Twilight of the Vampires
Part 13: Twilight of the Vampires
“Princess Celestia left already?!” Twilight exclaimed.
“She left as soon as she heard that the Ponyville outpost was under attack.” Princess Luna explained.
“Oh no, oh no no no…” Twilight said.
“What is it, Twilight?” Rarity asked her.
“Bleeding Heart has a cocktrice. He taunted me about it, he thinks- rather, he knows- that by attacking towns and villages, Princess Celestia has to respond. When she does, that is when he’ll strike, petrifying her and leaving Equestria completely vulnerable to him.” Twilight explained.
“Then what do we do? Celestia’s already at Ponyville, Bleeding might have sprung it on her by now!” said Rainbow Dash.
“We need to get the Elements of Harmony, and return to Ponyville.”
“Wait, isn’t the entire reason why we weren’t using the Elements before is that it could kill you and Rainbow Dash?” Applejack asked.
“If we tried to use it on ourselves, it might kill us. But if we focus on just trying to free Celestia, then we should be fine.” said Twilight.
“Now wait just one moment,” said Princess Luna, “how do we know that Bleeding Heart even has a cocktrice in the first place? They’re notoriously hard to keep and train; it would just as likely to turn Bleeding Heart to stone instead. Also, why didn’t he use it on Nightmare Night, or did he assume that Celestia wouldn’t retaliate until it was too late?”
“You think I’m lying?” Twilight asked in response.
“Of course you’re not lying, I just think he was bluffing, and that Princess Celestia is quite fine at the moment by herself.” said Princess Luna.
“But what if he isn’t!” Twilight pleaded, “We need the Elements of Harmony!”
“We’re not going to risk letting the Elements of Harmony fall into the wrong hands!”
“And I’m not going to risk Equestria dying!” said Twilight as her horn glowed. In a purple flash, the Bearers were gone.
“Oh for crying out loud…” Spike muttered, left behind with Luna.
Meanwhile, in the throne room, the Bearers of Harmony appeared in a bright flash of purple that filled the chambers. “We don’t have much time, there’s no way Luna’s going to let us on a train.” said Twilight, running up to the vault. Her horn glowed as she inserted it into the lock, opening the door to reveal the elegant box that contained the fabled jewelry. Twilight took out the box, and opened it to assure herself that the Elements were still inside. Satisfied, she closed the box.
“So we grab the Elements, get back to Ponyville, and kick Bleeding Heart’s ass, and then we can worry later about how to get me and Twilight back to normal.” Rainbow Dash summarized, “Sounds like a plan, let’s do it!”
Twilight gave a soft giggle, “Except that’s not actually the plan at all.” Twilight’s horn glowed once more, and in a flash, the Bearers found themselves underground in the cavernous tunnels, large crystals embedded in the walls and floor. Old, rusted, broken tracks were set along a path. Twilight’s magic was the only source of light, reflecting off of the crystals into the seemingly endless cavern tunnels.
“What in tarnation?” said Applejack, her voice echoing. “Where are we? I thought we were going to Ponyville!”
“Just giving us a little privacy.” Twilight smiled, her eyes now glowing a bright red. “After all, we wouldn’t want anyone interrupting us.” She suddenly lifted everyone else off of the ground with her magic.
“Twilight, what’s going on?” said Fluttershy, flapping and wiggling against Twilight’s hold, “What are you doing?”
“You thought that we were going to help Celestia, didn’t you? Oh no, we’re gonna defeat her!”
“Um, yeah, we kinda assumed that we were going to stop Bleeding Heart. Mostly because he bit you, beat you up, tricked you, and generally made your life miserable.” Applejack replied.
“Twilight, if this is a joke, it ain’t funny!” Rainbow Dash shouted, wiggling against Twilight’s magic.
“Yeah, this is a really bad time and place for jokes like that.” Pinkie Pie added.
“Why are you doing this to us, Twilight?” Rarity asked her. “We’re your friends!”
“That’s exactly why I’m doing this,” said Twilight, her grin widening until it bared her fangs, “you see, if we’re all vampires, we can live forever, together, in perfect harmony. No one will ever have to die! We get to be friends forever!”
“Twilight, stop it, you’re scaring us.” said Fluttershy struggled, tears forming in her eyes.
“Don’t worry, I’ll try not to drag it out.” Twilight somehow smiled even wider. “You’ll all only feel a quick bite on the neck, though vampirism should dull the that pain shortly afterwards. Except for Rainbow Dash, since she’s already a vampire, making the whole process about twenty percent faster!” Twilight giggled.
Rainbow Dash mumbled something under her breath about saying something only once. And that it was only cool if she says it.
“Twilight, stop, please!” Pinkie pleaded, “Listen to us! You don’t want to do this!”
“You’re so wrong, Pinkie Pie,” said Twilight, “there’s nothing I want more than to serve Lord Bleeding Heart forever with all of you with me.”
“And I think that this Bleeding Heart is nothing more than a Bleeding SNAKE!” Applejack shouted. “Whatever hogwash he spewed out into your ear and out your mouth is just so that he can rule all by himself! He doesn’t care about you, anybody, or Equestria, he just wants you kissing his blood-stained, rotten hooves! I’d rather die before I even think of following that creep.”
Twilight turned towards Applejack, eyes ablaze with the red light, snarling at her. Twilight then gave Applejack a cruel smile. “Congratulations Applejack, I can arrange that for you.” she said as she walked up towards her, licking her fangs.
Rarity levitated a large rock and threw it at Twilight’s horn. Twilight’s magic fizzled out immediately when the stone collided, dropping them all to the floor. “Nice shot there, Rare.” Applejack called out.
Twilight shook her head, her eyes flaring with red light once more as she snarled at the Bearers again. “You all just made a big mistake.”
“Damn it Twilight!” Luna muttered. “Guards! Search the castle for Twilight and her friends.” The guards nodded and ran out into the hallways, closing the door behind them.
“W-wait!” said Spike, standing in front of Luna, “What if Twilight’s right? Maybe Bleeding Heart only got a cockatrice yesterday or something?”
“How about you consider if Bleeding is bluffing instead?” said Luna. “He ‘accidentally’ lets Twilight go, makes a show of trying to chase her down. Twilight comes back here, gathers the Bearers and the Elements together, returns to Ponyville, and is then captured by Bleeding Heart’s army. Then Princess Celestia has to worry about six hostages that jeopardizes the safety of Equestria if they all died, or worse all became vampires under Bleeding’s complete control.”
There was a knock at the door.
“In a minute.” said Luna towards the door. Turning back to Spike, she continued, “Twilight is indeed fortunate to have a wonderful band of friends that she does now, but that does not mean that they can throw away their lives so recklessly, not when all of Equestria depends on them.” Luna picked up Spike with her magic, put him aside and opened the door.
Any greeting she was about to say got trapped in her throat, leaving her jaw hanging open as she stared dumbfounded.
Bleeding Heart was leaning on the doorframe. “It’s been a very long time. Did you miss me, ‘Lulu?’”
When Luna’s voice returned, she screamed and cast a bolt of lightning at him, only for a sudden pink flash blinding her, and feeling the thousands volts rebounding back towards her, causing her to scream for a different reason.
“Now Luna, is that any way to greet your old faithful ‘knight’ after all this time?” Bleeding mocked as he walked into the room, with Shining Armor and several guards following behind him.
“How?” Luna managed to croaked out, her vision doubling, her body still twitching.
“Well not to toot my own horn, but did you and your sister really think you were safe in your ivory towers surrounded by castle spires?” said Bleeding as he walked up to Luna, “I’ve been hiding from Celestia for a thousand years. I was at ground zero of your banishment and I still got away. Even with this, did you think you could match my cunning skill?…”
~Half an hour ago…~
Two guards in blue armor stood at one of the outer gatehouses of Canterlot Castle. “Of out of every single guard in this city, we’re the ones who still has their normal post. Just standing around in a freaking half-ghost city with literally nothing to do but stare off in the middle distance. Heck, I bet even the mall cops got reassigned to the outposts.” moaned one of the guards.
“Hey, it’s not so bad, Truck. It’s just a matter of perspective. We’re defending the most important part of Equestria of all: we’re standing guard at the brains of this entire war effort. Plus we’re like, 99% less likely to get eaten by vampires.” said the other guard.
“Caboose, is all of that what Shining Armor told you?” said Truck, rubbing his suddenly aching head.
“Well, yeah. Because I know to listen to ponies with authority.” said Caboose.
“Caboose, you stood attention at a flag waiting for an inspection from the Princesses that me and Shrine made up.”
“And that’s why I don’t listen to you!”
Truck stopped himself short from saying anything else on the matter when he saw out of the corner of his eye a group of guards… shambling towards them. “Shoot, it’s the Captain, stand up straight!”
They both stood up as guards approached, though they noticed Bleeding Heart was in the middle of the group with his hooves wrapped in heavy chains.
“Truck, Caboose, open the door. We’ve caught a vampire who was sneaking aboard the train, and we’re taking him to the dungeons.” said Shining in a slightly slurred, but monotone voice.
“Yes, curse you and all the royal guards! I would have plunged the world in darkness if it weren’t for you!” said Bleeding.
“Uh, okay sir, but shouldn’t we also have the flares set up so that Princess Celestia knows what’s going on? There might be more of those guys on that train.” said Truck.
“There is absolutely no need for that.” Shining Armor said, “We’ve combed the entire train, and he’s the only vampire on board. Besides, the Princess has more important matters to attend to.”
“Yes sir, opening it right away sir!” said Caboose enthusiastically as he reached for the gate door controls.
“Wait, Caboose, stop! Doesn’t the Captain seem a bit... weird?” said Truck.
“Like he’s being mind controlled like he was at his wedding?”
“Well… Yeah, that’s exactly it. And also the vampire is the only one that doesn’t sound or act like he’s an inebriated zombie.”
“See, I thought that too, but back then the Captain’s eyes were glowing green. Right now the Captain’s eyes are glowing red, so obviously that means he’s not being mind controlled.”
“Wait, his eyes are glowing red?!” said Truck, before he looked out again down at the guards at the gate.
“What’s taking so long?” Shining called up. “Don’t make me come up there.”
“Caboose, if his eyes are glowing at all, then 99% of the time it’s because he’s been mind controlled! Don’t open it!”
“What about that 1%?”
“I was just exaggerating! The point is, we shouldn’t open that gate!”
“Fine…” Caboose then turned and shouted down at guards below. “Truck doesn’t want you guys in because he’s being overly-paranoid! I guess this means we need to do the password!”
Shining and Bleeding rolled their eyes at the same time, before Shining groan-shouted back up, “Fine, the password is ‘I forgot-’”
“Caboose, you idiot, if he’s being mind controlled, then the vampire will just force him to say the password!” said Truck.
“Then may I ask why the flying feathers do we even have a password system in the first place?!” said Caboose.
“Oh for the love of-” Bleeding shouted before teleporting into the room, and then knocking out the two guards with two swift magic beams. “I should’ve done this first.” he muttered.
~Back in the present~
“...The only reason why I stayed so low-key for such a long time is that, no thanks to you, I never had the means to bring an end to her or her wretched sun. But now that has finally changed, and I will be able to create a new world of immortal, supreme beings!”
“And just what has changed, Bleeding?” Luna asked.
“It isn’t obvious? You’re back. Or rather, Nightmare Moon will be back, but petty details. Now, you’re either going to become my devout servant willingly or become my devout servant unwillingly.”
“...You’re not giving me much of a choice, are you.”
“I thought it was fitting, since you never gave me much of a choice in the matter either.”
“If you think I will betray Equestria again, think again. I have realized my mistakes, and I will not repeat them. Bringing Nightmare Moon back would only destroy the world, not bring about a utopia. Please, for both our sakes, for the sake of the world, stop this Bleeding Heart.”
“No. Not after all that I have done for you: My own life, my own dreams, my own family, all sacrificed for you and your coup! I will see this come to fruition one way or another, I will not let their sacrifices go to waste, unlike you.” Bleeding said.
Luna shook her head, “Bleeding, don’t delude yourself, we both know your family died trying to stop us: your own brother begged Celestia to execute him rather than become a vampire after he saw what had become of you! Do you honestly believe that this would honor their deaths?”
“...Perhaps not. Golden Heart never understood my reasoning.” Bleeding admitted, “But in the end though, I still chose you over them. Turning back now would only make his, and many others’, deaths utterly pointless. But you on the other hand... you never sacrificed anything. Never had to. You never had the guts to look at your sister in the eye when you drained the life out of her, even when you had her completely in your mercy. I still can’t believe it took me until your surrender to realize it, but the whole thing was purely win-win for you.”
“Bleeding that’s not true!”
“Yes it is!” he shouted at her, “Sure, you were banished for a thousand years and had to beg your sister like a dog to let you back, but here you are: a Princess, a co-ruler of Equestria, as if nothing happened! Besides, what’s a thousand years to an immortal being like you? Surely, the sin of destroying hundreds if not thousands of families in you two sisters’ little spat is covered now that you’re back together, right? And if you won, even better, you alone would rule Equestria, nopony would ever be able to stand up to you! Are you proud, Luna? Are you proud that you turned me into a stallion with nothing left to lose, but everything to gain?”
“No.” said Luna. “You’re right, I did exploit you and several other good souls. And I am not proud of what I have done to you, or anything I have done as Nightmare Moon. I had despised the laughter of my subjects in the daylight, I became dishonest, lying to myself and others about how it would be better if I alone ruled, and then abused the loyalty of those like you. That is why Nightmare Moon, or vampirism would never bring about a utopia. That is why I asked my sister for forgiveness, why I am trying to save Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, why I’m trying to save you from my curse. You’re only condemning yourself by repeating my mistakes, but it doesn’t have to be this way. Let me help you; let me cure you, make amends with Celestia and Equestria on your behalf, end this cycle, give you a second chance!”
Bleeding Heart said “Cure me?” very quietly, before repeating it much louder, “Cure me?! I was weak, I was dying when you gave me this, Luna, and you would take it away from me?! If I had wanted to be a coward like you, begging for forgiveness and be cured of this ‘curse,’ don’t you think I would have come to you and your sister not a day after you returned?!” He lifted up the table and tried to smash it upon Luna. Thankfully, Luna managed to cast a shield, protecting herself, which broke the table into two large pieces with thousands of splinters surrounding her. Spike quickly dove behind a potted plant as the table was smashed to pieces. “No, I did not come here to be forgiven, I came here to finally claim what my work should’ve brought about and more. I will finish what you started!” said Bleeding Heart. “And I will do it with the very means you’ve given me.”
“...Then you leave me with no choice but to stop you. I will not stand by while you foolishly repeat my sins.”
“Ha! What can cripple like you-” Bleeding felt a burning sensation on his hind legs and tail. Turning his head around, he learned that it wasn’t just a sensation, but that he was actually on fire thanks to a certain purple dragon. “AAAGGGH!!!” Bleeding Heart screamed, flailing around trying to put himself out. “Don’t just stand there you brainless husk!” Bleeding shouted at Shining, “Get the dragon!”
“Exit stage left!” Spike called out as he slid past between Shining’s legs as he lumbered around trying to catch Spike.
“Damn it all to Tartarus, after him! We can’t let him alert Celestia ye-!” Bleeding shouted after Spike and Shining, when Luna grabbed him with her magic and used him as a bludgeon to knock out the other vampire guards in the room before they could even act. Bleeding tried to retaliate by using his own magic to throw pieces of the table at her and followed up with a series of fireballs, but Luna deflected them into the remaining guards with ease but she had to drop Bleeding in the process.
“You forget, Bleeding, that I still have my magic; more than enough to defeat you.” said Luna.
Bleeding screamed in rage as he attacked with another volley of fireballs.
Meanwhile, back in Ponyville, the fight between the ponies and the vampires was in a fever pitch. Spells and assorted projectiles flew in the air, bites and kicks were exchanged in close quarters.
And yet in the midst of all the chaos of battle, Celestia noted something out loud; “They should be retreating by now. Just what are they trying to accomplish?”
“I don’t know your Highness, maybe enslave/kill all life, overthrow Equestria’s government, so many different things they would want to do.” Spitfire shouted as she knocked out a vampire’s teeth with a well-aimed kick.
“Well yes that much is obvious but I’m failing to see just how throwing themselves like this accomplishes that. Besides, the first time they attacked here, they retreated as soon as they saw me. But now they’re still here, still fighting despite the disadvantage my powers puts them in. They also could’ve easily tried to split up and spread out, and make an attempt at getting around us.”
“So… you don’t know if they’re being idiots, or if this is really a trap and they’re making us idiots.” said Soarin.
“That’s just it, I don’t kno-” when a wisp of green smoke snaked in front of Celestia before forming into a large lock of black and ash grey tail hair, with some small clippings of white hairs. Celestia looked at the tail in confusion. “What on earth? Why would Spike send me this?” she said.
“Maybe he sneezed. That happens sometimes right?”
“Well, yes, but I don’t particularly remember any of the guards having this tail…” said Celestia.
“I don’t recognize that either, maybe it’s one of the noble’s?” asked Spitfire.
“I may not always be up to date on fashions, looks much too unkempt to be-” Celestia said before trying to pick up the hairs. Only, when she did so, the hairs wilted and started to disintegrate into ashes, and gave off a peculiar, but familiar smell. Celestia’s jaw dropped, her eyes widened in horror as she looked at Canterlot Castle.
“What the-?” said Spitfire, looking at the smoldering ashes.
“Canterlot’s been compromised.” said Celestia.
“What?! How? They didn’t send up a flare, what makes you think that Canterlot is in trouble?”
“Smell it.” Celestia pointing at the ash pile.
“...It smells like the smell we’ve been smelling ever since we got here; burning hair. Well, vampire hair, but why is that… Important...” Spitfire’s eyes widened as she realized what that meant.
“That tail didn’t belong to Rainbow Dash nor Twilight Sparkle.” Celestia elaborated.
“Okay, maybe it’s just one vampire, and they’re dealing with it right now, and there’s nothing to worry about.” said Soarin, his nervous fidgeting giving away his true thoughts on the matter.
“Let’s hope you’re right. Spitfire, I want the fastest pegasus we have with us to go and investigate whether or not Canterlot is in danger.”
“Of course your Highness!” said Spitfire, before shouting towards a white maned, light cyan pegasus, “Fleetfoot, are you bite-free?” receiving a quick nod as a response, Spitfire continued, “Good, we need you to go and double-check Canterlot, make sure that there isn’t a vampire sneaking around there.”
“Unicorns, I want coverfire for that pegasus.” Celestia called out.
Fleetfoot took off into the skies, but she didn’t have cover fire. Rather, she was almost immediately shot down from behind.
“Watch your aim! I said cover fire, not-” Princess Celestia shouted as she turned around to face the unicorns that did it, only to see one readying another blast, barely giving Celestia time to reflect it back at him, knocking his helmet off. “-FRIENDLY FIRE!!!” When she looked at the guard she inadvertently hit, she saw bite marks on his neck, and his skin under his fur becoming irritated now that they were no longer covered by the helmet. The guard writhed not only from the hit but from some other scorching source of pain. “Oh no…” Celestia whispered.
Another guard tried to tackle Soarin. “The heck is going on?! I thought they were on our side!” he shouted as he dodged.
“They were already vampires before we got here.” Celestia said, “That means the vampires managed to subdue them before they even could send the flares. Ponyville was already compromised well before we learned it was attacked!”
“...Wouldn’t that also mean that Twilight Sparkle might not have been on that train either, right?”
“...FUCK.” Princess Celestia said out loud.
Twilight kicked at Rarity, but was blocked by Rarity’s magic, turning Twilight around to face Rarity. Horn glowing, Twilight created a magic drill around her horn, and rammed Rarity. Sparks flew as the drill met shield, before there was a large boom as Rarity’s shield was finally destroyed, the sound echoing through the empty caverns. Rarity fell to the floor, clutching her ears as they rang in pain, as Twilight dismissed the magic drill and stood above her, ready to bite.
Twilight’s bite was interrupted by a lasso that came from behind and caught Twilight’s head and pulled her backwards onto the ground. Twilight got back up, gripped the rope with her magic and yanked on it, causing Applejack to faceplant on the rocky floor.
Rainbow Dash charged at Twilight like a bullet, but Twilight disappeared in a flash of light, and so Rainbow crashed and rolled onto and with Rarity. “Get off of me!” said Rarity as she spat out dirt, wiggling and trying to pry herself from the tangled mess she and Rainbow were in.
“Consarn it,” Applejack said, spitting out dirt herself, “where did she get off to now?”
They all heard a cruel laugh as it echoed throughout the cavern. “She sounds close…” said Fluttershy, as she fearfully looked about the tunnels, looking for even a shadow of Twilight. Even with Twilight and Rarity’s magic being the only source of light in the tunnels, the crystals reflected and refracted enough for it was impossible to track the source.
“Twilight, I think I can speak for everybody else here when I’m saying this, I really don’t want to hurt you! We’re all trying to help you out here!” Applejack shouted as she backed herself closer to the rest of the bearers.
“Well isn’t that ironic?” said Twilight, still unseen, “I was offering you the calm and easy way to go. It was you who decided to take the hard, more fun way. All this fighting is making me hungrier and hungrier by the second. It’s quite a rush really.”
“Dang it, where is she?” Rainbow Dash said out loud, mostly to herself, as she flew above the group.
“Right here.” Twilight whispered, before suddenly appearing, leaping at Applejack’s vulnerable flanks. Pinkie Pie spun around and pulled out her Party Cannon from…uh… party-space? Anyway, Pinkie fired the cannon just as Twilight was upon Applejack, sending Twilight flying into cavern wall covered in yellow cake with white frosting.
“Nice shootin Tex!” Rainbow Dash congratulated Pinkie.
Twilight wiped her face and growled at Pinkie Pie, having a meal denied. She was about to get back up again, when Pinkie Pie tackled her first and started smashing a pie into Twilight’s face. “Go to sleep, please go to sleep, you should be falling asleep about now, girls why isn’t this working?!” Pinkie Pie said, panic starting to climb as Twilight tried to reach and strangle Pinkie Pie.
“Pinkie! She can’t digest food, at best you’d drown her first!”
“But Twilight doesn’t need to breathe either.” Fluttershy pointed out.
“Oh, you remind me this after I go and perform a life-risking action and waste a Chekhov's Gun?!” Pinkie shouted back. “Okay, it’s not really set up that far in advance, and maybe an off hoof comment about it might not be enough for it to be considered a Chekhov’s Gun, but it-”
“Shut up already!” Twilight said, blasting Pinkie Pie flying back at the rest of her friends. “Now you idiot foals starting to tick me off, and making me wish I-” Twilight suddenly had something else catch her attention for a moment, her expression cooling from frothing rage to something cold. “Looks like you wasted not only my patience, but my time as well, and I have to attend to more pressing matters, so I need to leave you all to rot instead. A pity really, when you all could have lived.” she said her horn glowing.
Everyone else tried to pounce on Twilight, but they were too slow, and instead crashed face-first on the ground right after a bright pink spark and a snap.
Bleeding Heart leapt at Luna, only for her to teleport behind him, and letting him crash into a wall. As he tried to pick himself back up, he was slammed back on the floor by Luna’s magic, and was flipped with his belly up. When he tried to dispel it, Luna’s hoof swiftly came down on his horn, easily pinning his head to look up towards Luna’s cold glare and the ceiling above her. He couldn’t quite see, but he certainly felt Luna pressing the broken end of a chair leg on his chest. “You’ve gotten very sloppy Bleeding,” Luna noted outloud, “first you let Twilight escape, and now you revealed yourself to me when you should have used the diversion to escape Celestia’s blockade. Now Celestia will know of your trickery, and Twilight and her friends will have prepared the Elements of Harmony to stop you. It’s over Bleeding: this is your last chance to surrender and live.” Luna emphasised the last point by subtly applying more pressure on the chair leg into his chest.
Bleeding started to laugh, “Do you really think Twilight is on your side?”
Before Luna could respond, she heard the pop of the teleport spell behind her. She only had enough time to turn her head to see Twilight behind her, before Twilight hit her with a magic beam, sending her flying across the room. She struggled to get back up, but the room seemed to spin around her, and in her daze she saw double images of Twilight Sparkle helping Bleeding Heart back up on his hooves.
“Good night, Luna.” Bleeding said, before he and Twilight both pounced on top of Luna, biting her.
She couldn’t help but let out a scream as the fangs dug into her, she felt her heart racing as she realized that her time was short. Working quickly, she tapped Twilight on the head with her own glowing horn. She had one chance, one guess, but if it was right, then Equestria could yet be saved.
Twilight suddenly stopped biting, her eyes wide open, but no longer having the red glow. She didn’t feel the mental pressure from Bleeding Heart anymore. Twilight instinctively gulped a mouthful of Luna’s blood, an amazing taste she could hardly describe, but something she never wanted to taste either. She blankly stared at the wall in shock. Twilight looked back down at Luna, her body developing black splotches everywhere. Luna no longer had any strength to keep her head up, but only smiled as she saw that Twilight’s right mind was back, before Luna let out one last bit of breath.
“Ah revenge! How sweet is thy taste!” Bleeding laughed, his muzzle still dripping with Luna’s blood.
Twilight turned to look at him; he seemed too preoccupied with Luna’s blood to notice anything had happened. Still, she didn’t want to take too many chances, and spoke up, “Uh, Master, I believe I left some uh… pressing matters to attend to.”
“Hmm? Oh sure, whatever.” Bleeding waved her off.
Twilight teleported out of the room, leaving the oblivious Bleeding Heart alone with Luna’s body.
Meanwhile, back beneath Canterlot…
“Oh dear…” Rarity said slowly.
“What’s wrong?” said Applejack.
“Does anybody know where we are?”
“...In a cave? Deep underground?” said Pinkie Pie.
“Yes, but where?
“What’s your point, Twilight didn’t teach you how to teleport?”
“I’m still haven’t gotten the hang of it,” Rarity confessed, “but my point is that even if I did, teleporting requires me to know where I am relative to my destination. I don’t know if Twilight teleported us 100 meters into the earth, or 1000, and therefore we’re trapped!” Rarity began to wallow dramatically, “Doomed to die a slow painful death of starvation, never to be found until we’re all but dust and bones!”
“Welp, I sacrifice myself first for the greater good of us all.” said Pinkie Pie.
“What?”
“I want you girls to eat me first.” Pinkie Pie said flatly.
“Ew, no, why would you even suggest that?!” said Rarity.
Pinkie Pie sighed, “Instead of just lying around waiting for death to take us all while Equestria lays in ruins above us, we should at least try to find a way out. I still have some food, but that will last us maybe a week. We can prolong our survival by cannibalizing and turning ourselves into vampires one by one. I should be sacrificed first, otherwise my high metabolism would just make me wither away before everyone had enough, or hog all the food before anyone had a bite.”
“...I don’t know what scares me more, the fact that’s actually our best plan we have right now, or the fact that Pinkie Pie of all ponies is the one who suggested it.” said Applejack.
“What about the fact that Pinkie is completely serious about this?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“Oh don’t worry, at the most I will be nearly-dead before Rainbow Dash turns me into a vampire!” said Pinkie Pie cheerfully.
“Oh. That… that actually makes sense. I’m okay with this plan now.” said Fluttershy.
Rarity voiced her disgust by throwing up into an empty minecart.
“How about Fluttershy of all ponies is okay with it?” said Applejack, eyes wide open in horror.
“Wow.” said Twilight Sparkle, “I never thought you girls would resort to cannibalism so quickly. Seriously, I left you alone for what, two minutes? Three, tops.”
“Well excuse me, some of us don’t have the ability to plan out the most optimal chance of everyone surviving entirely in our brains while stranded in who knows where in these caves. Better to plan it out now rather than a week in when we’re all starving to death, panic, and then kill and eat each other in a cannibalistic buffet-frenzy.” said Pinkie Pie.
The rest of the mane six nodded in agreement, but then realized that Twilight Sparkle had teleported back in. “Get her!” Rarity shouted, before they all pounced on Twilight at once.
“Don’t eat me!” Twilight shouted in a panic under the huge dog-pile.
“Don’t worry sugarcube, we won’t need resort to that sort of thing, if you’re feeling cooperative.” said Applejack.
“Wait, how do we know that Twilight’s back to normal?” Rainbow Dash asked. After brief stare from everyone else Rainbow continued “...relatively speaking.”
“Oh, you could tell us about your favorite book, or your favorite memory or-” said Pinkie Pie.
“Um, I’m pretty sure Bleeding would know all that, especially after brainwashing Twilight.” said Fluttershy. “Hmm… Oh! Her eyes! They’re not glowing anymore, that means something, right?”
“Yeah, they were like Twilight’s own headlights back there!” Pinkie quipped.
“Maybe?” said Rarity as she looked at Twilight’s eyes, “Were they glowing back at the train station or not? I honestly don’t remember…”
“To be honest, I thought her eyes were all bloodshot. You know, from being all beat up.” said Applejack.
“Well shoot... How about asking Twilight what she would never, ever, do.” said Pinkie Pie.
“Oh that’s easy, I wouldn’t try to kill and eat my friends in a Carrie-esque blood-triggered rampage… Oh wait! That’s a thing I actually did! Whoops, at least I didn’t help somebody complete their plans to destroy Equestria and/or all life as we know it, oh wait I did that too!” Twilight Sparkle screamed. “Celestia help me if I took the time to write down a checklist of all the things I would never do, because I might find out I’ve already crossed them all out!!!”
“Um… You’ve been having a really bad day, do you want us to leave you alone for a while? Or anything else?” said Fluttershy, as she got out of the dog pile.
“If by ‘day,’ you mean ‘month,’ then yes, yes I have been.” said Twilight, taking a couple of deep breaths, she continued. “Sorry I snapped at you all. But we don’t have time to rest or argue about this. Bleeding already got to Luna and if we don’t-” said Twilight.
“Wait, Luna? I thought Bleeding was gonna turn Celestia into a lawn ornament, not Luna.” Pinkie Pie interjected.
“That was just a lie to get the Elements out of the way, and make sure that Luna is alone when he turns her into Nightmare Moon.” Twilight explained, “Now if the rest of you would all get off of me, that’d be wonderful.”
“Hmm… naw, I don’t think you’ve convinced us that this isn’t another trap.” said Applejack.
“Why would that even be necessary?!” Twilight screamed, her face getting more and more flushed, “I didn’t have to come back here, it’s not like Bleeding’s plan revolved around you girls becoming vampires, he just wanted you all out of the way! Even if he did, wouldn’t it be a better idea to sneak a bite or two instead of announcing my presence?! Occam’s Razor, people!”
“I don’t see how shaving has to do with this, but everything else sounded convincing.” said Pinkie Pie as she rolled off.
“So what’re we gonna do now?” said Applejack as she and the rest of the bearers undogpiled Twilight, “Like you said, Bleeding got to Luna.”
“What do you think?” Twilight asked rhetorically, as she pulled out the case that held the Elements of Harmony.
“So the whole ‘use it on somebody else and we’ll be fine’ thing wasn’t a total lie?” asked Rainbow Dash.
“To be honest, I’m not completely sure. Bleeding’s certainly afraid of the possibility of it being true; that’s part of the reason why he wanted to be sure you girls were out of the way; vampire, dead, or other. But do we really have any other option?” said Twilight, “Celestia might not make it back in time to stop Bleeding from leaving with a vampirized Luna in tow, even if Celestia realizes this was a ruse as soon as she made it to Ponyville. Heck, even just Bleeding himself escaping could spell disaster for Equestria.”
“Sounds good to me, let’s do it!” said Pinkie Pie, “I’d hate to live in a world where you can’t taste chocolate, or vanilla, or blueberries…”
“Just so that we’re clear, I don’t like the idea of you two getting killed over the off chance that this might work. But, like you said, we don’t have any other option, and it’s better than sitting on our haunches.” said Applejack.
“I second that feeling.” said Rarity.
“I just hope that you two will be okay.” said Fluttershy.
“I think it’s about time that jerk got what’s coming to him for messing with us!” said Rainbow Dash.
Twilight teleported all of them back inside Canterlot Castle, in the hallway outside of where Bleeding and Luna were.
“Oh, Twilight, you’re done with…. whatever it was.” Bleeding said, “No matter, that just means we get can move on to-” he was quickly interrupted by a concentrated beam of “shut your stupid face” applied to his face. Or rather, Twilight Sparkle’s magic purple laser, but same difference.
Bleeding flew backwards into the room before landing on his chest. “What!? How?!” Bleeding shrieked, “I had you completely under my control!”
“Not anymore.” said Twilight. “You’re done.”
“You really think it’s over?” said Bleeding, “You foals think that just because you’ve somehow thwarted my control means that I’ve lost? I’ve WON! Your precious Princess Luna is on her way to become a vampire herself. Soon I will defeat Princess Celestia with the reborn Nightmare Moon under my control, nothing can stop me from ruling Equestria!”
“You’re wrong! We have purified Luna of Nightmare Moon before, and the Elements of Harmony can do it again!” said Rarity.
“You’re not serious are you?!” Bleeding asked, in startled fear, “Do you honestly have any idea what you’re doing?”
“Well, if we just focus it on somebody else, we should be fine. Isn’t that what you thought would happen, Bleeding?” said Twilight, giving him a smug smirk.
“Stupid foals, that changes nothing.” said Bleeding, “So long as one vampire exists, my plan may yet succeed. You two have first hand experience with how tantalizing blood can be, it’s only a matter of time before you two cause a massacre all because of some accident. Besides, how do you even know that the Elements will even work for you now?”
“Hey, do you have thousand-year old cobwebs in your brain?” said Pinkie Pie, “We just said that we purified Princess Luna with the Elements. If all the vampires are just powered by Nightmare Moon’s dark magic, then the Elements should be able to purify everyone, Twilight and Rainbow included!”
“If it was so simple as using the Elements in the first place, why didn’t the Princesses have you use it before?” asked Bleeding Heart. This question made the bearers look at each other sheepishly, while Bleeding continued, “Because Nightmare Moon never used it on herself. In fact, Celestia had to resort to using all the Elements by herself, but even she couldn’t use it to ‘purify’ Luna, only banish her. Your precious Princesses fell out of favor of the Elements of Harmony, so why should they work for you when two of you are not only using, but living because of the very dark magic that the Elements rejected? Even if they did work and ‘purify’ vampirism, you’d only destroy yourself because it is the only thing that is keeping you alive.”
“That’s not true, we’re not beyond rescue!” said Rainbow Dash, “The Princesses are making an alternative cure, you’ll see!”
“You believe that foolish lie?” Bleeding laughed, “Do you know what Celestia prescribed for us long ago? Death or Banishment, that was the only choice for us. She had a thousand years, and countless ‘victims’ to test with, and she came up with nothing! And just what has these few weeks done to prove otherwise? But I will take this ‘curse’ and build a paradise with it!”
“And brainwashing ponies into worshipping you, forcing friends and family to kill each other is necessary for that?! You think that immortality alone justifies a utopia?! No, you don’t understand anything about real friendships, the real harmony that creates peace and unites different people together, that makes life worth living! You don’t care about building a better world for anybody but yourself! So you can take your pretend moral high ground and shove it where the sun doesn’t shine- no- Into the sun, because I’d rather die than live in your so-called utopia!” said Twilight, horn glowing.
“No, wait, please!!!”
“I’ve heard enough!” Twilight shouted. The Elements glowed, creating two tendrils of prismatic light around the Bearers. They swirled around and around the group, reaching up to the ceiling. Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash both felt their Elements becoming uncomfortably hot as they looked up at the swirling light above them.
“... Twilight, I thought you said we were gonna focus on blasting that jackass, not make a Pride light show...” said Rainbow Dash, as she absentmindedly fidgeted with the necklace. When she touched the gem however, it burned her in an instant.
“I-I did! I am! The Elements don’t seem to be-” Twilight started to say.
Harmony’s rainbow crashed down on top of them. Their screams echoed loud in that hall, everyone inside the castle could hear it. Light coursed through their veins, illuminating them through their flesh, skin, and hair. They felt their bodies being incinerated and rebuilt from the inside out. When they thought their nerves had been completely destroyed by their inner fires, it was reformed, and they felt pain anew. Unable to withstand it, they instantly collapsed to the ground, their bodies twitched and spasmed instinctively. Rainbow Dash seemed to try fly out of the room, but with the previously mentioned incoordination of the body as a whole, she only made herself roll around on the floor feebly, her feathers falling off and turning to ash with each wingstroke. Twilight’s horn surged and sparked wildly, no longer able to control or contain her own magic, scorching whatever it pointed at.
“Twilight! Rainbow!” Applejack cried out, taking off the necklace. The other bearers followed suit, and as soon as they did so the rainbow immediately ceased.
But Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash did not respond.
“Twilight? Rainbow?” Fluttershy pleaded as she blinked back her tears.
But Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash could not respond.
“No-oh-oh-oh!” Pinkie Pie wailed loudly, tears falling in streams as she cradled Twilight’s limp body. “Why do bad things happen to good ponies?!” she screamed at the ceiling before sobbing into Twilight’s chest.
Bleeding Heart, cowering in a corner, looked up and saw the commotion. “Ah hah! Just as I thought, the Harmony you all fought so hard over brought you nothing but suffering, how fittingly ironic. Don’t worry foals, you’ll be joining them soon.” he said, before slinging a round of fireballs at them.
“No.” said Rarity, blocking the fire by making a wall out of the tile floor.
“Really?!” Bleeding screamed in frustration.
“You heard Twilight Sparkle, we’d rather die than let a maniac like you take over the world!” said Rarity.
“Then just die already!!!” Bleeding screamed as he grabbed Fluttershy before throwing her into Rarity. Applejack charged at him, but a tile shifted from his magic, causing her to trip. Bleeding followed up by pulling up another floor tile, hitting her right on the jaw, before finishing it off with a magic blast, sending her flying into a wall. “You insolent foals should have learned when to give up.”
Pinkie Pie muttered tangentially, “Wait, why do I hear a ‘bump bump’?”
“Just what is giving you this pointless sense of hope, even now? You have nothing that can-”
“Well it’s more of a ‘bump… bump...’, but I’m not sure. Hey, can you keep it down over there? I’m trying to listen.” said Pinkie Pie.
“WILL YOU SHUT UP!?” Bleeding screamed as he slammed Pinkie Pie face-first on the floor.
“Pinkie Pie!” Rarity screamed in horror as Bleeding Heart picked Pinkie up with his magic, Pinkie Pie was still in too dazed to try to resist.
Pinkie Pie’s vision was still blurry when she saw Bleeding lift a shattered table piece. She screamed in pain as the broken wood was buried into her lower abdomen. Bleeding sniffed the air, his face showing his disappointment. “Now that’s a pity, it seems that I’ve been spoiled by Luna: your blood smells sweet, but compared to hers, yours is so dull and tasteless. Though I suppose blood is still bl-”
A weak moan snapped out of his trance, drawing his attention back to the source: Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash, groaning as they tried to pick themselves up.
“Oh bucking Celestia, I feel literally every single cell in my body screaming in pain.” Twilight moaned.
“Applejack, you muddy hillbilly jerk! We had a pact! Friends don’t let friends fly around on fire while drunk!” Rainbow Dash groaned as she clutched herself in a fetal position.
“Wait, what!?” Twilight said, (painfully) turning her head to face Dash. “Why would you even need to make a pact for that!?”
“Well, friends shouldn’t let friends fly around on fire sober, but that’s different matter.”
“You two were still alive this whole time?” Bleeding said, not sure to be frustrated or impressed. He snorted before continuing, “Though perhaps you will feel better after a nice snack!” he said, throwing Pinkie Pie at Twilight and Dash.
The Bearers could only gasp in horror as nothing happened.
“What.” said Bleeding.
“Um, girls? Isn’t this the part where you two viciously eat me alive?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“I don’t feel like eating, I feel like I’ve been dragged straight out of Tartarus.” Rainbow said, rolling around on the floor futilely trying to find a more comfortable position.
“Same here, though I feel more… bmrph!” Twilight said, before turning a slight shade of green and throwing up what could only be described as half-digested, half-burned red sludge. Twilight groaned as she clutched her stomach. “Oh gods, kill me now.”
“What.” Bleeding repeated, louder this time.
“You’re telling me! Am I not delectable to even one vampire? No, I get turned down by three!” said Pinkie Pie, “You’re killing me over here, and that’s not because I’m literally bleeding out right now. You all are jerks.”
“I don’t understand how-” Twilight said when realization struck her, “The Elements!”
Before she get them, a beam of red magic sent her flying across the room, into a wall. She barely had time to regain her senses to put up a shield around herself before Bleeding tackled her. He stomped on the shield with his supernatural strength, further enhanced by his magic, intent on smashing both the shield and Twilight’s head in like a grape. “You know what Twilight, you were right. Vampirism was a wasted gift on such an insolent foal like you.” he seethed at her. “I should have just broken your scrawny neck the first time we met, and then left you swinging off your house for Celestia to find!” he screamed. Twilight’s shield began to flicker and spark, and her head was beginning to swim. “I am the most powerful vampire to ever exist, I have waited too long, sacrificed too much, betrayed by too many to let you or anyone else to take away my life!!! So do us both a favor, when you die, stay in Tartarus!!!” He reared up to strike again.
Twilight’s teleported just as he was about to crush her. When Twilight reappeared, she fired her magic laser at Bleeding before he could react, smashing him into the wall. “You might be stronger than me, but you’re not stronger than my friends.” Twilight said, defiant despite almost at the point where she could collapse from exhaustion.
Bleeding let out a feral scream as he charged at Twilight. Twilight fired several more beams, but Bleeding just shrugged off the blows, barely slowing him down enough for Twilight to teleport out of the way. He turned around to see Twilight popping back into the room, looking for the Elements. His horn glowed and crackled with magic as he readied another blast...
“Some pies Motherfucka!” Pinkie Pie added as she fired her party cannon, splattering Bleeding with an all sorts of different flavors of pies, blinding him and throwing his aim off to fire at a wall instead. Fluttershy took the opening and flew right into his barrel, knocking the wind out of him and carrying him into the wall, before springing off his stomach back to her friends. Applejack followed up with the family technique passed down to her, the “kick them really hard, in the face.” move, breaking his fangs. He fell onto the floor in pain, before it turned into a wrathful scream as he tried to retaliate against Applejack by pouncing on her. Applejack rolled with the pounce, before kicking him into the air, which set him up to be uppercutted by Rainbow Dash. He would have flown quite a height, were there not the stone ceiling which he slammed against. He didn’t even have time to fall back down to the floor before Rainbow flew into him again, breaking through the ceiling, and the ceiling of the floor above. Rainbow then grabbed him and pile drove him through the floors, back to the floor with the others. Bleeding bounced limply into the air, and at the peak of that bounce Rarity jump kicked him before following up with a series of flying tiles, sending Bleeding out of the room and into the hallway.
“Alright girls, on me! Let’s finish this!” Twilight shouted, picking up the last Element off of the floor.
Bleeding Heart hazily saw the Bearers gather together with their Elements. “No… No!” he said, gagging on his own foul blood as he crawled out of the rubble with his broken, bloody limbs. “I’ll kill you! I’ll tear all of your throats out like jello! I’ll feed your corpses to your families!!!” he screamed at them, his smashed horn sputtering and sparking.
All he ate was a Rainbow of Harmony. He screamed as he felt the light consume and burn him inside-out. He burned and he screamed, until he couldn’t do either one anymore. He collapsed on the floor without resistance. The Rainbow then wove itself around Luna’s body and around Pinkie Pie, healing their injuries, with Luna’s body restored to its normal dark blue color. Luna gasped for breath once, but remained asleep as she was gently lowered back down. A wave of Rainbow burst from the castle, and began to cover the land.
Spike had been running from Shining Armor and a few extra vampire guards the entire time, with his superior agility being the only thing that kept him from their grasp. But that turned useless when Spike made a wrong turn and went into a dead end. The vampires had closed in on him, when they started screaming in pain, and then the wave of Rainbow of Harmony washed over them a second later. The vampires screamed even louder until they all fell over unconscious.
Somewhere in the area between Canterlot and Ponyville, Celestia and her forces where having a fighting retreat back to Canterlot. Or, rather, Celestia’s forces were retreating, while Celestia was fighting. It was at that moment vampires suddenly cried out in unison, “Master!”, and ceased fighting at the moment to scream and writhed as the figment of the pain he felt was unwittingly passed on to them.
“Princess? What’s happening?!” Spitfire shouted over the howls.
Celestia opened her mouth, only for the Rainbow of Harmony to suddenly wash over the entire land, raising the vampires’ screaming more before they all fell over on the ground unconscious. “That.” Celestia finally said, pointing at the air. “That happened.”
“It’s finally over…” Twilight sighed, and only just now realized that she’s been running on adrenaline the entire time and felt very light headed. “Wow, that was kind of a rush.” She suddenly had a hard time standing on one spot, the room seemed to slowly spin for her.
“Anybody mind if I just take a quick nap, like, right now?” Rainbow Dash said, legs shaking a little, head rolling a little, eyes drooping.
“No, it's fine. Oh look, this carpet looks cozy.” Twilight said, right before faceplanting into said carpet, and started snoring.
“Oh hey, it actually does.” said Rainbow, before flopping down, missing the carpet completely and instead falling on top of Twilight, and began snoring as well.
“Twilight! Rainbow!” Fluttershy exclaimed, flying over to them, checking their breathing and their pulse.
“They’re just worn thin, not that I blame them, they had it the roughest.” said Applejack as she gently picked them up. “Still, wouldn’t hurt to find them a proper bed.”
Twilight’s eyes fluttered open, her vision was blurry. Her throat felt dry, her body felt extremely heavy and aching, and her head felt like it was being pounded from both inside and outside. As she gulped for air, she realized that she was wearing a respirator mask. She blinked a few times to clear her vision, her hooves feeling too heavy to lift up and rub her eyes. The room was silent and empty, save for the bed she was on, the heart monitor she was connected to with its steady beeping noise, the IV stand, and numerous other medical equipment.
She struggled to get herself to sit up on the bed, when a nurse happened to walk by. “Oh! Easy there, Ms. Sparkle, you’ve been out for a while.” the nurse said, walking up to the bed. She pressed a button and the motors in the bed gave a low whir as it moved to an reclining position.
As the nurse looked over the vitals, Twilight tried to speak, but it came out as only a whisper. “How long was I out? What happened?”
“Please stay calm, Ms. Sparkle. You’ve been out for a few days. Don’t worry, there doesn’t seem to be any lasting injuries right now, but I’m sure you’re very weak right now. I’ll go and tell everyone how you’re doing.” The nurse walked out of the room and into the hallway.
Twilight felt bothered that the nurse still didn’t address as to what caused the (evidently) days-long coma she was just waking up from. Twilight had tried to ask the nurse again as she had walked out, but it only came out as incomprehensible wheezing. Frustrated at her fruitless attempts to communicate with the nurse, Twilight laid her head back down on the pillow. Memories started to come back to her. She shuddered, remembering the feeling of being burned up from the inside out…
“Twilight Sparkle? Are you still awake?” said Princess Celestia as she entered the room. Memories of being burned by the sun in particular flashed before Twilight’s eyes, as she reflexively tried to pull up the large blanket to cover herself. “Don’t worry, my faithful student, I won’t hurt you, see?” Celestia said as she gently pulled the blanket away from Twilight’s face.
Twilight stared at Celestia in utter awe, not feeling any pain from gazing upon her. With all of her strength, she grabbed and pulled Celestia’s neck to herself for a hug, happy tears streaming down her face.
“Easy there,” Celestia said as she lowered herself to Twilight, “everything is all right.”
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Wut updates after 3 years? Well in better getting reading.
SuggestedRequired listening.why so much rvb references
Aww... it was just a quick "let's wrap this up" update
or at least felt like one to me 
Wow, it's finally finished!
so what happened to the other vampires like bloody heart and the vampires in ponyville, shining armor and the guards? did they come back to life too
Well, that was certainly disappointing. And after waiting such a long time for it, too. Have a downvote.
Holly shit it lives!... and is... finished?
Well , I would say that , even with it being a quick "let's wrap this up" , it's at the very least better than nothing at all like many authors do...
That's pretty much all I have to say about it.
6803638
I'm downvoting your comment, not necessarily because I disagree with you (I haven't finished this story and therefore can't judge), but because you said the story was bad without explaining why.
Remember, telling an author what's wrong and how they can fix it is criticism. Telling an author that they or their story is bad without explaining is being an asshole.
6803844
It's probably a sign that it needed more setup/development when what should have been a single chapter got so bloated that it pretty much split into two chapters easily.
Yeah, admittedly it is very much a "Let's wrap this story up."
Appreciate that you took your time coming back to actually finish the story, even if it has been almost three years. Personally, I'm slightly disappointed with the ending, since Twilight was "cured", but that's all personal preference, in the end it's a happy/good ending.
OMFG an update
Reading now
...2chapters later
Ha love the Red vs Blue guys making a great cameo in this story
This is the best story I have ever read... I now call you Senpai lol
Ending was rushed but at least it ended after 3 years in development hell.
I wish the ending wasn't so rushed, but at the same time...
FINALLY! CLOSURE!
~Crystalline Electrostatic~
2:1_1/6/2016
6805305
For now, I'm gonna try broadening my abilities a little, try some other things and see what I can or cannot write.
Yeah, that could potentially work as a sequel. Just don't expect it anytime soon.
This was a marvelous read, thanks for coming back to finish the tale. Hope to see more of your writing in the future
keep at it!
6803875
6803896
There's your explanation right there.
I feel conflicted, on one side, I like open ended ending that just give you the gist of what happens. On the other I want to see bleeding heart get tortured.
6805734
Irrelevant. Regardless of whether the author is aware of the flaws of the story, insulting it without giving a reason is pointless and rude.
6806909
That was the reason, the part I was referring to and I honestly don't care one whit how relevant you think it is. Cope.
6806916
Once again, it doesn't matter what the reason is, as you failed to deliver it in a constructive manner. This is the point that I am making: if you want your criticisms (and opinions) to be valued, you should present them in a way that's clear and useful. That is, you should point out flaws in a straightforward way and give alternatives, rather than vaguely calling something bad and generally being negative.
Of course, learning how to take criticism is just as important as learning how to give it. A good critic doesn't attack the maker of what they're criticizing, so therefore, their criticisms shouldn't be taken personally. If you're upset, you should take a minute to calm down, then carefully consider what the critic said and what you can do to improve based on it.
With that, I can honestly say that I've explained criticism as clearly as I possibly could to you. Whether you chose to use this information or not is no longer my problem.
6808136
6806916
came here to see the ending to an old story, stayed for the argument.
6812776
Does it even count as an argument when only one person is arguing and the other doesn't really care?
6812880
Yes, because if you really didn't care you wouldn't have responded at all to anyone on this page.
6812896
I'm a wordy kind of guy. When someone messages me, I try to at least give some kind of response. It seems like the polite thing to do, but eh, nevermind.
6812910
lh5.googleusercontent.com/j4_0ORkxY82HIcQGXyznu_D4VPckbkFczt1PVl-DTc93qcQdqBcR6WqFf7t_mTkmc8AVZJGMlNoo0Xj_rYWjEZpXESeIMRSNHDTXh3igDQGAYtSfJBhmdcpbq1wBqYOW27wZc1I
Actively and unapologetically insulting someone, and then telling people to "cope" when they point it out, is anything but polite.
6812978
If disliking how something was done is insulting it, then I am frankly insulting a huge number of things just by existing and can't really bring myself to care, either.
6812988
Listen, it's not the fact you dislike the story/ending, that's fine. We don't have to agree on everything. Not everyone likes ponies, not every likes vampire stories, that's okay. I don't think I'd be able to craft anything that would satisfy absolutely everybody anyway, and I'd be better off not trying to fuss and cry to every user that disliked the story to try to change their opinion, and instead just focus on being a better writer/person.
It's just that well, how you voiced your displeasure is the problem; 6803638
It's not really polite, nor is it really constructive. The only real thing that I could gleam from it is that I took too long to post the final chapters. Not even why or what you found disappointing with it, just that you disliked it for some reason. Even just a "I disliked the way the story went." or "It ended way too quickly and in an unsatisfying manner.", any of those would have been a better and useful form of criticism. You can't always assume that I'm 100% aware of the problems in the story or how it's structured. Even if I agreed or disagreed with you about those points, it would have lead to a better argument than the one we're having right now.
6813119
Oh, come on, you admitted as much yourself: those two chapters were a quick ending you slapped down just because you wanted to finally be done with it. They're clearly rushed, half tongue-in-cheek and it shows. Yes, I'm disappointed in that. I liked this story a lot before and would have liked seeing it properly finished. I said so... oh, 30 weeks or so ago, looking down the comment section just now. You never got around to really writing up the rest of it and that's alright, sometimes life just gets in the way of things. It's disappointing, but something I can understand.
Seeing it end in such a blatant half-effort just feels like adding insult to injury, though. I'd rather have seen it stay unfinished than given such a quick and dirty wrapup that just screams "yeah, just gonna cross that off the list right quick" and drags the entire rest of it down. And yeah, I expressed my disappointment with that. I didn't feel like giving you a detailed breakdown of why, since you were clearly already aware of the problems with it, and I can't honestly say I think I owed you one, either.
6812988
Strawmanning my argument will not help your case. It is not a matter of whether you like it or not, it's a matter of your behavior. It's possible to dislike something, and to explain why you dislike something, without being rude. That's what criticism's all about; explaining why you dislike something in a clear, concise, and constructive manner.
All I'm asking is that you show people common courtesy. It's not difficult, and it really is worth it.
6812910
awwwww, you do care.
A hapy ending <3
Is it over, are Twilight and Rainbow dash actually cured of vampirism?
Although the way Twilight breezes through all forms of security just by proving that she is Twilight, when everyone knows perfectly well that someone has been trying to brainwash her, is really bad, I don't think I'll downvote as wlam did. If I had upvoted in the past, I would have had to change it to a downvote; but as it is, I can just leave it neutral.
Personally, I would rather you had posted an outline or story summary saying "here's how I would have ended it" rather than banging out a borderline-insulting rush job like this. But even this is better than nothing at all, so thanks I guess.
RvB nough said
6803896
, I'm just wandering if you could, like, please write an alternate ending? 
Even though it's fucking 2016, or at least a few months late,
Like, please?
7032910
Nope, it's based on a novel by Brian Jacques with the same name.
7032902 Shit. With my grammar back then, I would have been a good example.
7033135
OK. Well, if you like cats, give the Warriors series by Erin Hunter a read.
I'll be perfectly honest, that end sequence seemed like a bit of a cop out. Imho.
7299475
Agreed
Wow. Okay. I know this is going to sound stupidly rude and whatever else, but I seriously wasted my time on this particular fiction. I should have just removed this from my read later list when I was going through it. I mean, sure, that writing was pretty decent... but that ending was such a disappointing cop-out. I understand you probably just wanted to finish this, and I never have been so disgruntled about an ending I had to make a call out about it, but this....
I really can't even justify adding this to my favourites.
Ugh, why is it so hard to find a decent Vampony fic?
7527683
So you've read Warriors?
6805305
So was I
7528599 Eh, yeah. Can't say I'm in love with it, but it ain't horrible.
7528877
I love the serIes.
That is actually a factually correct statistic XD