• Published 12th Jun 2012
  • 1,944 Views, 45 Comments

The Rainbow Dash Trial - Nexas

Spike and RD go to court for RD's ... everything. Hijinxs ensue

  • ...

Witness 2

"For my next witness, I call Rarity to the stand." Luna said.

"That's good." Spike gave her thumbs up. "Rarity will vouch for me."

Rarity the unicorn entered the courtroom wearing an absolutely massive hat; it must have been as tall as her.

As she walked down the aisle, she started too wobbled under the weight of her giant hat but with the soft white glow of her magic she was able to stay upright.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?" The bailiff chuckled. "I have always wanted to say that.

"Yes." Rarity politely answered. "Um, this is sort of out of context but; do you like my hat?"

The Doctor-I mean Bailiff nodded his head vigorously. "Oh yes, I know I'd certainly like a hat that cool. Like a Stetson or a fez..."

He continued mumbling about possible hats while Rarity sat down.

"Hello, Trixie." Rarity growled, glaring at the unicorn that turned her hair green.

"Hello, Twilight's friend." Trixie didn't even remember who she was.

"I see you're still wearing that dusty old rag you call a hat." Rarity insulted the judge/magician.

"So I am." She admitted. "But at least I'm not compensating for something."

"OOOOOOOOhhh!" Twilight drunkenly called. "Hey Rarity! Do you want some Aloe Vera?" She asked. "Because you (hic) just got burned!"

Rarity sank in her seat, the heat from her face was about to set her massive hat on fire. Luna got up and approached the stand.

"So Rarity, is it true that Spike is the most loyal creature you know?" Luna asked.

"Well I would have to say yes, he always helps me weather I need help or not. My little Spikey wikey is always there."

As she talked she nodded her head up and down, slamming her hat on Luna repeatedly. Every time it hit Luna, her head made a squeaking noise.

Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Trixie and Luna snickered. "Spikey wikey?"

Luna cleared her throat, trotting back to her seat triumphantly. "No further questions your honor."

"Cross examine?" Twilight slightly raised a hoof.

"Go ahead." Trixie acknowledged.

Twilight drunkenly shoved herself out of her chair and staggered over to Rarity.

"Hey Rarity." She slurred. "I like your new hat, what is it? Your old couch?"

Rarity was about to answer when she realized what she had said.

"Twilight? Are you...drunk" Rarity asked hesitantly.

"No. (hic) why?"

The two share a long moment of silence staring at each other.

"What was I doing again?" She slurred, "Oh yeah, cross examine. Rarity do you know (hic) what this case is about?"

Rarity blinked. "Isn't it about a crime Spike didn't commit?"

The two unicorns started whispering while Luna and Spike tried to listen in.

"What did you tell her?" He hesitantly asked his lawyer.

Luna adopted the biggest grin she could. "Not something completely different from what is really happening is that's what you're asking."


Spike facepalmed and was tackled by Rarity.

"Spikey!" Rarity whined, her voice like a kitten sliding down a chalkboard. "You don't want to be an Element! It's too dangerous!"

Spike couldn't reply, he was being choked by her squeezing hug.

"Excuse me?" Trixie spoke up. "Can you stop strangling the case subject?"

"You!" Rarity growled. "You're trying to get Spike killed! And give him Dash's horrible color scheme!"

"Hey!" Dash yelled indignantly.

Before Trixie could say 'what' Rarity pounced at her.



Trixie eased slowly back into her chair. It had taken a while but they had finally gotten Rarity to leave. Not before Rarity had given The Great and Powerful Trixie injuries.

Her cape had a few holes in it, her hat had more than a few tears that would have to be mended even her curly judges wig had a chunk bit off.

"Trixie thought that you were a doctor!" She shouted at the bailiff.

"I am!" He said indifferently. "Just not that kind of a doctor."

She sighed, looking over to the case subjects.

Rainbow Dash sat quietly in her chair, still thinking that this is insane. Twilight sat next to her chattering noscensically about the history of beer. Luna sat sullenly in her seat with her head on the table, she was despairing about her almost certain loss.

Spike was slamming his face into the table.


"Okay moon Princess." Trixie sighed. "I hope you can top that witness."

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