YOH 1493: Midnight Nights / Before Nightfall continuity.
Three years ago, Applejack left Sweet Apple Acres for good to live with her Orange kin. This has left Big Mac as the only young, healthy Pony able to work the farm.
The ninteeen year old stallion is strong, smart and highly-responsible, and Sweet Apple Acres could have no more capable manager. The problem is that he must also watch his youngest sister; three year old Apple Bloom, who has a tendency to wander into trouble.
Will little Apple Bloom wander into mortal peril? And, if she does, will her big brother be able to save her?
Chapters (8)
I can definitely see how you came about Apple Bloom's current attitude. Just take the reckless, heedless ringleader of the Crusaders... then work backwards. Look on the bright side, Mac. At least she can't fly.
While Applejack's absence is sorely felt right now, it's interesting to note that Granny Smith's husband seems to still be present. A small comfort, but still a comfort.
I wasn't sure how to feel about the concept behind this story, but now that I'm seeing it in action, I'm quite enjoying it. Looking forward to more.
The dock is the part of a horse's tail which contains actual bones, muscles and skin. The skirt is the big brush of hair that extends much further.
Huh, so the hairy part of the horse tail has a name of its own? I knew about the dock, but not the skirt. Of course anyone who saw the "Big Brother Social" knows that Mac can handle a skirt.
And great opening to the story! Hopefully the brave and foolish Applebloom will learn her lesson soon and start hanging around the farmhouse. Maybe they could get a leash for her.
Huh, so Mac's parents are dead at this point (I assume), but Grandpa Apple is still kicking? Have you decided what became of AJ, Mac, and 'Bloom's parents in this universe?
And I am looking forward to seeing what else besides AJ's absence makes this universe different from the main one.
The phrase "Whitey hill trash" seems to ring a bell, but I can't quite place it?
What would happen to Sweet Apple Acres, in this universe? At the moment, of course, Granny Smith still owns it. By tradition, it'd go to Applejack upon her death - but with Applejack gone fancy in Manehattan, would Granny decide to buck tradition and give it to the stallion on the spot? (Disregarding, of course, what's actually going to happen in this AU which makes me grin at Big Mac's marriage expectations...)
6933952
"Whitey" refers to the Ponies who live in the back country of the White Tail Hills in my world.
It would probably be left to Apple Bloom, with Big Mac running the farm for her formally until her majority (18-21, depending on the province and the sphere of activity). Big Mac could be trusted to run it honestly in her interests, too, given the sort of stallion he is and the fact that he loves her.
6933301
Yes, but not for much longer. He's already near the end of his life. Of course, his family doesn't know exactly how long he'll live; they just know he probably won't live more than a few years.
This is going to be a rather short story, but there's going to be at least one more element in it which you'll see is different.
6933260
Exactly. It's worse in this AU because Apple Bloom doesn't really have a mother-figure to steady her; only a father-figure, Big Mac, and she can twist Big Mac around her hoof. He has a huge soft spot for her, made more extreme by the fact that he misses Applejack.
Big Mac is glad that there's nopony else as reckless and stubborn as Bloomie. He doesn't yet know that Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo even exist. Nor does Apple Bloom yet, really, save as other foals she sometimes sees in the background.
6934000 Ah yes, I forgot she's also a possibility. That's assuming she manages to outlive Granny Smith, of course... and given what we've seen so far, that's not to be taken for granted
...
Great. Super. Cheerilee is MORE than meets the eye.
I now want to hear about that long-ago love triangle. Of course, I'm a sucker for stories about young Granny Smith. She might not have saved the world, but she still led a full and fascinating life.
... And then I reached the part about the anti-monster organization. I stand corrected.
Oh my. Yeah, coming out of an encounter with the Color Out of Space with only bone cancer is getting off relatively light. Its effects are probably even more disturbing in a species as bright and vibrant as ponies.
Yes, I definitely want to hear about the earlier exploits of Greenie and Blackie. No wonder their grandchildren have such strength of will.
As for the chapter itself... well, the chapter title says it all, really. Mac must take on his grandfather's mantle. At least he's facing something mundane.
6942334
I have thought a lot about Granny Smith's history. I like the IDW canon that she was so beautiful that many stallions wanted her. And I like the idea of giving her (and Blackie, and Strudel, and Rose, and a bunch of others in their and the next generation) exciting adventures.
I don't think Bloom comes off "bad". She's a kid. The cold logic of dealing with dangerous wild animals is difficult even for many adults to accept.
There's something oddly hilarious in mentioning the fires in which something was forged... then mentioning the company that currently owns that foundry.
In any case, very nice moment with the hero receiving his legendary weapon and the support of his loved ones before going out to confront the monster. Excellent mythic tone. Now you have me wondering just how much is going to go wrong, and in what way.
Well, they can't in the SWSV. In other timelines...
6950726
I like Ol'Bessie so much that I have the very strong urge to write her into a story in the mainline SWSV as well. After all, the POD between the two timelines is YOH 1490, while Ol'Bessie was made sometime in the early 15th century, probably between YOH 1415 and YOH 1430.
Also, I just like the idea of a high-tech titanium-chromium-steel, repeating heavy crossbow. An enchanted one, at that. Though mostly only in terms of making it possible to make to higher tolerances.
I've seen various designs for repeating arbalests and other sorts of repeating crossbows. I haven't studied the issue enough to know which design would work well for the attributes I gave Bessie -- heavy arbalest, three-shot, very strong metal frame and scope-sighted. Bessie is obviously meant as a sniping weapon, though unlike most sniping weapons she's a repeater -- that's because when monster-hunting at arbalest ranges, you don't want to have to waste time reloading!
The main advantages of Bessie over a light cannon, such as a swivel-gun, is the "repeating" part (Equestria doesn't get advanced actions until after Luna's return) and the flexibility of load -- Bessie can launch warheads that would not work well fired from a cannon at Equestrian levels of technology.
pirates.hegewisch.net/swivelgun.jpg
This is a swivel gun. They were normally mounted high on ships or fortresses and loaded with grapeshot. They were anti-personnel devices. They were also far less accurate at range than crossbows, but given their purpose (defense against boarders) and load (a spray of grapeshot) they didn't actually need to be very accurate.
6950726
Oh, and I think there are enchanted guns in vanilla canon Equestria. Obvious one is Pinkie's party cannon, or cannons.
Ah, another ripple. Applejack is still in Manehattan, so Landscape never left on a quest to impress her. (If I'm remembering that bit correctly, at least.) This would be worrisome if this timeline didn't have far worse things than changelings to worry about.
Meanwhile, there's definitely going to be some kind of regrettable misunderstanding coming up. I'm just not sure how many creatures are going to hurt, or how badly...
6955821
Landscape wouldn't have left on his quest yet anyway -- he does that five years later. But he's very unlikely to do so now -- if he quests anywhere, it's liable to be to Manehattan.
And yes, they will have worse problems than Changelings.
Mac certainly is framing the situation in his narration as pretty heroic, I wonder how long that will last after he meets Fluttershy. I can't imagine her going along with it and thought she's shy, she's no pushover about this topic. I don't think Mac's got a chance of actually firing that huge crossbow-on-steroids. Fluttershy will save Harry (or Harry Sr, not sure about bear lifespans) from his well intentioned hunt. But then again, I like being surprised and this is an alternate universe. Things will go wrong soon enough.
6955884
Ah, you've seen the way things are going here.
Big Mac is actually being both brave and reasonable. Remember, he doesn't know Fluttershy. He doesn't even know her name. He's spotted her at a distance a couple of times, he knows she's a strange young filly who avoids other Ponies and hangs out with small animals. There's nothing in this to imply that she's at all safe, or doing something at all safe to others, by hanging out with an adult brown bear.
It's not at all safe, unless the brown bear loves you and you are good enough at communicating with it that you need not worry about missing the warning sings of it being about to lash out, and can warn it about how it must deal with others of your kind. In fact, Fluttershy (and Harry) obviously screwed up, or the whole initial confrontation with Big Mac wouldn't have happened in the first place.
But then, right now Fluttershy is only 12-13 years old, and she's only come into her Talent recently. The Rainboom never happened; her Talent emerged when she fled to the ground, at age 12, for another reason (fleeing her uncle Windvane's house after her cousin Ill Wind tried to rape her). She hasn't mastered the nuances of animal handling yet, and she also doesn't yet know anything about her true paternal origins. (She does know that she has some freaky powers, though).
Big Mac actually overestimates her age because of her tall build and her already-apparent feminine beauty. Though he's not overestimating it that much -- he thinks "younger teen."
6955928 I wonder how getting her cutie mark so late affected Fluttershy's self-image. It mustn't have been anything good.
At least Rainbow Dash was around... I assume? I can't remember where she was when in your timeline, or how things might've changed from her not doing a Sonic Rainboom so young.
Let me guess, this is Harry The Bear.
6957118
Alternate version, yes. Not as good at understanding Ponies as our Harry, because he hasn't known them as long.
I'm liking the fic so far, but am I supposed to know what the comments are talking about? Apparently this is an AU of an AU?
6958378
It's the SWSV version of the "Nightmare Moon Triumphant" alternate world created by Starlight Glimmer in Cutie Re-Marked.
swsv?
6958678
SWSV = "Shadow Wars Story Verse," my term for the continuity in which my MLP fanfics are set.
OMGoodness he's hunting fluttershy bear or future bear... point is this is a sudden interesting twist.
I am liking the way this story is going.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/8c/95/8d/8c958dc7dc57ffa138a4630ea551ed4f.jpg
I'm a bit surprised Mackie has a term for the Stare. Makes me wonder if other ponies with changeling blood are prone to being called mind-witches. Now I'm really interested for the next chapter and a little more internal monologue from our red narrator.
6981270
Well,you know, given Changeling habits, Fluttershy is almost certainly neither the first, nor the only, half-Changeling Pony living in the Equestrian culture. The Stare is a high-caste ability, but then it's mostly the high-caste Changelings (Royals and Infiltrators) who spend much time outside the Hive, anyway.
I do like your insight into Angel Bunny in the previous chapter's author's note. Of course, he doesn't seem like the kind who'd announce "Be not afraid" when he appeared, largely because his appearance signals that you may want to be afraid.
It's good to see that they were able to resolve this peacefully... but the story's still incomplete. Grannie and Blackie may not take kindly to the psychic filly who put the whammy on their grandson. This could get a lot worse before it gets...
Well, given the nature of the timeline, it's definitely going to get worse before it ever gets better in the long term, but even in the short term, this misunderstanding may yet worsen.
I feel kind of torn about what you did with Blackie here. Not that the writing is bad, not at all, but bone cancer is how my father went. Worst of all, we didn't even know until a month before the end, because our mother had cancer too and eh covered it up so we'd take care of her. Hmm, Blackie is a blacksmith, and my father was a steel-worker. Lot of coincidences there...
I like the reference to "the color"; makes me wonder if the old stallion went through the same events as the character in the original story.
And for a 'masterwork', I thought that was reserved for people (or ponies) who worked for a guild? Or did blacksmiths have their own guild in Equestria?
6991210
I actually got the idea from your My Little Balladeer. Though this is of course a different worldline in many ways, one of which being that Applejack doesn't witness her grandfather's decline firsthand.
I did not consciously remember while I was writing this that your dad was a steelworker, but of course you told me about it -- in detail. I did want to show the way in which the old blacksmithing techniques and the later steelworking techniques were a continuum of change, which is of course what really happened -- first you had old-style blacksmiths, then ironmasters, and eventually what we now think of as the steel industry, after the invention of things like the Bessemer Process and electrically-heated and electrolysis-based systems. You probably know far more about this than I do, growing up where you did with the relatives you had!
My Little Balladeer was what got me thinking about Granny Smith's husband in the first place. Obviously she had one, and obviously he must have been somepony fairly special. Eventually I came up with my current concept of Black Smith Apple (he took "Apple," she took "Smith" in an act of deliberate social non-conformity to express their love) as a master blacksmith, metallurgist and former Night Watch agent -- a classic Old Master Mentor type, unfortunately Doomed by Canon to suffer the usual Mentor Occupational Hazard.
In this worldline, of course, he's even more Big Mac's role model than he was in the main worldline, because he had more of Big Mac's attention.
I liked the reference to Ink Well, and to the famous Siege of Canterlot (and why haven't we seen anyone writing about that?). The amount of detail on both the armor and Ol' Bessie is well done too. I suppose if she an be compared to anything in our world, then maybe she can be compared to those Chinese repeating crossbows that were loaded and fired by cranking the level on them.
The response you made to FOME about Bessie makes me wonder if she could also be compared to a Nock Gun --- a seven-barreled flintlock made for naval warfare and boarding parties that required a giant of a man to use, since all seven barrels would fire all at once.
6991245
Inspired in part by the White Lotus Society from Avatar: The Last Airbender, I rather like the idea of a lot of the really old characters having at one point been allied adventurers serving the Realm in the Night Watch. My proposed group so far includes Black Smith Apple, Greenie Smith Apple, Apfel Strudel, Ink Well and Goldie Pie -- I'm sure I'll think of others if I ever write stories focused on them.
I'm assuming a (magically-enhanced) regenerative mechanical system storing enough energy for three shots, with some sort of winding required after that. Ol' Bessie is a heavy Pony-portable weapon, intended for shooting at really serious threats; somepony expecting to encounter a horde of smaller threats would probably use something else, or one of the bolts that has an area effect (like the explosive ones). I don't think that the wielder, even Big Mac or Blackie in his prime, could take the recoil if all three bolts were fired simultaneously, but one at a time with a second or so rechambering (re-laying?), sure. No way would Bessie have a ROF as good as a smaller crossbow of comparably good design and materials.
Apfel Strudel has an even more powerful one-shot arbalest, which he calls "Armored Fist" -- in his native Lippanzer Germane, of course, that's "Panzerfaust." Yes, I know about the WWII German precursor to the LAW
Apfel, of course, is the Pony more commonly referred to as "Apple Strudel" -- after many decades in Equestria, he of course speaks fluent Equestrian, and he's married to Rose Apple (Granny's favorite first cousin from "Family Appreciation Day" and the Apple Family Reunion), so he thinks of himself as an "Apple" anyway. He and Rose are two more of the Apples who demonstrate the incredible longevity of a fortunate Earth Pony.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to use Ol 'Bessie and Panzerfaust in something else I write, eventually.
6991242 I actually got the idea from your My Little Balladeer. Though this is of course a different worldline in many ways, one of which being that Applejack doesn't witness her grandfather's decline firsthand.
Thank you. I am genuinely flattered by the idea that I influenced your work like this.
I did not consciously remember while I was writing this that your dad was a steelworker, but of course you told me about it -- in detail. I did want to show the way in which the old blacksmithing techniques and the later steelworking techniques were a continuum of change, which is of course what really happened -- first you had old-style blacksmiths, then ironmasters, and eventually what we now think of as the steel industry, after the invention of things like the Bessemer Process and electrically-heated and electrolysis-based systems. You probably know far more about this than I do, growing up where you did with the relatives you had!
Well, yeah, for kids of a certain age in and around the Coal and Iron region of Pennsylvania, you learned about stuff like this if only by overhearing the adults. Of course it's pretty much all gone now. Hopefully Equestria doesn't end up with that problem too -- though given what will happen in this world, that may be one of the better things that could happen. At least there would be a world left afterwards.
Ya know with all of the talk of AU, it doesn't really seem like it. You could just as easily place it in before Nightmares are Tragic but after Collateral Damage. It makes sense and it provides an easy glimpse into what Mackie and Bloomie were doing while Jackie was off trying to find herself. But it is your story so you can tell it how you want.
This was a wonderful story. I hope we see more of 'this' Equestria and of how the ponies acted before and after the Nightmare usurped power.
6996615
It's only 3 years after the POD: the divergences are still subtle. Mainly
(1) Without AJ to help him, Mackie has to work even harder and is more socially-isolated.
(2) Without AJ to help him, Mackie is much more socially-focused on his grandparents.
(3) Without AJ to co-parent, Bloomie is growing up wilder (and soon will become closer to Landscape who will baby-sit for her).
(4) Fluttershy has been slower to realize her Talents, so she's not as good at using them wisely as she was at 12-13 in OTL.
(5) In the main worldline, AJ helped watch Bloomie, and Fluttershy anticipated the whole problem with Harry so the precipitating incident never hapened.
(6) Fluttershy is more socially isolated because she never became as close to Rainbow Dash and consequently is shyer around Rarity.
These differences, mostly due to the absence of Applejack but also due to weaker bonds connecting Fluttershy to other Ponies (she right now has no real Pony friends) are going to mean more and more as time goes on.
Well, the after-action report went much better than I feared it might. Still, the happy ending doesn't feel like one given what's on the horizon. After all, the implication in the other timelines is that someone managed to stop at least one of the major villains. In this one, no one ever stepped forward. Equestria fell with the first swing. I'm glad you're enjoying this worldline, but that foreknowledge leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Still, an enjoyable story of small-scale adventure, hinting about great things to come and great things that came. Thank you for it.
Kudos on your story.
I had fun with the first chapter.
6933301
There's actually a story I'm working on about the death of the parents of the Sweet Apple Acres Siblings. Basically, I've gone with a version of them I liked from a Deviantart comic, where they are Melanie Rose Apple (female, and the one with the hat) and Tangelo Orange (male, Moseley Orange's brother) -- and they die saving a very young Rarity Belle from falling into a gorge. This will probably become fanon to both the main SWSV and the Moonlight NIghts one, as it happens before Twilight and Starlight's Tempus Fugue battle at Cloudsdale in 1490 (earlier the same year).
6933952
Big Mac is very much not expecting to be courted by a half-crazed Nightmare Queen, that's true. Nor to find-himself capable of loving her back.
6996960
Well ... Nightmare Moon actually does her best to try to rule Equestria well. Thing is, she's half-crazy. Big Mac winds up being one of the major good influences on her, in addition to fighting directly against various forms of evil (and some not-so-evil) foes serving in her Guards. Yes, Bessie's likely to see some real action in his hooves.
Did Fluttershy notice Big Mac was clothed in dead animal skin (leather) or is leather common enough that it's not as grotesque as it seems in a world with talking cows?
7001044
Leather's not all that strange though it's less common than in our world. Normally, leather clothing would be made from the hides of non-sapient beings. This might bother Fluttershy if she had time to think about it (as she loves pretty much all tetrapods), but she was kind of busy saving Harry at that moment. When she sees him again, he'll probably be nude save for his horse collar, which is mostly wooden.
The horse collar he wears is both the attachment point for the various loads Mackie pulls, and originally a training device -- he would when younger wear it even when not pulling anything, just to get his body accustomed to the object (and build the necessary calluses so that he could pull real loads without causing himself pain). He fell into the habit of wearing it almost constantly.
This is seen as mildly sexy by mares, because the fact that he can wear that thing without complaint emphasizes that he is a very big and strong stallion. Think of it as the equivalent of a very muscular man tending to wear training weights on his wrists even when not in training. Sex appeal is not Big Mac's intent here: he knows that mares often find him attractive, but he doesn't actually do much to intentionally attract them (which of course makes him all the more attractive to them).
Big Mac's own sexual attitudes are rather conservative, though he's not entirely pure by his own standards -- I hint that he had some sort of sexual encounters with a couple of mares whom he did not love, given that he's ashamed of having done so. One thing Mackie would not do is trifle with any mare whom he considered an innocent or whom he greatly respected -- which means he wouldn't do this with a mare matching this description unless he loved her.
He tends to be kind, polite and (given half a chance) protective toward females, especially younger ones. (He's pretty nice toward most males, too). This is noticed, and adds to his popularity, though popularity isn't his motivation. This is just Mackie's personality.
His attitude toward Fluttershy, by the end of the story, is a mixture of awe at and slight fear of her power, and protectiveness because -- aside from her power -- she's just a shy and lonely filly in her early teens. Fluttershy's attitude toward him at that point is anypony's guess, but when she sees that he doesn't hunt Harry, she'll probably regard him as a basically nice stallion, and one toward whom she can extend some trust.
So far I like the way you're fleshing out Big Mac as a character, and adding the grandpa is something I haven't seen in Apple family fics before. It makes sense that he would've been around when the siblings were younger. You also seem to have done your research with the bear and equine anatomy. The writing style is good overall, but you tend to overuse italics to emphasize words. It makes me feel like I'm reading a comic, and I don't mean that in a good way. I personally use italics sparingly to indicate surprise, or when I really want to stress the importance of something. Thoughts and lyrics are a different matter, of course.
This is the first fanfic of yours that I've read, and I'm curious about the years that begin the summaries of nearly all your stories. Are they all part of the same continuity? That might be helpful for longtime followers of your stories, but it makes it hard for a newcomer to jump into, especially since I don't know your headcanon timeline. Most fans use the founding of Equestria to base the years on, but that doesn't necessarily mean you've done the same.
Anyway, I'll keep reading, because I love me some Big Mac.
I actually like Angel in this fanfic. He might not be such a horrible bunny; it's just hard for me to get past “Putting Your Hoof Down” even after all these seasons.
It was fascinating to read what it feels like to be on the receiving end of Fluttershy's Stare. Not a pleasant experience, to be sure.
I gathered from the comments that this is a version of what happened in Ponyville leading up to the “Nightmare Moon Triumphant” timeline in Cutie Re-mark. It makes sense in that context.
I always thought that the Stare simply made a pony realize what he did wrong, not that it physically paralyzed him. But I'll go along with it for this story.
And like Catalysts Cradle said, did Fluttershy notice that Big Mac was wearing leather? I can accept that they'd use the skin of animals that died of natural causes, but I don't think leather is common in Equestria.
Anyway, it would be a good idea for Mac to warn the other ponies of Ponyville that there is a semi-tame bear living at the outskirts of town, to prevent an unfortunate misunderstanding in the future.
Oh, and I forgot to comment on this line in the previous chapter:
I've seen Applejack in action – and Rainbow Dash, and even Granny Smith in her heyday. I don't think they need a stallion to protect them.
7275281
I figure anypony capable of winning Greenie's love and being the grandfather of the Sweet Apple Acres Siblings must have been pretty awesome. I may someday write something about him in his prime.
I use italics for thoughts, and italics and counter-italics (within thoughts) for emphasis. I may over-use them.
It's all part of the Shadow Wars Story Verse, though this is set in an alterate worldline, the Moonlight Nights one, which is one of the alternates created by Starlight Glimmer's meddling with the timestream in The Cutie Re-Mark.
"YOH" is "Year of Harmony," which dates from the defeat of Discord, 1500 years before the Return of Luna.
Angel loves and is loyal to Fluttershy; in the SWSV he was actually sent by the Cosmic Concepts to aid her. He's just a very, very, very dominant sort of creature. He actually leads the other animals, including Harry.
It is not as common as in our world. The usual sources are the great lizards of such places as Silverland in South Amareica, but some hunt non-sapient animals and make it from their skins.
Mackie himself is 19 here, Applejack is a 15 year old living in Manehattan, and Apple Bloom is 3 years old. Big Mac is an idealistic teenager who is trying to be the stallion of his family because Blackie is getting too sick for the role. Big Mac doesn't really think that mares are helpless, he just thinks that stallions should protect them. From real danger, not minor annoyances. The mares of the Apple Clan are perfectly competent, and he knows it.
So I guess Fluttershy is half changeling and at least one of your fanfics delves into this more. It makes it harder to read this as a stand-alone fic, but I'm still glad I read it. Based on the cover art and summary, I expected it to focus more on Big Mac bonding with Toddler Bloom, but instead it was more about the lengths he would go to protect his family. Still, I appreciate how you brought depth to his character.