I really only plan on 2 or 3 fanfics. But we shall see.
Rainbow Dash remembers her parents saying that a mark on the bottom of her right front hoof would appear, only when her sibling is in Ponyville. When Mahogany Cloud finds out that he has a sister, things go out of their way to make it trouble for everyone.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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*sees username and OC name*
Oh my...
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5fkpxV2OS1r1vcx3.gif
Alright, well. I'm sorry to say that this needs some work. I kind of like the idea of Rainbow having a brother, but the idea of her having a 'mark' just makes it sound very, how do I say it? Anime-ish... You're rushing way too much with the narrative, especially since you're obviously expecting your audience to take in all of this. Having a reader swallow your information and OC takes a careful pace, much slower than the one you've set up for yourself.
Favoriting because I need to read later, watching because you seem nice.
I sure like the idea of Rainbow Dash of having a lost brother
Keep going!!! its good
wow... less than 600 words per chapter so far. Recommend compiling it to one background chapter...dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cheerilee.png
hmm....*sees OC name and username* i smell a gary stu.
Another one of these... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Redheart_hmph.png People don't generally like it when you mess with canon, especially when it involves your OC and an anime inspired plot. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Cheerilee.png
733272
Also... Just what the buck is a gary stu?
733055
Why thank you RainbowDashian. That is a (maybe?) positive comment considering the others are (semi) negative even if its intended to be constructive crticism. You, my friend, stand out.
733751
Dont hate bro.
"Another one of these..." Another one of these what exactly? People whose Original Character has the same name as thier username?
733160 I accept your recommendation and shall look into it.
Though im unsure if the Twi face you used was good or bad intension. (My spelling sucks today :D)
733158 Thank you for liking the idea! :D
Edit: Sorry for the chain comments. Didnt bother putting all the replies in one comment. Im a silly billy
734700
cancelled?
ok thats just weird.
775230 Cleopatra. This story has been cancelled because i am too lazy to do something along the lines of delete and remake chapters. But because you said that, IT STAYS CANCELLED. HAHAHA
837513
darn.
837558 *insert trollface here*
i can help you with da trollface
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111214064523/halo/images/d/dc/Troll_face.png
tadaaaaaaaaa
and think of all those you are upsetting...sk8erdude, RainbowDashian, WonderDash, and me. You have no idea how horrible it is when you read a good story and there's no ending, do you? you know i'm serious when i bother to use good grammar.
Yes, but think about the ponies that are happy to see this story cancelled, which i cannot name because they are mostly unanimous. I mean, really. This story has more dislikes than likes. (Though they may be because it's cancelled, i don't know, and I don't really care.)
I actually thought it was A okay.
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Find yourself an avatar and come back later. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/t/trollface.png Hahaha. Just kidding. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Rainbow_dealwithit.png Besides. Me wuv you. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire.png
734664 Here is a blog about the Gary Stu