!
Never did, what you should,
And, you claim, it was all for the nation’s great good.
What a lie! A notorious lie.
Fisher, the schemer has turned on you.
And you say, “Defense weighs on my mind,”
Well, he’ll take care of that for you.”

She spread her wings. Please get those foals off the Court!
‘Fore the end of this party, one of their parts will end.
Loosen up your chains, Guards,
What are we waiting for, here’s where the shrewd get ahead!
Oh, please wipe that smile off his face,
Or at least take him down, drive him into the ground!
Loosen up the chains, Guards,
What are we waiting for, here’s where the shrewd get ahead!

Greengrass was making his way obliquely across the room, the crowd moving and laughing so that they could see his antics. The USF had given up on hoping for him to brush up against the edge of the circle, and two pairs of the paramilitia had formed dance couples and were meandering towards Greengrass. Once they got close enough, if they could step quickly and switch partners, they could maneuver Greengrass out of the circle.

Greengrass seemed to notice this. He picked up his pace, much to the consternation of his inexperienced partner, and began angling away from the USF pairs. The two pairs changed direction to move more towards him, in the most amusing race Puissance had ever seen.

Puissance wished she had brought her photographer along. But she hadn’t, so she would just have to enjoy the moment while it lasted.

All they want, is to rise
In the Court, that a foal could surmise.
Be my guest, take each other
Down, and let, your titles go to another.
Such disgrace, you’ve forgotten your place!
You foals, your betters have turned on you
And you say, “But I must win this race,”
Well, I, will win it all – not you!

Please get those foals off the Court!
‘Fore the end of this party, one of their parts will end.
Loosen up your chains, Guards,
What are we waiting for, here’s where the shrewd get ahead!
Oh, please wipe that smile off his face,
Or at least take him down, drive him into the ground!
Loosen up the chains, Guards,
What are we waiting for, here’s where the shrewd get ahead!

Greengrass had made it about three-quarters of the way across the room. Octavia glanced at Puissance, a check to make sure that they’d be in the right place when Cadenza arrived. Puissance smiled to herself and decided to mess with Greengrass a little. She made a specific gesture, the agreed upon signal to speed up. Octavia nodded, and a moment later the magicians were moving at double time. Puissance laughed to herself as Greengrass struggled to keep up, then adopted a grotesque imitation of the Duke’s voice.

”Please miss, for me, miss
Won’t you see if you see, miss?
Oh such disgrace
In the Court I have lost my place
I used to have it around
But Lulamoon kicked and it fell to the ground
Has anyone seen – no need to be mean –
My dignity, seat, or my place?
Please, miss, for me, miss
Won’t you see if you see, miss?
I sought to rule the nation
Now I’m disgraced far below my own station
I’m really not totally sure, but
I think that my dignity’s down in the sewer!
Has anyone seen – no need to be mean--
My dignity, seat, or my place?

Puissance laughed as the song ended while the Duke was still a few feet from the door. “What now, Greengrass?”

###

“Wow! Ya’r a… strong dancer,” said Applejack.

“Thanks,” murmured Greengrass, as the band paused to change their music. They’d start playing again in a minute, but he didn’t have that long.

“Ah gotta get back ta ma family, an’—“

“Alright, so long.” I guess she’s not a zombie anymore. Four left hooves, though. Could use some dancing lessons.

Greengrass began walking briskly towards the door. The USF began to move in on him as the circle of spectators began to fade away, but he should make it. He was close, and –

A USF member, Turquoise Blade, casually stepped in front of the door and paused, like she was taking a breather.

Dang. Now… uh…

And then a passing waiter tripped and spilled a tray of drinks all over Blade.

“Hey!” Blade scrambled away, but somehow got tangled in the waiter’s hooves and fell on top of her. Greengrass took the opportunity to hurry by and make it to the storage room door.

As he opened it (the storage room was not often used and so had no lock), Greengrass glanced at the waiter. She looked familiar. Wait. Is that the Shadowbolt I…

But then he was inside the dark storage room. He quickly shut the door and turned. Now he could find Fisher and—

The next thing he saw was Fisher’s hoof as the Archduke bucked him in the head.

Author's Note:

I have a fondness for slow-motion chase scenes, as you might have been able to tell.

Puissance, like the other nobles, is a lot more hardcore evil here than she is elsewhere. Again, I like the more understated greed she has canonically, but the explicit humiliation she's inflicting on the poor Duke here is also kind of fun.

Comments

[Talon and Thorn]

Well that was a fun chapter nice Notary / Greengrass and Puscience / Greengrass interactions.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

Kinda like the Marx Brothers here. That's a good thing, mind.