19 ~ Changing Tone
Alright, you can do this. Just be patient, don't push, and put together what to say before you say it. Shimmer prepared herself to speak with her counterpart by taking a deep breath as she pushed Sugar Cube Corner's entrance doors open and discovered few patrons -- none of who were Sunset.
This calmed her nerves for a time; though, as she found a seat in one of the shop's few windowed booths, she realized there was no reason for nervousness and awaited Sunset in patience joined by anticipation for progress. Every time the store's doors opened, she turned her head a bit to look (she faced the entrance) yet became disappointed. Did I get here early? No, this is right; I guess she's gonna be late.
Fifteen minutes passed before Sunset appeared. Any trepidation or fear within Shimmer vanished at this moment in place of surprised sorrow; Sunset walked straight and tall with her school bag over a shoulder but she was sluggish, exhausted ... beleaguered, and perhaps sick.
However, she reached Shimmer and apologized with an unstrained -- complete yet lacking in power or projection -- voice, "Sorry I'm late; I got held up." By someone harassing you, I presume.
Although Shimmer wanted to avoid pressing for information, she also wanted to ensure nothing serious happened, so she asked what first occurred to her. "It wasn't Gilda, was it? Did they want something?" Following a shaken head, Sunset tossed her bag onto the booth's table, sat opposite Shimmer -- who noticed at this point that Sunset was wearing her slippers -- rubbed her eyes, and rested her head on a palm.
"No," Sunset huffed. "It wasn't like that. They just wanted a chance to yell at me."
Shimmer hummed but couldn't find anything to say about the subject which didn't seem prying, nor did she believe her counterpart wished to dwell on the interaction. Hence, she decided to switch topics with curiosity on another note. "You're not wearing your boots?" This query caused Sunset to move her face from her hand at a speed implying shock.
"Oh! Uh ... force of habit, I guess?"
'Force of habit'? I thought they would stand out to you a little more. There appeared no reason to question the statement aloud, so Shimmer shrugged it off to forget. Until, that is, Sunset's lips pressed together, her hands dropped beneath the table, and she started glaring into the surface. Are you ... ? Unintelligible noises answered before Sunset constructed words.
"Mmm ... Ehhh ... Rrr ... Gah! I did- didn't- I don't- Just ... Agh!" Clear anger developed on Sunset's face as she started heaving heavy breaths one after another to an unhealthy degree. Okay.
Remembering what Sunset said about incoherent garble, Shimmer raised both hands in front of her face, pushed the air between them downward a few times, and caught Sunset's attention by instructing, "Sunset. Calm. Down. It's okay. you don't have to stress yourself; we have the entire afternoon, so just take things slowly like you said. I'm not gonna press you or judge you. Just take your time."
Stertorous breathing continued but ended after a momentary cycle of Sunset glancing from Shimmer's raised hands to her eyes and back. Neither spoke for a minute. Shimmer just waited for Sunset to collect herself and create proper sentences -- which she accomplished after a couple sighs.
"I'm sorry, Shimmer." she apologized for the second time during that conversation and apologized again right after. "I'm really, really sorry. I ... d-don't mean to lie to you, and I d-don't have any reason to either!" She's trying. That's progress. "I mean, other than th-that I'm scared for no reason ... an-and I want to tell you the truth. About it all, I swear! Just, it's so stupidly hard sometimes, but I want to- I can! Honestly, you're right! It's- It should be easy. I-I-I just-"
"Sunset," Shimmer interrupted with a cutting tone, "I have a feeling I understand, and I believe you. Just take it at your own pace, okay?"
"Right. My own pace. I can do that. And I can tell you the truth."
Hm, I'm getting this feeling like you're not saying this to convince me.
Uncertain silence subsumed the store's booth as Shimmer allowed Sunset plenty of time to stage things the way she wanted. It took a couple minutes, but Shimmer was patient and things finally progressed; they just, to her dismay, progressed in the form of more gibberish.
"Sss- Mm, er, uhh ... " Trying again? This is pretty depressing to watch but I can do it for you if that's what you need. "Duhh, 's ahh ... Hmm ... " Sunset's face tensed into frustration before she finally exhaled and stopped holding her head up so it could fall face first onto the table. "Uh-hu-uugh." Can't do it yet? Patience, Shimmer, be patient. Even if you can't imagine why this is so difficult for her, you can be here.
After this thought, Sunset lifted her head back up, drummed her fingers on the table, and pressed her lips together again whilst darting her gaze from Shimmer's to the window and back like she was trying to determine whether shutting up was a better practice.
Okay, let's see if I can't help you relax a little, but how how h- Ah.
"Could you eat?" Shimmer attempted to broach a subject which might be easier than whatever Sunset was failing to tackle.
Alas, Sunset met the question with a puzzled, "What?" rather than an answer.
"Could you eat?" Shimmer repeated. "I mean, the place is called 'Sugar Cube Corner'. I was thinking about getting a scone or something. Would you like anything?" Two hands waved along with a shaken head before a real answer was verbalized.
"Oh, no, you don't have to-"
"Shh sh, I want to. I insist; just name something you like and I'll see if they've got it or anything close." Confusion reigned on Sunset's face and she opened her mouth with a finger raised in obvious preparation to protest farther, but Shimmer urged more before anything else could be said. "C'mon, my treat. Who says 'no' to something they'd enjoy? It'll make things easier. I'm positive."
Quiet thought replaced Sunset's earlier confusion. "I guess ... " she acquiesced in a muted tone. " ... something strawberry? I dunno, a slice of cake?"
Strawberry cake. That's easy; no pâtissière worth their ... sugar wouldn't have that. Unless they were sold out, anyway. Giving a gentle smile, Shimmer stood out of the booth, assured, "Alright, I'll be right back." and moved away from Sunset fast with intent to return post haste.
Nobody was at the store's counter when she arrived. Of course, there was a small bell placed atop it designed for people to notify employees of customers, but Shimmer found such a system quite rude -- an insult to the work of those who busied themselves by making products others could enjoy without taking the necessary time and energy to manufacture the good with their own hands -- and was content to wait the two requisite minutes for Pinkie to walk out of the back room with a large tray of recently-prepared (probably by her) cupcakes. Besides, waiting gave Shimmer ample time to analyze a rather-extensive menu and ascertain accurate information to enunciate her wishes.
"Hiya Pinkie," she greeted with a bright smile before commenting, "You sure work here a lot."
The store's current clerk placed the cupcake tray in a glass display to the counter's side and returned, with a larger grin that Shimmer dared not contest due to fear of pulling a muscle, "Heya Shimmer!" Recognized me pretty quick. "Yepsies, here is what I love to do: bake! One day I'm gonna take it over or own my own!" Pinkie paused to look over Shimmer's shoulder. "I was about to say, 'I'm surprised to see you here alone,' but now I see Sunset back there."
Weird implications came to Shimmer at this comment, but she dismissed them as illogical conclusions and continued with her task. "Guess this is a nice place to talk. Can we get two slices of chocolate-strawberry cake and a blueberry scone, please?"
"'Course! It's kinda funny to see you both into strawberry like that."
Hearing this whilst Pinkie went about procuring the requested treats, Shimmer vocalized an instant curiosity. "What do you mean? I only have strawberry every now and again. I mean, it's okay, but I wouldn't call it my favorite." I just got it because I thought Sunset might feel more comfortable if I did, actually.
"Oh," Pinkie answered after a giggle and a tilted head while placing Shimmer's order on the counter, "Sorry, sorry. It's just that, whenever Sunset gets something here: it's always got strawberry one way or another. Without fail." Oh. Shimmer considered this for mere seconds before she paid and Pinkie dismissed her with a request. "Say 'hi' to Sunset for me."
"Why don't you say 'hi' to her yourself?"
No response came after a hummed, "Uh," from Pinkie for a moment while her ever-bright smile dimmed. "Well," she coughed out, "It would be bad service to leave the front. Never know when someone's gonna surprise you for a cupcake! Or, I guess this time, actual cake!" Say no more. I think I get it.
"Of course," Shimmer thanked the baker and turned away only to turn back so she could satiate her desire to understand an oddity she noticed before. "How'd you know it was me so fast and not Sunset?"
Pinkie was focused on searching for something but stopped to give the swift answer, "Oh that's easy; Sunset doesn't greet people like you: all polite and stuff and with smiles. Actually, I don't think I've ever seen her smile unless she was ... being mean or ... doing mean things and laughing about it." What, that's not- Wait, have I ever seen Sunset smile? For anything? Maybe there was a laugh or two?
To the statement and realization, Shimmer couldn't find anything to say about the matter so, instead, gave a lengthy hum and left the counter with two forks and dessert-bearing, ceramic plates.
Sunset was precisely how Shimmer left her -- with the same downtrodden demeanor she had prior. Either plate was placed on either end of the table (the one which held a scone was put in front of Shimmer's seat), there was a muttered, "Thanks," from Sunset, and Shimmer reclaimed her position opposite her counterpart.
Moments passed where Sunset did little more than stare at the cake, but soon started eating in silence. There were some satisfied hums which Shimmer couldn't help smiling at despite them being few and far between as she enjoyed her own cake. However, she was jarred from the quiet when Sunset asked a question which proved both pragmatic and unexpected.
"Why don't you ... tell me about you?"
"Huh?" Shimmer's first reaction made it to speech.
"I mean, I gave you quite a chunk -- albeit pretty vague -- about my life, but I know almost nothing about you." That makes sense. I guess I shouldn't have asked to receive and expected much without giving.
Recognizing Sunset's reasoning, Shimmer started, "Well," but stopped to think of a proper answer. "There's not much to tell. I grew up on the other side of the country, drifted through a pretty standard school, still haven't found anything I want to dedicate myself to -- not that that's a surprise ... I've pretty much been looking for something like that forever." She paused and, while shrugging one arm up slowly, let out a long, "Ehhh," before continuing, "Sure, sometimes I saw what others were doing and thought, 'that looks really interesting,' but I never got into those things or, Hell, could even work up the courage to go ask them about it. Making friends has always been a big challenge for me."
Clank went Sunset's fork as she dropped it onto her plate at this. "I can't-" she said but cut herself off. There was a moment where she again opened her mouth yet nothing came out. Then, she seemed to find what she wanted to say after shaking her head. "I find that difficult to believe; it seems like you're a lot ... friendlier than I've ever been. I mean, you just got me cake because you thought it would make things easier. I know I'm probably unqualified to say this, but: that seems like something someone who was really good at making friends would do."
What? Shimmer's own fork met her plate at these words which ... perplexed her. I guess you're right, but still ... It's not like I've ever done things like this for others. Just you. Because, uh ... Because ... Why? Maybe because I can talk to you? 'Cause you look like me? That's gotta be it ... probably ... or ... I dunno!
"Uh," she tried to explain herself and brought a finger to scratch her temple. "Well, I've never really done this before. It never seemed ... right, I guess." After a slow nod, Sunset requested elaboration on a previous point.
"You said you grew up on the other side of the country. What made you move out here?" Most of Sunset's cake when she asked this was eaten, and she retrieved her fork to continue picking at it, to Shimmer's delight, while the human-born girl figured out how to state a reply.
Just come right out with it and move on, Shimmer. "Uhm," she proceeded whilst resting either forearm on the table and leaning forward, "My parents started getting pretty sick, so we moved out here to stay with one of their old friends, who's a doctor ... among other things."
Eating stopped when Sunset swallowed the last bite of her cake, shuffled in her seat, and let out an, "Oh," before swallowing again. "I'm ... Uh, that must be pretty rough. I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It's not all bad; I got pulled out of school -- which wasn't much fun anyway -- and I ran into you ... " Shimmer was making words without much thought, chastised herself for it, and quickly added to distract from anything strange she was saying, " ... and learn about this whole world I never would've known existed otherwise, so ... I should thank you for, uh, giving me something exciting to put my attention towards."
Nothing came from Sunset in response -- just the sound of a fork being fiddled with over an empty plate -- until she locked eyes with Shimmer and about whispered, "Oh, I guess you're, eh, welcome?"
Stifling a laugh, Shimmer gave a wide grin which wasn't returned before inquiring, "Was there anything else you wanted to know in specific?" Humming, Sunset brought a finger to her chin and tapped it for a second preceding a swift snap.
"Ah, yes. I was wondering: why were you here -- in Canterlot at that park -- that night?"
With this, Shimmer raised an immediate suspicion. "You weren't happy to run into me, were you?"
Sunset rolled her eyes. "Okay, no I was not. Emphasis on 'was'. You almost hindered my escape."
"From your friends?" Shimmer interjected.
"It's complicated. Wait, no it's not. They dragged me out to a show, I got recognized by people who don't like me, they chased, I got away, then I ran into Rainbow and ran from her out of spite, so no I was not happy to faceplant into you. Again, though, that was then."
Raising a brow, Shimmer wondered aloud, "And now?"
Quiet seconds passed before Sunset shifted her weight back and forth a few times and answered, "Now I realize that you're probably the least intolerable person I know."
"Aw." Shimmer tossed a hand over her chest. "That must've really come from the heart; I'm touched."
Sunset rolled her eyes again and crossed a leg over it's counterpart before trying to move on. "Yes, yes, what about my question?" Wait, I need to enjoy this a moment longer.
Employing faked, choked-up speech, Shimmer moved her non-heart-covering hand to dig an index finger into a tear duct and joked, "H-hang on, I'm just so moved. I think there's ... s-something in my eye." Instead of being amused, Sunset crossed her arms, glanced upward, and shook her head.
"You're ridiculous." she huffed.
No smile, okay, Shimmer thought but ended up chuckling nonetheless before explaining, "I came here because I- Hang on, let me go back; see, when I was younger, I had this violin that I really liked playing. The tone was beautiful so I practiced quite a lot, but I ended up breaking it and I never really cared to get back into it." Noise came from beneath the table as Sunset uncrossed her legs and leaned closer with a tilted head. Glad to see you looking at me a lot more. Dismissing the internal note, Shimmer continued, "Anyway, I read about this music store here that's open on Sundays and went there that night to check it out."
Placing her elbows on the table and resting her head on either palm, Sunset blurted out, "'Violin'? I don't think I've heard that one before." This, Shimmer -- regarding the violin as one of the most mystifying instruments ever made -- was shocked to hear.
"What? That needs to be remedied; it's no wonder you got all mean if that's the case! I'd say to look up some pieces, they'd be amazing, but there's nothing like hearing it in person. I'll have to play it for you when I get one again." Shimmer froze after listening to what she said. Shit. Was that rude? I shouldn't have said it like that. Concern smacked her like a swarm of bugs on a speeding car's windshield.
Making matters worse was Sunset's silence; she continued resting her head atop her hands but closed her eyes with a low, continuous hum which scared Shimmer into deliberating what she did and what to do.
Ugh, I can't take back how I said that. Oh my- Shimmer you- she panicked inside, heart beginning to race, before a possible solution struck. You should just apologize before she ...
Sunset's eyes popped open and she made Shimmer realize that she was worrying over nothing by saying, "Alright, I'll look forward to it." in a tone which harbored no annoyance whatsoever. Eye contact was broken, Shimmer turned to her half-eaten cake, took a shallow breath, and picked at it with her fork for a moment to calm herself. Maybe avoid talking about how she got all evil, but don't freak out. It's just a conversation. A simple ... conversation between ... friends. Relax and be yourself. It's nothing worthy of panicking.
Looking to Sunset again revealed that the girl's lips were again pressed and she was looking to hands which were squeezed together on the table. She's trying again. Should I- Before she could think or consider any ramifications, Shimmer's mouth moved.
"Sunset, I know what it's like to feel like you can't say what you want, but I know that you can do it and you'll feel a million times better when you do." Dammit, Shimmer! Why did you do that? You've just put pressure on her, that's all! Regardless of her reflections, it was said and there was nothing she could do to change that. All she figured was reasonable by then was to shut up and see what would happen.
Quiet was first. Following was a strong, prepared-for-anything stare and a raised finger from Sunset. Last, she opened her mouth, breathed in, and ... that was is. No words were given life by that breath; it was just inhalation preceding containment of the taken air, and Sunset's features transformed from expressions of determination to fear, to anger, and settled on sadness. Gah, you moron! She wouldn't be so hurt by it if you didn't try to encourage her. Stupid, stupid, stupid!
Whilst Shimmer scolded herself for impulsiveness, Sunset dropped her head onto the table and protected her face from sight by any angle -- using her arms as defenders. Look what you did, you idiot. Fix it ... somehow.
"H-hey," Shimmer started while, without thinking, reaching to place a hand on Sunset's right forearm. However, after feeling Sunset's leather jacket for a second, she remembered what happened the previous time she did something like that and pulled away. Worrying about how to cheer Sunset up clouded her attention from observing that Sunset hadn't reacted to the touch at all. "Do you, uh, play any instruments?" Shimmer tried to redirect the conversation to its prior topic.
Groaning, Sunset raised her head to support it by either temple but didn't answer. Instead, she stared at the table and heaved three long breaths. Each moment Shimmer waited in the silence was another which barraged her with a feeling of pure failure and incompetence. Hope that the conversation could be salvaged, however, came as Sunset accepted the subject return.
"No," she yielded. "I played guitar for a few months after I got situated here, but it was only to help me get better at using these to do things rather than magic." She lifted her head so she could wiggle her fingers for Shimmer to understand the implication.
Of course, Curiosity about Sunset's home dimension sowed itself into Shimmer's focus with the statement and little else in the way of small talk occurred to her, yet asking Sunset about it might've triggered another discomfort regarding truth. What do I do? What do I say? How do I- Shimmer was startled from thinking when Sunset smacked the table and offered -- desperation devouring her demeanor like she was grasping for straws to climb with -- exactly what Shimmer wanted.
"Do you- Y-you do wanna hear about where I'm from, right?"
"Uhm," Shimmer began responding with words but decided nodding was less risky.
"Okay, I'm gonna give you- W-well, I'm gonna try to explain it so you get the general idea."
Ten minutes later, Shimmer's mind was a swarm of the phrase, 'What the Hell did I just hear?' repeating like a hungry house cat's meows. Five minutes more passed before she put things together enough to clarify, "So, let me make sure I have this straight; you were originally a quadruped who used magic or slippery ... hooves to accomplish stuff and manipulate the environment?"
"Hands are better." Sunset laid out while nodding. "Well, maybe not better than magic, but they're really good at, like, picking up and holding things."
Need a minute to wrap my head around this.
Either girl sat in silence for a while, Sunset giving Shimmer time to do just that, but the dimensional interloper finally broke the silence with an insecure-sounding, "You don't believe me?"
Aerick's words, 'I've 'eard an' seen weirder from tha' science-y lass in tha' cabin down yonder.' came back to support Shimmer's adaptability capacity. Ignore any questions, Shimmer, now is not the time. Relaxing herself and placing her hands on the table, Shimmer assured, "It's a pretty big bomb to drop; I'll want to get more evidence of all this later, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt for now."
"Whew," Sunset sighed to this, closed her eyes, and leaned back against the booth's divider with a hand over her diaphragm. Shimmer noted this relief but sought to continue the conversation both to distract herself and move to new territory. However, her method wasn't far away and ended up as a question she was only somewhat sure wouldn't panic Sunset.
"Uh, I don't mean to pry or dwell, but: do you think you'll ever go back?"
Tick went Sunset's tongue as it clicked against the roof of her mouth. She glanced at her hands, curled and uncurled their digits a few times, and turned her attention toward her empty plate before answering, "I hope I don't. I don't want to."
"Despite magic?"
"Despite magic. Things here, people here ... They make more sense in a lot of ways. Besides, this place has magic of its own sort -- a lot of which I definitely have yet to learn about; like, maybe, the violin will turn out to be one example."
Shimmer interjected again, "I promise you: it will be."
Alas, where Shimmer was expecting a grin or a chuckle or ... some expression of joy, all she got was her counterpart's head tilted toward her before Sunset continued, "Maybe I'll visit again one day, but I don't think I'll ever want to live there again." Disregarding her failure, Shimmer smiled at this answer for selfish reasons more than anything else.
Presuming every detail Sunset had thenceforth given was true, which could be tested as things progressed, Shimmer would have someone she could talk to -- really talk to; she was finding being around and conversing with someone else to be rather delightful in essence.
Not that, of course, she couldn't do that with others, but she wasn't so nervous around Sunset for some reason she wasn't certain of, she didn't freak out as much as she generally did in interactions more complex than quick greetings, and she felt more natural during their discourse than with anyone else -- even family members sometimes made her panic. Again, probably because she looks like me, but I'll take it.
"I suppose you should be able to and choose whatever makes you happy." she remarked whilst drawing conclusions. Not that you being here doesn't make me happy. 'Cause it has been. Should I say that? No, I don't think so; that's weird. Hell, I'm not sure I could.
Yanking Shimmer from thought, Sunset retorted, "Not sure I would go so far as to say 'happy'. Maybe 'happier' is accurate. Things here are just a little more sensible. People are ... giving me ... " Sunset stopped to hug herself, shut her eyes, and puff out some air before continuing so quiet that Shimmer leaned in to ensure audibility. " ... more of what I deserve."
Every faculty of Shimmer's consciousness worked to replay and analyze those words. What? 'What you des-' That's ... Something she wanted to express for some time, but never found the words or courage to, bubbled to the surface of her being in an adamant display; she abandoned any semblance of restraint, smacked a fist onto the table, and stood in an awkward manner over the surface. Had these acts failed to catch Sunset's attention, Shimmer demanding attention with, "Sunset," in a 'listen-to-me-very-carefully' tone unequivocally succeeded.
"That's ... wrong." she declared. "That is so wrong; it's unacceptable! Twisted! Misconstrued justice is what it is!" Words preceded Shimmer's thought. Though she hated the idea, she trusted they were manufactured in her subconscious days ago. "People- Nobody- You don't deserve to be treated how you're being treated. Look, I understand why you, and probably the other's you've wounded, think you do, but it's immoral! Perhaps you did terrible things. Who cares? That's not the important part -- at least to me. What's importan- no, imperative is that you realize what you did and why it was horrible, an-and that you want to change."
Sunset's gaze darted from side to side at a speed which broadcasted confusion, so Shimmer elaborated.
"Maybe you deserve some kind of karmic punishment or something, but come on! You can hardly tell the truth, people cast you out left and right, you're so angry with yourself that you're afraid to ruin anything else, just trying seems to scare you, and it's tearing you apart inside -- which has been argued to be worse than physical trauma! Isn't that punishment enough?"
Stopping shifting her gaze, Sunset settled on looking to the rest of the store like she was checking to see if Shimmer was causing a scene. Not that Shimmer thought it mattered if she was -- this is important, dammit! -- but she contained her volume regardless, stepped around the table, and sat right next to Sunset.
From there, it made eye contact far more challenging for Sunset to ignore while Shimmer went on, "Listen, if I stole from you, realized it was wrong, and gave you back what I took, what would happen if you got so angry with me that you started stealing from me and harassing me for that mistake?" Sunset looked to the table for a second and opened her mouth, but she ended up returning to Shimmer's gaze and shutting it with a covering hand. "Don't you think that, if it went on long enough, I might steal -- or do something extreme -- to you just to inflict some suffering on you for my own relief? Then wouldn't the cycle repeat itself?"
There was a chain of disconnected hums and incomplete ideas as Sunset lowered her hand before she muttered, "I didn't- I ... never thought of it that way; it just made sense that I deserve this."
"I figured as much." Shimmer scooted closer and pressed her case. "That's why I said that to you." At least that's why I think I said that to you. "Sure, a lot of people aren't happy with you and it'll take a lot of time before things seem ... fixed. Sure, it'll be hard to deal with, and, sure, you probably feel like it's all on you." She leaned in just a little closer. "But, despite that you probably feel like the loneliest person in the world right now, you're not alone. I'll be here and try to do what I can, and your friends will warm up to you soon enough. Others too. I'm certain. You'll just have to exemplify the change you want to see in yourself and them, and it'll take time."
Saying this elicited a jerking back from Sunset and wide eyes. First, Shimmer worried that she said something wrong, but Sunset alleviated that fear fast -- indicating the reason for surprise as a positive one -- by stammering, "I can't- don't- H-how do I ... Th-thank you, Shimmer; it means a lot to hear that."
Grinning in response, Shimmer sat straight, thus making more distance between the pair, and enjoyed silence before cognizing her proximity to Sunset. Well, I don't need to sit here anymore. Although Shimmer kept her smile as she slid from the seat and returned to her prior location, she noted that sitting by Sunset was comfortable and being on the other end of the table wasn't necessarily a welcome change.
"Sh-Shimmer?" Sunset coughing and addressing her took her mind from the idea.
"Yes?" Shimmer urged without realizing what she was doing until Sunset's posture tensed and she proceeded.
"I-I uhh ... mmm ... " Really, we can talk again in the future. You don't have to do this to yourself. Right when Shimmer was about to raise this very point, she received a speedy, spoken-in-one-breath, "Ididn'twearyourbootsbecauseIdon'tthinkIdeservethem." Following the statement, which Shimmer had to meditate on quite a bit to grasp, Sunset heaved one breath after another and added, "T-that's ... part of it, anyway." 'Part of it'? Ho-ho-hold the phone, Shimmer, start with what you've got.
After resting her forearms on the table's edge and clasping her hands, Shimmer said, "Oh," and began forming a response. Drafting that response, however, became pressured by Sunset looking at her with a shaking, pleading expression, but Shimmer constructed something clear nonetheless. "I said I wouldn't judge you, so relax." Instantly Sunset did so. "Alright, why not stop thinking about whether or not you do deserve things?"
"Huh?" Sunset input as she tilted her head.
"Instead, put on the boots and let them serve as a reminder for you to think, 'If I did deserve these, what kind of person would I be? How would I act?' Does that make sense?"
Silence preceded a slow nod and a hum in response. Shimmer flashed another smile -- this one intended to be encouraging -- but received no such expression in return. Come on, what do I have to do to get a smile out of you? Oh, that's gotta do it. Widening her grin and leaning toward Sunset, Shimmer stated, "Sunset, you did it." Still, Sunset's lips did not curl up.
"Yeah ... I guess so."
Really! You've been trying to say that this whole time and now that you finally have it doesn't make you slightly happy enough to show it? Annoyance grabbed Shimmer but it was replaced by realization a second later. Duh, that's not the whole truth; that's why she said 'part of it, anyway'. Ugh, I'm gonna need a ton more patience than I thought. She hid her irritation by looking out the window and making a basic observation.
"Look at that, we're getting a stretch of warm before proper winter; it's starting to rain."
"It is?" Sunset almost jumped out of her seat at the mention. "I've gotta leave before it comes down too much."
Noting the hasty departure's start, Shimmer raised a brow and asked herself two questions -- only one of which had an immediate answer. You say that like ... Do you not have an umbrella or something? Should I offer a ride? No, now's not the time, but maybe ... She cleared her throat and asked, "Do you want to borrow an umbrella?"
"Nah, I'm alright." Impatience lined Sunset's voice as she retrieved her bag, plate, cutlery, and began toward the shop's exit -- where a chest-high receptacle waited for used dishes. What's the hur- Shimmer's mind was wrenched from wondering anything when Sunset spun on her heel, not two steps from the table, and asked something Shimmer didn't expect, was ecstatic to hear, and could only lead to one other question. "Shimmer, are you ... doing anything tomorrow?"
"N-not that I'm aware of. Why?" Of course, not that she did a good job, Shimmer tried hiding her excitement over the implication.
Sunset didn't make her wait; she doled out, "Would you ... wanna do this tomorrow? Same time. Same place? Assuming the weather's not ... bad, anyway." like she was dealing cards and stopped a few times to ensure she had the counting correct.
Null consideration delayed Shimmer's too-fast-for-her-liking, somewhat-loud, "Yes! Definitely! Of course!" Ugh, that sounded way too eager. Despite Shimmer's thoughts, Sunset nodded and left -- leaving her with a big smile and some dessert to finish. Before turning her focus to that, though, she watched Sunset (through windows at the store's front wall) rush away until she could be seen no longer. Even then, Shimmer stared at Sunset's last-seen location for minutes before thinking about anything, or anyone, else. Finally, when she did turn to the cake, her smile lost none of its luster and she had one thought.
That went well. That went really well!
Shimmer stayed in a happy mood through Wednesday and into Thursday; it was only fueled and stoked when she received a responding text from Sunset affirming that they were 'still on for the day'.
Entering Sugar Cube Corner found Shimmer, this time, pushing through the doors in gleeful anticipation rather than apprehension. That glee too increased as she again found few patrons present. Adding even more to her good mood was the availability of the same windowed booth, and she sat where she did yesterday with an uncontainable energy which she expressed by drumming her palms on the table at a volume demonstrating consideration for what few -- and far off -- others enjoyed the shop's pleasant atmosphere.
Sunset was, also reminiscent of yesterday, apparently going to be late, but Shimmer was expecting this and grateful for it since it allowed her time to calm herself. Yesterday's talk made her jovial to an irking degree.
Chill out, Shimmer! You're just talking Sunset again. Maybe you'll make some progress, and maybe not. Who cares? Just be calm and enjoy it. Tremors of excitement refused to listen to her thoughts. Geez, how can I 'chill out'? This is actually something I can do and look forward to seeing evolve! I'm talking to Sunset again, and she actually wants to talk to me!
One thing existed which could kill the intensity of her upbeat attitude; it walked through the shop's door along with Sunset -- suffocating potential and jollity for more than one person -- in the form of an aura of suffering and sorrow overcasting happiness as a massive cloud obfuscating ever-warming, uplifting sunshine.
However, Shimmer noted one thing which contrasted Sunset's worn-out demeanor: she was wearing her boots. Should I ask her about this? She's obviously not sleeping enough and that's the least of her problems, Shimmer wondered but decided prying would be a bad move and said, "Hi," when Sunset approached -- belaying confrontation of any sort.
"Hi," Sunset mimicked in a ticked-off tone while she threw her school bag onto the booth's cushioned seat, sat down, and dropped her temples into her hands. Something tells me you aren't mad at me. I hope, anyway.
Considering the logical reasons for Sunset's frustrations, Shimmer wagered a guess by asking, "Ahem, I'm just gonna bite the bullet here. How was school?"
Muffled groans came but no response followed until Sunset glanced out the window with somewhat-vitreous eyes like the very thing she looked through and said, in monotone, "It was fine." You're ... No way! That has to be a- "Agh!" Sunset snapped her head to Shimmer and growled, confirming the girl's suspicion, "No, it wasn't 'fine'. That was a lie." Do you just resort to lying instinctively before anything else? At least you confessed. "School was awful; it sucked! The students suck, the classes suck, my 'friends' suck ... Dammit, it's just the worst."
Placing an elbow on the table so she could rest her head on a palm, Shimmer waited to ensure Sunset was done whilst pondering what was being said. Okay, this has been going on for a while, so either you're just now snapping or something specific pushed you. Shimmer bet on the latter of her considered possibilities.
"Is it ... " Shimmer hummed, " ... really all that that has you riled up, or was it a particular one of those things?"
At this, Sunset mirrored Shimmer's posture supporting the head on a hand and huffed, "One of those in particular, I guess. Not that those other things don't annoy me."
"Was it Gilda?"
"No," Sunset answered without hesitation while shaking her cradled head. Neither spoke for a moment after this, for Shimmer was expecting more information which wasn't going to come. When she realized this, she leaned toward Sunset, hand and all, and debating asking.
May as well. "What, then?" There was an inhale but no answer.
Instead, Sunset exhaled, lowered her head so her eyes were hidden behind her hand, and delayed, "It'll sound silly if I say it."
Shimmer straightened, placed her hand on the table, then reminded, "I'm not gonna judge, Sunset. Tell me."
"Ugh," Sunset grimaced before leaning back and placing her hands in her lap. She looked up instead of at Shimmer before saying, "It was ... Octavia. I had to play chess with Octavia this morning and it was a royal fucking pain. Well, almost everything about that girl is a royal fucking pain, to be fair."
Wha- Chess? Oh, what's silly isn't what happened; it's how you phrased it. "Playing chess wasn't the pain. Octavia was, right?" Shimmer clarified.
"Yes! Exactly! I'm sick of her!" Curiosity struck Shimmer at this. I know she's intimidating, but ...
"What do you have against her?"
Alarm replaced curiosity as Shimmer watched something she'd become very familiar with after yesterday: Sunset pressing her lips together. However, words, to Shimmer's surprise, instead of incoherence answered, "I ... She-she's the opposite of me; I suck at being honest, but she's brutally honest. Even when she's keeping information from you, she'll tell you she's doing it like you're just not worth the effort. I don't know how else to say it, but it pisses me off."
First, Shimmer was taken aback by the fluency. Then, she thought about what she just witnessed and heard. Hold on. You, 'suck at being honest,' maybe, but that was pretty straightforward for- You just lied to me! 'Brutally honest' is just a generalization you gave me to dance around the truth! You do know how else to say it; you just either don't want to tell me or are scared to! Anger arose but Shimmer dismissed it for remembered patience and waited for another confession. None came.
"So, I'm guessing you're not gonna play chess with her again?" she asked to gauge how eager Sunset would be to move on; it turned out she moved on before a second passed.
"We have this dumb agreement, so I'll have to play with her more."
Do you even know that you just lied and dismissed it? You must, right? I can't- I'm gonna- No, Shimmer, do not confront her about it right now. Be patient. Play along. We'll get there. Before Shimmer could comment, Sunset continued with something which raised alarms. "I'm not sure who's worse between the three: Octavia, Trixie, or Gilda, but I finally have an opportunity to get something on Gilda and Trixie at least. Maybe ... I hope."
I'm not sure I like where this is going. "Uh, how's that?" Sure enough, Shimmer's impression was correct; she didn't like how things developed.
"Trixie's going to break in to the school on Saturday to steal something from Octavia; first, that's a chance to get really specific evidence if I follow them, and, second, there might be a chance to stop Trixie in the first place. Well, or make things harder for her, anyway."
"Why don't you just go to the faculty if that's the goal?" Shimmer scrutinized -- only to receive a raised hand and a slow-shaken head from Sunset.
Her raised hand was then joined by its counterpart and either curled so only index fingers were sticking out before Sunset informed, "Octavia specifically asked me not to. Clearly she's got some kind of plan she won't explain to me, but I'm gonna find out."
This all seems a little crazy, Shimmer decided, furrowed her brow, and expressed, "That ... seems a little iffy. You're going to do this by yourself?" A nod answered. "Sunset, that doesn't sound like a good idea."
Closing her eyes, Sunset dropped her hands onto the desk, tilted her head back and forth a few times preceding shaking it, and agreed, "That's because it's not. It's really ... not."
"What!" Shimmer leaned over the table, planting either elbow on it, and demonstrated her befuddlement. "If you realize that, then why-"
"Because- I dunno! I just- I really need a win right now, Shimmer. I guess ... Ugh, things- they've just been so irritating, and I finally have a chance to catch them on a mistake. Yes, it's brash, it's brazen, but I feel like I need to do it. Okay?" Sounds like something I'd expect from somebody sleep deprived.
Considerate or convincing argument appeared a futile pursuit to Shimmer after a minute of no exchange with which to think. Hence, she, hoping but not expecting to get something positive in return, asked, "There's nothing I can say to talk you out of it?" Verbal language didn't answer. Rather, body language did in the form of stony eyes and a head shaking with sluggish speed.
"Okay." Shimmer made up her mind -- realizing that she was likely the only one who knew of this plan besides Sunset. "I'm coming with you."
"Huh? What? N-"
"Don't argue with me. I want to know how this plays out; I want to know what happens to you. This seems extremely reckless and I'm betting you didn't tell your friends about it. If you need to do this to give Gilda and them the finger, then I need to be there. Alright?" Either girl went silent again. Shimmer worried that she would have to threaten to tell someone about this -- something she really didn't want to do as it would demolish whatever trust had been built -- but Sunset assuaged that concern by refusing to refute any farther.
She huffed a flat, "Fine," as she turned to the window.
I guess she realizes I could tell someone, Shimmer noted before coming to a more-important-to-her realization. She'd rather have me along than any of her other friends. Wait, that's conjecture, Shimmer. Sunset brought her from her thoughts with a stipulation.
"Just let me do things my way. Can we talk about something else now?"
"Of course."
This is gonna bother me until Saturday is over with. God dammit.
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9655784
This is true! In the paragraph, there are a number of things that imply it's Octavia speaking--the first line of dialogue is harsh and confrontational when Sunset's been sorta the opposite so far, and it just makes sense, contextually, that that first sentence wouldn't be said by Sunset.
But, something to consider is that you don't necessarily want to only imply something, because implications are always slower for the reader to parse than explicit statements, even if there's not much ambiguity. And, here, while it is a pretty strong implication that Octavia's speaking, it's still an implication. So I'd just question whether or not who's speaking is something you want people to take time to think over. For me, that's usually not something I want, so I'd just slap an 'Octavia said' somewhere in there, boom, everyone knows who's speaking, moving on, y'know?
(Side note, but also, yes, a paragraph break does usually suggest a change in speaker... but that's only definite if there're only two people talking, right? If you have a three-way conversation, or maybe someone interjects into a two-person one, a paragraph break almost certainly isn't enough, so being more explicit is, in my opinion, just a good habit in general)
9656248
You're absolutely right! And it is a super important distinction to make that that paragraph-split rule only applies when only two characters are conversing. Either way, if it's not automatically obvious through context who's speaking, I definitely want it to be crystal clean, and -- as you said -- that's as easy as 'Octavia said'.
Does anyone else think this is gonna turn into a 'Sunset loves herself' fic? If so, ONWARDS!