Let the child inside alive. Leave all who would slay them far behind.
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I’m John Smith, your stereotypical brony. You know the type – the life-sucks loner sequestered in his room looking at pony all day long, gaining my only joy and happiness from Friendship is Magic. I’ve been through the motions, the being dropped into Equestria, the meeting and sleeping with the Mane Six, the grand adventure, the receipt of a key to Equestria, the six pledges of unrequited love… At least, that’s what I would love to tell you. Instead, I get to tell you this.
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The infinitely rediculous adventures of the Equestrian dish-man. I found this funny, a nice unfortunately-less-than-blatant parody of the HiE genre, which I happen to dabble in and completely agree with this viewpoint, as I recieve it. Dear colleagues, stop making up excuses for your human SI/OC to get with one of the Mane Six, ninety percent of the time (I'm being generous here) it is... A. Stupid. B. Out of character. C. Stressed or forced, D. A romantic tumor. Or any combination.
not bad, not bad. I do think that you hit on an important topic of people writing stories for wish fulfillment. The concept is pretty unique, although, something I would expect out of Blueshift
This. This is the shit. Thanks for writing this!
Nice story indeed. But i wonder...how anybody can name himself a "fan of the show" forcing ponies to become servants? Damnn....
Interesting. I find the idea of a plate going on a rage filled tirade to be the funniest part of the story.
What's less funny is how correct he was.
Imprisoned without committing any crime + being understandably angry = "Okay, we gave you a chance, time for years of unparalleled mental torture."
I can imagine the next installment.
"Why is the plate tapping like that?"
"I think it's Morse code."
"What's he saying?"
"...
'Kill me.'
Over and over.
... 'Kill me.' "
I laugh way too hard for some reason.
But heck who one to get stuck in a plate for more than a year? God that must be terrible....
da fuq?
This is both funny and dark at the same time, and kind of reminds me of the song One by Metallica
I would have not freaked out and when they let me out I would just run off into the everfree forest and live there FUCK YOU BITCHES
I like HiE stories. And this one feels like the just return for all the times when the rude/violent/aggressive seems to go along so well with our favorite (peaceful) ponies, usually without the ponies having a reason to be nice to said human.
I'd rather see this particular specimen be a plate for another 5 years then risking him destroying pony society and values with just his presence...
....o.0 Normally I enjoy a good WTF story, since a lot of times they are quite funny. This, however... meh. Didn't care for it at all.
...
Y'know, a week ago I came across a crossover between MLP and a webcomic whose name escapes me--Brave, I think--and I praised the author, saying that it was the very last thing I'd ever expected.
Then I read this. Just... I... wha...? A plate? Just... why?
832784
Three words.
'Cuz I could.
I think that being trapped in a PLATE for a YEAR is pretty just cause for anger. A lot of anger.
Celestia sucks at coming up with punishments. Turning people into inanimate objects is not the way to teach them a lesson, you dumb broad.
And you wonder why Discord wants to wipe Equestria off the face of the planet.
I don't think I would let go of my anger for her or any of the ponies after being trapped for a further five years as a plate that can't even talk. In fact, I think I would spend the vast majority of it thinking of plans for a Coup d'état.
Or genocide.
I think if I was ever trapped as a plate, I would just go mad...
Here comes the servant
to make up your bed
Here comes the chopper
to chop off your head...
Chop... chop... chop... chop... chop... chop... chop... chop... chop... chop...
I would like to see a continuation of this.
1515784
Believe it or not, you may get your wish... We'll see what my mind says.
730882
743208
I'm coming up with something special based on 1238596's response.
I was expecting funny. That wasn't funny.
This story needs a 'dark' tag. And an 'evil' tag. And a 'high octane nightmare fuel' tag.
i could imagine, john going joker style crazy afterward, so it is like he says he learned his lesson then hates there guts make then feel guilty and just generally hating everypony and not wanting to do anything to them and just hate them and cause mass guilt
Two words: Surprise. Creepy.
...holy crap, that was a lot more disturbing than I ever expected it to be. I agree with the idea that a Dark tag is needed here...
Please continue this. I find it strangely addictive.
I can totally see one of two endings for this.
1. He becomes mute or too traumatized to speak.
2. He immediately offs himself after being freed from the form.
I wouldn't be surprised that if after he gets released he becomes a serial killer and tries to kill the princess and the mane six. Also, maybe he could sympathize with discord? After being trapped in stone for a much longer time and all...
This isn't your average HiE. This is a lot more... palatable. Something I can stomach. Variety is the spice of life, as they say. Gives flavor to the story.
It's too bad John couldn't take it, but he sure could dish it out! The tension was so thick, you could cut it with a knife. And then his reaction... well, back into the frying pan, right?
Okay, okay, I'll stop. It's not punny any more.
WARNING!!
Nightmares Ensue. Plain creepy.
3261967 I agree completely
Insanity ensues
730826
Easy.
Not everyone is a moralfag.
Well...
At least you put food on the table.
You had every right to be pissed bro. But...he could have tried screaming to get out of plate form. Screaming always makes you stronger.
833398 My reaction to the 'reason' they turned him into a plate:
static4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130808053835/teentitansgo/images/2/23/Robin_mad_about_the_broken_staff.png
If Celestia had the power to turn him into a dinner plate, then she could of have easily found a different way to prevent the whole 'horny school kid' scenario:
1. Locking his libido
2. Taking away his memory for a spell.
3. Locking away the knowledge of the show.
4. Locking away his so-called 'mind-control' powers.
His reaction was completely and utterly reasonable. what they did to him was cruel and unusual punishment.
But, this is all in fun, so bravo. But if he turns into the porcelain equivalent of the Sandman, I totally called it.
3597870 bu dum tish
"Instead she threw spaghetti and hay balls all over me."
"she threw spaghetti and hay balls"
"she threw spaghetti"
"spaghetti"
...
That actually describes John pretty well. Nice touch.
The language was a bit much, but I understand it adds to the emotion. Good story for the most part.