Canterlot High Chronicles

by Shadowsnake89

Story Time with Zecora

Come close children,and I'll tell you a tale,
of two klutzy fellows known to constantly fail.
Always making things more complex than they should,
these two went by the names, Thugsy and Hood.

The duo needed money in order to pay their rent,
but as their luck would have it, they had not one red cent.
So when life was getting hard and had them in a pinch,
they found themselves employed by a woman named Cinch.

A principal by trade, is what she proved to be.
So bossing people around came to her naturally.
Their job was simple: Spy until the time is right.
The assigned target? A girl named Twilight.

Cinch, never flinching, filled their hearts with fear.
“I want you to monitor the girl,” she said. “Is that clear?”
“Don't worry,” Thugsy said. “we're professionals to the core.”
Hood then asked, “But what exactly are we looking for?”

While the two hung on intently to every word,
across town Pinkie Pie was the only voice heard.
“A sleep over at Twilight's!” She screamed excitedly.
Though Rarity complained, “Do you have to say it so loudly?”

“I'm sorry, I'm just super excited for Twilight's party.
Me, AJ, Sunset, Flutters, Dash, and you Rarity.
Though it's sad that the Dazzlings will miss out,
since they went with Aria to her tournament bout.”

“Uh Pinkie, why are you rhyming?” Was Sunset's question,
curious why her friends speech pattern had gone that direction.
“Sorry girls I'm just following the narrator's example.”
Pinkie Pie said, her friends' confusion now made quite ample.

Later that day the group meet at Twilight's abode,
the ride not long, only a bus ride down the road.
“Glad you all could come.” the girl said with a smile,
unaware they were being watched all the while.

The two crooks sat quietly in the front of their van,
Thugsy with a pair of binoculars in his hand.
As he looks through the lenses at the group,
the Pink haired girl turned as if noticing the snoop.

They quickly ducked down as the girl's gaze never strayed,
only to head into the house, the two men most dismayed.
“Do you think she saw us?” Hood asked to be sure.
“Don't know.” Thugsy said as Pinkie went in and shut the door.

Later that night the sleep over was in full swing,
as the girls did everything, from eating to sing.
Lucky for them Twilight's family was out for the night,
and as long as nothing was broken, things would be alright.

The group played all sorts of games as the night went on,
but Pinkie Pie could sense that something was quite wrong.
She excused herself from the games that they played,
and decided to remain safe, a plan must be made.

For the van parked down the street was their for a purpose,
and it's reason was more than what was present on the surface.
Pinkie knew full well something was up with the two men,
saying to herself, “Nobody delivers floral arrangements past ten.”

Back outside Hood was bored as the quiet caused his mind to wander,
all the while the more intellectual of the two continued to ponder.
“You think she was serious about magic?” Thugsy decided to speak.
“Don't know,” Hood said. “but it'd definitely be a step up from last week.”

As the duo conversed about the misfortunes of their past,
Hood's phone rings, Cinch giving them instructions at last.
The Crystal Prep head instructed them to sneak inside,
and find out if any magical secrets there in did reside.

They moved out, clad in black from head to toe,
moving about stealthily so nobody would know.
They cut the phone lines, taking the cops out of play,
because neither felt like going to jail that day.

The backdoor lock was picked with a little effort,
and thanks to Hood's skill it was a simple pin insert.
Now the two had access to search the house in full,
but on the way in a tripwire Thugsy's foot did pull.

A trigger was set as a bucket poured it's contents down,
a brick upon Hood's foot that caused him to frown.
He ran outside in a hurry and looked around,
to find a place where no one would hear a loud sound.

Dashing over to the van he jumped into the back,
closing the doors to release a loud scream from the attack.
The vehicle shook and shuddered as he continued to yell,
as his friend stood by to make certain all was well.

Hood shouted and cursed as the simple plan went south,
Thugsy exclaiming, “You kiss your mother with that mouth?”
Hood, rubbing his foot now swelled and with a blister,
responded with a smile, “No, but I kissed your sister.”

A displeased look on Thugsy's face soon changed to a grin,
the two men chuckled, now ready to continue the break in.
They entered the doorway, making sure to watch their feet,
vowing that this simple job would not end in another defeat.

Stepping over the wire, they easily cleared the trap,
only for Thugsy to feel a quick and painful snap.
With the mouse catching device placed firmly on his toe,
he dashed outside and back to the van he did go.

Hood continued onward as his friend fell back,
he moved his foot over a single thumbtack.
Kicking it away he reached for the light switch,
hoping the rest of the job went off without a hitch.

He was shocked to find this simple task now very hard,
finding his hand might have been permanently scarred.
Tacks sticking in his palm and fingers from every angle,
whoever did this Hood most certainly wanted to strangle.

Holding back the pain he made his way hurriedly outside,
passed his friend and hoping in the back of their ride.
He screamed and he panicked, pulling the sharp items out,
wrapping his hand thinking there had to be a safer rout.

Again and again, the two attempted their advance,
only to be run out like a child by the seat of his pants.
They were shocked, burned, they got bitten by a dog,
had paint poured on them and knocked down by a log.

By the time the dawn had come the duo had quit on the seat,
wanting no more punishment and accepting another defeat.
“Well this turned out about as horrible as I could imagine.”
Thugsy said dryly, much to his battered friends chagrin.

None the wiser of the night's hilarious events,
Twilight and her friends were trying to make cents,
of the two oddball men who stood at her front door,
all except for Pinkie, whose smile grew more and more.

The home owner befuddled as the two apologized,
wanted to ask a question but no words could arise.
She spoke to the crooks, who looked like Swiss cheese,
“It's alright, but could you fix the damage please?”

To the best of their ability they fixed what they could,
and leaving the group the two rightly understood,
the girl's traps had really burst their money making bubble,
Thugsy stating, “That Pink one's nothing but trouble.”

So what happened to the two dummies you ask,
who seemed to fumble even the simplest task?
Well after the fiasco they got jobs at the local rodeo,
where constantly screwing up just meant the status quo.

All in all everyone turned out fine, if not a bit unnerved,
with the exception of Cinch, who got nothing as she deserved.
Well that's the tale I tell and I hope you enjoyed it so,
and if you wish to meet these two tonight's there debut show.

Comments

[SonicFan117DASH]

How’d you manage to make all that rhyme flawlessly?!

[Shadowsnake89]

8675636
With a lot of difficulty. I think this chapter was one of the top five I had to really work on, but I'm glad it turned out alright.

[SonicFan117DASH]

8677086
Cool!

[Scholarly-Cimmerian]

I am in awe of the rhyming in this chapter. I can't string a rhyme together to save my life and so this was lots of fun to read. XD

Kind of makes me think of an odd mix of Dr. Seuss (for the rhyming) and Tex Avery (I was really thinking of some of the old Droopy cartoons, with the two burglars fleeing the house to scream at the latest pain heaped on them). I love it.