How many timelines did Twilight visit? Could there have been more than the ones we saw in the show? This is one possible timeline where Twilight could have visited.
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- Member Since 2nd Oct, 2015
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ShadowStar_IMHP
I'm a writer of fanfictions. Of course being an amature I have spelling and grammar errors.
ShadowStar_IMHP
Joined 2nd Oct, 2015 ·
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Interesting
Great story overall
bravo to you on a very fine story. moondancer and twilight such a great pairing. nicely done!
There a few ideas I wanted to add to this story. Had the idea Vinyl Scratch would show up and that would lead to the talk of who the Elements were. I also had the idea that Moondancer would talk about how she defeated Tirek. In the end those ideas would have broken up the story flow.
One idea I might add in still is how Twilight Sparkle helped Moondancer hatch the egg. In this universe after twilight fails she becomes obsessed with figuring ut why and determined to make sure her only friend Moondancer won't. Typical twilight behavor her and Moondancer research the answer. it's during the library researching that this worlds Twilight would get her cutie mark and mark her as a Librarian/reasercher. There would be a few more info on how Twilights and Moondancer's friendship never faded in this timeline.
Perhaps I would write a sequal eventurally to add those ideas.
It's an easy bye resting idea that you should later turn into a full fledged story once you're a much better writer, the problem is, is that there are a ton of grammar mistakes and I guess it could've been done better. I see potential in you as a story teller.
REALLY emotional one-shot. The exchanges, characterizations and general wrap-up were all well done in all the right places. And it was a good detail having Twilight helping out Moondancer to make sure her friend succeeded where SHE failed. And, yeah, I REALLY felt bad for Cadance considering what Chrysalis did to this timeline's Twilight and Shining and got EXTRA emotional when it was revealed Celestia sacrificed herself getting Cadance back to normal. The worst part is, as emotional as all of this sounds, it is still a much better world than the ones shown in "the Cutie Re-Mark", mainly because the ponies weren't in the middle of a fate-of-the-world crisis. The reveal of this timeline's Elements line-up sounds good too. And, glad Moondancer gave Twilight the idea of distracting Starlight long enough for the Rainboom to take place. Hopefully, this timeline will still be intact due to "Multiverse Theory" because this universe has a great deal of potential.
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Thanks glad you like the one shot.
10189433
You're very welcome.
This was pretty interesting! I'm not sure if I would have ever considered any alternative timeline turning out so grim so fast, but the Battle of Canterlot was a very precarious situation. Everypony needs lots of therapy now lol.
I really like the idea of the dragon being hatched matching the pony who hatched him. Talon is super cute, and I enjoy Moondancer's characterization.
Over all a really interesting peek into an alternate universe!
10193130 Thanks I wanted to have a world were things were okay, just not as bright and happy as canon timeline. The fight at the Royal Wedding came to mind and the rest wrote itself.
I even had a similar thing happen in my Mother Moon, Causin Love story where Cadence almost lost control but was stopped thanks to Luna showing up and helping her calm down.
I do want to return to this universe and draw it out more. Perhaps once my other projects are done. I just don't want to it be the show with Moondancer and not Twilight I do want it to have its own variations. This was also before we found out Bon Bon was Agent Sweetie Drops of Smile so I would have to rethink that element. Hmm, perhaps Derpy as the element of Kindness!
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Derpy as Kindness would honestly be extremely adorable. I would love to see a universe where that happens! I'm also always interested in seeing the many different interpretations of her character. I'm partial to the one where she's a humble marepony who loves her daughter Dinky Doo very much and just tries her best in general. But I've seen loads of interpretations that were way different and still very cool.
But yeah! I mean, a universe where Luna is in Celestia's place alone is extremely interesting. There's a lot to explore here.
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Great now my muse is putting ideas in my head. “I know I don’t do very well. Kindness isn’t about doing well it about trying to help others. Sometimes we just need to know somepony cares.” Derpy says with a smile and holds out a muffin. “Muffin? It fresh from the Cakes oven.”
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A thousand times Yes. That was genuinely heartwarming.