The Rainbow Dash Trial

by Nexas

Witness 3

If Luna had boots than she would have been shaking in them.

"I...I do your honor." She stammered. "I still have my star witness: Pinkie Pie."

Trixie facehoofed. "Oh my, this should be good."

The group waited for the witness to walk in when suddenly the doors to the court burst open, sending the doors flying off their hinges and a pink earth Pony walked in. Her pink mane highlighting her blue eyes.

"The star of the show has arrived!" She loudly declared landing in the aisle and striking a pose. She stopped and looked back at the door she had broken. "Somepony might want to fix that."

Spike stared at Luna in deep confusion. "Why would you call her in? She has nothing to do with me."

Luna looked like she was about to answer but scrunched her face in confusion. "I... have no idea."

"Doctor!" The pink mare cried, jumping through the air and embracing the bailiff. "I haven't seen you since that time you took me to the planet Varos!" Her smile drooped. "What happened to your colorful outfit?"

"A proper sense of fashion happened, Pinkie." He remarked looking down at the police uniform that he had swiped for the occasion and shuddered at the thought of that rainbow coat. "Never again..." He muttered.

Pinkie took the vow and sat in the witness chair.

"Hello Twilight's friend." The great and honorable Trixie said to the pink mare.

"Hello, 'pony I've never seen before'." Pinkie responded, happily smiling at the unicorn.

Trixie was aghast. "You do not know who I am?!"

Pinkie shook her head honestly. "Nope, I wasn't in that episode."

Trixie opened her mouth to retort but couldn't think of anything to say so she just sat down.

The Doctor chuckled. "Pinkie Pie, always with the fourth wall breaking."

Luna stepped out of her chair and went over to Pinkie.

"Hi miss Princess of the night!" Pinkie waved to Luna.

"Hello Miss Pie." Luna tried to think of something more to say but was at a loss. "Do...do you know why you're here Miss Pie?"

"Yuppers! I'm here because some guy likes a children's cartoon show and decided to write a funny story about it!"

Pinkie just smiled at the lunar Princess who was at a loss for words. She looked up at the judge who was equally confused.

"What is she talking about?" Luna asked nearly in hysterics.

Trixie simply shrugged. "How should Trixie know?"

Luna sighed and turned her attention back to Pinkie.

"Miss Pie, what do you think of Spike?"

"The dragon? I think he's nice but I don't usually see him during these stories."

She tried to ignore Pinkie's randomness. "Well he has been promised Rainbow Dash's position on your team."

"You mean like a Pinkie promise?" She inquired.

"Um, yes, whatever that is."

"Well Spike can't be the Element of Loyalty." She explained. "He's Twilight's plucky young assistant."

Luna massaged her temple with a hoof; this was getting difficult to stand. "Miss Pie, please just answer the question."

Pinkie didn't stop. "Plus Spike is a comic relief character and Dashie is all 'I'm twenty percent cooler' and stuff like that."

She peered over Luna's shoulder and waved at her friend. "Isn't that right, Rainbow Dash?"

"Hello Pinkie." Dash barely responded not taking her eyes off of her video game.

"Hi (hic) Pinkie!" Twilight waved frantically.

"Hi drunken!Twilight!" Pinkie waved back.

"Enough of this!" Luna reached up and pulled Pinkie back into her seat. "I will have no more of this nonsense!"

Pinkie seemed a little hurt at this outburst. "What's wrong with nonsense?"

"This is a courtroom!" Luna insisted. "This is no place for nonsense!"

Trixie cleared her throat. "Do you remember why we are here, Miss Princess-of-the-night?"

Luna considered what Trixie had said but waved it off. "It doesn't matter. She is trying my patience!"

Pinkie was a little indigent about Luna's words. "I just don't think that the canon of the show should be messed with is all."

"Stop saying things like that!" Luna bellowed. "Stop being so weird!"

Pinkie froze; her eyes wide in shock. "...Weird?"

"Now you've done it." Luna could hear Spike saying.

Luna quickly realized what she had done. "No, wait I didn't-"

"You think I'm weird!" Pinkie's eyes had started to fill up with tears at this point and to Luna's surprise her mane seemed to have deflated.

"No! Pinkie!" Luna tried to reason with her. "I didn't mean it!"

But it was too late. Pinkie had already started crying.

***

Trixie sat back in her chair, adjusting her magician's hat as well as the two-thirds of what was left of her wig.

"So, to recap." She began. "Your first witness tried to kill you, your second witness turned against you and your third witness just ran out of the room crying and calling you a 'meanie face'."

She slowly nodded to herself and stood up. "Wow! Approach the bench, the both of you!"

Spike and Luna tentatively got up from their chairs and walked to the front of the judge's seat. Trixie peered down at both of them.

"YOU'RE BOTH IDIOTS!" She screamed at them but regained her composure. "Now go away."

The two went back to their seats, Luna slumping over in hers.

"Oi! Luna!" Twilight slurred, levitating her seat to poke Luna with. "You fail! Fail!"

Trixie adjusted her cape and hat once more. "Okay, Twiley? Is their somepony you would like to question?"

Rainbow Dash shook her head. "No your honor, we just want this case to be over wi-"

Twilight jumped onto the table in a sudden burst of coordination.

"I CALL MY CLIENT, RAINBOW DASH, TO THE STAND!" She pointed at her client drunkenly.

"How much 'tea' did you have?!" Dash stared at her exasperatedly.

Comments

[Shadow Scryer]

... And this might be Luna's first defeat? Either this is her first time or every other opposition she's been up against can't have had more than two brain cells between them.

Curious to see if it's allowed to continue or if Dashie actually defends her self. Should be interesting if she does.

[Red Bomber]

Well that really was random it's like PInkie just forced herself to appear in this short story.