The Royal Canterlot Family

by CartoonNerd12

Starling's First Word, or Cotton Candy Breaks Fire Spark's Brain

Author's Note:

CN12: This oneshot was written by Godslittleprincess.
Authors Note: Yes, the subject is the actual title. Story features "Little Known Facts" from You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown.

The seven royal Canterlot sisters were spending time together in the Canterlot castle. With the five of the sisters living in the Everfree Kingdom and Sunset Shimmer traveling Equestria, they couldn't have sister time as often as they liked, so they were making the most they could of this visit. Currently, the sisters were flipping through some photo albums and regaling Sunset Shimmer with stories of what their children were like growing up.

"Oh, I remember this one," gushed Twilight. "This was when Starling said her first word."

"Hey, Mom," called Fire Spark as he and the rest of his cousins entered the room, "Is it alright if we-?"

Fire stopped, suddenly forgetting what they had entered the room to ask once he caught sight of what his mother and his aunts were looking at.

"Aww, Mom," groaned Whirl Wind, addressing Rainbow Dash. "Don't tell me you're showing Aunt Sunset our baby pictures."

"And why shouldn't she?" joked Sunset. "You kids were awfully cute as babies." This caused all of her sisters to laugh, much to Whirl's chagrin.

"Ooh, I remember that one," exclaimed Cotton Candy, pointing to the picture that Twilight was showing Sunset. "We were trying to help the younger fillies learn words by playing school."

"That was also the day that you broke Fire Spark," added Dignity.

"Oh, how could I forget?!" grumbled Fire Spark.

---

Five years ago, the royal cousins were in the Everfree Kingdom, playing in the garden. Their parents had promised to join them there for a family picnic when lunchtime came. While they were waiting, Fire Spark had decided to play a game of school with the toddlers.

"A is for apple," Fire dictated, holding up a pictured card for his younger sister and cousins. "B is for bell."

"You know what B also stands for?" groaned Whirl Wind. "Boring."

"Oh come now, Whirl," urged Dignity. "The babies will be ready to talk any day now, and I personally think Fire has the right idea of helping give them a head start."

"Well, just because they have to learn stuff doesn't mean they have to be bored," retorted Cotton, "and I know just how to help."

Cotton walked up to where Fire Spark was sitting and hip-bumped him out of his spot.

"Hey!" Fire protested.

"Okay, babies," Cotton announced. "Today, cousin Cotton is going to be teaching you all about nature."

Cotton pointed to a random tree in the garden and sang, "Do you see this tree? It is a fir tree/It's called a fir tree because it gives faux fur for coats/It also gives us wool in the wintertime."

"Wait. What?" gasped the boys.

Cotton pointed to yet another tree and continued, "This is an elm tree. It's very little/But it will grow up into a giant tree, an oak/You can tell how old it is by counting its leaves."

The babies only gurgled and giggled in response.

"Cotton, you can't tell them that," cried Fire Spark.

"And way up there, those fluffy little white things," Cotton continued, ignoring Fire Spark and pointing to the sky. "Those are clouds, they make the wind blow"

"And way down there, those tiny little black things" Cotton pointed to some ants in the grass. "Those are bugs, they make the grass grow"

"Do they now?" Dignity deadpanned, rolling his eyes. He and Whirl had realized that getting Cotton to stop was a lost cause and chose to occupy their time with a card game.

"That's right," Cotton answered, oblivious to Dignity's sarcasm. "They run around all day long, tugging and tugging at each tiny seedling until it grows into a great tall blade of grass."

"Oh, good grief!" Fire cried, facehoofing. Then, he turned to Dignity and Whirl Wind and griped, "Aren't you going to help me stop her?"

"Nope," answered Whirl, keeping his focus on the card game.

"And this thing here," Cotton sang, pulling a potted cactus out of nowhere. "It's called a cactus. They grow in wetlands/And no one seems to know just how a little thing like that gives so much water."

"D'you see that bird? It's called an eagle." Cotton motioned towards some canaries in the bird bath. "But since it's little it has another name, a sparrow/And ev'ry Hearts and Hooves Day, they lay chocolates"

"Cotton, how can you say that?!" Fire Spark practically screamed, getting very red in the face. "You're teaching them all wrong!"

"And way up there, the little stars and planets," Cotton sang as she showed the babies appropriately illustrated flashcards. "Make the rain, that falls in showers/And when it's cold and winter is upon us/The snow comes up, just like the flowers."

"Cotton, I know that's wrong," shouted Fire. "Snow doesn't come up. It comes down."

"After it comes up, the wind blows it around so it looks like it's coming down," Cotton retorted, "but actually it comes up out of the ground like grass. It comes up, Fire Spark, snow comes up!"

"Oh, good grief!"

"Hey, kids, sorry we ran a little late with work, but we're ready for lu—," Twilight greeted as she and the rest of the family went out into the garden, carrying picnic supplies. However, everypony stopped in their tracks when they got a good look at the sight before them.

"Umm, kids," began Flash, "why is Fire Spark banging his head against that tree?"

"To loosen the bark to make the tree grow faster," Cotton cheerily replied before once again bursting into song. "Clouds can make the wind blow/Bugs can make the grass grow/So, there you go/These are little known facts that now you know!"

The grownups said nothing but blinked a few times at each other and their children, utterly confused at what was going on.

"Do I even want to know what just happened?" Twilight asked no pony in particular.

Starling turned towards her mother, gave a big endearing smile, and said in a loud, clear voice, "No."

Comments

[Sapphire Rose 12]

That ending was PERFECT!