Down on her luck and stuck in a rut, Vinyl Scratch is looking for any way at all to cease her hardship. Her luck may change when she can't help but notice an enticing grey mare from across the bar...
Chapters (3)
Swaglestia
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Wooo! Another Vinyl/Octavia fic for me to follow!
The only criticisms I can think of at this point are considering making a chapter heading, and putting some sort of mark in between your transition from Vinyl to Octavia to avoid disorientation.
Looking forward to where your taking this. Keep up the good work!.
38461
Haha, you're right. A bar just sort of seems appropriate. Thanks so much for reading. :)
38481
Oh, thank you for pointing that out! The formatting kinda got messed up in the transfer from deviantART to here. I fixed it. :)
I'm glad you're enjoying it.
Vinyl/Octavia stories are always worth a good look. Granted you have Two's Company, Three's a Crowd and Allegrezza as the big shots in this category but there's always room for another great story.
Ah the joy of the fact that Cutie Marks are on your flank. Can never tell if someone is just trying to stare at your flank and/or plot or if they are just looking at your Cutie Mark to try and figure out what your talent is.
38547
Haha, thank you! Definitely glad you like it. :D
Yeah, I'm not expecting to get as much acclaim as those stories; they're wonderful.
Oh, the cutie marks. Leaves such opportunity for awkward situations.
Oh. Real nice to see them meeting more realistically. Whole 'Vinyl meets complete stranger and hour ago calls her 'Octy' and they're BFF' gets old very quick. Their personalities captured very nice, Vinyl at the end of her luck surely likes to drink... by the way, she must've been made a lot of bits to drink herself silly after six months of no working. Octavia, well, she's funny. Can't wait to read more.
I actually think you're on your way to one of the big shot slots with the interaction and witty humor you've woven in here. It's the interaction and description that sets stories like this apart and right now you've made both Octavia and Vinyl more approachable and humorous while at the same time a little bit melancholy. Shortly said, you've come off with a big hit and if you keep up the pace and the atmosphere you set here I'm pretty sure I'm gonna love this just as much as Allegrezza and Two's Company. I'm a bit biased but I will quickly shut down a tab if the writing style massacres a story but this one has me anxiously awaiting an update right from the first paragraph. Beginnings are usually the hardest part to nail for most writers, it's almost expected for the first bit to be wonky and the writing to gradually come into a flow but you managed to bypass that completely with a great intro.
Hmmm, this started out very much like another story I am reading, but then you made it into something better. I rather like this, I like how you have out in the open about being a fillyfooler right off the bat. I don;t think I have seen that yet. PLease keep up the good work
This is a good story. I think it would be really good if you could keep up the updates the way two's company does (this means i want moar)
However as long as im not waiting months i don't really care haha. Good fic so far. can't wait to see where it goes.
I assume more than one type of magic later on in the story. hint hint wink wink
i cannot wait for more of this!!!
Well, I can say that I think this story is coming along quite nicely ^^
I like the personalities that you gave to the two, not that their totally new or anything, but I find them a bit refreshing. Like the little internal conversation Octavia has with herself, when she tries to keep herself from falling into her own obvious upper class, aristocratic roots. I find little things like that enjoyable
Anyways, the story is pretty good so far and I look forward to the future very eagerly
I love this story. Its sad that it doesn't have more views because this one is really good.
keep up the good work i look forward to the next chapter!
Thanks, everybody! :3 Your reviews mean a lot and I'm glad you like the story.
Oh hey, revisions, those are always fun!
Know after reading it, I can say that you have succeeded in improving it, at least in my eyes.
I like what you did with the ending of the ex-chapter 3, I think the new segment adds to it quite nicely. The dialog too, even if it did house that awful joke (Why Vinyl, why?!)
Anyway, this isn't a complaint, it threw me off a little seeing you identify Vinyl as Scratch. Now that's not a bad thing, in fact I'm surprised I haven't seen others doing it, it just struck me as odd. Seeing as most times they are mentioned by first names and all, the last name being used was unexpected. Not a complaint though, just voicing what I thought.
Nice revision overall, I await future chapters
56122
I'm glad you see improvement. ^_^
Oh, geez. That joke just had Vinyl written all over it.
Maybe I'm weird, but to me, calling her Scratch is like just like shortening Rainbow Dash to 'Dash.' But, then again, that's just me.
56304
No, you're not weird, just unusual ^^
Unless... being unusual is being weird... then I guess you... hmmmmm... Yeah, I guess you are just a weirdo
Technically it is the same, it's just the first time I've seen it done, and it caught me off guard. I have no complaints over it really, personally I like the name Scratch. I guess on the upside you can now start calling her 'Scratchie', if you so please. Which actually doesn't sound half bad if you ask me
I must have to check up on this fic more, excellent stuff~
well i like a good octavia/vinyl fic and so far this IS a GOOD octavia/vinyl fic
Oh wow- the dynamic you've got going between Vinyl and Octavia is pitch-perfect- I love it! Will there be more updates?
88271
I've been swamped with life lately, but chapter three WILL happen, I assure you. I'm really glad you like it. ^_^
Thank you!
Wow, there is so much improvement in here it's ridiculous. The descriptions all sound really great, and you seem to have successfully moved the story somewhere else. Scene wise that is, I was wondering where you were going to take this after there little musical set. I can't say I'm surprised with it though, all Vinyl and Octavia stories seem to end up at the bar one way or another. That brings me to a question: Just what on earth [Equestria] do ponies have too strip? It's not like you see them wearing clothes normally or anything, so that kind of amused me a little.
Also, were you implying something when you said Vinyl's room was all black and white? When I read that a thought sprung into my head, but I'm not sure if that is how it is going to play out. It would be interesting if it did though, that's for sure
I do have one or two gripes with this though, but don't let that sway the fact that I enjoyed this chapter, a lot. First, when Octavia has her hoof swept up in Vinyl's magic, you describe it as 'somepony injecting an ice cold liquid into her bones'... Now this may just be me, but that sounds like it would be extremely uncomfortable and bordering on outright painful. You do have Octavia pointing out that it was 'an outlandish sensation', but from your description of it, it sounds like a lot more than that. It's not anything major, just pointing it out. Secondly... well actually, I guess that was the only thing... So instead I'll move on to something else. That something else being the little development with Vinyl's shades. This is to be expected from this shipping pare, seeing as it is done so often, but it is always fun to see how each author ends up having it play out.
Now a thing I noticed:
'You could at least try loosen up some.' I think you forgot to add some form of 'to' in there.
And with that, I'll finish this up with:
Awww, Octavia feels unappreciated... I'm quite sure Vinyl will turn that all around quite soon enough though
98459
Thank you, thank you! Glad to hear that it's getting better.
The bar is sort of setting the stage for what's to come. They definitely won't be there for long. XD
Ahaha, the stripper pole. To be honest, that was there for comedic effect; or it could cater to the popular headcanon that ponies wearing clothes happens to be even more provocative than being naked all the time. Either way, it's all golden.
The black and white room was sort of just a contrast between Vinyl's eccentric attitude and her relatively boring home. But I'd love to hear your thought, it could definitely lead to some inspiration.
About the magic: while writing, I sort of saw it as that sensation where adrenaline kicks in and your blood runs cold. But I imagine magic can feel a bit... uncomfortable.
I fixed that right after I read your comment. I totally thought I caught all the typos this time.
Silly brain, automatically filling in missing words when I need them.
Poor unappreciated Octy.
It's a hard-knock life for an earth pony.
But, again. Thank you so much.
Another awesome chapter! Glad to see that this fic isn't dead.
Can't wait for the next one
Epic chapter is epic.
Sweet Chapter can't wait for next one.
Only one complaint though: It needs to be longer
no but really great job /)
98483
Your welcome, and what is this? Ponies wearing clothes? How scandalous...
Well, what came to my head the first time I read that the room was mainly black and white was that Vinyl was color blind, or had some eye disorder. Now that I look back, that thought kind of seemed off because I'm pretty sure you mentioned certain colors while in Vinyl's perspective before. I just find the thought of Vinyl being blind or handicapped in some way appealing. I'm not sure why. but I do, hope that answered your question
Lyra, Bon Bon, Octy and Scratch? I LOVE where this is going.
good thing going, keep updating
Tracking
For awesomeness indeed!
Tracking.
I love it!
trrrracking
Write Faster!
Please?
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On Hiatus??????????????????????
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Don't take this the wrong way it's a good story and I did enjoy reading it. Unfortunately it isn't a great story. I would say six out of ten generously. I downvoted because this story does not deserve the perfect score you have thus far received. Under any other circumstance you would have my full support, but it really isn't perfect.
A few things i didn't like was just how quickly vinyl and octavia gravitated together in such an unlikely setting. Yes it is true that opposites sometimes attract but not in such a simple situation. Some more complexity to the first encounter could've made this story much improved. Secondly, i found a lot of the ponified names and references made in this story could stand to be improved upon. Maybe instead of Nightmare Moon Went Down To Equestria, you might have used Luna Went Down To Cloudsdale. The effect is changed very little and it seems neater. I was impressed by your spelling, this story was very clearly read over and edited carefully before being submitted. The story though, i believe, follows a very basic pattern using a classic shipping and an even more classic setting. The story lacked general imagination, though I feel like you took an obvious story and did a really good job with it.
I would love to see more writing from you, just not necessarily on this story.
-CC
Good story, will be waiting for more